People who stopped (or tried to) heroin recently, how you doing?

[wirkdy]

I stopped after a 2 year snorting addiction, first month was UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE, anyway towards the end of the second month and with the help of physical activity it got better and I almost abandoned all the desire for it and all by myself, sad but I got it accomplished.

I'm getting into the 3rd month, I'm severely depressed, I was suffering also during and before using it but it wasn't so strong, I don't know if heroin aggravated it or it's just my life situation, I'd really like to know how I could tell for sure what my problem is, I guess unaccomplished life goals and terrible family when growing up that affected every aspect of my development with bad consequences.

I don't miss heroin so much, mostly because of the terrible withdrawals you get and the choice or ROA which in my case is bad for my nose and skin.

But as I wrote in my other post I managed to get oxy prescriptions recently, I thought of taking it only in the weekend and ended up doing it almost daily, is it "cheating"?
A little maybe but it's better than doing heroin and I feel so bad in life that it's better I take it for some relief time.

I'm wondering if finding a "second half" in life would help me suppress depression, give me a strong "charge" and thus not needing opioids any more.

Have you got any tips or opinions?

 

[Jen X]

I recently stopped fentanyl and like you abuse the hell outta my hydromorph script. They say never to put your recovery/hapiness dependent on another person and i see why. Although it's because of him i'm trying to be straight, if he leaves i'll be worse then before.

We gotta be happy alone

 

[wirkdy]

They say never to put your recovery/hapiness dependent on another person and i see why. Although it's because of him i'm trying to be straight, if he leaves i'll be worse then before.

We gotta be happy alone

true I know, but finding no other reason that would maybe pull me out of the abyss I've been in might just as well try hard with finding the second half, even though with my age having reached 40's and the present state of dating scene and man woman relations it's very hard. If it goes bad, well back as before, worse than before? impossible.

 

[Jen X]

Good point, I was on a mission to kill myself with drugs before him so after him would be no different.
It does help though having a reason to stay clean.
I pick up my script tomorrow and if it wasn't for not wanting to disappoint him I would have ordered needles by now.
Definitely no one size fits all. I just worry to much sometimes

 

[Jen X]

Having someone love you do make a big difference imo.
And at our age finding a good one isn't easy. I guess that's why I'm trying so hard, I don't want to be alone and miserable anymore

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I I managed to get oxy prescriptions recently, I thought of taking it only in the weekend and ended up doing it almost daily, is it "cheating"?

yes. Opioids are a bad dead end for almost everything they are medically used for and bring a whole new set of problems in your life when you relay on legal scripts.

I use them for chronic pain and it is a never ending awful cycle of tapering down or off them and resuming use when my pain flares. This takes a huge toll on mental health but pain is always #1 to address for me as that is what opioids are indicated for. Being opioid dependent adds so much stress and dragging around that. BAll and chain (pill bottle) consumes your life and limits your ability to be truly free and live life without worry

When I do kick them I feel a sense of freedom and natural happiness that opioids dampens. My sex life improves and I am a happier person. If I didn’t have chronic pain it would be the easiest thing ever to kick them and never come back. They suck.

What happens when the doctor cuts you off instantly or the pharmacy decides to let you get sick for their own amusement - you go back to fent or they run your life

Opioids for depression are a bad idea. They end up making you far more depressed in the long run.

Have you tried the myriad of conventional treatments for depression, for example other medications?

Your depression may not even be “real” simply a result of quitting or PAWS

You really need I’d see 3 months minimum of being clean to assess your feelings and we if you are more or less depressed while on opioids. In most cases the depression will vanish as your life becomes more full and you are no longer paying back dopamine withdrawal with interest (ie withdrawl misery)

Being on opioids makes your mental health horrible and I wouldn’t recommend it for depression any more than cocaine is appropriate for depression

 

[chippermonk]

Yeah, it's scary to put yourself out there and try to find someone, because if it fails, will you feel worse? I had that problem and it was hard to start dating again and it failed for me a couple times before I found my present partner. But you know, it wasn't really failing. It was more like practice for success.

 

[wirkdy]

Have you tried the myriad of conventional treatments for depression, for example other medications?

Being on opioids makes your mental health horrible and I wouldn’t recommend it for depression any more than cocaine is appropriate for depression

I Have tried mushrooms, mdma, ketamine but just by myself, probably not in the right way, I don't know, anyway results are positive but afterwards I'm back as before, I'm skeptical of going to a psychiatrist and scared of getting those "official" shitty anti depression stuff, I wouldn't even know what remedies there are for depression :/

what I am convinced of is that you still gotta have a goal in life otherwise whatever you take afterwards you're back as before like I did with shrooms, mdma, ketamine, I could be wrong.

 

[chippermonk]

I Have tried mushrooms, mdma, ketamine but just by myself, probably not in the right way, I don't know, anyway results are positive but afterwards I'm back as before, I'm skeptical of going to a psychiatrist and scared of getting those "official" shitty anti depression stuff, I wouldn't even know what remedies there are for depression :/

what I am convinced of is that you still gotta have a goal in life otherwise whatever you take afterwards you're back as before like I did with shrooms, mdma, ketamine, I could be wrong.

Those trips guided by a therapist sound like they can really help people with all kinds of issues. It's legal in some states. I gotta say, all my trips on my own were kind of enlightening but too disorganized to get me anywhere useful, just fun. I'd kinda like to try it guided, though I'm afraid it might not be fun
Probably pretty expensive, though.
But, yeah, some kind of goal and purpose and true knowledge of yourself.

 

[CaptnRon]

I’m 7 months clean tomorrow from dope/fent. 17 years of mostly on and off IV use, mostly on. At the end I was using 1-2 bundles a day.

Month 3 is where I saw my biggest improvements. But it absolutely does get better from day one and on.
The biggest thing for me was to stay busy. I work a fuck ton of hours a week, so after the acute withdrawal phase, it’s been an absolute blessing.

Just put one foot in front of the other and keep it moving. You’ll be feeling better before you know it.

Always, fair winds and following seas

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I Have tried mushrooms, mdma, ketamine but just by myself, probably not in the right way, I don't know, anyway results are positive but afterwards I'm back as before, I'm skeptical of going to a psychiatrist and scared of getting those "official" shitty anti depression stuff, I wouldn't even know what remedies there are for depression :/

what I am convinced of is that you still gotta have a goal in life otherwise whatever you take afterwards you're back as before like I did with shrooms, mdma, ketamine, I could be wrong.

Recreational drugs aren’t for depression especially hard drugs like mdma and ketamine.

The stuff you mentioned about have goals or passion in life is really important. Sport, art, being involved in society.

If you still need more I would not recommend self diagnosing and self medicating with recreational drugs

You can try therapy and CBT or a lot of non medication based approaches but they involved a a lot of self work