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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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hello everyone in 2 days it will be 13 months without haldol injections I do a lot more things now like go fishing šŸŽ£ go picking go for a walk go shopping market seems much easier I'm not there anymore is posts in the legs as the beginning of weaning you know the heavy legs, today I prepared a Moroccan couscous for my mother who came to visit us I also make very good Moroccan tagine, I have the impression of reliving the friends, I still haven't found my libido at 100% like desire but the orgasm is almost normal now the quantity of sperm is like before the morning erections have returned almost every morning this means that the testosterone is skyrocketing is it it's also a sign of good health the emotions that I feel are mainly the negative ones like stress, fear and a little anger, it's about the positive emotions I had a few bars of laughter this month if I'm so happy my daughter at 5 months tomorrow I conceived them even if I was not in very good health, compare to my son whom I conceived in excellent health in 1 week he will be 18 months here just to tell you be patient everything has an end let go, healing is real strength for everyone, it is recommended if you want to heal like many do not take any chemical drugs during your convalescence full of happiness everyone šŸ§”
 
if there are people who speak French or English you can come to our WhatsApp group there are 2 people who speak English and for the others we will use the translator fanzy is with us also we help each other in healing pm me if you want to come you are welcome
 
maryjaneforever said:
Youā€™re pathetic. I can see straight through you.

Yeah I got the advice from in here from other people which is why people come here.
People had advised to try St. Johnā€™s wort. I tried that. People had advised to try cogentin benstropine I tried that. They both helped.

I still have no relief to my sleep and morons like you.

No joke. You want to hear a joke? You.
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yeah and if people advise you to take rat poison, will you take it? in short, I'm positive, I'm not here to worry about you, I wish you to be happy šŸ˜š
 
Let's talk about healing here, we're all looking to heal, right? why do we argue over trifles? sorry sometimes the English French translator translates poorly he doesn't write what I want to say word for word.
 
fenec said:
you're the only person who tells me to leave even though I've been here for 5 months, you just arrived lol
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No I never told you to leave. I just said that you had haldol and you give people wrong advice.
Iā€™ve been here awhile I just never posted.
I originally posted to find a female who had had a baby since invega.
Iā€™ve spent the whole year reading every thread and I know what helped me. I know what helps.

I still need to find a woman thatā€™s had a child since invega.

Thatā€™s it from me.
 
maryjaneforever said:
No I never told you to leave. I just said that you had haldol and you give people wrong advice.
Iā€™ve been here awhile I just never posted.
I originally posted to find a female who had had a baby since invega.
Iā€™ve spent the whole year reading every thread and I know what helped me. I know what helps.

I still need to find a woman thatā€™s had a child since invega.

Thatā€™s it from me.
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You should talk to Kaatrina, she has had two kids I think?

I don't think they give invega to women or assigned-female people very often. It's usually men in this thread anyway.
 
maryjaneforever said:
No I never told you to leave. I just said that you had haldol and you give people wrong advice.
Iā€™ve been here awhile I just never posted.
I originally posted to find a female who had had a baby since invega.
Iā€™ve spent the whole year reading every thread and I know what helped me. I know what helps.

I still need to find a woman thatā€™s had a child since invega.

Thatā€™s it from me.
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kaatrina had a baby, she received 6 invega injections she says her libido returned fully in 1.5 2 years of stopping
 
InvegaAnon said:
You should talk to Kaatrina, she has had two kids I think?

I don't think they give invega to women or assigned-female people very often. It's usually men in this thread anyway.
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Where can we find the I hate haldol please thread?
 
maryjaneforever said:
Can you read?

Go try some Invega. Youā€™ve never had it. You just repeat the same shit everyday. AND YOUVE NEVER EVEN HAD INVEGA.

People come here for advice on invega.
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Can you please not bring this level of volatility into the thread? It's not appropriate.
 
The fighting is unnecessary..if you don't like what someone is saying, just ignore their post. If I cared about what everyone said in these threads I'd be a hopeless son of a bitch and on a thousand supplements.
 
@Kaatrina Can you please talk to @maryjaneforever about your pregnancy after invega?

I'm also curious about how long it took for your period to regulate because I still have cycles that are too long, although I may have asked you that before. I have high testosterone so it could also be that.
 
maryjaneforever said:
Itā€™s a depression Iā€™ve never felt before in my life and Iā€™ve always had depression.
Itā€™s a deep deep sadness that cannot be described by normal depression. Itā€™s haunting.

They said I have bipolar and tried pushing mood stabilisers on me. But they want you on another antipsychotic after giving you invega. Thatā€™s so unfair. You wonā€™t need another antipsychotic after getting injected with that poison.

My advice if you can, try to get pills and pretend to take them. Take them for a few days so you can report back to the doc with how it makes you feel so you know the side affects and then stop taking them.

They tried to put me on oxcarbazepam as a mood stabiliser after Invgea. I took it for a week and it gave me double vision and dizziness like it felt like I was in an elevator. I stopped taking them and told the doc yeah itā€™s going fine but Iā€™m dizzy etc so he still thinks Iā€™m taking them.

Invega has still changed my way of thinking and thought process 12 months later. It scares me what it has done to my brain.

If you look up all the symptoms of dementia thatā€™s what invega has as side affects. Itā€™s scary. And they say itā€™s not to be given to dementia patients. Yeah no wonder.

Although the early signs vary, common early symptoms of dementia include:
  • memory problems, particularly remembering recent events
  • increasing confusion
  • reduced concentration
  • personality or behaviour changes
  • apathy and withdrawal or depression
  • loss of ability to do everyday tasks

I remember laying in bed one day just thinking omg what has happened to my brain something isnā€™t right.

Show me one person who will say oh yeah invega helped me Iā€™m so glad I had it. They have no right to blow up your brain like this. No one would choose this as ā€œhelpā€.

Canā€™t get drunk canā€™t get stoned canā€™t watch tv or listen to music canā€™t feel joy never laugh again. Canā€™t shit. Canā€™t shower.

Itā€™s also the inability to describe whatā€™s going on to someone whoā€™s never had it. You cannot even articulate how bad this is. When my brain couldnā€™t even work out how to tye the noose, which Iā€™d done before, I knew something was so fucked. I thought I canā€™t even get myself out of this hell.

At the start I just kept thinking omg this is so bad this is so bad this is hell this feeling. Then I said to myself you could always kill yourself. And I went ok yep and I felt better knowing there was a way out of this hell. I felt relief. Endure it for a few more months and if itā€™s still hell you can leave. I just had to work out a way of here. Once I had a way and I knew I could leave I felt relief, I can always leave when Iā€™m ready. A couple of times I woke up in the morning and went nope Iā€™m not doing this another day and went and bought a few things and said fuck it Iā€™m doing it.

All I can say is if you feel this way donā€™t listen to your own thoughts. They are not you. Itā€™s the fucking invega. I donā€™t feel this way anymore. Iā€™d never felt that way before. Ever. Iā€™d never thought about death and escaping so much. They are not your thoughts itā€™s the fucking invega. Itā€™s still astounds me how it did this to me. Because Iā€™d never been this way before. Itā€™s a whole other type of hell I never knew even existed or that Iā€™d be capable of.
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I have had to clean up the last few pages of this thread quite a bit. May I please remind you all that this is a support thread. We are here for each other, for advice and support. We are not against each other, this is not a competition of who's had which medication and who's having a worse time. We are all in this together. I know some of you are having a really hard time right now dealing with your recovery, but please do not fight with each other this thread. That is not the purpose of the thread. Thank you - SMod
 
maryjaneforever said:
Itā€™s a depression Iā€™ve never felt before in my life and Iā€™ve always had depression.
Itā€™s a deep deep sadness that cannot be described by normal depression. Itā€™s haunting.

They said I have bipolar and tried pushing mood stabilisers on me. But they want you on another antipsychotic after giving you invega. Thatā€™s so unfair. You wonā€™t need another antipsychotic after getting injected with that poison.

My advice if you can, try to get pills and pretend to take them. Take them for a few days so you can report back to the doc with how it makes you feel so you know the side affects and then stop taking them.

They tried to put me on oxcarbazepam as a mood stabiliser after Invgea. I took it for a week and it gave me double vision and dizziness like it felt like I was in an elevator. I stopped taking them and told the doc yeah itā€™s going fine but Iā€™m dizzy etc so he still thinks Iā€™m taking them.

Invega has still changed my way of thinking and thought process 12 months later. It scares me what it has done to my brain.

If you look up all the symptoms of dementia thatā€™s what invega has as side affects. Itā€™s scary. And they say itā€™s not to be given to dementia patients. Yeah no wonder.

Although the early signs vary, common early symptoms of dementia include:
  • memory problems, particularly remembering recent events
  • increasing confusion
  • reduced concentration
  • personality or behaviour changes
  • apathy and withdrawal or depression
  • loss of ability to do everyday tasks

I remember laying in bed one day just thinking omg what has happened to my brain something isnā€™t right.

Show me one person who will say oh yeah invega helped me Iā€™m so glad I had it. They have no right to blow up your brain like this. No one would choose this as ā€œhelpā€.

Canā€™t get drunk canā€™t get stoned canā€™t watch tv or listen to music canā€™t feel joy never laugh again. Canā€™t shit. Canā€™t shower.

Itā€™s also the inability to describe whatā€™s going on to someone whoā€™s never had it. You cannot even articulate how bad this is. When my brain couldnā€™t even work out how to tye the noose, which Iā€™d done before, I knew something was so fucked. I thought I canā€™t even get myself out of this hell.

At the start I just kept thinking omg this is so bad this is so bad this is hell this feeling. Then I said to myself you could always kill yourself. And I went ok yep and I felt better knowing there was a way out of this hell. I felt relief. Endure it for a few more months and if itā€™s still hell you can leave. I just had to work out a way of here. Once I had a way and I knew I could leave I felt relief, I can always leave when Iā€™m ready. A couple of times I woke up in the morning and went nope Iā€™m not doing this another day and went and bought a few things and said fuck it Iā€™m doing it.

All I can say is if you feel this way donā€™t listen to your own thoughts. They are not you. Itā€™s the fucking invega. I donā€™t feel this way anymore. Iā€™d never felt that way before. Ever. Iā€™d never thought about death and escaping so much. They are not your thoughts itā€™s the fucking invega. Itā€™s still astounds me how it did this to me. Because Iā€™d never been this way before. Itā€™s a whole other type of hell I never knew even existed or that Iā€™d be capable of.
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Thanks for taking the time to share your experience Invega is horrible and it really has helped me to hear your experience and know I'm not alone in how crappy I feel. Though some days I feel like I dont want to live anymore my love for my family keeps me going. I wouldnt wish this garbage on my worst enemy and at the ward I was in they are injecting people with this shit steady.
 
maryjaneforever said:
My biggest fear. I didnā€™t know how important hormones were.

I conceived my first child without a problem, my body did its thing, she grew I birthed her. I didnā€™t even have to think about it.

Now that Iā€™m trying to get pregnant again Iā€™m learning all about the hormones and what my body needs to make a baby. And Iā€™m scared. The smallest lack of something and you donā€™t conceive. And keep to term.

My pituitary gland needs to send lh to my ovaries in order to ovulate. Dopamine assists in ovulation. I need estrogen to do cervical things. Itā€™s all a delicate balance down there, all created by hormones in the brain, which invega fucked.
I need estradiol and progesterone, hormones responsible for female development, fertility and maintaining pregnancy. The production of theses sex hormones are regulated by the gonadotropins FSH and LH produced in the pituitary gland.

I donā€™t even want to have sex. Theyā€™ve ruined my god given primal instincts.

No baby again this month :(
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Thanks again for taking the time to respond to my thread earlier. It was really nice to hear someone be brutally honest. I'm sorry Invega has messed you up so bad I just really wish there was something we could all do to bring awareness so no more people have to get messed up.
 
I'm convinced psychiatry doesn't completely understand the relationship between cannabis, psychosis, and the induction of schizophrenia through cannabis. They can't tell isolated psychosis from cannabis, cannabis-induced schizophrenia, or withdrawal psychosis apart. I just learned withdrawal psychosis was possible and it's probably what happened to me!

I smoked weed every day for three years with absolutely no issues. It never made me clinically paranoid. The worst it did was cause disassociation and it made me hyperanalyize my actions and thoughts because I have morality OCD and I constantly need to check to make sure I am not and have not turned into a very bad person. But I have a very marijuanaphilic brain. It helped my depression and OCD even if it made me spiral sometimes, so much so I didn't feel like I needed an antidepressant.

Full-blown withdrawal psychosis happens a week after you quit smoking cold turkey, each time it happened to me and I thought I was manic from my ADHD meds.

And yet I'm still not "schizophrenic because of weed". Other than withdrawl from invega, I've had no further mental disturbances. I bet if I had tapered off of cannabis I would've been fine and returned to normal without worry of psychosis.

Peoples' lives get ruined because of the lack of understanding and the lack of study. Fuck Nixon for making drug research too difficult, now we know next to nothing and people are getting hurt because of it. I don't believe people need antipsychotics (when the episode is THC-related) unless the psychotic episode persists past two weeks and they certainly don't need to be put on drugs for life because of isolated cannabis psychosis or withdrawal psychosis. Latent schizophrenia activated by cannabis is a whole other animal and it must not be confused with these two things, and it sadly frequently is.

If I ever get to piss on the graves of the provocateurs of the war on drugs, I'm going to take the opportunity.
 
Well , officially 7 months have passed since my last invega injection and unfortunate to say there have been no significant improvements since i quit 7 months ago. While I am noticing that I play more video games and watch lots of YouTube, none of it brings me any type of joy or pleasure. Could this be a sign that my brain is recovering and my anhedonia is lifting? no one knows, I will 100% know when my anhedonia lifts when I feel some kind of pleasure from my hobbies such as video games and movies but right now there is 0 pleasure. I have also picked up vaping nicotine in the last month and I also can't feel any nicotine but I just like the act of blowing fat flavoury smoke with my coffee which I also don't feel either. I mentioned that I was on a diet on my last monthly update and while I did lose 15 pounds in the span of 4 weeks , I'm sad to say that I have put it all back on because I started eating out everyday . I got tired of eating eggs everyday and my cravings for processed food was so great that I genuinely believe it rewired my brain to be addicted to processed foods. I will begin my 2nd weight loss journey on October 1st and this time I will 100% stick to it, no more processed foods or anything. I want to lose 45 pounds to get to my goal weight of 160 pounds. I see a psychiatrist at the end of october and this will be another attempt at asking for a stimulant or an maoi . I know stimulants or maoi will help with the lack of motivation and concentration but because my history of psychosis no psychiatrist will give me either of these medication. Overall , I'm maybe at max 5% better but its really nothing when you take into account that I have been invega free for 7 months from now. I pray I see more results in the next 5 months.
 
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