Need Help Quitting meth problem

[wish2beclean]

My meth usage is fairly limited. I can’t figure out the total amount I used because after each session/binge I’d flush the rest of the bag down the toilet because I was desperate to quit but ended up buying again within the next 2 days. I’d buy 5G bags (this is the lowest amt he sold) and only use .1 or .2 that’s how pathetic it was. So essentially just flushed money down the toilet over and over. I did that for a month. After this, my dealer went MIA. Great; i used it as an opportunity to leave it behind.

2-3 months go by but I can’t wake up a single day without fucking thinking about it.

Ended up looking for it and finding another guy 2 days ago and picked up. Now I’ve been fuckin awake for 48+ hours playing video games and jerking off until the skin on my hands is peeling off.

Why is it that I’ve gone out of my way to look for something that will give me nothing but destruction?

Why is my brain justifying its use because I’m able to concentrate better and for longer. The trade-off is stupid, so what’s making me rationalise it, I don’t get it.

I’ve quit cocaine before with success because over a time period the urges reduced and fighting them became easier but with meth it feels like it’s lodged itself into my psyche. “Yeah I don’t feel terrible, I feel okay actually, but imagine if I had some meth?”
I don’t care about the high… it’s just the feeling of undertaking any human endeavour and being yourself but X10 at it.

Unfortunately reminding myself how destructive this demonic substance is doesn’t do anything to help. Pretty sure I’ve had a psychotic episode already to be honest and a demon’s been following me around… sometimes it says things via Siri that Siri or AI would usually never say. Also get random laughing and music in my ears/head

Also whenever I use this shit I shed A LOT of hair. Like my bed just full of hair unless it’s actually the demon’s hair or he’s plucking it out of my skull or something.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Sorry to hear of this. Pretty sure that cocaine doesn't release so much dopamine as meth, I guess unless it's smoked, which is quite ephemeral. Happy I never did meth, but I can relate to feeling like crap from taking too many stimulants and not being able to stop.

It's just how our brains are made, we're not used to something like meth, biologically, so it can take us over. Yet there's a lot of good resources out there so that you can reclaim your life. Even just talking to someone about it. We can say things here on BL but it will usually be less effective than seeing a trained clinician in person. I can tell you really want to quit, and that's a fantastic step that many don't get to the same way.

Meth lasts forever, part of what makes it so dangerous. People can lose a lot of health by staying up too long, not eating or sleeping. Maybe afford a little kindness to yourself, like you don't have to keep doing this, that you can make the other, better choice. Good luck!

 

[thatmf]

It's a struggle for sure. I've known people who have dumped all of their stuff or broken pipes etc. Vowing never to get on it again. But they do. It's a compulsion I think to some extent. You have to be sure of the reasons why you want to quit and go from there. Make it sober for a week then two etc. Keep going, find your triggers, see a drug and alcohol counsellor if you can or even join a group. There's no right way to do it. Everybody is different. But it takes a huge load of willpower and definitely some failure. Not good about shedding hair. Probably messing with hormones or just not getting enough sleep. As for the laughing/musical hallucinations... they can occur if you're using larger doses or often...Good luck and all the best, keep us in the loop and if you have any questions ask away

 

[UrLonelyHomie]

I've struggled with meth abuse for many years. I've had periods of sobriety over the years and actually thought I had grew out of it for a while but somehow it always finds its way back into my life. At the current point I only do it every once in a blue moon so I guess I can say I beat the addiction?

Meth is such an impulsive drug. Even when I would binge and I would stop getting high after a while I was still using more and more even though I was getting nothing out of it. Meth acts on the brains reward pathway so much that even though YOU may not want anymore, your subconscious does

It's almost like a carnal desire that trumps even food and sex. You may not be in the mood to eat or have sex, so you don't! But with meth, if there's shards in the bag, your brain will tell you that you need to continue dosing even if you consciously don't want to, your primal subconscious will take over.

Some people handle this better than others, and some lose all control. It's the nature of the beast when it comes to stims, especially meth. Quitting is extremely difficult and requires more mind power than many of us have

 

[Jnowhere]

My meth usage is fairly limited. I can’t figure out the total amount I used because after each session/binge I’d flush the rest of the bag down the toilet because I was desperate to quit but ended up buying again within the next 2 days. I’d buy 5G bags (this is the lowest amt he sold) and only use .1 or .2 that’s how pathetic it was. So essentially just flushed money down the toilet over and over. I did that for a month. After this, my dealer went MIA. Great; i used it as an opportunity to leave it behind.

2-3 months go by but I can’t wake up a single day without fucking thinking about it.

Ended up looking for it and finding another guy 2 days ago and picked up. Now I’ve been fuckin awake for 48+ hours playing video games and jerking off until the skin on my hands is peeling off.

Why is it that I’ve gone out of my way to look for something that will give me nothing but destruction?

Why is my brain justifying its use because I’m able to concentrate better and for longer. The trade-off is stupid, so what’s making me rationalise it, I don’t get it.

I’ve quit cocaine before with success because over a time period the urges reduced and fighting them became easier but with meth it feels like it’s lodged itself into my psyche. “Yeah I don’t feel terrible, I feel okay actually, but imagine if I had some meth?”
I don’t care about the high… it’s just the feeling of undertaking any human endeavour and being yourself but X10 at it.

Unfortunately reminding myself how destructive this demonic substance is doesn’t do anything to help. Pretty sure I’ve had a psychotic episode already to be honest and a demon’s been following me around… sometimes it says things via Siri that Siri or AI would usually never say. Also get random laughing and music in my ears/head

Also whenever I use this shit I shed A LOT of hair. Like my bed just full of hair unless it’s actually the demon’s hair or he’s plucking it out of my skull or something.

Do you believe in demons? I certainly do. Things have calmed down, but my house was haunted, seriously it was. Actually a person who lived here had it follow them, I believe.

If a demonic entity is following you, just do your best to ignore it.

If you can just control your urges for meth, and ignore it, you might find your place being, back to normal.

If a demon has latched onto you, it will try to scare you, make you want to use and basically try to ruin your life.

Please try to not let it. These evil beings wish to destroy us, and ruin all that is good. It feeds off your misery.

If it is attached to you, ignore it and don't fight with it( verbally of course). Also, never mess with a ouiji board or any other occult shit.

If you are being 'stalked' by a demon, it will try to get you to use, ruin your life, and try to cause things to make you feel the urge to escape( aka drugs), and try tempting you into things you would normally never even think about doing.

Don't know about the hair shedding. But if it causing hair loss, try to think about that and the wasted money, when those urges to use occur.

I really hope and pray you can get off meth and stay off it. Best of luck

 

[Leprechaun]

My meth usage is fairly limited. I can’t figure out the total amount I used because after each session/binge I’d flush the rest of the bag down the toilet because I was desperate to quit but ended up buying again within the next 2 days. I’d buy 5G bags (this is the lowest amt he sold) and only use .1 or .2 that’s how pathetic it was. So essentially just flushed money down the toilet over and over. I did that for a month. After this, my dealer went MIA. Great; i used it as an opportunity to leave it behind.

2-3 months go by but I can’t wake up a single day without fucking thinking about it.

Ended up looking for it and finding another guy 2 days ago and picked up. Now I’ve been fuckin awake for 48+ hours playing video games and jerking off until the skin on my hands is peeling off.

Why is it that I’ve gone out of my way to look for something that will give me nothing but destruction?

Why is my brain justifying its use because I’m able to concentrate better and for longer. The trade-off is stupid, so what’s making me rationalise it, I don’t get it.

I’ve quit cocaine before with success because over a time period the urges reduced and fighting them became easier but with meth it feels like it’s lodged itself into my psyche. “Yeah I don’t feel terrible, I feel okay actually, but imagine if I had some meth?”
I don’t care about the high… it’s just the feeling of undertaking any human endeavour and being yourself but X10 at it.

Unfortunately reminding myself how destructive this demonic substance is doesn’t do anything to help. Pretty sure I’ve had a psychotic episode already to be honest and a demon’s been following me around… sometimes it says things via Siri that Siri or AI would usually never say. Also get random laughing and music in my ears/head

Also whenever I use this shit I shed A LOT of hair. Like my bed just full of hair unless it’s actually the demon’s hair or he’s plucking it out of my skull or something.

The fact you are having this realisation is the first step to stopping.

The rest involves actually finding the will to do the right thing in every moment.

That however, is a lifelong journey, to know peace and contentment through self actualisation.

 

[jhaze43]

My meth usage is fairly limited. I can’t figure out the total amount I used because after each session/binge I’d flush the rest of the bag down the toilet because I was desperate to quit but ended up buying again within the next 2 days. I’d buy 5G bags (this is the lowest amt he sold) and only use .1 or .2 that’s how pathetic it was. So essentially just flushed money down the toilet over and over. I did that for a month. After this, my dealer went MIA. Great; i used it as an opportunity to leave it behind.

2-3 months go by but I can’t wake up a single day without fucking thinking about it.

Ended up looking for it and finding another guy 2 days ago and picked up. Now I’ve been fuckin awake for 48+ hours playing video games and jerking off until the skin on my hands is peeling off.

Why is it that I’ve gone out of my way to look for something that will give me nothing but destruction?

Why is my brain justifying its use because I’m able to concentrate better and for longer. The trade-off is stupid, so what’s making me rationalise it, I don’t get it.

I’ve quit cocaine before with success because over a time period the urges reduced and fighting them became easier but with meth it feels like it’s lodged itself into my psyche. “Yeah I don’t feel terrible, I feel okay actually, but imagine if I had some meth?”
I don’t care about the high… it’s just the feeling of undertaking any human endeavour and being yourself but X10 at it.

Unfortunately reminding myself how destructive this demonic substance is doesn’t do anything to help. Pretty sure I’ve had a psychotic episode already to be honest and a demon’s been following me around… sometimes it says things via Siri that Siri or AI would usually never say. Also get random laughing and music in my ears/head

Also whenever I use this shit I shed A LOT of hair. Like my bed just full of hair unless it’s actually the demon’s hair or he’s plucking it out of my skull or something.

Ya I had the same quit 6 years ago, but always was still thinking about it then like a week ago I caved and went looking for it. Found a guy last night I met him and he hooked me up with this crazy good stuff. I smoked some and was just going to do the one bowl, but I did that and it got me crazy high and I remembered how much I loved it. After that I couldn’t put the pipe down. It has really sucked me back in. The crazy part though is I can’t get enough of it and I never want to stop again. It’s just crazy how quick it sucked me back in.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

I feel your pain man. You can easily look at my post history and see I’ve had my own struggles with stimulants and the most recent was a love affair with meth for a month. I got SS and rhabdo from my use. Fun fact about rhabdo is your hearts a muscle so go figure supposedly rhabdo can eat your heart but that’s just something a nurse told me idk if it’s true that it would target your heart since it’s your bodies way of getting nutrients it needs and I don’t see our bodies targeting our heart for survival in terms of damaging it as a trade off.

I digress, it took me going somewhere for a few weeks and somewhere I could focus on my mental health and what I want my life to look like/goals. That could be a BNB or a facility. Mine was a combination of both as it was a 3 million dollar house in the country with a small pond deer would come to daily and a huge deck overlooking it.

Mine had a psychiatric NP there though so it wasn’t a true BNB but it was only 4 of us clients there so it felt like a small vacation and could go fishing and whatnot and all the food I could eat specifically bacon lol…we got to cook for ourselves. Really was like living at a BnB and I had no curfew but couldn’t leave the property which was huge anyway so yeah..DM me if you have insurance and want a place like that. I’ll give you the details. They are new and can fit 18 people so I’m sure they have openings. Only 4 of us were there.

Yeah I like my bacon. Idk man. My situation is somewhat different because I have bipolar disorder, adhd, CPTSD, OSDD. So I had severe mental health symptoms to tackle so I can stay clean.

That said many I think get substance induced mood disorders from meth so maybe something like that could serve you for the first 30 days as substance induced mood disorders only last thirty days from last use apparently. I was trying to argue I didn’t have true bipolar disorder which is how I found that out. They can certainly help make you more comfortable with things like gabaergics r benzo drugs. They didn’t give me benzos but they did give me gabapentin which seems to help ease some of the edges when quitting stims.

What I can tell you is stim addiction is the most absolute hell I’ve ever encountered addiction wise. I’ve been addicted to H and opiates for years until 2014. Then H wasn’t around. I flirted with fentanyl a few times but it never seemed recreational to me I still am in awe of how the hell it replaced real heroin which is far superior in a high than fentanyl. I still just am dumbfounded by it and I tried fentanyl about ten times in the last ten years. Every time was not impressed or I OD’d.

That’s just to say that I’ve had my experiences with addictive drugs and nothing absolutely nothing has been
More addictive than stimulants to me. I met my match as AAers would say. And I’m not an AAer. I don’t care for it.

Anyway, please keep your head up above all. Meth has a certain way of causing crippling depression and I’ve never been more suicidal than when coming down off meth-quitting meth. You probably know how bad meth is for the brain in recreational doses. There seems to be some evidence that aerobic exercise can help to repair the brain from amphetamine abuse. Regular aerobic exercise like walkimg, running, bike riding, swimming things like that. That’s something I’m doing and keeping up with.

My understanding is it increases BDNF for one but there’s some other ways I read but don’t feel like digging up the paper right now. Maybe some others know offhand?

Anyway, that’s really my only good suggestion I can not encourage enough. Make yourself do 30 min regular aerobic exercise a day and see how you feel. I’m wondering it reverses the changes amphetamines make to curb cravings as well. I can’t recall for sure so I’m going to stop writing what I can’t remember without being certain.

It’s a place to start nonetheless and maybe talking to someone who would be understanding that you know locally who can hang. Probably not or you wouldn’t be here but thought I’d say just in case. What I mean is probably not someone who is clean.

I know I came here a lot because I didn’t have anyone locally I could talk to. Oh a good therapist can help greatly. That’s one thing I did/do have. If nothing else we will always be here. I’m not near as active as I used to be but that’s because drugs don’t encompass my life as they once did.

I’m a firm believer in the harm reduction model of addiction though so I’ll still be here. I still intend to use cannabis on holidays and kratom here and there. Maybe trip once or twice a year on psilocin.

Trust me man I was bad on stimulants and anyone here can attest to that. If I can do it you can too man. Not mitigating anything but trust me when I say the deck of cards were stacked against me in every way.

Note: I feel it goes without saying but getting good nutrient intake is critical to recovery. Make sure you are getting adequate protein and all your vitamins. Hydration…

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Do you believe in demons? I certainly do. Things have calmed down, but my house was haunted, seriously it was. Actually a person who lived here had it follow them, I believe.

If a demonic entity is following you, just do your best to ignore it.

If you can just control your urges for meth, and ignore it, you might find your place being, back to normal.

If a demon has latched onto you, it will try to scare you, make you want to use and basically try to ruin your life.

Please try to not let it. These evil beings wish to destroy us, and ruin all that is good. It feeds off your misery.

If it is attached to you, ignore it and don't fight with it( verbally of course). Also, never mess with a ouiji board or any other occult shit.

If you are being 'stalked' by a demon, it will try to get you to use, ruin your life, and try to cause things to make you feel the urge to escape( aka drugs), and try tempting you into things you would normally never even think about doing.

Don't know about the hair shedding. But if it causing hair loss, try to think about that and the wasted money, when those urges to use occur.

I really hope and pray you can get off meth and stay off it. Best of luck

When I was religious I used to think of addiction as a demon. It does feel that way at times. I mean it literally felt like I was possessed. I’d be like “no, I don’t want to do this” while driving to my dealer or the doctor to get stimulants. It causes devastating damage to one’s life and everyone around them. Yeah it could be personified as a demon easily.

Hell, juicewrld speaks of it as a demon a lot of times. Guess I’ll plug him since I already did. This is just one of them he talks of them as demons. Hands down the best one though. And he talks about us sticking together in the end “take my hand don’t give up” like we do on blue light.

 

[garygroundwork]

I feel your pain man. You can easily look at my post history and see I’ve had my own struggles with stimulants and the most recent was a love affair with meth for a month. I got SS and rhabdo from my use. Fun fact about rhabdo is your hearts a muscle so go figure supposedly rhabdo can eat your heart but that’s just something a nurse told me idk if it’s true that it would target your heart since it’s your bodies way of getting nutrients it needs and I don’t see our bodies targeting our heart for survival in terms of damaging it as a trade off.

I digress, it took me going somewhere for a few weeks and somewhere I could focus on my mental health and what I want my life to look like/goals. That could be a BNB or a facility. Mine was a combination of both as it was a 3 million dollar house in the country with a small pond deer would come to daily and a huge deck overlooking it.

Mine had a psychiatric NP there though so it wasn’t a true BNB but it was only 4 of us clients there so it felt like a small vacation and could go fishing and whatnot and all the food I could eat specifically bacon lol…we got to cook for ourselves. Really was like living at a BnB and I had no curfew but couldn’t leave the property which was huge anyway so yeah..DM me if you have insurance and want a place like that. I’ll give you the details. They are new and can fit 18 people so I’m sure they have openings. Only 4 of us were there.

Yeah I like my bacon. Idk man. My situation is somewhat different because I have bipolar disorder, adhd, CPTSD, OSDD. So I had severe mental health symptoms to tackle so I can stay clean.

That said many I think get substance induced mood disorders from meth so maybe something like that could serve you for the first 30 days as substance induced mood disorders only last thirty days from last use apparently. I was trying to argue I didn’t have true bipolar disorder which is how I found that out. They can certainly help make you more comfortable with things like gabaergics r benzo drugs. They didn’t give me benzos but they did give me gabapentin which seems to help ease some of the edges when quitting stims.

What I can tell you is stim addiction is the most absolute hell I’ve ever encountered addiction wise. I’ve been addicted to H and opiates for years until 2014. Then H wasn’t around. I flirted with fentanyl a few times but it never seemed recreational to me I still am in awe of how the hell it replaced real heroin which is far superior in a high than fentanyl. I still just am dumbfounded by it and I tried fentanyl about ten times in the last ten years. Every time was not impressed or I OD’d.

That’s just to say that I’ve had my experiences with addictive drugs and nothing absolutely nothing has been
More addictive than stimulants to me. I met my match as AAers would say. And I’m not an AAer. I don’t care for it.

Anyway, please keep your head up above all. Meth has a certain way of causing crippling depression and I’ve never been more suicidal than when coming down off meth-quitting meth. You probably know how bad meth is for the brain in recreational doses. There seems to be some evidence that aerobic exercise can help to repair the brain from amphetamine abuse. Regular aerobic exercise like walkimg, running, bike riding, swimming things like that. That’s something I’m doing and keeping up with.

My understanding is it increases BDNF for one but there’s some other ways I read but don’t feel like digging up the paper right now. Maybe some others know offhand?

Anyway, that’s really my only good suggestion I can not encourage enough. Make yourself do 30 min regular aerobic exercise a day and see how you feel. I’m wondering it reverses the changes amphetamines make to curb cravings as well. I can’t recall for sure so I’m going to stop writing what I can’t remember without being certain.

It’s a place to start nonetheless and maybe talking to someone who would be understanding that you know locally who can hang. Probably not or you wouldn’t be here but thought I’d say just in case. What I mean is probably not someone who is clean.

I know I came here a lot because I didn’t have anyone locally I could talk to. Oh a good therapist can help greatly. That’s one thing I did/do have. If nothing else we will always be here. I’m not near as active as I used to be but that’s because drugs don’t encompass my life as they once did.

I’m a firm believer in the harm reduction model of addiction though so I’ll still be here. I still intend to use cannabis on holidays and kratom here and there. Maybe trip once or twice a year on psilocin.

Trust me man I was bad on stimulants and anyone here can attest to that. If I can do it you can too man. Not mitigating anything but trust me when I say the deck of cards were stacked against me in every way.

Note: I feel it goes without saying but getting good nutrient intake is critical to recovery. Make sure you are getting adequate protein and all your vitamins. Hydration…

question...

are you on any add meds now or you quit all stims?

 

[Juicewrldfan]

question...

are you on any add meds now or you quit all stims?

I did have a script post inpatient but did not abuse it after stabilizing on bipolar meds. That said I started reading more about free radicals and down rabbit holes about methylene blue, aging and what have you, discussed the risk benefit with my therapist and just wasn’t worth staying with. Just if my stars were to align in some way it could quickly go south.So no i don’t take them prescribed or otherwise or have the prescription even anymore as we turned it into the pharmacy.

What made my prescription manageable was being on a therapeutic dose of lithium and an AP. Kinda takes the fun out of them while still arguably effective at treating symptoms. Turns out having to drugs that decrease dopamine when too high takes the fun out of the former. The problem is if I have a day where everything is going wrong and the stars aligned I get concerned I could overpower the bipolar meds if I took enough of prescribed meds.

So no, I came to the conclusion of most on BL eventually do , stims just aren’t worth it. Obviously not all, but just feel like most of us come to that conclusion. Clearly one size doesn’t fit all sorta speak.

 

[garygroundwork]

I did have a script post inpatient but did not abuse it after stabilizing on bipolar meds. That said I started reading more about free radicals and down rabbit holes about methylene blue, aging and what have you, discussed the risk benefit with my therapist and just wasn’t worth staying with. Just if my stars were to align in some way it could quickly go south.So no i don’t take them prescribed or otherwise or have the prescription even anymore as we turned it into the pharmacy.

What made my prescription manageable was being on a therapeutic dose of lithium and an AP. Kinda takes the fun out of them while still arguably effective at treating symptoms. Turns out having to drugs that decrease dopamine when too high takes the fun out of the former. The problem is if I have a day where everything is going wrong and the stars aligned I get concerned I could overpower the bipolar meds if I took enough of prescribed meds.

So no, I came to the conclusion of most on BL eventually do , stims just aren’t worth it. Obviously not all, but just feel like most of us come to that conclusion. Clearly one size doesn’t fit all sorta speak.

How long did u have depression for after quitting (depression from stopping)?

How long till the cravings eased?

 

[Juicewrldfan]

How long did u have depression for after quitting (depression from stopping)?

How long till the cravings eased?

For me it would vary but usually about 3-4 days. First day in the worst but can do things to help ease the suffering. Force myself to do hobbies like gaming I used to enjoy and well I have gabapentin which helps a lot with stimulant cessation ime.

Sleeping and eating well helps a lot but mostly it’s just that. Resting and eating well for a few days binging Netflix.

That’s just my experience. Sometimes after quitting though I turn manic so I don’t get the depression but often times i did. Sorry man that’s the most I can really say about that part. This is after binging off and on for a year or so but a couple times a month.

Now if one were using every day for a year I’d imagine it would take much longer. There is hope though. The brain still repairs just requires more time.

And aerobic exercise is so underrated in drug and alcohol treatment. It really should be prescribed because how much it helps and helps to repair the brain I’m bipolar disorder and amphetamine use.

Keep in mind that they literally use D-amphetamine to study mania from bipolar disorder in rats because it is likely the closest to natural mania. So what works for bipolar disorder ime works for amphetamine abuse. That’s my anecdotal experience and theory.

Above all keep your head up think of the future without being dependent on stims.
Hope is so important. I can’t say that enough.

***Please note: There is some albeit limited evidence that vyvanse has been successfully used to help treat meth addiction. Take that for what it’s worth as I abused it and loved it but I imagine it can work for some and is better than meth or street amphetamines. It’s easy to find the studies but they looked like a small sample size so idk how great the study is

 

[crazyhairman]

Quit while you're ahead bud. It's been oh gee 17 years since I used. Thought about it every day for a few months, then every other day for the next year. Then every week for the next year. And of course everyone knows everyone else so you see people who you know can get it. It sucks to come off of.
100 %mental mind fuck.

Honestly as crazy as it sounds The only way I was able to get off of the meth was by replacing it with other party drugs. Like x was just speed lite to me , so I didn't feel as bad using that.

Then I later got into pharmaceuticals. But I never returned to that mental cat and mouse game of meth.

That's low key my worst fear would be if somebody forced me to use meth again. I didn't even enjoy the high. I'm a downer's person. I love sleeping lol. But it had such a powerful hold mentally, it creeps in on mental health days.

What works for me may not work for other folks but I literally just quit cold turkey one day and never went back. Time helps heal a lot of things. You can put me in a room and use dope around me and I wouldn't have the slightest urge to use. It took about 8 years to get to that point.

The only one that can save you IS you. It sucks but you just have to not use. It's an everyday battle. And the longer you go the harder and longer it lasts. Your goal is two years off of it. Use anything else if you want but not that. You know yourself better than anyone. It gets better with time. Don't beat yourself up over it , just get it done.

Future you will thank you.

 

[thatmf]

Quit while you're ahead bud. It's been oh gee 17 years since I used. Thought about it every day for a few months, then every other day for the next year. Then every week for the next year. And of course everyone knows everyone else so you see people who you know can get it. It sucks to come off of.
100 %mental mind fuck.

Honestly as crazy as it sounds The only way I was able to get off of the meth was by replacing it with other party drugs. Like x was just speed lite to me , so I didn't feel as bad using that.

Then I later got into pharmaceuticals. But I never returned to that mental cat and mouse game of meth.

That's low key my worst fear would be if somebody forced me to use meth again. I didn't even enjoy the high. I'm a downer's person. I love sleeping lol. But it had such a powerful hold mentally, it creeps in on mental health days.

What works for me may not work for other folks but I literally just quit cold turkey one day and never went back. Time helps heal a lot of things. You can put me in a room and use dope around me and I wouldn't have the slightest urge to use. It took about 8 years to get to that point.

The only one that can save you IS you. It sucks but you just have to not use. It's an everyday battle. And the longer you go the harder and longer it lasts. Your goal is two years off of it. Use anything else if you want but not that. You know yourself better than anyone. It gets better with time. Don't beat yourself up over it , just get it done.

Future you will thank you.

100% ! I had a dream last week where I was convinced to use with a few old friends (whom I miss dearly but since they're very regular users we haven't caught up in a very long time). In said dream, the cops came and I had like half a gram on me went to prison etc.

I've been clean for 20 months now and staying that way. And yes I agree, cold turkey is the only way I managed to quit. I did attempt to substitute but the cravings were still really bad. There's things you can do which help like exercise. But it just comes down to willpower and sticking through the bad days.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

You have to be sure of the reasons why you want to quit and go from there.

I would add to that, be sure of the reasons why you want to use. Because that's what's gonna keep you going back to it.

 

[thatmf]

I would add to that, be sure of the reasons why you want to use. Because that's what's gonna keep you going back to it.

That too. Definitely.

 

[Methamphetanonymous]

I did have a script post inpatient but did not abuse it after stabilizing on bipolar meds. That said I started reading more about free radicals and down rabbit holes about methylene blue, aging and what have you, discussed the risk benefit with my therapist and just wasn’t worth staying with. Just if my stars were to align in some way it could quickly go south.So no i don’t take them prescribed or otherwise or have the prescription even anymore as we turned it into the pharmacy.

What made my prescription manageable was being on a therapeutic dose of lithium and an AP. Kinda takes the fun out of them while still arguably effective at treating symptoms. Turns out having to drugs that decrease dopamine when too high takes the fun out of the former. The problem is if I have a day where everything is going wrong and the stars aligned I get concerned I could overpower the bipolar meds if I took enough of prescribed meds.

So no, I came to the conclusion of most on BL eventually do , stims just aren’t worth it. Obviously not all, but just feel like most of us come to that conclusion. Clearly one size doesn’t fit all sorta speak.

Dude I remember you from when I first joined this summer. I'm so fucking happy to read this man.

What's fucked is how blind being in the middle of it in the early stages can make you. At that time, I read your comments and felt how lost and uncertain you were feeling. I remember seeing that and thinking about how I didn't want to be that far gone, and that I was lucky I had a good grasp on it and only had used for a couple of months.

Now I see that you were the one closer to freedom, and I was so far gone that I had fooled myself into thinking I was fine, I was different, I studied the drug and have seen and written about what it's capable of.

Funny timing: on day one of my third attempt at getting it out of my life with my identity still intact. I'm afraid, and I feel lost and uncertain. I feel the way that I imagined you must've felt back then, but I'm going to keep fighting even if it scares me.

I hope I'm as strong as you.

 

[PapiChulo2842]

You sound like you really want to quit. I did not see anyone suggest establishing a support group to keep you honest. You and only You can quit, but maybe finding someone in your life who doesnt use drugs that is willing to keep a close eye on you, to prop you up on those dark days, and call you on your bullshit to keep you headed in the right direction.
I have struggled with Stims my whole life. It ended my marriage, my employment, my ability to interact with my child. I lost my Drivers License, I have no money, and yet I still choose to use. I have six teeth left in my head.
I am educated, intelligent, and street smart.
I finally found a girl who absolutely loves me for just being me-and I ruined that too. All because of meth.
Im telling you all this because I want you to think long and hard, and maybe use me as your motivation to quit. Its not something you can get over in thirty days. But if you really want it, you can get over it. I completely understand about the demons too. They had me speaking in tongues and saying shit to the ones I hold dear, for no apparent reason. Find someone to help you. Save yourself now and get that burden off your back. I would never wish this on anyone.

 

[Methamphetanonymous]

You sound like you really want to quit. I did not see anyone suggest establishing a support group to keep you honest. You and only You can quit, but maybe finding someone in your life who doesnt use drugs that is willing to keep a close eye on you, to prop you up on those dark days, and call you on your bullshit to keep you headed in the right direction.
I have struggled with Stims my whole life. It ended my marriage, my employment, my ability to interact with my child. I lost my Drivers License, I have no money, and yet I still choose to use. I have six teeth left in my head.
I am educated, intelligent, and street smart.
I finally found a girl who absolutely loves me for just being me-and I ruined that too. All because of meth.
Im telling you all this because I want you to think long and hard, and maybe use me as your motivation to quit. Its not something you can get over in thirty days. But if you really want it, you can get over it. I completely understand about the demons too. They had me speaking in tongues and saying shit to the ones I hold dear, for no apparent reason. Find someone to help you. Save yourself now and get that burden off your back. I would never wish this on anyone.

I appreciate it, I've got my wife who I have been able to have open communication with during this process and keeps me from staying too long off the wagon

I'm only gonna be able to do what I am capable of doing. I've gotten advice and warnings throughout this entire addiction that I was either able to heed or that I walked right into despite it. But I'll try again and again until it works, 30 days, 100, a year whatever it takes

You take care