Depression Just Struggling with Everything…

[I'm-Still-Alive]

So, this is more a vent than anything. I’m struggling with everything in my life right now. I’m constantly exhausted, depressed, (TMI) bleeding for months on end, hormones all out of wack. I’m just done. I want to be normal. I’m fucking 25. Why can’t this be normal? Or if I’m gonna deal with all this, let me be high? Fuck. I’m so sick of this. I just don’t want to keep on going like this.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear this. Do you think the main problem is because of substances? It may not seem like it, but 25 is pretty young. There's still a lot of room to change for the better. What would you like to have happen? Could you expand a bit on your situation?

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear this. Do you think the main problem is because of substances? It may not seem like it, but 25 is pretty young. There's still a lot of room to change for the better. What would you like to have happen? Could you expand a bit on your situation?

I haven’t used anything since October, as much as I’d like to… forced sobriety basically. I have had a lot of medical things come up, torn ACL, broken ankle, gallbladder removal, unknown issues with pelvic/uterine/ovarian things, and my depression has been in full swing. I lost my job, due to claims that I broke client confidentiality (they won’t tell me what client, when, what happened, etc.) so I’ve been even more depressed. I lost the most amazing job I’d ever had, I was so happy, proud, etc. I was helping people. And now I’m in a part time position where I can’t pay my bills but my boyfriend makes too much for us to get any assistance programs. So we’re just fucked. I’ve applied to over 100+ jobs and been denied to most.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Might be good to write down priorities, then work on things one at a time. That's what I do, anyways.

I think your health is most important. Without that, not much else can be done.

Do you have famly or friends to lean on? Would it help to get a therapist? Just so you're not so alone at least. Sounds like your boyfriend might be able to help.

I know times are stressful. They are for me too. But I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, cliche as it sounds.

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

Might be good to write down priorities, then work on things one at a time. That's what I do, anyways.

I think your health is most important. Without that, not much else can be done.

Do you have famly or friends to lean on? Would it help to get a therapist? Just so you're not so alone at least. Sounds like your boyfriend might be able to help.

I know times are stressful. They are for me too. But I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, cliche as it sounds.

Unfortunately, I've been attempting to get a mental health therapist for over a month now and cannot get one to call me back. It's been disheartening at best and even more depressing/suicidal inducing at worst. And no, friends are nonexistent. The ones I had have disappeared since I entered this relationship. Family is "too far away" for me and my boyfriend to visit, so I'm just surrounded by him and his family. I have no one. I don't know. It's depressing. And medically, I just want to be better. I'm sick of being in pain and not knowing why. It's fucking annoying, frustrating, depressing. I've had medical shit since I was a kid. I'm done. I want to just get high and not feel anything. At least then I wouldn't be in this much fucking pain.

 

[deficiT]

This does sound like a struggle. I'm sorry you're going through it. I also had a rough couple years, from losing a loved one suddenly, to unemployment, a horrible injury and major surgery, to homelessness, and everything in between, it's been awful. I'm happy to say that some of these things are really starting to improve for me, but it took an awful lot of persistence on my part. I truly hope that you are able to stay positive and keep your head up, keep moving forward and maybe you'll start figuring out what actions you need to take to make improvements in your life. Wishing you the best Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

This does sound like a struggle. I'm sorry you're going through it. I also had a rough couple years, from losing a loved one suddenly, to unemployment, a horrible injury and major surgery, to homelessness, and everything in between, it's been awful. I'm happy to say that some of these things are really starting to improve for me, but it took an awful lot of persistence on my part. I truly hope that you are able to stay positive and keep your head up, keep moving forward and maybe you'll start figuring out what actions you need to take to make improvements in your life. Wishing you the best Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a rough go of things, and it sounds like you’ve been incredibly strong through it all. I hope it continues to just get better for you! Sending hugs. And thank you, I appreciate the offer. I may take you up on that. It’s hard not having many people to really talk to.

 

[kiely]

I'm having a real tough time right now with it all.

Everything is such an obstacle. It hurts and it is hard to understand.

I try I try I try.

Everyone is so fake and paranoid and snooty in the social media world.

FB f's you up so much and don't even loose a password anymore for anything. Anything.

I can't handle all of this anymore. Everybody is so scared that someone is out to get them.

I do good IRL. I have my small circle of good and close friends outside there and close

and I have a community.

It's such a challenge to reach out anymore. I'm good.

The internet seems too paranoid. I don't know what to do anymore and I promise you and I swear

to God I am fukcing crying right now. Such paranoia everywhere.

I just want everything to go alright and it never does.

It's just the nature of it the life thing called life.

I am just happy in my simple life anymore and I just can't reach out anymore.

I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm sobbing.

Why can't I just make it right and stay where I am.

Social media is just tired and terrified of each other and I have had it.

Why bother when I have it all right here living a life and trying to.

I try and try and it helps and is all that can be done in one life or life time.

Why bother reaching out. Everyone's a critic and can't take criticism.

And I just want a simple life and I have all the social I need I guess.

Had. It's a hard knock life so I think I will have to just have this . . . . as in I got it somehow . . . here while I try to retreat back

to my simple world and my simple life in my simple community that I have made for myself

and my IRL existence.

It's to brutal out there in the social world anymore. I will do just fine just fine in my little

world and what is all I have left.

We all need each other. It is important to have contact with others. And the one that I still have

will be what is left in my world forever. My simple but best life I have for myself.

I always just wanted to help out and boost and just be kind.

Just do the best that I can. Now.

It's overwhelming and I chose to go with simple. It still never works. Because nothing does really.

But I am going to make it happen. It's all I have now. It's all that is left right now.

Everything is rearranged and fragmented and disarrayed and complicated

and difficult and confusing. I still will figure out a way. Somehow. Some way

and maybe sometime everything will work out and be just perfect and great

somehow and some day !

Have a Good Day. when ever it helps. i'm so f'd up. bubs. by.

 

[kiely]

I guess I should focus on what I do and my family. I am taking care of my family. Together too.

I have to look out for them all. And then I should learn to focus on spelling correctly to help out and to give me a purpose and to keep my mind healthy and busy

and to take care.

I might not be able to function anymore but there will just be some things that someone will always be able to do.

It gets all complicated at times, doesn't it !!!!!!!! Well I say it's so. Everything just hurts. It just hurts and is just painful.

We all want to feel better and maybe we will. Maybe we all have to figure out that it is what we have to do.

This thing. This life. It's a blink and a journey and done before we know it.

YOLO. It won't last though. Try to make it count.

When you blink it can be over and done.

Today is over. When it gets worse just try.

 

[kiely]

And I can't even get up now. It's just awful.

But I'm going to anyway. Bye.

I have to walk. I'm serious. I will wear glasses.

Oh Lordeth help me stop it. I'm not well. .. .

My head hurts and I'm depressed.

and it only gets worse. Right !

Be well. Be well. Be well. Take care.

I try too. Umm don't drink and drive either.

 

[kiely]

Everything.