Anxiety Valium WD day 6

[Smuck_Hey_Dee_Hewitt]

Thanks. Day 9 today. Still pretty rough. Didn't sleep a wink last night, just laid there. Also having lots of body jerking and brain zaps. Physical sensations of burning and numbing in face & arms and legs. The anxiety is truly un explainable. I really appreciate the words of wisdom & experience. I hope i sleep tonight without taking any sleep aid. I didn't last night. Maybe an edible THC 30mg

I will be going out on a limb here and assume you got over "The Fear " just fine. This may sound patronizing (all but ),and surely unpopular ,but ,my experience ( and others close to me ) with benzo (ab)use tells me that 1 year is not enough for a person to be truly crippled by withdrawals.
Another thing which both humoured me and made me feel great for you at the same time was that rather "as -a -matter .of -factly " : -"Maybe an edible THC 30mg" -tell tale sign you´re .
THC would be the last thing on anybody´s , "seriously " withdrawing off of benzos, list . Speak of which ,hahah, last time I hit the bong while withdrawing I even convinced myself I had developed some unnatural pathological gait which looked hilarious (downright embarrassing even ) to all, including myself. On the other hand these seemingly incompatible substances can be very useful at giving you "Perspective " ... -letting go of irrational Fears if you know what I mean ( One example :responsible/sensible use of cocaine has personally done me wonders at letting go of such phobias such as the irrational fear of seizures and cardiovascular issues which are always present on my mind to some extent once I jump off benzodiazepines. I basically convince myself that there´s sth very off with my heart ...a couple of meager lines will eventually push me into panic mode ...worst it got is I have to pour myself a drink or two till I begin looking at the funny/absurd side of it all. And then you realize all you did was an upper which naturally got your heart racing, something benzos had put to rest for a loong time. And there I stood ,contemplating the possibility that I could actually be having a great time while quitting benzo(s) of choice even .

 

[silver_lining]

I will be going out on a limb here and assume you got over "The Fear " just fine. This may sound patronizing (all but ),and surely unpopular ,but ,my experience ( and others close to me ) with benzo (ab)use tells me that 1 year is not enough for a person to be truly crippled by withdrawals.
Another thing which both humoured me and made me feel great for you at the same time was that rather "as -a -matter .of -factly " : -"Maybe an edible THC 30mg" -tell tale sign you´re .
THC would be the last thing on anybody´s , "seriously " withdrawing off of benzos, list . Speak of which ,hahah, last time I hit the bong while withdrawing I even convinced myself I had developed some unnatural pathological gait which looked hilarious (downright embarrassing even ) to all, including myself. On the other hand these seemingly incompatible substances can be very useful at giving you "Perspective " ... -letting go of irrational Fears if you know what I mean ( One example :responsible/sensible use of cocaine has personally done me wonders at letting go of such phobias such as the irrational fear of seizures and cardiovascular issues which are always present on my mind to some extent once I jump off benzodiazepines. I basically convince myself that there´s sth very off with my heart ...a couple of meager lines will eventually push me into panic mode ...worst it got is I have to pour myself a drink or two till I begin looking at the funny/absurd side of it all. And then you realize all you did was an upper which naturally got your heart racing, something benzos had put to rest for a loong time. And there I stood ,contemplating the possibility that I could actually be having a great time while quitting benzo(s) of choice even .

Ya i'm doing a bit better, on day 11 today. Finding better sleep, not waking up in a full blown panic attack either. Starting to crave & rationalize using again. Incredible how that works. I just need to take it one day at a time. I love mixing pills and it only takes a few days of "i don't give a shit" and i find myself slipping down the slope. Not sure how many times I can re-climb that hill tho. Trying to deal with underlying issues, but that's almost more painful than withdrawals. I'm a wreck within. That's why I love Benzo's and downers so much, it numbs the pain, masks the loneliness. Although i've done pounds of coke, I never liked it or "uppers" in general. Nothing worse than those sleepless nights coming down off cocaine. I've been free of coke/alcohol for 9 years now, and very lucky. That was a psychotic suicidal frenzy of thoughts that lasted well over a year into sobriety.

Good time to get some thinking done.

Thanks for the reply & support!

 

[Smuck_Hey_Dee_Hewitt]

Ya i'm doing a bit better, on day 11 today. Finding better sleep, not waking up in a full blown panic attack either. Starting to crave & rationalize using again. Incredible how that works. I just need to take it one day at a time. I love mixing pills and it only takes a few days of "i don't give a shit" and i find myself slipping down the slope. Not sure how many times I can re-climb that hill tho. Trying to deal with underlying issues, but that's almost more painful than withdrawals. I'm a wreck within. That's why I love Benzo's and downers so much, it numbs the pain, masks the loneliness. Although i've done pounds of coke, I never liked it or "uppers" in general. Nothing worse than those sleepless nights coming down off cocaine. I've been free of coke/alcohol for 9 years now, and very lucky. That was a psychotic suicidal frenzy of thoughts that lasted well over a year into sobriety.

Good time to get some thinking done.

Thanks for the reply & support!

You´re welcome !
Have you considered relocating and just live a new life elsewhere ? I personally found that to be extremely beneficial when I was in a similar state to the one you describe above ... actually worse off since I had a pretty hefty Cocaine/gear addiction when I decided not to die of an OD in my early 20s but instead take my last Christmas paycheck, quit my job/not renew the contract ,and join an Humanitarian project in some country I knew nothing about whatsoever.
A complete reset :new relationships, the work, learning other skills ,always busy ,adapting to a strange environment where nothing/nobody reminded me of drugs ...once you internalize the idea that there is no way you can medicate yourself, that is 90% of the withdrawals gone right there and then ...then time takes care of the rest.
Just typed the above cause you typed this :"starting to crave and rationalize using again. Incredible how that works ". This is a pattern I know too well and it can get you stuck in a place where nothing ever happens for indefinite periods of time .Sometimes extreme situations demand extreme measures such as the aforementioned.
As you said again: "good time to get some thinking done " ...by now I´m certain you are thinking a lot clearer. Try to hold on to that thought and what I said about withdrawing not necessarily having to be a miserable experience ( example :contrary to popular belief I found out that a drink or two once you get to the stage you´re in is faaaar from interfering negatively with your detox. Going out and have a few, interact with people on a higher state of alert such as the one you find yourself in at the moment. Too much introspection and isolation are two of your worst enemies right now.
Apologise for the "pseudo life coach " type of post (lol ) but I just had to get it off my chest ...having read your reply felt like I was reading sth I had written a few years back.
May you exit this box sooner than I will ! Stay safe !

 

[paranoid android]

Why are you going off the valium so quick? I would recommend doing a slow taper over unnecessarily going through severe benzo wd

 

[silver_lining]

Why are you going off the valium so quick? I would recommend doing a slow taper over unnecessarily going through severe benzo wd

Not interested in long tapers. I don't really have a risk of seizure in my situation. I reached a point where felt comfortable suffering i guess. The Valium wasn't really working anymore without higher doses and I was mixing it with other downers, so I had to make a choice. I am SO GLAD I didn't drag this out with a long slow taper method. I felt the suffering was the same with reduced doses vs no doses, so I just hopped off. It is painful but rewarding. I can literally feel the fog lifting little by little. The metabolites last well over 30 days, so this makes sense that I am starting to feel better as it fully starts to dissipate

 

[silver_lining]

As you said again: "good time to get some thinking done " ...by now I´m certain you are thinking a lot clearer. Try to hold on to that thought and what I said about withdrawing not necessarily having to be a miserable experience ( example :contrary to popular belief I found out that a drink or two once you get to the stage you´re in is faaaar from interfering negatively with your detox. Going out and have a few, interact with people on a higher state of alert such as the one you find yourself in at the moment. Too much introspection and isolation are two of your worst enemies right now.

Tempting, I can't stop after one or two drinks tho. I wrecked 3 cars and went to jail twice, all in 3 months because of my final stretch with booze. I should be dead and I am lucky I didn't kill someone. I'd pop more pills before ever having a drink again.

 

[brasil]

Hey mate hope you’re doing fine.

Exercise helped me alot when i quit benzos.

 

[silver_lining]

Hey mate hope you’re doing fine.

Exercise helped me alot when i quit benzos.

Thank You!

Today is day 15 and in a much better place mentally & physically. I have a physically demanding job, so plenty of exercise and YES it definitely helps.

Things that have helped me with tension, sleep & anxiety over the last 2 weeks:

Magnesium Glycinate
Valerian Root
Amanita Mushroom Gummies

Things that didn't help:

Gabapentin (yuk!)
Ashwagandha (no thank you!)
Kava (barf!)

Things that I used but maybe shouldn't of:

Z drugs; Ambien, Zopiclone (last resort for sleep, use sparingly like once a week at most)
Soma; provides pain relief, a nice little buzz and a good nights sleep. Between 500 & 1000 mg, sparingly. I notice it hinders benzo recovery a little bit, so this is a last resort or a special treat. My 2nd favorite pharma next to Valium.

Honestly the biggest thing that has helped me is the BL forum. The stories & support here is incredible and I would of been stumbling around in dark failure had I not found the support here. Thank You, Day 15!

 

[Eryximachus]

Thank You!

Today is day 15 and in a much better place mentally & physically. I have a physically demanding job, so plenty of exercise and YES it definitely helps.

Things that have helped me with tension, sleep & anxiety over the last 2 weeks:

Magnesium Glycinate
Valerian Root
Amanita Mushroom Gummies

Things that didn't help:

Gabapentin (yuk!)
Ashwagandha (no thank you!)
Kava (barf!)

Things that I used but maybe shouldn't of:

Z drugs; Ambien, Zopiclone (last resort for sleep, use sparingly like once a week at most)
Soma; provides pain relief, a nice little buzz and a good nights sleep. Between 500 & 1000 mg, sparingly. I notice it hinders benzo recovery a little bit, so this is a last resort or a special treat. My 2nd favorite pharma next to Valium.

Honestly the biggest thing that has helped me is the BL forum. The stories & support here is incredible and I would of been stumbling around in dark failure had I not found the support here. Thank You, Day 15!

Hey man - I found carbamazepine to be very helpful to get through acute withdrawal. Didn't do anything for the longer term PAWS I experienced, which took about a year to resolve.

I also was prescribed gabapentin, and it kind of helped, but not as much as carbamazepine. Outside of doing something with GABA as most anticonvulsants do, it increases the liver enzyme that breaks down benzos so you clear it from your system faster.

Give us an update!

 

[silver_lining]

Hey man - I found carbamazepine to be very helpful to get through acute withdrawal. Didn't do anything for the longer term PAWS I experienced, which took about a year to resolve.

I also was prescribed gabapentin, and it kind of helped, but not as much as carbamazepine. Outside of doing something with GABA as most anticonvulsants do, it increases the liver enzyme that breaks down benzos so you clear it from your system faster.

Give us an update!

slipped up a bit last weekend, took 20mg of xanax in a 3 day binge with a bunch of Soma.

I was really hurting after that little stunt, so i took 10mg valium 4 days ago, then 7.5, then 5 and yesterday i took 3mg Valium.

This fast taper definitely helped scoot past the xanax issues, i'm such a poly user too i'm trying not to tho.

So i guess today is day 1... again. But i'm doing ok, not nearly as bad of WD's as i was experiencing 3 weeks ago when i began.

Last night i took 15mg of Flexeril at 6pm, helped big time with my back pain and soreness. Not as groggy this morning as I would of been with Soma.

This morning I am drinking coffee and smoking hash. Cheers, and thank you for checking in with me!

Bluelight Forum Friends have helped me more than anything or anyone when it comes to substance abuse, recovery and HR.

 

[endlessnameless]

This is just my experience, but I was in detox for two weeks tapering down on Librium and Ativan this last time I kicked Benzos. I was on high dose bromazolam for about a year. I have used benzos off and on, sometimes heavily for a lot of my life though. I absolutely couldn't sleep for the first few days when I got out the hospital. But it got better with time. Just keep at it, things will get better for you for sure.

Similarly, I've used benzos (mainly Diazepam ~40mgs at a time through a prescription) for long periods. Oddly enough I never experienced any serious physical dependency from them (save for the kickback anxiety when I went through the script too fast). I switched to Trannex not too long ago and take 4mgs of them a day currently but at this point I don't think they're even having an effect. I'll still wean when my Lyrica is gone however as I certainly dont fancy a seizure or a spell of delerium.

 

[endlessnameless]

Not interested in long tapers. I don't really have a risk of seizure in my situation. I reached a point where felt comfortable suffering i guess. The Valium wasn't really working anymore without higher doses and I was mixing it with other downers, so I had to make a choice. I am SO GLAD I didn't drag this out with a long slow taper method. I felt the suffering was the same with reduced doses vs no doses, so I just hopped off. It is painful but rewarding. I can literally feel the fog lifting little by little. The metabolites last well over 30 days, so this makes sense that I am starting to feel better as it fully starts to dissipate

Pretty much exactly the way I feel about my current situation as regards Heroin withdrawal. Had I dragged that out with a taper I'd be still awaiting withdrawals -- correction: I'd be IN them as theres a massive H drought in Dublin at present.