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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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Nate4268 said:
Wanted to give a positive update. I'm about 12 months off. And am beginning to feel like I'm returning back to a life I used to live. I felt pretty good on Invega after about 6 months. The problem was I had a brain burn sensation up until around 10 1/2 months where I recognized I was having trouble peeing. Turns out I had a UTI which I took antibiotics for, and I'm almost certain the inflammation was from the UTI because it has been healing ever since I took them. So, get checked for a UTI if you have any urinary symptoms. It even could be silent which mine was for the most part.

Overall, I feel like life is returning and I'm perceiving many new things. You can trust your brain to heal as well as your body to get rid of whatever chemical is in it after a certain amount of time. I have deep emotions, basically no anhedonia, no insomnia, no akathisia, no anxiety, chest pain and nerve pain are no longer a problem. Some symptoms I thought would never change, but I had hope in the back of mind. Some of this hope was from logical reasoning because of this site showing most people recover. I checked through every forum, it felt sort of like a rollercoaster. But I felt it was necessary to look through these because this is my body and my life. I researched and found a high enough percentage recovered to confirm to me that most of my worry was anxiety induced and from symptoms like anhedonia and blunting.

There were moments where I felt hopeless, but that only made me more grateful for the moments I had hope and faith. Maybe some of you experience hope in small amounts. I was very grateful for this hope as well as many other things. I tried to practice gratefulness for what I had.
A routine is what kept me well adjusted, I would go out to restaurants with my family and eat a dessert almost all the time the first couple months because it was the only thing I could feel some dopamine. (I took this as, a cheat code that gives you something. It won't be perfect but it is something. Does a shower give you that, a sauna, a snack, crying, etc.) I would take walks almost every day.

I want to let you know if you have a hatred or bitterness, it will turn around. I had moments that because of the amount of pain I was in I could not stop going back to hatred. I had envy for others and felt like I would rather be born as anyone else at some points. I hated my parents. I hated my doctors. I knew I hated that I hated them, because I wanted to love them. It was difficult. And I do feel like acceptance and forgiving was a journey. I'm not perfect at it, but I love my parents. My mom showed me lots of caring along this journey, but I noticed it was hard for her with the amount of constant struggle I was going through. If you need support, splitting it between different people can be good because it is important you get this support.

You also may not be treated with the most respect you think you deserve. Everyone is living their own life, and be grateful for the people who do listen and do care. They are very important. They showed me something special about human nature. I did not feel like I was getting enough for my situation though. There was a lot of struggle and sometimes nothing pulled me out of the struggle. I made it through and so can you.

What I will say is that I felt I had over 20-30+ symptoms that all went away. If you have a symptom and think it won't go away it will.

I also gained hope and faith from god and wrote something to identify my struggle and others.
  1. Maybe there is a god that sees your struggle. He has you struggle now to make you better in some other time. I believe your struggle isn't for nothing. Honestly. I experienced too much in my past to give up on god. I experienced miracles in my past. I cannot just forget. It is like we have experienced such a low, but we have experienced such highs in our lives. It is possible for us to feel those highs for some reason. Even if we do become low. The highs become deluded and turned into something we might not remember. But we know that they happened. Somehow they happened. And that is a miracle. That in our past we experienced these highs. Maybe out of that we can pull some faith into a god. We got to live in a life with these highs even if it is temporary. That is a miracle in itself. He could fix anything if he wanted. He has plans for you and me possibly. All one big mystery. Humans, Earth, The Universe. Formed out of nothing.
Feel free to message me anytime.
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odd question do u see beauty in life?
 
I'm on the fourth half life of Invega , approximately how low do my Invega levels have to be to start noticing improvements because honestly I don't feel better
 
fenec said:
what was your dose of haldol? and risperdal? I received 4 injections of haldol at 234 mg I have 1 year of rest I am not yet 100% libido emotions, but I hope it will be soon
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My dose of haldol was 10 mg I think and not sure on the risperdal, but it was oral liquid form.
 
Yeeeeep I think the tinyhome thing is a scam. I got images that don't match the floor plans they sent me. I'm not that dumb, you can't get much past me. The only reason I fell for a scam once was that I was manic.
 
TonyTonyChopper said:
I'm on the fourth half life of Invega , approximately how low do my Invega levels have to be to start noticing improvements because honestly I don't feel better
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Did some math with a rough estimate that the injection site releases 3.2%(this alone is based off some loose assumptions of mine, im trying to come to a more concrete figure) of the drug a day..you should have around 30mg left in your muscle with a release of about 1mg a day..which is about 20% of the typically administered daily dosage..keep in mind it can take some time for receptors to recycle..90 days is what it takes to see significant renual of receptors from what ive read, but im not entirely sure how true that is. Im sure it depends on diet, supplements and life style..but if im right id be willing to assume youd feel better in 3 months, by how much, im not sure. Alot of people say not to expect signifcant recovey within the first 7 months...it would make sense that you'd feel somewhat better in 3 months since alot of people report feeling better to some significant degree around the 9 month period from what ive read. I'd say it's safe to assume 1mg a day isn't going to have a high affect on existing or new receptors..In another half life you'll have only .05mg and another you'll have 0.025mg which seems like quite a negligible amount.

I'll admit I'm no mathwizz I already see some things wrong with how I'm calculating, but I'm just trying to get a ball park estimate. I plan on making a calculator that's more accurate.

How do you feel compared to a few months ago?
 
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blueheart666 said:
I still will say the same. No one is %100 truly recovered unless they can get high off weed and drunk off beer again. If they can feel those emotions after being recovered. Then they truly did heal %100.
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Not the most reliable marker of sucess. I could still get high on weed when i was on invega and abilify and i could get drunk no problem on abilify. I was nowhere near recovered on that shit
 
blueheart666 said:
I still will say the same. No one is %100 truly recovered unless they can get high off weed and drunk off beer again. If they can feel those emotions after being recovered. Then they truly did heal %100.
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I can still get high and drunk and I still have sexual dysfunction and emotional blunting, that's a poor metric. But I do have PSSD. I think I recoverd from Invega, but not Prozac yet.

People do recover, I watched it happen.
 
InvegaAnon said:
I can still get high and drunk and I still have sexual dysfunction and emotional blunting, that's a poor metric. But I do have PSSD. I think I recoverd from Invega, but not Prozac yet.

People do recover, I watched it happen.
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I also feel the alcohol and the last time I smoked 3 lattes of cannabis its my touch I laughed a lot, libido question the orgasms are almost normal but the excitement is still not like before but I hope that it will come back fully as kaatrina said that it took her 1.5 to 2 years to regain her libido at 100%
 
blueheart666 said:
If people actually healed then they would comeback to bluelight.org and let us all know they healed but no one does. Which is why everyone decides to dissappear.
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Slowed passage of time improves, the first 8 months seemed like 500+ years to me, but now the passage is near normal, so one month is nothing compared to what it was before, so disappearing for a year is also like nothing.

I do not understand why someone wouldn't say they fully recovered, but one of the possible reasons could be:
- they recovered fully but forgot about Bluelight because it reminds them of all this and they don't know what to do with that bad memory
- are recovered to a some point and are waiting for a full recovery
- killed themselves
- recovered enough to be occupied with too many things, so they forgot
- forgot their account password
 
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Who else's sleep is affected cause of invega? Who always wakes up out of there sleep alot of times a night and is difficult to fall asleep again after? And how long did it take for your sleep to improve after invega?
 
This is one of the worst things that could happen to someone. All this started because I smoked weed and was religious, so didn’t realize the voices were some type of psychosis/schizophrenia symptoms. I just wish I had googled “hearing voices after smoking marijuana” or was already an Atheist so I would’ve thought wtf is going on?
 
DrZaius1 said:
This is one of the worst things that could happen to someone. All this started because I smoked weed and was religious, so didn’t realize the voices were some type of psychosis/schizophrenia symptoms. I just wish I had googled “hearing voices after smoking marijuana” or was already an Atheist so I would’ve thought wtf is going on?
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yeah weed is evil and not for some people like us. I personally did not hear voices i just had delusions but I didn't put two and two together and ruled out that it was the weed doing this to me. No matter how much we blame ourselves or think about the what ifs , nothing can change the past all we can do is move forward with our healed and repaired brains which will happen soon I'm sure of it!
 
blueheart666 said:
Where is everyone that supposedly healed %100? Why didn't they ever comeback to bluelight.org to keep our spirit alive? Why don't they let us know we can heal?
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They do once in a while. paranoidandroid is around, Kaatrina posts once in a while but she's a mom now. BigSmoke420 posted last year and he's around on Bluelight in general, just not here.
 
Laughing a lot today. I remembered the time I was taking a bus tour of my college town and me and some other students saw two stray dogs running with each other and someone said "They're a couple!" and I just thought that was really funny.

I had a little niacin last night. If that stuff just helps with the emotional blunting and nothing else, I'll keep taking it.
 
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blueheart666 said:
Where is everyone that supposedly healed %100? Why didn't they ever comeback to bluelight.org to keep our spirit alive? Why don't they let us know we can heal?
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lol you want everyone who healed to keep on using this site to remind them of this horrible experience . As someone who went through all the versions of this thread, the ones that heal leave a post or two about healing then dissapear forever. Very few come back, heck Nate came back yesterday to tell us he recovered. You clearly don't want to believe them but thats on you not on the ones who recovered.
 
who said anything about them being scared? i gurantee and bet $100 that if you healed you wouldn't stay on this site after you've healed, you would rather enjoy your new life
 
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