Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

[kiely]

I am trying stay on track and I really appreciate

Awesome. Thank you for your contribution.

 

[MedicinalUser247]

When you say cigars do you mean the little cigarillos that come 3-5 in a pack?

No I mean the cigarillos that come in 20 a pack. I smoke 40 of them a day. The brand I smoke is Double Diamonds.

 

[elgoucho9]

I wake up with a hangover, but I don't suffer with it. I don't resign myself to it. I don't regret. I own it.

This is what I do with hangovers, now. I lean into them. I feel them. I learn from them. I don't fight.

Last night I had a couple of grams of mushrooms and about four tabs of acid, plus 5 beers (or so?) and most of a bottle of Sambuca.

I wake up with a hangover, but I wake up with God.

God is everything. The hangover is nothing.

Bring it on.

I'm tired of punishing myself.

What has this got to do with recovery you getting twatted?

I'm guessing this is why your other post got deleted too.

 

[Frog Dreams]

A huge part of my recovery is finally owning who I am rather than rejecting myself.

There's a lot of talk on here about getting twatted.

Regret is acceptable. Shame is acceptable.

Why not ownership?

 

[Jnowhere]

Wow, Frog Dreams, you got Nurse Ratched to laugh, and me to agree; it must have been bad. Wrong thread, you need to start one; I am a drunk and and a druggie and I own it.
To MedicinalUser247, try one less a day per week. First week take one out of a pack each day and save it. Second week 2, till you have 18 on second week, and use them that day, yes I know that would be 19 on 6th day of week two.
When things get tough, keep a record, and allow yourself 12 weeks of no reduction. Use them sparingly. When it gets tough and hopefully in a year you will quit. Nicotine, even if not from chew(Kodiak, Copenhagen, skoal) and cigarettes is one of the hardest substances around to quit.
I know people will say use this or that for the oral fixation, but it really is about nicotine, addiction to nicotine and having something that is yours to enjoy and relax with. I get it. This should be a little easier than cigarettes, because I take it you don't inhale and try to get it in your lungs. If for some reason you able to inhale those. If you do, you really really need to quit. 2 packs a day would kill your lungs, but mouth cancer, although not as common as lung cancer, is really horrible. They may have to chop off a large part off your face and you might still die. Good luck buddy, I know the power of nicotine, it will not be easy to quit, that is why I recommend a slow process of stopping. Besides those damn things smell horrible.

.

 

[Frog Dreams]

I honestly don't understand why it's the wrong thread.

I went to AA a couple of times. They teach you to hate yourself. To hide from yourself. That's not recovery.

 

[elgoucho9]

Because it's got nothing to do with recovery. There is a whole forum outside this thread of other places you can chat or talk about what you've taken etc Drug Culture has morning fix, what have you had this afternoon, and a night time fix, threads. Expand your horizons.

I'm not having a go i'm just telling you why i think your post got deleted.

 

[Frog Dreams]

This - ownership - is a huge part of my recovery.

I've been posting in this thread (and other iterations) for over 20 years about trying to quit drinking and taking drugs.

Trying to force myself against my will to quit things has caused me and the people around me significant pain.

I am not going to quit and that's okay.

When I try to quit, I inevitably end up relapsing hard. My use gets worse.

I know I'm not alone.

I've been: a heroin addict, a methadone addict, a DXM addict, a nicotine addict, a marijuana addict, a mushroom addict, a meth addict, a benzo addict, an alcoholic and a poly-drug junkie.

Now, I'm in a good place.

Opiates and benzos and amphetamines are toxic for me. Alcohol, too. I shouldn't drink as much as I do... but psychedelic drugs are healing for me.

Heroin hurts me. It takes me backwards. LSD is the opposite.

 

[elgoucho9]

Tonight marks 2 weeks since my last slip up with booze/crack cocaine. Bang on 7 weeks off heroin and any serious benders/fuck ups. Also more recently decided to pan off smoking weed after near 20 years of daily use. This is probably the cleanest I've been since I started doing drugs, my mentality is so much better, outlook more positive and relations with everyone are the healthiest they've been in a while.

Came off Facebook and all social media, cut off all the clingons and drug connections. Still been using the odd pregablin to counter the weed withdrawal which I'm aware I also need to cut that out, but had to bridge with something to combat the insomia.

Kind of sad that so many people had to go but there was no other way without me running back into trouble. Decided to sell my car since I'll be facing a driving ban at some point for coming back positive for cocaine on the swab test. Which selling the car will give me money to get back on my own two feet. Planning to relocate and turn my life around. No drug contacts or associating with anyone purely to get high - part of the reason the weed had to go. I'm back in contact with addiction counsellor and waiting to get put back onto my old therapist. Hoping all that will set me in good stead to live a normal life away from drug addiction. In an ideal world I'd like to make some meaningful relationships with people who have a positive impact on the world. I've spent too much of my life in a living hell due to my addiction issues.

 

[Jnowhere]

You have a sober friend, if you want one. well I take a couple of perscription meds from my doctor, but nothing else. I do not drink or smoke pot. Besides I live in America.
It is wonderful to hear that you are really being sober. I don't know how things are in The UK, sorry but I have to ask; ( I have had my own legal troubles, the worst was a DUI, my liver wouldn't process alcohol and I was on a bindge after my little sister and only true friend and sibling died) but I got to know, do they still where those wigs in UK courts? I am not trying to be funny. I just gotta know. Anyways, it is great to hear you are really trying to be sober and being successful.
Wow that thing about a cheek swab, they don't do that here. There are people in my area who are around my age and I know they party, I have avoided making friends with them to avoid temptation to smoke pot and who knows what else.
I truly hope and pray you can stay sober. I have seen documentaries and it seems there is a hugh drug scene there. Yes, we have drug problem here too, but it seems bigger there. Am I wrong, I hope so. It is tough not having friends, but anyone who will bring you down ain't a friend. I wish you the best and hope you can stay strong. Having friends and having to avoid them and being sober must be very difficult. Hopefully, you can find sober friends and lead a regular sober life.

 

[kiely]

So nauseous and everything seems like it is making me sick. I need to eat. But the only thing I can stomach or actually get it all down is chocolate chip cookies and regular coke. But it felt so good to eat. Oh so good to be able to. I love you sugar ! ( cane )

 

[thatmf]

Saw my doc today, my anxiety's been getting the best of me. I did ask my doc for benzos and she said to try clonidine...I think I'm gonna see a different doctor next time. I'm not addicted to benzos nor ever have been and they've been immensely helpful. So frustrated.

 

[thatmf]

So nauseous and everything seems like it is making me sick. I need to eat. But the only thing I can stomach or actually get it all down is chocolate chip cookies and regular coke. But it felt so good to eat. Oh so good to be able to. I love you sugar ! ( cane )

Pizza for me is a good survival food (something I can stomach on those kind of days!) haha sugar (cane)

 

[Jnowhere]

Kiely, what's wrong, why are you nauseous? I agree sugar is always good, it goes down easy.

 

[Jnowhere]

Saw my doc today, my anxiety's been getting the best of me. I did ask my doc for benzos and she said to try clonidine...I think I'm gonna see a different doctor next time. I'm not addicted to benzos nor ever have been and they've been immensely helpful. So frustrated.

I have always had difficulties with female doctors. They never want to prescribe anything that works. Clonidine is for high blood pressure and is sometimes given for drug withdrawal. If you have never had a benzo problem, then why not anything that would actually help you. Not even a one time no refill script of something that would work?
I prefer male doctors over 50. If they are Asian that wiill be a problem, they will give you nothing. Female, younger and asian doctors are unlikely to write a schedule anything script, and if they do it is a lousy one. Hey, I am sorry but this true, if my mom, sister or my dad were alive would agree. The first 2 always bitched about female, young or Asian doctors refusing to write perscriptions that worked ( schedule drugs) I am not a racist, sexist or age whatever. The truth is the truth. I am middle aged with health issues, and both my mom and sister had medical problems, and older male doctors, who are not Asian are your best bet for a good script. Sorry but the truth is truth. If any physicians in Michigan fall into this any of these categories, and disagree, fine write me a Seconal script, prove me wrong

 

[thatmf]

I have always had difficulties with female doctors. They never want to prescribe anything that works. Clonidine is for high blood pressure and is sometimes given for drug withdrawal. If you have never had a benzo problem, then why not anything that would actually help you. Not even a one time no refill script of something that would work?
I prefer male doctors over 50. If they are Asian that wiill be a problem, they will give you nothing. Female, younger and asian doctors are unlikely to write a schedule anything script, and if they do it is a lousy one. Hey, I am sorry but this true, if my mom, sister or my dad were alive would agree. The first 2 always bitched about female, young or Asian doctors refusing to write perscriptions that worked ( schedule drugs) I am not a racist, sexist or age whatever. The truth is the truth. I am middle aged with health issues, and both my mom and sister had medical problems, and older male doctors, who are not Asian are your best bet for a good script.

Nope. Not even a sheet's worth or a staged dispense supply...Just annoying, not only do I have to drive far to see her, I also now feel invisible and almost stupid for having anxiety. Time to find a new doc I think. Here they can supply whatever number of a drug and I can't see the harm in having some for when shit hits the fan. Thanks for the input

 

[Ds]

I honestly don't understand why it's the wrong thread.

I went to AA a couple of times. They teach you to hate yourself. To hide from yourself. That's not recovery.

Not sure which AA meeting you went to, and sorry that the chick sitting across from you was with a better looking guy.

AA meetings isn't meant to be some place to get sober. Sure you go, and share some shit, but then you leave & that's it.
There's meetings after the meeting.

For instance, I went to a Heroin Anonymous meeting the other night, & gave 3 other dudes a ride to the meeting with me. We were able to talk about life shit. We all went to the meeting & one of those dudes picked up 9 months.
When we left the meeting we fellowshipped about everyone's plan, and current job situations.
Learning to be a productive member of society without drugs and alcohol is what AAs about.
It kept me sober for another day.

 

[Frog Dreams]

We each have different experiences, obviously.

I've been to numerous different meetings - in different suburbs - and they were all awful (for me).

I was told I had to praise God. I refused. I wasn't ready to call myself an alcoholic. I was mocked for both of these things.

AA teaches people that they have no control, but we do have control.

Upon meeting me for the first time, they all tried to convince me that I was an alcoholic. An entire group of people thought it was laughable that I might recover one day and learn to moderate my use. No. I have to never drink again. I have to be afraid of drinking. I have a disease... Why? Because everyone is an alcoholic? Or because they are desperately trying to convince that everyone is powerless?

Nobody is powerless. I don't care if it works (to some extent) to teach people that. It's not true.

I 100% do not believe in the AA approach.

Agree to disagree.

...

Seems like this thread (like AA) provides a particular type of recovery support.

 

[Jnowhere]

thatmf: I guess you live in somewhere other than America. But what I said is true about young, female and Asian doctors. I have no bigotry in my heart only reality. And what my family and I had experienced. Wasted time and gas. Find a better doctor, a male over 50.
And the female doctor is proof. Where ever you live and what ever the system is, find someone who cares, if that is possible, and get something that helps, preferably a benzo with a long half life, and use them sparingly.
Clonidine for severe anxiety, that is like a bad joke. But long term benzo use, is something I regret. I truly hope and pray you get someone who will help you and give you something that will help your anxiety. You should be careful with them and take them properly and preferably short term. Anxiety can be managed and it can also cause many problems, untreated.

 

[Shady's Fox]

This - ownership - is a huge part of my recovery.

I've been posting in this thread (and other iterations) for over 20 years about trying to quit drinking and taking drugs.

Trying to force myself against my will to quit things has caused me and the people around me significant pain.

I am not going to quit and that's okay.

When I try to quit, I inevitably end up relapsing hard. My use gets worse.

I know I'm not alone.

I've been: a heroin addict, a methadone addict, a DXM addict, a nicotine addict, a marijuana addict, a mushroom addict, a meth addict, a benzo addict, an alcoholic and a poly-drug junkie.

Now, I'm in a good place.

Opiates and benzos and amphetamines are toxic for me. Alcohol, too. I shouldn't drink as much as I do... but psychedelic drugs are healing for me.

Heroin hurts me. It takes me backwards. LSD is the opposite.

Relax friend, in the end, your own shirt fails to grab you from behind. Nowadays your number 1 intuition is yourself and you only.

These flesh carcass are like hyenas and if you cannot adapt then you'll become a mice hunted by sound.