Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

[Painful One]

My Brother roped me in to having an Early Thanksgiving this weekend.
It has turned in to the entire family, (about 28 peeps) are coming here for Thanksgiving on Sunday.
I have to cook up a storm.
i have been cleaning up a storm.

My mom is dying.
She is in her 80’s and I have been taking care of her.
I am talking like hospital nurse type care.
I am super tired and stressed.
I don’t know what I will do without my mom.
I am trying to get things figured out so there is some kind of plan.
if worse comes to worst, at least I will have her car and some money….it will give me a few to get things figured out.
I’m trusting in a Higher Power here completely.
There will be a Way.

 

[Painful One]

One week sober.

Didn't get any sleep last night. Lucky i had nothing important to do today.

Got a call from the drug clinic, and everything is finally sorted for me to enter rehab at the end of the month. Just have to give breathalyzer tests in the days leading up to it to prove i'm sober when i enter treatment.

Visited my mom for lunch and had a good chat. Our family is pretty dysfunctional, so actually being able to enjoy time together is always nice.

It's been a good day. Mostly i'm just feeling relieved after two months of fighting with bureaucracy. I think i'll write an apology letter to the social worker i snapped at (or have one of her colleagues relay the message), but i have to say that everything became a lot easier when i began dealing directly with the clinic.

Good work.

You just have to face this thing.
I always find, that once you do, it is not as hard as you made it out to be.
Don’t build it up in your mind or remember what other people said.
I came off 75 mg morphine a day cold Turkey for 14 days and then got Suboxone.

There are some places that you can go that have some good doctors.
The one I found is nice, and one of the doctors there helped with my migraine headaches. A lot.
it is in Murray.

I guess rehab will give you some comfort meds.
Try to listen to the counseling.
I got in trouble for making a joke.
I just couldn't stand that intense of an environment at the time.

You will be alright.
I will pray for you.
Trust in a Higher Power.
There is one.

Love you brother-sister,

 

[tokayeahok]

Wow, this is exactly what I was looking for.
I really need to do some counseling and this sounds like a good fit for me.
Could you send me the link and instructions on how I do zoom?

Thank You!
Much Love to you.

1000%, it’s every wednesday night I’ll DM you!

 

[tokayeahok]

p

One week sober.

Didn't get any sleep last night. Lucky i had nothing important to do today.

Got a call from the drug clinic, and everything is finally sorted for me to enter rehab at the end of the month. Just have to give breathalyzer tests in the days leading up to it to prove i'm sober when i enter treatment.

Visited my mom for lunch and had a good chat. Our family is pretty dysfunctional, so actually being able to enjoy time together is always nice.

It's been a good day. Mostly i'm just feeling relieved after two months of fighting with bureaucracy. I think i'll write an apology letter to the social worker i snapped at (or have one of her colleagues relay the message), but i have to say that everything became a lot easier when i began dealing directly with the clinic.

proud of you mate. that’s truly huge and i’m sure you’re relieved to have some positive quality time with your mum. i’ve been doing the same & i don’t think i’ll ever go back to using if it means jeopardizing my relationship with my family & not being able to handle relationships

 

[Painful One]

p

proud of you mate. that’s truly huge and i’m sure you’re relieved to have some positive quality time with your mum. i’ve been doing the same & i don’t think i’ll ever go back to using if it means jeopardizing my relationship with my family & not being able to handle relationships

Indeed.

Relationships is The Best Thing Ever,
It keeps us ALIVE.

All those fun times, laughing together,l
Enjoying meals and life.
Ah! It is the air .

All the little extras in life.
Just the little things.
All the sweet things.

That is what makes all this Worth it!

 

[tokayeahok]

just got back from my walk and i’m exhausted. took me an hour and a half today, to walk 5 miles. lmao.


doing some skin care, washing my hair etc now. going to work on a music commission that’s been really hard to get through. i don’t normally think of clients in this light but this song is just so bad. and to mix & master it, it’s taking forever which means i have to listen to it over and over again. it’s not even a genre thing but basically someone trying to imitate Grimes & music of the sorts and gosh it just… pains my ears. I never try to talk bad of clients, i never do in fact because it’s always the sweetest people but gosh this song is going over and over in my head for hours and it’s just excruciating.

i wish i could give feedback on the tune itself but it’s one of those ‘well it’s supposed to sound crappy’ artists, which is FINE but it’s like… not a genre problem. i listen to a LOT of music that sounds ‘bad’ to most folks but this one is just a little over the top.


wanted to get that off my chest.

lmao.
anyways, great day so far guys. chickens keeps eating my cats cat food and i’m about fucking sick of these chickens. i run them off and they come right back. wash rinse repeat. anyone have any tips? they’re my neighbors chickens

 

[tokayeahok]

Indeed.

Relationships is The Best Thing Ever,
It keeps us ALIVE.

All those fun times, laughing together,l
Enjoying meals and life.
Ah! It is the air .

All the little extras in life.
Just the little things.
All the sweet things.

That is what makes all this Worth it!

it’s not letting me direct message you so i’ll copy paste what i was going to send -




here’s the meeting details -

every wednesday on Zoom @ 8pm EST.
meeting ID - 843-2422-9880
meeting passcode - 047405

if ANYTHING changes, i’ll be sure to let you know through here an hour or so before so you have all the info. like i said, we don’t care if you’re using, clean from substances, recovering or recovered. we highly encourage plant medicine and the sorts and we don’t have any religious ties similar to AA/NA although we accept anyone who wants to come. it’s just not a traditional recovery space is all & for example say if i mentioned that i went to a rave & did a little ket & MDMA, absolutely no one would give me sharp eyes. we’re not abstinence based, we’re ‘whatever works for you’ based.
it’s a very safe place as well.

 

[Painful One]

1000%, it’s every wednesday night I’ll DM you!

Thank you so much.
Excellent.
I appreciate it.
Keep in mind that I have never done zoom before with the instructions.
I have a brand new I pad though, so I am sure I can do it.

Look forward to it.

 

[Painful One]

just got back from my walk and i’m exhausted. took me an hour and a half today, to walk 5 miles. lmao.


doing some skin care, washing my hair etc now. going to work on a music commission that’s been really hard to get through. i don’t normally think of clients in this light but this song is just so bad. and to mix & master it, it’s taking forever which means i have to listen to it over and over again. it’s not even a genre thing but basically someone trying to imitate Grimes & music of the sorts and gosh it just… pains my ears. I never try to talk bad of clients, i never do in fact because it’s always the sweetest people but gosh this song is going over and over in my head for hours and it’s just excruciating.

i wish i could give feedback on the tune itself but it’s one of those ‘well it’s supposed to sound crappy’ artists, which is FINE but it’s like… not a genre problem. i listen to a LOT of music that sounds ‘bad’ to most folks but this one is just a little over the top.


wanted to get that off my chest.

lmao.
anyways, great day so far guys. chickens keeps eating my cats cat food and i’m about fucking sick of these chickens. i run them off and they come right back. wash rinse repeat. anyone have any tips? they’re my neighbors chickens

If you want me to give some feedback on the song, post it up,
I will keep in mind, it is gonna suck. lol.

You need to go ask neighbor if you can help him build a coop for the chickens,, or secure them.
if persists, cook and eat fresh chicken.

 

[Painful One]

it’s not letting me direct message you so i’ll copy paste what i was going to send -




here’s the meeting details -

every wednesday on Zoom @ 8pm EST.
meeting ID - 843-2422-9880
meeting passcode - 047405

if ANYTHING changes, i’ll be sure to let you know through here an hour or so before so you have all the info. like i said, we don’t care if you’re using, clean from substances, recovering or recovered. we highly encourage plant medicine and the sorts and we don’t have any religious ties similar to AA/NA although we accept anyone who wants to come. it’s just not a traditional recovery space is all & for example say if i mentioned that i went to a rave & did a little ket & MDMA, absolutely no one would give me sharp eyes. we’re not abstinence based, we’re ‘whatever works for you’ based.
it’s a very safe place as well.

Perfect.

I just followed you, I think that makes it so you can dm me.
So, I just type in zoom and then I can find you from there with those codes?
Sorry, I am back in time.

 

[kiely]

thank you

that was very pretty

like poetry

 

[thatmf]

One week sober.

Didn't get any sleep last night. Lucky i had nothing important to do today.

Got a call from the drug clinic, and everything is finally sorted for me to enter rehab at the end of the month. Just have to give breathalyzer tests in the days leading up to it to prove i'm sober when i enter treatment.

Visited my mom for lunch and had a good chat. Our family is pretty dysfunctional, so actually being able to enjoy time together is always nice.

It's been a good day. Mostly i'm just feeling relieved after two months of fighting with bureaucracy. I think i'll write an apology letter to the social worker i snapped at (or have one of her colleagues relay the message), but i have to say that everything became a lot easier when i began dealing directly with the clinic.

Good stuff! An apology never hurts, I went off at a social worker years ago but apologised to her. They try their best with what limited resources and time they have. Will you be allowed phone etc in rehab?

 

[thatmf]

just got back from my walk and i’m exhausted. took me an hour and a half today, to walk 5 miles. lmao.


doing some skin care, washing my hair etc now. going to work on a music commission that’s been really hard to get through. i don’t normally think of clients in this light but this song is just so bad. and to mix & master it, it’s taking forever which means i have to listen to it over and over again. it’s not even a genre thing but basically someone trying to imitate Grimes & music of the sorts and gosh it just… pains my ears. I never try to talk bad of clients, i never do in fact because it’s always the sweetest people but gosh this song is going over and over in my head for hours and it’s just excruciating.

i wish i could give feedback on the tune itself but it’s one of those ‘well it’s supposed to sound crappy’ artists, which is FINE but it’s like… not a genre problem. i listen to a LOT of music that sounds ‘bad’ to most folks but this one is just a little over the top.


wanted to get that off my chest.

lmao.
anyways, great day so far guys. chickens keeps eating my cats cat food and i’m about fucking sick of these chickens. i run them off and they come right back. wash rinse repeat. anyone have any tips? they’re my neighbors chickens

like one of those looping 16 bar early Drake tracks that were engineered by like 50 people and have that god-damn awful clap? (Just kidding, I love Drake).

I'm thinking of picking up guitar again. When I play keys I shit off my neighbours (break their little hearts) and I'm thinking one day of getting back into music production, but just finding myself a bit with guitar and brushing up on theory. I've got a shitload of PTSD associated with music production, last time I did it was the night some creepy old dude moved into my supported accomodation (kinda like a hostel/hospice?) and he kept barging into my room and screwing with my head. Exposed himself to me several times as well. Strange guy. But yeah I figure starting something like guitar I can build on it and eventually get over my FL studio fear.

 

[kiely]

good morning i hope everyone stays well
it's nice that we all can

 

[Painful One]

Yeah, I have always felt like I belong in music.
I have a good heart and soul.
I think I could write some good songs.
I always see songs coming out with lyrics I thought of before.

I think I was a Rock Star in a past life.

Music is the one passion that is strong in me.
Plus, I need to find a line of work where I can kick it.
I am not up to manual labor.

 

[tokayeahok]

h

like one of those looping 16 bar early Drake tracks that were engineered by like 50 people and have that god-damn awful clap? (Just kidding, I love Drake).

I'm thinking of picking up guitar again. When I play keys I shit off my neighbours (break their little hearts) and I'm thinking one day of getting back into music production, but just finding myself a bit with guitar and brushing up on theory. I've got a shitload of PTSD associated with music production, last time I did it was the night some creepy old dude moved into my supported accomodation (kinda like a hostel/hospice?) and he kept barging into my room and screwing with my head. Exposed himself to me several times as well. Strange guy. But yeah I figure starting something like guitar I can build on it and eventually get over my FL studio fear.

yeah i remember your hesitation to work on production… that’s a tricky one and all i can think of is to make the best memories and experiences with it now to replace the bad ones

fruity loops user here too

 

[tokayeahok]

Perfect.

I just followed you, I think that makes it so you can dm me.
So, I just type in zoom and then I can find you from there with those codes?
Sorry, I am back in time.

that’s right, just remember its only on wednesdays at 8 EST so if you try any other time it won’t work yeah, i have the ‘zoom’ app on my phone and it works well. if you can’t get it on mobile you can do it on pc

 

[Painful One]

Thanks for the supportive comments, everyone.



I'm actually in northern Europe, so pretty far from Murray.

I'm going to rehab for alcoholism, and the treatment is abstinence-based. I'm over acute withdrawals anyway. I'm sure they'll give me a sleeping pill if i need one, but i think i'll sleep OK if i don't have to share a room with another patient. I sure hope i get my own room.



Yeah. I've dealt with social workers and medical staff who were just straight up cunts, but this lady sincerely tried her best. She just wasn't equipped for dealing with a headcase like me. No excuse for the verbal abuse i gave her.

I'll have my phone with me and will even be allowed to leave the grounds during certain hours after my first week there. Which is great, since i actually have to do a bunch of stuff like getting new ID and paying some debts during my stint.

I see. Sorry, I thought you were coming off opiates and I don’t know what I was thinking to think you were close to me.
I needed my coffee, just waking up, please excuse.

You have already come a long way.
I will be praying for you.

You can do this.
Just rest, meditate, and try to stay calm.
I think it is smart to go get some help with that.
I bet the anxiety from that is really hard.
* hugs

Just take things one at a time.
I wish you all the best.

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

The ego will shut you off from your emotions to protect you. But this creates an inner conflict. One part will want to stay down in the ditch, the other will want you to climb out.

Allow yourself to feel. Make the painful realizations. Don’t run from the uncomfortable emotions, don’t numb them, don’t smoke or drink them away.

Sit with them instead, experience the frustration, and bawl your eyes out. Allow yourself to feel down and experience the dark places.

If you’re neck-deep in shit, accept it fully.


Everything else is just lying to yourself.

^^^I’m trying to be strong enough to do this
I want to face this and be rid of it!
Why is cleaning out the closet always the hardest job?

I want to recover.
I want to be rid of this pain.
I want to join LIFE again.
People need me.
I need me.

I have realized that I need to clean my closet. Face The Darkness and release it.
I don’t want to be giving the most horrific times in my life free rent in my mind and body.
Need to throw them out!

Courage everyone.
So much love to you all.
Keep trying everyone.
We have a lot to look forward to.

Many blessings

 

[Jabberwocky]

. They try their best with what limited resources and time they have.

I've been trying to adopt this mindset. It's true. However I too have animosity toward some practices and even some specific people who I no longer know.

I like to think that there is some sort of reason, however strange, that people are how they are.

Whether it be misinformed, unusual experience, easily manipulated, extreme emotions, etc -

So it's hard to suss out exactly what is what.

That said I try to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm stable myself and able to be impartial