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Recovery Clean and on Auto-pilot

Hey Jess. I've read through your whole thread. Just wanted you to know I'm 5 days "clean" off a 27 day crack/H bender (I say "clean" as I'm taking low dose subutex to avoid withdrawal) and your strength in persisting through the depression and continuing to fight even though you keep reporting that you are experiencing no joy has made me feel a lot more determined in regards to my own shitty mental state at the moment. Perseverance is key. I really hope you feel better soon.
 
@JessTD ,Hey girl You are amazing!! I do not envie you to NEED to be exercising in this FLA heat 8(8(, But it will Help, you feel better quicker! How is your BP ?? If you need to go on Meds to help with that ? Maybe God is doing for you what you cannot do for yourself ? clonidine , is excellent on label Blood pressure med, and also a great Opiate withdrawal, and Paws Comfort Drug ??
Hang in there, you got this, Time takes Time and I have not met one Addict that has any Patience?? It does not go well with our disease of MORE :love::love:
I as well have been around this Hamster cage for a very long time, I went o my first AA meeting in 1983 Ouch !! I practice abstinence to my DOC, Alcohol, Cocaine, But I Have the disease of Addiction , not to One substance, I am Wired different people who are not this way, so stay here, We all Love, care about , and UNDERSTAND YOU ❤
Trust me on this : If you don't Got This, You DON"T get it .....Ever. I have bben marrie dto a civilian for 28 years , she is glad I am sober, and clean, but has no Clue to what my life and mind are like Lol LOl
All is well - ICE
 
Agree with what has been said above!! Get to your GP and have a test for your BP and see what they advise! It is much better to have some one with experience, and training with this , than a living and caring Parent !!
 
Hope you're feeling better Jess, I too found it hard after 2 weeks and have since relapsed 3 times so you're doing good. I also ramble to strangers on BL, it helps though and at least there's not the judgement u get elsewhere x
 
JessTD said:
So I've recently quit opioids cold Turkey and I think it's been a little over 2 weeks without them. I no longer have any really physical symptoms but I feel like a robot. I feel no joy. I hardly speak. It's like pulling teeth to interact with me. I feel in this complete "blah" state and I'm worried it's going to effect my relationships. I just want to be normal and I hate that I'm like this. I hate that this thing moved into my brain when I was 15 and I've been fighting it ever since. Why can't I just be normal? Where would I be in life by now if I had never done all the drugs?

I don't even know what I'm talking about at this point 😔
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You should go on suboxone. That is how most addicts relapse. That feeling can last up to a year. At least it did for me, before I went on suboxone.
 
Jabberwocky said:
riiiooooo!!! glad to see you back in here. how are you? and jess, how are you?
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Wow. 4 years. Time really flies. I don't know if anyone's looking but I just wanted to let yall know. I didn't relapse. I just got a job and stayed in my relationship (my partner and I have been together for almost 6 years now) and he and I put our funds together and were finally able to get our own place that we've been in for 3 years now. Not long after my last post here, I made the decision to get on maintenence meds because the PAWS was just brutal and it was really hard for me to get through work and life in the state I was in and I was scared I would relapse as a result. I've been going to a clinic since we moved into our house so like 3 years now? And I'm on one of the lowest doses in the place. I haven't relapsed. Not once. It hasn't even been a thought. My parents moved to Georgia once I finally moved out with my kids and our relationship got 1000% better. We hardly ever fight or even disagree anymore. I noticed other people in recovery came on throughout this thread to talk and not be alone during withdrawal. It's easier when we feel like there's someone doing it with us, ya know? And I wanted u to know that it really does get better. I'm really proud of where I am now and society as a whole is much more understanding of addiction than it used to be.

There's hope for you. Truly. Time really can heal these wounds and I'm still here. I'm still here.
 
JessTD said:
Wow. 4 years. Time really flies. I don't know if anyone's looking but I just wanted to let yall know. I didn't relapse. I just got a job and stayed in my relationship (my partner and I have been together for almost 6 years now) and he and I put our funds together and were finally able to get our own place that we've been in for 3 years now. Not long after my last post here, I made the decision to get on maintenence meds because the PAWS was just brutal and it was really hard for me to get through work and life in the state I was in and I was scared I would relapse as a result. I've been going to a clinic since we moved into our house so like 3 years now? And I'm on one of the lowest doses in the place. I haven't relapsed. Not once. It hasn't even been a thought. My parents moved to Georgia once I finally moved out with my kids and our relationship got 1000% better. We hardly ever fight or even disagree anymore. I noticed other people in recovery came on throughout this thread to talk and not be alone during withdrawal. It's easier when we feel like there's someone doing it with us, ya know? And I wanted u to know that it really does get better. I'm really proud of where I am now and society as a whole is much more understanding of addiction than it used to be.

There's hope for you. Truly. Time really can heal these wounds and I'm still here. I'm still here.
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That's really awesome you are doing so well and that you checked back in. Life truly can get better, it just takes a lot of hard work and effort on our part.
 
Wow Girl!!! You are a Rock Star!!
This shit we call life is Very hard, and you are killing it!
You give me such hope to tame then Kill this beast ( addiction) well the tame will be taper (I AM SO AFRAID OF CT WITHDRAWALS)
I know I was born with the disease of addiction and will die with it. But I can make choices and take actions that give me daily reprieves!

Thank you for your Honesty and for coming back on with HOPE and Success !!!
 
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