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Is recovery possible if...

Jabberwocky said:
NA really helped me at the start. i've noticed massive differences between fellowships in different areas. i intend to start going to meetings again to support me in my abstinence from alcohol.

i haven't overcome my problems but i have had therapy that massively helped, made it possible for me to stay clean. like the level of PTSD i had would have meant if i'd not have got specialised help with that, i couldn't have stayed clean. heroin was the only thing stopping me from feeling like i was being attacked 24/7. wish i was exaggerating, every time i closed my eyes, even blinking, i could see me being attacked. i don't think its possible to live like that sober.


yeah absolutely, as above, i think its important to deal with trauma, or whatever underlying problem is causing your addiction.

i have a lot of love for NA, but i've seen a lot of hypocrisy and people not living by the principles. many of the principles they apply are also found in buddhism, which has also really helped me. there are fewer obvious hypocrites in my sangha. i think different methods have all reached broadly similar conclusions about what we need to do to live a fulfilling life without crutches.

anyone who claims there's a 1 size fits all for recovery is oversimplifying to a ridiculous extent. peer support IS hugely important though, whether its 12 step, SMART, Refuge recovery, whatever.

and therapy, exercise, enjoyment, spiritual and personal development, self care, all play a huge role.
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I so agree but, AA's get sick of me relapsing pretty fast. I lose all my sober friends. I need a place that is not saying it's perfect abstinence or you can't have any recovery, growth, progression, I do all the therapy and show up for my mental health almost every day, I'm sober way more than I'm drunk or high and I still end up alone in 12 step programs. I'm trying to find harm reduction support groups on here and anywhere. I'm so sick of being lonely.
 
Lil'LinaptkSix said:
Not promoting use by any means. However, I personally found it less stressful to settle on a life of use but only once in a while. Quitting outright always leads me to profound self disappointment and "weaker" as it was yet another failed attempt to do "what is right".
Does it have to be this or that? Can it be both? It cannot be either for me so I found comfort in the ability to control my usage. It seems sustainable (as long as I stay away from piles of benzos lol) and the downs that are felt from failing to do the right thing are avoided and replaced with confidence, decent mental health and the freedom of choice.
Again... this is not a rally for junkies world-wide to rise up and demand a couple doses a week as it worked for one guy on a forum meant to offer a healthier approach to drug use. It took decades, some great people (support) and came at a steep cost.
I am finally OK with who and what I am. I do not broadcast my use in public but I also do not hide it. Discretion goes a long way, it is said (I think :p ).

But on topic?

I would consider myself recovered as a mf. Recovery to me is a state of gaining back one's ability to make a choice in a previously predetermined outcome in a situation. Or rather, the ability to act without fear of getting trapped. ;)
What is recovery to you?
Peace
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I absolutely agree with you.. Since posting this I've gotten on methadone and live my life sober 95% of the time.. BUT I don't think there's anything wrong with having a lil fun once in awhile, as long as it doesn't turn into a full-on relapse. Why can't I break up the monotony of life once in awhile?
Anytime I have failed a piss test at the methadone clinic, I've felt so guilty and disappointed in myself that I cried in my counselor's office.. why am I crying over this? Would I feel this bad about it if I didn't have these people telling me I fucked up? Hmm..

Anyways, thank you for your insight :)
 
Omlovepeace said:
I so agree but, AA's get sick of me relapsing pretty fast. I lose all my sober friends. I need a place that is not saying it's perfect abstinence or you can't have any recovery, growth, progression, I do all the therapy and show up for my mental health almost every day, I'm sober way more than I'm drunk or high and I still end up alone in 12 step programs. I'm trying to find harm reduction support groups on here and anywhere. I'm so sick of being lonely.
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I hear you! I have one friend that I interact with since I've gotten on methadone and that's theonly person I see! Lol sometimes I wonder, do I still know how to socialize like a normal person? Apparently not. I've never been big on AA/NA and I'm also pretty introverted so I'm totally lost on how to make soberish friends..
 
Omlovepeace said:
I so agree but, AA's get sick of me relapsing....
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haypiñata said:
I've never been big on AA/NA.....
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AA/NA and other 12-Step programs are abstinence-based. They expect a few relapses but the assumption is that one's goal is strict sobriety. I don't entirely agree with that approach (among other things) but AA did help me a lot early in my recovery.
Somewhere in this forum there's a thread about Drug Addicts Anonymous (not NA).
Maybe look into that?
 
It's tough, kind of like having to start over in some ways, when you decide to get mostly sober. I think that substitute addiction is a hazard, other than that, I don't see a big issue in wanting to change one's mindstate every now and than.
 
Yeah dude anything's possible with you truly desire change. I had no reason to stop other than I wanted to I wanted a different life. It's not easy it's definitely not the easy road. But it is the most rewarding.

And the weed thing I never thought I'd give it up either but when I was going through the heavy withdrawals I just felt like I needed to get back to baseline without anything. I mean you're already going to be miserable you might as well take the opportunity and stop everything including weed.

That's the way I looked at it anyway I was like well it'll help get my tolerance down and I'm all ready feeling like s*** so I might as well. But like 6 months later when I tried smoking weed again it just sent me off into a psychosis so much that I put it down for good.

You might surprise yourself you might enjoy sober you especially if it's been a while.
 
These days I experiment with different cannabinoids like Delta a it's basically the same thing but I don't smoke it or vape it. Just edibles my dude and super low dose.

But yeah dog I'm coming up on my 8 years clean from hard drugs. The first two years were kind of where most people relapse so if you get that under control you'll be golden.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
I recovered without NA or AA or any outside help. BUT....I wasn't young anymore. So I had many years of abuse under my belt. Many accidents, much turmoil, many hardships. Just couldn't justify the life anymore. I had to say enough is enough already.

Weed is good and I smoked up until a few weeks ago. It makes me cough now and I get some anxiety. Not real fun anymore for me like it used to be.

We are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. The first step is always the hardest but once we take it the days get easier.

Good luck my friend. You can do anything you put your mind to.
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This is great to hear, it took me a while and a few life events to realize that, and today I've made my first recovery post instead of stash posts. lol.
 
The cool thing about recovery is that it's YOURS and you can do it anyway you want to. NA and AA and the big book are all the tools to help you along your journey. I for example am in Medicated Assisted Treatment a lot of people tell me all the time "that's not clean" or " Your just substituting". That may be true but guess what!? I'm not longer waking up under an overpass every morning, shooting up in my toes broad daylight on the sidewalk, OD' ing while panhandling in the middle of the highway. My life is manageable now and if I gotta be on medication for the rest of my life to help stay that way then fuck the naysayers. Ain't no shame in my game, I tried a lot. Detoxes, rehabs, sober houses, MAT is what has worked for me. If your honest with yourself and hold yourself accountable and know weed isn't going to make your life unmanageable then go for it. In fact I know a lot of people in recovery who swear it's saved they're lives and use it as MAT themselves.
 
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