Recovery Finally it seems like I am making strides

[LifeQuitter]

Hey guys I report back in after quite some time. Ever sincr February/March my life has been absolute hell. For the first time in my life I did drugs, heavy drugs and became addicted to opiates and weed. The pressure to consume all day everyday devoured my whole life.

I had psych wards visits more than I‘d count in that time frame and 4 times a week I go to different therapists and counsellors.

The insane cravings for opiates are insane. So now after a lot of bureaucracy at the substitution clinic I finally switched to Methadone.
Today was the first day I pulled up at the pharmacy to get my first 20mg sirrzup. We had to start that low because of some strict laws. He plans to increase the dosage after a few days to see how much I need. The long term goal is to get my life back together so I can go to University again and study on! We will switch to L-Methadone once I am doing fine, and I don’t get QT prolongation etc.

For now it’s been about 2h after drinking my first shot and I feel fantastic. I am actually a bit turned even though it’s just a low dose. My suicidal thoughts are gone, I feel productive, pretty euphoric (if anyone says Methadone can’t give euphoria; that’s most definitely wrong lol), and overall pretty damn decent.
Also my cravings are totally gone. I have no interested in consuming anything along with it now. Not even Weed.

I am glad I live just 5 min away from the pharmacy. This feels like the right way. Plus I can rest assured I don’t ingest laced sht as I probably was when I was shopping in the darknet etc.

I hope this will keep working now. This might be the solution to safe my life.

E:/ Also one thing I am very glad about. All my cravings even for weed and even for my nicotine vape (was a chainsmoker) is completely gone it‘s like magic. This could be placebo/nocebo but whatever it is I sure hope this spell stays like that.

 

[thatmf]

Hey guys I report back in after quite some time. Ever sincr February/March my life has been absolute hell. For the first time in my life I did drugs, heavy drugs and became addicted to opiates and weed. The pressure to consume all day everyday devoured my whole life.

I had psych wards visits more than I‘d count in that time frame and 4 times a week I go to different therapists and counsellors.

The insane cravings for opiates are insane. So now after a lot of bureaucracy at the substitution clinic I finally switched to Methadone.
Today was the first day I pulled up at the pharmacy to get my first 20mg sirrzup. We had to start that low because of some strict laws. He plans to increase the dosage after a few days to see how much I need. The long term goal is to get my life back together so I can go to University again and study on! We will switch to L-Methadone once I am doing fine, and I don’t get QT prolongation etc.

For now it’s been about 2h after drinking my first shot and I feel fantastic. I am actually a bit turned even though it’s just a low dose. My suicidal thoughts are gone, I feel productive, pretty euphoric (if anyone says Methadone can’t give euphoria; that’s most definitely wrong lol), and overall pretty damn decent.
Also my cravings are totally gone. I have no interested in consuming anything along with it now. Not even Weed.

I am glad I live just 5 min away from the pharmacy. This feels like the right way. Plus I can rest assured I don’t ingest laced sht as I probably was when I was shopping in the darknet etc.

I hope this will keep working now. This might be the solution to safe my life.

E:/ Also one thing I am very glad about. All my cravings even for weed and even for my nicotine vape (was a chainsmoker) is completely gone it‘s like magic. This could be placebo/nocebo but whatever it is I sure hope this spell stays like that.

Sounds like you are doing well! Good on you, keep at it

 

[Jnowhere]

Hey guys I report back in after quite some time. Ever sincr February/March my life has been absolute hell. For the first time in my life I did drugs, heavy drugs and became addicted to opiates and weed. The pressure to consume all day everyday devoured my whole life.

I had psych wards visits more than I‘d count in that time frame and 4 times a week I go to different therapists and counsellors.

The insane cravings for opiates are insane. So now after a lot of bureaucracy at the substitution clinic I finally switched to Methadone.
Today was the first day I pulled up at the pharmacy to get my first 20mg sirrzup. We had to start that low because of some strict laws. He plans to increase the dosage after a few days to see how much I need. The long term goal is to get my life back together so I can go to University again and study on! We will switch to L-Methadone once I am doing fine, and I don’t get QT prolongation etc.

For now it’s been about 2h after drinking my first shot and I feel fantastic. I am actually a bit turned even though it’s just a low dose. My suicidal thoughts are gone, I feel productive, pretty euphoric (if anyone says Methadone can’t give euphoria; that’s most definitely wrong lol), and overall pretty damn decent.
Also my cravings are totally gone. I have no interested in consuming anything along with it now. Not even Weed.

I am glad I live just 5 min away from the pharmacy. This feels like the right way. Plus I can rest assured I don’t ingest laced sht as I probably was when I was shopping in the darknet etc.

I hope this will keep working now. This might be the solution to safe my life.

E:/ Also one thing I am very glad about. All my cravings even for weed and even for my nicotine vape (was a chainsmoker) is completely gone it‘s like magic. This could be placebo/nocebo but whatever it is I sure hope this spell stays like that.

Good luck with getting clean. I hope you can stay away from drugs including weed and nicotine. If you can get off them also, then that's great. If you get cravings try as hard as you can to resist temptations. Good luck.

 

[LifeQuitter]

Hey guys I’m back after a while. With some good news but also very bad news will make an update post later. Lemme get high first

 

[bvc]

Hey guys I’m back after a while. With some good news but also very bad news will make an update post later. Lemme get high first

Fuck yeah!!!

 

[LifeQuitter]

Ok so the update. I am still in substitution therapy. After a while I didn’t feel so well with Methadone so they changed me to Morphine HCL extended release. It’s the best medication I ever had. I already take it since summer 2024. About 2 months after I made my original post here they changed me from Methadone to it. I don’t want to say the brand name as then you’d know which country I’m from. It has different brand names in different countries but it is Morphine HCL extended release. I started off with 900mg a day but over the years I am now down to only 100mg. I was at 25mg once but felt too bad so I went back up to 100mg which is my sweet spot. Remember it’s an extended release pill its effects are released throughout 24 hours, maybe even a bit more. I take it once a day and never have withdrawals. I never had ANY side effects from it. This medication for me works extremely well, not even constipation. Even on 900mg I didn’t have constipation, nausea or any of that. Literally zero side effects. In the beginning it did gave me a constant warm buzz but that’s gone since a long time now.
The good news:
a) Even though sometimes I did take more of it than I should to get high I never ever bought any other opiates anymore
b) I am also clean from every other rc drug I did back in early 2024 (ever since I got into substitution therapy). Honestly I am completely done with all the other drugs. I just want to stay on my Morphine HCL and this way I can function and have no craving for any other hard drugs. I am done with them all.
c) I didn‘t drop out of Uni, I didn‘t lose a year and I passed all the exams until now. Keep in mind. I am going to a very elite Med Uni. It‘s one of the hardest to get into in the world. The exams are very hard and most of my time is spend studying. But I succeeded. It‘s honestly a miracle with all the crap I took but thankfully I stuck to opiates and they never slowed me down mentally or made studying harder. Not at all. That‘s why I always loved them so much. So until today I am still striving to graduate and I passed everything. Thank God for the right therapy.

The bad news:
a) I sometimes still smoke Weed. There were times were I smoked everyday but honestly now it‘s only on weekends and it gets less and less as I lose interest in it more and more as of lately.
b) my anxiety is at an all time high. My father is about to have an open heart surgery and he is the only one I get along with well. I don‘t have a good relation with my mother. That‘s why I am taking a lot of Xanax currently. They are prescribed to me so no street drugs or any of that. I always take them for 1-2 weeks then stop for 1-2 weeks bc tolerance builds up fast but falls back down fast again. My psychiatrist recommended me this way. Honestly I would lie if I‘d say I‘m not addicted. I am an addict. Opiates and Xanax is what I love. But I can function like this and pass my exams so that‘s all that counts.
c) My social life is horrible. I am still extremely lonely and have no partner. I still miss my girl which is gone since early 2024 (which is when I fell into the drug life) but it‘s manageable to me. Due to my Morphine and Xanax I don‘t feel miserable. I wish I would have my old friends back and my girl back but they are all gone. It‘s just the way it is. With the right medication though I am somewhat content. I focus on myself. This is what I had to learn the last 2 years. To focus on myself, my journey and my goals. People will come and go. I‘ll let fate decide if I‘ll die alone or not but I will not give up and make the best out of my life possible no matter what life throws at me.

I know all of this sounds probably unbelievable but it is the truth. If I wouldn‘t have had my medication I would have committed s*c*de back in 2024. I am pretty sure about this. But the opiates made the extreme loneliness and depression and misery go away and even now that I can‘t get high on it anymore at all, it still blocks the loneliness and depression. It‘s honestly what SSRIs should have done but I tried 10 different SSRI and SNRI all of them never did any of that. I only got extreme sxual dysfunction along with a myriad of other side effects from these shtty SSRIs (I hate them). Opiates though don‘t give me any of that AND work as my anti-depressant. It‘s probably because since I am extremely lonely my opioid receptors are starved of natural endorphins and since now I have a constant opioid release from the extended release Morphine that docks onto my starved receptors I don‘t feel the crushing miserable extreme pain of loneliness anymore and thus I am not s*cidal anymore at all and can function in life. Opiates saved my life and I thank the Lord for papaver somniferum.

 

[thatmf]

This is the way!