Tapering Need advice from benz knowledgeables

[loopeternal]

Hey everyone
Mod, sorry if this is the wrong forum.

So I am an addict, hitting 40 in a few years and I want to get clean. Lots of bad shit going down the last few years. My drug(s) of choice has always been weed and speed, preferably at the same time. But give me any substance and Im doing it kinda person. Not proud.

A few weeks back I came off a several months (3 maybe 4?) long binge of mentioned life style 24/7 with everything that comes with that. Loads and loads of speed.
When I finally managed to quit this time around I bought a total of 45mg xanax from a dealer to alleviate the aftermath, overkill but yeah. You know how it goes.

About 2.5 weeks later I realize I am totally empty on them, directly getting 250mg diazepam that I could luckily get ahold of which I guess also was a bit overkill but I dont have a lot of knowledge of bensos, maybe it wasnt?
Bought them to try to be safe since I previously have had 2 drug induced grand mal seizures, one coming from xanax abstinence.

So I get home, and yea those Diazepams were gone within less than a week. Went back to my dealer, sadly no more than like 4 pills of 5mg Diazepam available at this point so I get them for free and buy 30mg more of xanax.
Yea I obviously dont know what I am doing really and my question to you wonderful people out there is: how would a reasonable tapering schedule look like in my situation to avoid another seizure?

The other shit with semi bad withdrawals of different types I can handle at least pretty okay, not a tough guy by any means. Not what I am saying at all.
I am kinda scared of another grand mal, specially since I live alone on the country side at this point. I stopped breathing the last time and traumatized my then girlfriend which is fucking awful.

Weight: 60 kgs
Sex: Male
Total time passed during situation described above: maybe 4 weeks
Total amount of xanax consumed at this point: 51mg
Total amount of Diazepam consumed at this point: 265mg

I am currently sitting on 24mg xanax and 15mg diazepam.

Any thoughts, comments are appriated!

EDIT: Got the amount of Diazepam bought and consumed wrong, thanks elgoucho9 for pointing out something was off and also ending your message the way you did, it felt comforting.

 

[cdin]

Hey everyone
Mod, sorry if this is the wrong forum.

So I am an addict, hitting 40 in a few years and I want to get clean. Lots of bad shit going down the last few years. My drug(s) of choice has always been weed and speed, preferably at the same time. But give me any substance and Im doing it kinda person. Not proud.

A few weeks back I came off a several months (3 maybe 4?) long binge of mentioned life style 24/7 with everything that comes with that. Loads and loads of speed.
When I finally managed to quit this time around I bought a total of 45mg xanax from a dealer to alleviate the aftermath, overkill but yeah. You know how it goes.

About 2.5 weeks later I realize I am totally empty on them, directly getting 50mg diazepam that I could luckily get ahold of which I guess also was a bit overkill but I dont have a lot of knowledge of bensos, maybe it wasnt?
Bought them to try to be safe since I previously have had 2 drug induced grand mal seizures, one coming from xanax abstinence.

So I get home, and yea those Diazepams were gone within less than a week. Went back to my dealer, sadly no more than like 4 pills of 5mg Diazepam available at this point so I get them for free and buy 30mg more of xanax.
Yea I obviously dont know what I am doing really and my question to you wonderful people out there is: how would a reasonable tapering schedule look like in my situation to avoid another seizure?

The other shit with semi bad withdrawals of different types I can handle at least pretty okay, not a tough guy by any means. Not what I am saying at all.
I am kinda scared of another grand mal, specially since I live alone on the country side at this point. I stopped breathing the last time and traumatized my then girlfriend which is fucking awful.

Weight: 60 kgs
Sex: Male
Total time passed during situation described above: maybe 4 weeks
Total amount of xanax consumed at this point: 51mg
Total amount of Diazepam consumed at this point: 50mg

I am currently sitting on 24mg xanax and 15mg diazepam.

Any thoughts, comments are appriated!

Well, you need to taper quickly - the prior seizures make it sicker for sure. If there’s any way to have a medical professional involved - I would recommend that.

First thing you gotta do is find your minimum daily comfortable dose - try and get it to one dose a day if possible and start reducing slowly. It’s much easier to do with a longer acting benzo - why telling a doc and getting a valium rx makes this whole thing much easier.

 

[elgoucho9]

Can you clarify for me what you mean by mg because something about your post doesn't make sense.

Milligrams (MG), refers to the dose of the tablet.

1mg of Alprazolam (Xanax) = 20mg of Valium (Diazepam).

So how many tablets of the xanax have you gone through? Cos if you took 45MG of Xanax (Xanax normally comes in 1mg tablets, some illicit presses can be more) one week, then 50MG Valium would be less than the equivelant to what you were taking in one day of Xanax. As in it wouldn't touch the sides.

I suspect there's something up with your post and when you clarify it will make sense and Bluelight can help you.

 

[loopeternal]

Well, you need to taper quickly - the prior seizures make it sicker for sure. If there’s any way to have a medical professional involved - I would recommend that.

First thing you gotta do is find your minimum daily comfortable dose - try and get it to one dose a day if possible and start reducing slowly. It’s much easier to do with a longer acting benzo - why telling a doc and getting a valium rx makes this whole thing much easier.

I am grateful for you being direct with me (english is not my first language) about the prior seizures and how that makes it worse but fuck me Im scared.
Im in Sweden and sadly we are way way behind regarding health care when it comes to addiction. Great stigma. No doctor would prescribe what is needed, I have tried. But I guess I could try keeping hope up and start calling like exactly everyone in reachable proximity.

But I am 99% certain that my only option, if involving health care, is first going to the psych emergency place, which leads to being checked into a "detox department" if there is room available. An option many people in other countries dont even have, so I understand its a privilege but maaaan, those places are dark. And the days are long. Last option for me but yea I dont wanna start involuntary break dance ever again in my life so it is an option. But fuck it sucks bad.

I hear you about the long lasting benzos and I am deeply dissapointed in myself that I didnt use the ones I bought as intended.
Thanks for your reply! I will try it out first thing tomorrow, finding my minimum daily comfortable dose.

Edit: "getting a valium rx makes this whole thing much easier" - I really, really wish this was an actual possibility.

 

[loopeternal]

Can you clarify for me what you mean by mg because something about your post doesn't make sense.

Milligrams (MG), refers to the dose of the tablet.

1mg of Alprazolam (Xanax) = 20mg of Valium (Diazepam).

So how many tablets of the xanax have you gone through? Cos if you took 45MG of Xanax (Xanax normally comes in 1mg tablets, some illicit presses can be more) one week, then 50MG Valium would be less than the equivelant to what you were taking in one day of Xanax. As in it wouldn't touch the sides.

I suspect there's something up with your post and when you clarify it will make sense and Bluelight can help you.

Hey dude, thanks. I edited my initial post after your reply.
I hear you about the mgs refering to the dose of the tablet.

So regarding the whole thing this is fairly accurate I think:

• Bought 45mg of xanax, used them over 2.5 weeks
• Suddenly () I am empty, directly buying 250mg Valium that I consume over a maybe a little less than a week. I did not intend to do that but I guess its obvious at this point
• Again heading to my dealer that now is empty on Valium, except for a few 5mg pills, 4 of them, so instead I resort to buying more xanax which is the only common available benz on the black market around here, I bought 30mg.
• To answer how many tablets of xanax I have gone through at this point - 51 (they are 1mg here as well btw, coming in from eastern europe which makes your point about the doses maybe not being really accurate valid- no one controlling them obviously)
  
  Again, thanks for your optimistic ending of the reply

 

[cdin]

I am grateful for you being direct with me (english is not my first language) about the prior seizures and how that makes it worse but fuck me Im scared.
Im in Sweden and sadly we are way way behind regarding health care when it comes to addiction. Great stigma. No doctor would prescribe what is needed, I have tried. But I guess I could try keeping hope up and start calling like exactly everyone in reachable proximity.

But I am 99% certain that my only option, if involving health care, is first going to the psych emergency place, which leads to being checked into a "detox department" if there is room available. An option many people in other countries dont even have, so I understand its a privilege but maaaan, those places are dark. And the days are long. Last option for me but yea I dont wanna start involuntary break dance ever again in my life so it is an option. But fuck it sucks bad.

I hear you about the long lasting benzos and I am deeply dissapointed in myself that I didnt use the ones I bought as intended.
Thanks for your reply! I will try it out first thing tomorrow, finding my minimum daily comfortable dose.

Edit: "getting a valium rx makes this whole thing much easier" - I really, really wish this was an actual possibility.

I know the rock and a hard place feeling for sure. But as you well know - NOTHING is worth dying flopping like a fish in a tub with a hairdryer while hallucinating your ass off.

 

[loopeternal]

So this morning I notice the last post I wrote has vanished - sorry if I was out of line and/or broke the forum rules.
If this is the case and mod has the patience I would like to know why so I dont repeat the mistake, I will be reading the rules after hitting post now tho so maybe just ignore this message

Anyways, sorry about that if this was the case. Peace.

EDIT: So yea that post that vanished included me being wack, ignorant regarding oral sex between men, really sorry about that. I know better. Thanks Mod.

 

[loopeternal]

So since my initial post I have at this point also consumed of 40mg Klonazepam. Tomorrow I have to buy more and I actually belive I can taper at home succesfully this time since FINALLY a scary PVP is long gone. I have no other drugs at home.

I WISH that I instead could get my hands on some Diazepam. I know I must taper. But Im feeling fucking lost and ended up here due to using a PVP for the first time in my life, I have never experienced that level of anxiety from a drug that was just taken seconds ago. I mean like I guess we all know there are plenty of drugs that will include crippling anxiety on the comedown or whatever but this was ongoing from my first dose, solution - bensos.... I fucked up. Besides the reasonable advice @cdin has given. but that I just wont take (thank you tho)

Is there any? Benso comedown remedies? I can and will search info on that on the forum myself aswell tho.
Lost lost lost

 

[PtahTek]

It is customary to real forum guidelines before posting.
Best of luck with this taper seems like yer eating everything you get hands on which is not a taper iirc.
Where ya at with dosing at this point? Daily?
This sub forum is not a BS session. Just the facts, please and thanks.
Peace

 

[loopeternal]

Yeah I fucked that one up. I tried to apologize.

Hmm, 'eating everything you get your hands on' - yea, i fucked up with the Diazepam since I still had uppers at home at that point. I am an addict and I am scared of having a third grand mal seizure after a relapse with barely any knowledge of benz. It has never been my drug of choice but sometimes it comes with the territory being a speed/upper freak/addict. This was my first and last time with a pvp, benz was a must have for me to be able to enjoy it.
Im off the uppers now.

Daily dosing atm is 3mg Klonazepam
I have 25mg at this point and I want to get off them as soon as possible. Will not buy more, even if I wanted to I would not be able to.

Tried to keep it straight facts.
Peace to you aswell ☯

 

[loopeternal]

Got the pill box all setup

• 16 Oct - 2mg
• 17 Oct - 1.5mg
• 18 Oct - 1,5mg
• 19 Oct - 1.5mg
• 20 Oct - 1.5mg
• 21 Oct - 1.5mg
• 22 Oct - 1,5mg
• 23 Oct - 1.5mg
• 24 Oct - 1,5mg
• 25 Oct - 1mg
• 26 Oct - 1mg
• 27 Oct - 1mg
• 28 Oct - 1mg
• 29 Oct - 1mg
  
  Jump from there?
  Or do a couple of days of 0,5mg?
  
  Thougths?
  Prayers?

 

[BadBoy377]

From what I've read , mate, you probably need to be doing a week 0.5mg maybe even a week 0.25. Maybe even week 0.25 alternative days

I would suggest looking at the Ashton manual.

Best of luck

BB

 

[loopeternal]

I will adjust accordingly. Also looking into the manual.
Thank you @BadBoy377

Also got a hearing at the cops today, that luck is much needed so thanks again.

 

[PtahTek]

Yeah I fucked that one up. I tried to apologize.

Hmm, 'eating everything you get your hands on' - yea, i fucked up with the Diazepam since I still had uppers at home at that point. I am an addict and I am scared of having a third grand mal seizure after a relapse with barely any knowledge of benz. It has never been my drug of choice but sometimes it comes with the territory being a speed/upper freak/addict. This was my first and last time with a pvp, benz was a must have for me to be able to enjoy it.
Im off the uppers now.

Daily dosing atm is 3mg Klonazepam
I have 25mg at this point and I want to get off them as soon as possible. Will not buy more, even if I wanted to I would not be able to.

Tried to keep it straight facts.
Peace to you aswell ☯

Apologies for being dickish. Wasn't my intent.
My bad.
Are we trying to get off benzos and keep using uppers?
Maybe I go back through and read all posts over again and possibly we come up with some H&R material that can help us all out.
Love,
J

 

[loopeternal]

No worries, and it IS true what your wrote.
No way dude, the uppers have fucked my life completely.

I want to get off the benz AND stay off the uppers
I have been sticking to my current plan from a few posts ago and will post an updated version after getting valuable info from BB377.

Although drugs like DMXE (dissos I guess?) I find really helpful for my mental health but I guess that might be a slippery slope aswell?
I wouls like to be able to do those and/or LSD once in a while if possible.

I don't find SSRI, SNRI and the likes very helpful. Its really a shame that the mental healthcare isnt more advanced yet.

Peace & Love!

 

[BadBoy377]

Hey man,

I really hope it is helpful. Bear in mind I'm no expert and I'm not a doctor.

1mg clonazepam is apparently equivalent to 20mg Diaz but not quite so long lasting. You've been taking high doses of benzos recently, taking different benzos and have history of seizures. So for all those reasons if I was you I would get that dose as close to zero before you stop. N probably have a couple doses spare in case you start shaking after you stop so you can get yourself to ER in one piece.

About taking other drugs prescribed or not. From reading your own posts you seem to use compulsively without restraint as opposed to responsibly. Like you've dosed yourself into a corner where you're kinda stuck but you still have an out and your starting to manage your situation responsibly and give yourself some hope. See it out n you should be ok. But moving forward once you've finished your taper and are free I'd strongly suggest avoiding alcohol and substances for a couple of months with exception of coffee, nicotine and weed (depending on how it affects you). Take couple months off n be sure you do some exercise most days n try n get out in fresh air. See how you feel at the end then. N if you treat it like an ordeal n are counting down the days until that period is done n you can have a line a drink or whatever. Well, you're fucked. N should probably seek more professional help. But if you can do it and genuinely take it or leave these things then you'll be truly free...

Feel free to tell me to go fuck myself. But just consider that.

Hope it all works out for you

BB

 

[loopeternal]

1mg clonazepam is apparently equivalent to 20mg Diaz but not quite so long lasting. You've been taking high doses of benzos recently, taking different benzos and have history of seizures. So for all those reasons if I was you I would get that dose as close to zero before you stop. N probably have a couple doses spare in case you start shaking after you stop so you can get yourself to ER in one piece.

For sure will, I am going with the proposed method from your last post. Every other day 0.25, and a few spares just in case. They are 2mg per pill and are meant to be able to and will break into 4 pieces so I guess it will be kinda hard to be exact with the dose coming down to 0.25mg? (1/4 is 0.5 just to be clear, sorry if im overexplaining shit )

I really hope it is helpful. Bear in mind I'm no expert and I'm not a doctor.

Don't worry man, I am just grateful for advice from people that know better than myself. Actually I've been helped way more by this thread here on bluelight than by any healtcare over here.

From reading your own posts you seem to use compulsively without restraint as opposed to responsibly.

Yes. This is the truth. I am not sure it has to be this way always, my life has kinda sucked the last few years (my own fault) and my compulsiveness has gotten worse. I want to belive that when I have my shit together again I could do dissos and psychadelics. But I understand that it might just be the druggie in me doing wishful thinking.

Take couple months off n be sure you do some exercise most days n try n get out in fresh air. See how you feel at the end then.

I will do this. Just got outside yesterday for the first time in months, just walking the forest. Gotta start easy lol.

Feel free to tell me to go fuck myself. But just consider that.

I am out of those for this week, I will let you off with a thank you

 

[BadBoy377]

Hey man,

That's good. I'm glad, thanks, I do come across as a bit of a dick in my last post but I'm just trying to help. I'm rooting for you and genuinely want you to succeed. And I think you got this and you will!

As for the 0.25mg dosage, I see the problem. Yeah sounds like same clonaz tabs I get. Eyeballing it isn't really reliable. I'd suggest two solutions. Powder n weigh each pill on a reliable mg scale n take appropiate weight. But best thing would be volumetric dosing solution. I've never actually done this but say you get a couple of graduated syringes and dissolve a 2mg pill in 16ml water, then 1ml would contain 0.125mg clonazepam. That's what I'd probably do. Or scale it up depending on how it dissolves. Google it n you should fin out more, more than likely on this fine site. Or perhaps there's a bit in Ashton, I can't remember.

But mate, if you're sticking to your taper n not fucking about with any other substances then respect. You're doing amazing and it sounds like you totally got this. Keep it up!

I guess what's in the past is in the past. N we all have shit that makes us fuck up the future at times but that stuff doesn't matter if we're moving forward and getting better.

Keep at it, you're doing great.

BB

 

[loopeternal]

Thanks man!
Thats great encouragement @BadBoy377

I gotta admit tho, I've fucked up two days in a row the last few days. Had some rage inducing issues (excuses.... I know) and I think I had 2.5mg at most both days. Maybe 3mg.
Totally unecessary aswell. Didnt feel a change really breaking the schedule...
Feel kinda bad you putting in time with the encouragement. Peace & love to you man.

And I did acid the day after. It was good tho but like yea, I gotta have something all the fucking time... Waiting to get clean for Adhd eval btw. Im hoping I fucking have it enough so that they put me on the shit I need and then keep me under control with the pissing. I think I would be able to stay clean then. I dont want to relapse one more time. So tired of this life.

I will go with the dissolving method since I threw away all of my scales at another point in life trying to get clean, although my pills are already broken in 1/4s at this point so I guess I can divide your equation by 4 right?
In theory following the manual or other healthcare advice I will be going too fast with my new schedule which looks like this. I think I can tolerate it but you guys might have another opinion and thats cool, would like to hear them. Thats why I am here

• 21 Oct - 0.5mg
• 22 Oct - 0.5mg
• 23 Oct - 0.5mg
• 24 Oct - 0.5mg
• 25 Oct - 0.5mg
• 26 Oct - 0.5mg
• 27 Oct - 0.5mg
  • 28 Oct - 0.25mg
  • 29 Oct - 0.25mg
  • 30 Oct - 0.25mg
  • 31 Oct - 0.25mg
  • 1 Nov - 0.25mg
  • 2 Nov - 0.25mg
  • 3 Nov - 0.25mg
    • 4 Nov - 0.25mg
    • 5 Nov - pause
    • 6 Nov - 0.25mg
    • 7 Nov - pause
    • 8 Nov - 0.25mg
    • 9 Nov - pause
    • 10 Nov - 0.25mg

This will result with me having some spares!
Small ones (0.5mg) but still.

 

[BadBoy377]

Peace and love back at you @loopeternal

Don't feel bad on my account, mate. You're doing really well. A wee slip isn't that big a deal. You're still sticking with it and it's not like you've gone fuck it n gone on a bender. Just keep with it n I'm sure it will work out ok.

See how you feel in a few days. Worse case you might feel a bit more anxious and have to re up dose a little. Maybe the acid will help a bit who knows but you're probably gonna be more emotionally stable just sticking to as few substances as possible. Ideally just clonazepam.

Yeah. You're going too fast but I'm doing the same. Sometimes I just have to recalibrate or adjust. I think it should be ok.

Yeah divide by four but using whole pills will be more consistent and consistency is what you want especially at the smallest doses. Bit of a cunt of a jigsaw that to try n match them up again only to dissolve

I'd just stick with what you have n divide by four.

PM me anytime if you need a vent or to talk over any schedule changes. I'll help if I can.