Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 8.0

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Man I think the same sometimes. I really wanna trip again. Those range of emotions it really makes you feel is so therapeutic.
hang in there your getting better

everyone is improving more than me faster than me and their suicidal surprisingly and im not suicidal anymore surprisingly probably because im used to having nothing and coming from such a shitty hellish life before this poison many ppl had good lives free of pain and trauma before this poison
 
My psych doctor told me she thinks I’m delusional because I’m blaming my symptoms on the injections …. She says it out of my system along time ago and that I have depression…. Fucking joke … I’ve had depression before and it is NOTHING compared with this shit ,she’s recommending LITHIUM and ECT I don’t want either of those they could make me worse somehow ffs what a nightmare this is .
 
I am seriously cracking under this pressure. I’m not sure how long I can live like this. I don’t even sleep throughout the full night, I wake up early always and I’m never tired to fall back asleep. I really want to end it today.
 
Over 8 months since my last injection , no improvements whatsoever , still suffer from severe anhedonia , no emotions , severe alogia , blank mind , can’t feel substances , no libido , no interest in anything at all (just feel dead inside ) insomnia , life is a living hell … don’t think im going to recover tbh , won’t be living a lifetime of this torture , my only way out looks like suicide at this point.
How are you?
 
Anhedonia is the worst thing a person can go through because it just destroys your quality of life. It makes nothing feel good anymore. Sleeping, sitting, getting wind on your body, showering, just existing becomes painful. How i miss sleeping for 12h and having a bunch of fun and complex dreams and then wake up feeling cozy, now i just don't feel cozy anymore. I keep having daydreams about dying and reincarnating as another person that didn't take antipsychotics. The fact that someone could create a drug that sucks all the joy from our lives like this is scary as fuck, even more so that science isn't working hard to come up with something that reverses the effects of this thing. I'm afraid i'm suicidal 24/7 and to add insult to injury, an ignorant psychiatrist would just say i'm "depressed" and would recommend antidepressants, as if that would solve anything! These people are completely ignorant about the neuro/biological nature of our struggle. This is a humongous amount of suffering that we carry around and no one can help us, it's scary as shit.
How are you?
 
Anhedonia is the worst thing a person can go through because it just destroys your quality of life. It makes nothing feel good anymore. Sleeping, sitting, getting wind on your body, showering, just existing becomes painful. How i miss sleeping for 12h and having a bunch of fun and complex dreams and then wake up feeling cozy, now i just don't feel cozy anymore. I keep having daydreams about dying and reincarnating as another person that didn't take antipsychotics. The fact that someone could create a drug that sucks all the joy from our lives like this is scary as fuck, even more so that science isn't working hard to come up with something that reverses the effects of this thing. I'm afraid i'm suicidal 24/7 and to add insult to injury, an ignorant psychiatrist would just say i'm "depressed" and would recommend antidepressants, as if that would solve anything! These people are completely ignorant about the neuro/biological nature of our struggle. This is a humongous amount of suffering that we carry around and no one can help us, it's scary as shit.
I also was thinking like thee but I got better. Only took 16-17 months to get any improvements...
 
I got my period 7.5 months after my shots. I'm relieved that my reproductive system is working, but I have doubts if I'll ever get my life into a position where I can use it. I was blighted by the pandemic, my disease, my ADHD, and now all this shit. I wanted to do things and make something of myself, but I'm not sure if I ever will now since invega and prozac did tag-team damage on me and took my creativity and will away. My already malfunctioning reward system is fucked.

These medications are dangerous to people without schizophrenia and depression. I had cured my depression with shrooms, I was just struggling with OCD. SSRIs are not the best treatment for OCD, I think psychedelics might be. I made so much progress on my last trip. I hope I can still trip after all of this shit.

I also think my long-standing vitamin D deficiency had a lot to do with my OCD, rather than some mysterious structural issue or too little serotonin. My OCD was never that severe, it was the pure O type. I should have been more careful and taken more things into consideration. A bastard doctor didn't do this to me, I requested both of these medications.
 
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