Angry Fuck the Mental Health System

I'm-Still-Alive

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
155
Location
New York
I have been calling nearly everyday to get into a mental health provider locally for mental health counseling, and all they do is say, "Okay, let me take your name and date of birth and someone will call you back." I trust that someone fucking will and do, but NO ONE FUCKING HAS! I am so depressed, so anxious, so sick of life, and I just want it all to end. Why? Why does it have to be this way? And otherwise, I have to pay out of pocket. Which I have $23.64 in my fucking bank account right now, so... There's no therapist around here that will take me with that amount of money. I don't have the resources. I literally used to get people connected to mental health counselors for a living, and it was just as frustrating. I hated the mental health system then and I still hate it. Unless I literally try to end my life and end up hospitalized, I can't do anything or unless I pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket, which I don't fucking have. I'm broke, I'm exhausted. I can't take this anymore. I told the person today I was willing to sit on hold, but they said the person who schedules for my location is out of the office today!!! What the fuck? Why? Am I just destined to suffer? Go fuck myself? Cool. Alright. Thanks.
 
Try a physiatrist first and have them diagnos you with a mental health problem.
Q
 
For what it's worth I feel your pain. Public mental health services in my city are practically non-existent. I have been in crisis before and could get no help. Every doctor gives out the same list of sliding scale private counselors, which are really just student clinics with low skilled therapists. Hospitals won't help you unless someone other than you calls in and says you're suicidal, or you make an attempt. Then they just put you in the psych ward for the customary number of days, drug you, and send you on your way with some basic outpatient care. The hospital psychiatrists in my city are SHIT. The last one I saw years ago was a bloated whale who gave me all of 10 minutes of her time before Rx'ing me an SSRI.

That said... if you actually have a hotline you can call that says they'll call you back about mental health services, it means that you have some theoretical access, even if it takes forever. If you finally reach someone, I would really play it up as much as possible.... talk about how bad it's been. Don't say that you're going to kill yourself or you will be diverted to the ER. Just play up your desperation, which shouldn't be too hard because you are. These services are usually underfunded so they prioritize the worst cases. So the worse you sound, even if you are in reality having an okay day today, the more likely they will take you.
 
For what it's worth I feel your pain. Public mental health services in my city are practically non-existent. I have been in crisis before and could get no help. Every doctor gives out the same list of sliding scale private counselors, which are really just student clinics with low skilled therapists. Hospitals won't help you unless someone other than you calls in and says you're suicidal, or you make an attempt. Then they just put you in the psych ward for the customary number of days, drug you, and send you on your way with some basic outpatient care. The hospital psychiatrists in my city are SHIT. The last one I saw years ago was a bloated whale who gave me all of 10 minutes of her time before Rx'ing me an SSRI.

That said... if you actually have a hotline you can call that says they'll call you back about mental health services, it means that you have some theoretical access, even if it takes forever. If you finally reach someone, I would really play it up as much as possible.... talk about how bad it's been. Don't say that you're going to kill yourself or you will be diverted to the ER. Just play up your desperation, which shouldn't be too hard because you are. These services are usually underfunded so they prioritize the worst cases. So the worse you sound, even if you are in reality having an okay day today, the more likely they will take you.
I'm literally going insane. I have a psychiatrist who's giving me all different combinations of medications to try and fix my shit, I have been diagnosed with MDD, PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder... I'm cutting again, I want to use so fucking bad. I haven't. I'm stockpiling medications in case I decide I want to kill myself. I wrote my suicide note. It sucks so fucking much. I can't stand any of this. Mental health here sucks.
 
I'm literally going insane. I have a psychiatrist who's giving me all different combinations of medications to try and fix my shit, I have been diagnosed with MDD, PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder... I'm cutting again, I want to use so fucking bad. I haven't. I'm stockpiling medications in case I decide I want to kill myself. I wrote my suicide note. It sucks so fucking much. I can't stand any of this. Mental health here sucks.

May I ask which part of the world you are in?
 
Physical health too it sounds
Yeah, there’s been a lot of physical health issues lately. Unfortunately, I can’t get anything easily fixed. Luckily, I haven’t turned back to using, as much as I want to. Been going through a lot. Wishing things would move along. Finally fixed one thing that I’d been dealing with for too long, and had no idea about. Found out I have cysts on my thyroid. Still having seizures and pain from my spinal cord injury. And still have pain from my recent ankle fracture and ACL tear. It sucks and I’m tired of pain. Physical, mental, emotional. All of it.
 
May I ask which part of the world you are in?
I’m in a small town in the Northeast United States. Only way to really move up on a mental health waitlist around here is to end up in the Psychiatric emergency room. Which I’m trying to avoid. I do and I don’t want to die. Like, some days, it’s all I think about. 24/7. Other days, it’s passive, more of, well, if it happens oh well. I have worked crisis hotlines and detox facilities… I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I also unfortunately, don’t have the money, resources, and time, to dedicate to going inpatient right now for mental health. Which is why I’m working with a psychiatrist and TRYING so FUCKING HARD to get into an outpatient mental health facility. I can’t afford to spend a month in. The last time I went inpatient for psych reasons, I was there for 6 weeks and 2 days. I can’t do that right now.
 
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