Man some of you guys took a lot of benzos. Was not a thing with me growing up, just occasional scripts given at times then nothing for years. But I have to say even on a therapeutic dose of etizolam I could not watch a tv show without having to rewatch it the next day due to periods of amnesia. Yet I read how some people got up to 12-20 mgs a day (and now more) I would get that with any benzo though and dislike that effect so only use them for real issues on occasion. But I remember when etizolam was legal in the US. People got up very high in milligrams and complained about it. Now that it is not as available it has become a legend and glorified.
The legendary status of etizolam is well deserved in my personal opinion, it has a warmth and euphoria closer to soma than other benzos imo. I'm 26, so I'm ~8 years out of high school, and some of my peers would order grams of etizolam in the mail and do stupid shit like thumbprints of crystal. We had a few cases of serious benzo incidents due to it lol. Sometimes in hs I would take triple digit amounts of alprazolam, but as an adult I've only gone double digits with things like flualprazolam (~16mg once), bromazolam (~24mg once), and I put down maybe 12mg of alprazolam once in a day, but those are all weak numbers compared to people with tolerance. I had some memory issues with the flualprazolam at first, but some speed and/or meth (some sort of amphetamine) pulled me out of it. I think that using benzos a ton in my younger years led to a sort of mild permatolerance, even when adjusted for bodyweight I'm specifically hardheaded towards all GABA agents and amphetamine due to a past of overuse, I
suspect. A couple years ago I had a super severe concussion, and in the aftermath I would try to do a lot of reckless things with drugs. My fiance
@Felidaez had to haggle me down to only a few milligrams of etizolam because I was trying to bring something like 32mg of etizolam to bed. I had lain etizolam onto candy blocks, and I was trying to bring a couple "knockout" blocks I'd made as emergency tripkillers for when I'm guiding psychedelic sessions.
I want @Esperighanto and @Shinji Ikari to ping me in 40 years and let me know if they are still tripping as hard and as much.
I get jealous as I use to be able too. Now every trip has to be planned and thought out. But I value the occasional trip these days.
The only shift I've noticed over time is that the substances I use have changed, mostly due to availability and what I feel "called" towards. I also first touched a psychedelic right before turning 22, so it's only been ~4 years. I suspect my relationship to psychedelics is due to the fact that most people don't have the degree of neurological damage or overall accumulated trauma to sort through, or if they do they're probably scared of not feeling "in control". I was functionally schizphrenic due to brain damage from the ages of 13-19, it fully resolved by time I was 20 thanks to extreme amounts of cannabis use. To this day, if I go 4-5 days without cannabis, I'm completely indstinguishable from somebody with schizophrenia. I always think to myself "What in the world could any psychedelic do that would be more frightening than that". Watching people run into lecture halls and start shooting the students and professor, watching my mother blow her fucking brains out with a handgun, seeing corpses everywhere I go, that was the type of shit I'd hallucinate. My neurologist compared this condition, which we believe to be a demyelination disorder, to endogenously causing something akin to a Benadryl overdose on the daily.
TLDR; I think when there is no fear surrounding psychedelics, all they can become is a tool with virtually no downsides.
