Meth I might have to do meth for the next 5 years

[anything else]

Hi everyone, just to let you know straight away, am going to be keeping details regarding myself, even tangentially, as vague as possible (except for the necessary details ofc.) not sure how much I need to explain about this in order for insightful advice and opinions so I’m just gonna start typing.

I am a musician and in my late 20’s. Until around 22 I still had casual and part time jobs whilst trying to make it in bands. Upon 23 years old, I was able to live solely from music. I had met enough bands, artist, friends of friends by that point and essentially became a ghostwriter. Word of mouth and repeat work meant I was making genuinely good money, but I still wanted money and fame. Yes it that is cliche but it’s just fucking true, and I always dreamed of being able to buy a house, do the same for loved ones but some in particular due to them not having access to basic things for a long time. And another person, I wanted to use money to do something for them and help their life. Truly this fucking annoying for me too and hard to explain the importance of but I can’t say things that could prove who I am and what I do.

Essentially, i have become a well-known performing musician, however only recently in particular has the money begun to come in-

also please note: I am independent and through all music streaming services combined, advertisement revenue etc I do not make what I should be making, but you guys would know as well that it’s the same for all musicians. Money mainly comes from merchandise, and second to that is live performance.

Meth and my music are tied together- I began to see success online after spending the night or day smoking and creating something very unusual but exciting to listen that. I am sorry but I can’t elaborate and i don’t even want to say unusual but just please take that and use your own judgement if you must.
The music I have now built a real career on holds a large majority of its appeal in it being *unusual* and fun at the same time.
I managed to write and demo a song from start to finish in 6 hours thanks to meth.

I can write this music off meth as well, however, some parts of my sound take bravery to commit into a song, as these are a key part of why my style actually works, and I don’t have enough focus and inflated self confidence examining if things are working correctly (vague again but needed.) regardless, despite it taking sometimes 5 days or 3 weeks to do without meth, I still get there.
I also have ADHD, but nothing much changes if I take anything, only if I start crushing and snorting. It seems to have an adverse effect, as the high does not give me the goofy confidence and courage to just fly for these ideas like meth does.

Meth has helped my career exist. After things visibly changed (literally, as in look at number of views/listeners over the course of a week) I’ve truly been so happy to make people have a fun night and see their smiles and popping off when I play the first few notes of something… and I have a beautiful partner who I knew before I became known which I always hoped would happen, and I’m already feeling rich. But the reality is:

Now that I have become known and have money, I cannot throw it away. I cannot spend 6 months writing 13 songs if I want to follow through with help saving the people I love like I promise myself. But I can do that in 5 years with the numbers I have currently, and they are growing so that might turn into 4, 3 years would mean I’d be an LA star basically and that idea is so bad. I like the fact that when I go outside, I usually see at least 1 or 2 people who stop me and say hey, it makes me happy. I also love that when I’m out eating or just getting food for the week I still can have privacy and live regularly.

What I’m asking for everyone is this: how can I continue to use meth for the next five years (3 days on, 3 days off) in order to reach my goals and what ways can mitigate damage towards my relationship, physical and mental health, and social life? Without the speed of writing paired with stupid confidence in musical ideas meth gives me, I can continue on with my career, but those who I want to help may have passed on by the time I can actually help them. I feel very overwhelmed, and if you think I take promises too seriously, just remember that you don’t know my situation but you can tell me I’m dumb and to just stop doing meth if you want, but that thought has crossed my mind and I’m set on following through.

If you need to know anything just ask, but obviously I will have to be careful in replying.

Thanks for reading. I left out a fair bit and it’s not painting a very good image but hopefully it’s enough. Please help me safely keep doing this and keep my life afloat.
Thank you again.

 

[Esperighanto]

Is there any reason you need to use methamphetamine over dextroamphetamine (or just normal, racemic amphetamine)? In blind studies, people can't distinguish oral administration of the two besides duration, and I can vouch for that too. Intranasal administration makes it easier to tell, but if you want a healthy relationship with amphetamines in my opinion, try to use the least toxic ones possible (prioritizing amp/dextroamp over meth). Also, avoid vaporizing it, intranasally dose if you need to but aim at oral administration as often as possible.

In college I was making money producing bass music and DJing, amphetamine fueled a LOT of time in FL Studio and coming up with/practicing sets for shows. Nowadays I find amphetamine somewhat helpful for it, but low doses (barely over threshold) of psychedelics have done me the best, personally. Certain instruments and tasks also benefit more from certain things, intricate glitch design benefits a lot of ketamine/canket, playing my upright electric bass is best done on 2C-B, 3-HO-PCP or 3-MeO-PCP, writing math rock riffs on guitar amplifies a lot if I'm using, speed, weed, mushrooms or any combination of those three. Harsh vocals (metal/punk shit that requires distortion and screaming) is best done while on amphetamine for me, but when I've recorded clean backing vocals and done the lead on soul tracks in the past, it was all cannabis edibles and ritalin that ended up being the combo that worked the best. I use a fucking tremendous amount of hallucinogens and have been making music for my entire life, so I've spent a ton of time experimenting with this concept in general.

 

[anything else]

Is there any reason you need to use methamphetamine over dextroamphetamine (or just normal, racemic amphetamine)? In blind studies, people can't distinguish oral administration of the two besides duration, and I can vouch for that too. Intranasal administration makes it easier to tell, but if you want a healthy relationship with amphetamines in my opinion, try to use the least toxic ones possible (prioritizing amp/dextroamp over meth). Also, avoid vaporizing it, intranasally dose if you need to but aim at oral administration as often as possible.

In college I was making money producing bass music and DJing, amphetamine fueled a LOT of time in FL Studio and coming up with/practicing sets for shows. Nowadays I find amphetamine somewhat helpful for it, but low doses (barely over threshold) of psychedelics have done me the best, personally. Certain instruments and tasks also benefit more from certain things, intricate glitch design benefits a lot of ketamine/canket, playing my upright electric bass is best done on 2C-B, 3-HO-PCP or 3-MeO-PCP, writing math rock riffs on guitar amplifies a lot if I'm using, speed, weed, mushrooms or any combination of those three. Harsh vocals (metal/punk shit that requires distortion and screaming) is best done while on amphetamine for me, but when I've recorded clean backing vocals and done the lead on soul tracks in the past, it was all cannabis edibles and ritalin that ended up being the combo that worked the best. I use a fucking tremendous amount of hallucinogens and have been making music for my entire life, so I've spent a ton of time experimenting with this concept in general.

I’m going to reply to this properly as soon as I can man, thank you

 

[Quasimoto]

Meth and my music are tied together

Meth has helped my career exist.

Now that I have become known and have money, I cannot throw it away.

No, no, and no.

Your post is gracefully written and very real, I laud you for that, and for you creating a post that is succinctly a short story of your situation in life and drugs. You clearly have a lot of self awareness, but I'm going to be upfront with you about it and my own opinions.

You are clearly intelligent and skilled, but to say your success was due to meth is, well, almost certainly nonsense and delusional thinking every addict goes through to justify their use of meth or any other drug. Meth may or may not have helped your career exist in a literal sense, but this is almost certainly retroactive justification.

Now that you're successful, you can't throw it away. This sort of answers your own question.

You are conflating your meth use with your career success.

I know of many famous musicians who have mentioned their meth usage, and the common theme is they quit early, or they continued but never ended with success.

I know of many rappers who mention their drug use in songs, and the common theme among the ones who actually go famous and get rich-- they actually don't use many drugs other than weed. Many of those hardcore gangster rappers people listen to don't even drink alcohol. It's a facade.

What I’m asking for everyone is this: how can I continue to use meth for the next five years (3 days on, 3 days off) in order to reach my goals and what ways can mitigate damage towards my relationship, physical and mental health, and social life?

I personally don't think you can. By 3 days on and 3 days off, I assume you binge meth and don't sleep for 3 days. But maybe you can clarify that, I always assume the most extreme, particularly with that drug.

Without the speed of writing paired with stupid confidence in musical ideas meth gives me, I can continue on with my career

I disagree. I think this is a lie you've concocted to convince yourself.

If you can make good music while high on meth, you are almost certainly a very natural and talented musician who can do it without meth.

and I think that sums up my point with this response.

If I come off crude or too blunt, I apologize. I just don't sugar coat my advice, but I am truly empathetic and trying to help, and much of my advice is based on my own meandering experience with hard drugs and alcoholism over 20 years.

 

[Esperighanto]

If you can make good music while high on meth, you are almost certainly a very natural and talented musician who can do it without meth.

This is what's really important to understand, if meth never existed and you just discovered ephedra tea/ma huang, you might be making the same post but about a much more sustainable and healthy drug.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Our national junky [RIP Herman Brood]

Speedfreak and Alcoholic, problematic combo, you just on stims right.
Well he had to quit as the Speed [dl-Amphetamine] after 30 years of heavy use.
As it stopped working [he iv-ed] why ?

Drinking remained a problem so he began slurring without stims,
his art was however uneffected. With or without style is style.
No noticeable difference he said, and i must agree.
Wouldn t he d been Alcoholic he stiil be going without speed making the same.

 

[jasperkent]

Please help me safely keep doing this and keep my life afloat.

If, after carefully considering the risks, you decide to go ahead and use meth regularly, here are some tips. I had a meth habit for about 3 years.

• Try to stick to your plan of 3-day breaks. A full week would be better. Keep in mind that most addicts can't do this-- a fundamental element of addiction is an inability to control one's use.
• The worst side effect of meth use is a lack of sleep. People underestimate how damaging this is. It's huge. So definitely take long enough breaks to get 4 or 5 nights of good (7+ hrs) sleep in a row.
• Another bad side effect is dehydration. Drink water, lots of it, even if you don't feel thirsty.
• Ya gotta eat. And not just food, but real food with real nutrients. Consider vitamin supplements-- especially B complex and C. Always take vitamins WITH food, otherwise they aren't absorbed.
• Finally, as with any drug, know your source and test your stuff. There's a LOT of garbage floating around out there.

(edit) I want to be clear: I agree with everything Quasimoto said and I strongly advise you to not proceed with your meth plan. Even if you follow these helpful tips your situation can still become catastrophic.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

If, after carefully considering the risks, you decide to go ahead and use meth regularly, here are some tips. I had a meth habit for about 3 years.

• Try to stick to your plan of 3-day breaks. A full week would be better. Keep in mind that most addicts can't do this-- a fundamental element of addiction is an inability to control one's use.
• The worst side effect of meth use is a lack of sleep. People underestimate how damaging this is. It's huge. So definitely take long enough breaks to get 4 or 5 nights of good (7+ hrs) sleep in a row.
• Another bad side effect is dehydration. Drink water, lots of it, even if you don't feel thirsty.
• Ya gotta eat. And not just food, but real food with real nutrients. Consider vitamin supplements-- especially B complex and C. Always take vitamins WITH food, otherwise they aren't absorbed.
• Finally, as with any drug, know your source and test your stuff. There's a LOT of garbage floating around out there.

(edit) I want to be clear: I agree with everything Quasimoto said and I strongly advise you to not proceed with your meth plan. Even if you follow these helpful tips your situation can still become catastrophic.

Might add ROA.

Go for oral. Not any of the more probable to lead to trouble options.
Maybe treat your self on a boof when it really feels needed. To go a bit further.
Bizar that Meth-ampetamine is just non existant overhere, while all 70+-ers know it all to well.

Lucky just missed it probably. No personal experience with it. But if its anything like dextro-Amphetamine.
Oral works very well, got prescribed doses myself, but never get addicted to it.
Don t even take my prescribed dose. Btw its not like regular Amph s its dextro,
and as you mention music appreciation and other effects you describe.
dl-Amphetamine seems not even Meth-lite.

 

[anything else]

No, no, and no.

Your post is gracefully written and very real, I laud you for that, and for you creating a post that is succinctly a short story of your situation in life and drugs. You clearly have a lot of self awareness, but I'm going to be upfront with you about it and my own opinions.

You are clearly intelligent and skilled, but to say your success was due to meth is, well, almost certainly nonsense and delusional thinking every addict goes through to justify their use of meth or any other drug. Meth may or may not have helped your career exist in a literal sense, but this is almost certainly retroactive justification.

Now that you're successful, you can't throw it away. This sort of answers your own question.

You are conflating your meth use with your career success.

I know of many famous musicians who have mentioned their meth usage, and the common theme is they quit early, or they continued but never ended with success.

I know of many rappers who mention their drug use in songs, and the common theme among the ones who actually go famous and get rich-- they actually don't use many drugs other than weed. Many of those hardcore gangster rappers people listen to don't even drink alcohol. It's a facade.


I personally don't think you can. By 3 days on and 3 days off, I assume you binge meth and don't sleep for 3 days. But maybe you can clarify that, I always assume the most extreme, particularly with that drug.


I disagree. I think this is a lie you've concocted to convince yourself.

If you can make good music while high on meth, you are almost certainly a very natural and talented musician who can do it without meth.

and I think that sums up my point with this response.

If I come off crude or too blunt, I apologize. I just don't sugar coat my advice, but I am truly empathetic and trying to help, and much of my advice is based on my own meandering experience with hard drugs and alcoholism over 20 years.

Sorry for only just replying now, I am very busy these days.
Firstly, i appreciate the time and effort you put into reading and breaking down my post.

Your statement "if you can make good music on meth, then you're a talented musician who can do it without meth" is true. I say in my post how I've been able to make this type of music without meth, but it is time consuming for mental reasons - the particular thing that meth does for me is that it inhibits my perfectionism, along with scattering my brain.
I don't get amped up and sleep with my partner nor do I do anything else that is typically associated with meth, It's a tool that lets me break down my fear of a new musical idea pushing the boundaries of certain musical rules TOO much- I just do it.
When sober, I'll write, delete, write, delete- but I eventually do just say fuck it and go with my gut... but only after 2 weeks as opposed to 8 hours.

The thing I'm concerned about man is that I'm not going to become wealthy enough quick enough to keep my promises. And these aren't just things that are a bonus for one particular person, it's becoming a matter of life and death essentially. Or it will soon anyway.

I am justifying my drug use as you said, yet at the same time, I am also terrified of failing what I need to do.

I'm not trying to dismiss everything presented to me either, please give me your thoughts again if you would like, because I will listen. I just wanted to make it very clear that I feel pressure to grow as fast as possible for emotional/personal reasons regarding my duty to help some people.

If, after carefully considering the risks, you decide to go ahead and use meth regularly, here are some tips. I had a meth habit for about 3 years.

• Try to stick to your plan of 3-day breaks. A full week would be better. Keep in mind that most addicts can't do this-- a fundamental element of addiction is an inability to control one's use.
• The worst side effect of meth use is a lack of sleep. People underestimate how damaging this is. It's huge. So definitely take long enough breaks to get 4 or 5 nights of good (7+ hrs) sleep in a row.
• Another bad side effect is dehydration. Drink water, lots of it, even if you don't feel thirsty.
• Ya gotta eat. And not just food, but real food with real nutrients. Consider vitamin supplements-- especially B complex and C. Always take vitamins WITH food, otherwise they aren't absorbed.
• Finally, as with any drug, know your source and test your stuff. There's a LOT of garbage floating around out there.

(edit) I want to be clear: I agree with everything Quasimoto said and I strongly advise you to not proceed with your meth plan. Even if you follow these helpful tips your situation can still become catastrophic.

I feel like Quasi may be able to convince me to not continue on and do this, but I will be doing this if it is the only way I can compose with this efficiency and follow through with my promises. I'll respond to each of your points:
- 3 day breaks are actually inevitable for me, as I refuse to perform high, and when not on tour I still usually have some form of performance every week, or publicity commitment. I also travel a lot and spend time with my partner. 3 day breaks are all good for me.
- Lol sleep. I'm fucked there to be honest. Actually I'm only fucked there when touring, but when touring I'm not smoking (unless there's some around during afterparties.) At home, I do have problems with sleep, but I do try very hard to get in as many hours as possible, especially these days because of how much other shit I have to do regarding my career. Not the fun parts like writing and performing, the shit parts. I should see my doctor and get a powerful level of melatonin or something perhaps.
- I'm a hydro-homie.
- It's funny you mentioned supplements, because at ~a point in time~ I had to lose weight rapidly to have more sex-appeal. Yes I know that's fucked up. Anyway, I eat properly everyday except during meth. I will use those supplements again during meth days.
- With who I know now, I can be pretty certain that this is the least cut meth I've ever had, and oh boy can I feel it. If the meth I'm having now is still shit, then honestly I can't think of a way to get better meth than becoming best friends with a cook/producer, whatever Walter White is.

 

[anything else]

Is there any reason you need to use methamphetamine over dextroamphetamine (or just normal, racemic amphetamine)? In blind studies, people can't distinguish oral administration of the two besides duration, and I can vouch for that too. Intranasal administration makes it easier to tell, but if you want a healthy relationship with amphetamines in my opinion, try to use the least toxic ones possible (prioritizing amp/dextroamp over meth). Also, avoid vaporizing it, intranasally dose if you need to but aim at oral administration as often as possible.

In college I was making money producing bass music and DJing, amphetamine fueled a LOT of time in FL Studio and coming up with/practicing sets for shows. Nowadays I find amphetamine somewhat helpful for it, but low doses (barely over threshold) of psychedelics have done me the best, personally. Certain instruments and tasks also benefit more from certain things, intricate glitch design benefits a lot of ketamine/canket, playing my upright electric bass is best done on 2C-B, 3-HO-PCP or 3-MeO-PCP, writing math rock riffs on guitar amplifies a lot if I'm using, speed, weed, mushrooms or any combination of those three. Harsh vocals (metal/punk shit that requires distortion and screaming) is best done while on amphetamine for me, but when I've recorded clean backing vocals and done the lead on soul tracks in the past, it was all cannabis edibles and ritalin that ended up being the combo that worked the best. I use a fucking tremendous amount of hallucinogens and have been making music for my entire life, so I've spent a ton of time experimenting with this concept in general.

Sorry I forgot to reply.
It's the "no fear" feeling, and also fucking up of my head that I actually want from meth, the speed of writing is a bonus but it only 10% quicker than if I were sober because as a musician yourself, you know that something like navigating your DAW for example is just a streamlined process now. Meth can only make you hit hotkeys on the keyboard so fast haha.

 

[deficiT]

Your statement "if you can make good music on meth, then you're a talented musician who can do it without meth" is true. I say in my post how I've been able to make this type of music without meth, but it is time consuming for mental reasons - the particular thing that meth does for me is that it inhibits my perfectionism, along with scattering my brain

Ahoy there brother! Csn I send you my mixtape!!!!!??!?!

 

[anything else]

Ahoy there brother! Csn I send you my mixtape!!!!!??!?!

lol sure

 

[deficiT]

lol sure

I was primarily joking i dont have quite enough material for a mixtape yet lol

 

[anything else]

I was primarily joking i dont have quite enough material for a mixtape yet lol

I assumed it was a joke, but I didn't want to be rude in case you were serious by responding with laughter. Feel free to message me a song and I'll give you feedback, I have time.

 

[jasperkent]

I should see my doctor and get a powerful level of melatonin or something perhaps.

Don't bother. Melatonin affects everyone differently and some people get nothing at all out of it. For those who do, 3mg to 10mg is plenty-- more than that brings quickly diminishing returns. I take 5mg.
Keep in mind that melatonin won't knock you out. It just provides drowsiness. If it's anxiety keeping you awake, you might try talk therapy, exercise, meditation, or nature walks. No medication will fix underlying stress.

 

[anything else]

Don't bother. Melatonin affects everyone differently and some people get nothing at all out of it. For those who do, 3mg to 10mg is plenty-- more than that brings quickly diminishing returns. I take 5mg.
Keep in mind that melatonin won't knock you out. It just provides drowsiness. If it's anxiety keeping you awake, you might try talk therapy, exercise, meditation, or nature walks. No medication will fix underlying stress.

I’m glad that I don’t have a stressful job where everyone’s watching me or something

Joking aside, I will ask for my doctors thoughts. He is very good and knows what my career is and also aware of my meth usage. Because lying to a doctor is the dumbest shit.

 

[bbcwhore]

I also get really creative when I do ice I recently found a stimulant program for meth use disorder that I'm in PA I'm assuming you're in Cali but it prescribes Adderall so that might help you I'm also in relationships and such it really becomes a point of doing the drug and not letting me do you like I went from smoking this snorting the shooting almond eye went from doing everyday to maybe once or twice a week becoming productive on it is a lot easier I'm supposed to be starting Adderall next week

 

[Biekdafreak]

Are the voices in your head (illuminati or whatever they go by) showing you how it takes you being on meth? They said something similar to me and if I didn't get high I didn't have the same ability. Realized that if God wanted me to do that he'd help me do it sober. And Satan is considered the father of lies so even if you believe the next 5 years will go well musically and career wise while doing meth it will most likely end badly. I've over 4 years clean off meth now and a higher power has helped me in better ways than whatever evil was offering to help me while I did meth and ruined my life.

 

[bingey]

Meth is the devil imo

 

[Biekdafreak]

Meth is the devil imo

agreed