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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

Jnowhere said:
It is great to see you here. I am hoping that this thread can help people, just as it helped me through a tough issue. I wish you all the best and pray and hope that enough people who are knowledgeable in addiction issues will help people in need. I have been told not to do something I didn't write. If you don't see me for a few days, it is probably because I pissed off someone with power. Anyways I hope you can be strong, I am struggling with issues but I am really using restraint now when it comes to pills. I am free of one of them. I really need to figure out what to do about the other 2, They help but they got a hold on me.
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Thank you so much
One day at a time or
One moment at a time
Many blessings to you 💜
 
thatmf said:
Thank you! Means a lot to me. I managed to do a grocery shop and pick up some food. Went for a walk as well. I'm really confused as to why my head's a bit broken all of a sudden. But hopefully I spiral up not down :)
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De nada :)
That’s pretty good getting the grocery shop & a walk in when you’re feeling how you’re feelin.
My brains been kinda broken too lately. This is a difficult time of year for me & going through some other stuff. I’ve been having flashbacks lately to some stuff … it was in the month of November that I had to escape an extremely violent situation & almost died. It’s a long story but anyways it’s interesting how the body & mind can remember certain things or be triggered by certain things … like something as simple as the weather getting cooler & seeing the leaves fall from the trees & blowing around on the ground can literally bring on flashbacks & memories.

I was reading this book that was explaining things with the nervous system & different parts of the brain & so many things can trigger memories, ptsd, anxiety, flashbacks ect…. like a smell, a noise, sound, song ect. Sometimes it’s easy to see what it is & other times it’s hard to tell.

Anyways, I hope I made any sense, I’m super sleep deprived & didn’t mean to ramble. It just made me think of that when you were saying you didn’t know what triggered or brought on what you’re experiencing
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
De nada :)
That’s pretty good getting the grocery shop & a walk in when you’re feeling how you’re feelin.
My brains been kinda broken too lately. This is a difficult time of year for me & going through some other stuff. I’ve been having flashbacks lately to some stuff … it was in the month of November that I had to escape an extremely violent situation & almost died. It’s a long story but anyways it’s interesting how the body & mind can remember certain things or be triggered by certain things … like something as simple as the weather getting cooler & seeing the leaves fall from the trees & blowing around on the ground can literally bring on flashbacks & memories.

I was reading this book that was explaining things with the nervous system & different parts of the brain & so many things can trigger memories, ptsd, anxiety, flashbacks ect…. like a smell, a noise, sound, song ect. Sometimes it’s easy to see what it is & other times it’s hard to tell.

Anyways, I hope I made any sense, I’m super sleep deprived & didn’t mean to ramble. It just made me think of that when you were saying you didn’t know what triggered or brought on what you’re experiencing
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That would explain a lot! I moved out of a pretty messed up scenario around this time of the year and it's our first real spring/summer day here. Been sleeping like crap also. You're not rambling :)

The human mind is strange at times... Your book sounds interesting. I need to do some more inner work by the looks of things. It's just crazy around this time of the year all over the world I think. Almost feels like time speeds up for me. Lol

Hope you can catch up on sleep and feel better soon :)
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
My brains been kinda broken too lately. This is a difficult time of year for me & going through some other stuff. I’ve been having flashbacks lately to some stuff … it was in the month of November that I had to escape an extremely violent situation & almost died. It’s a long story but anyways it’s interesting how the body & mind can remember certain things or be triggered by certain things … like something as simple as the weather getting cooler & seeing the leaves fall from the trees & blowing around on the ground can literally bring on flashbacks & memories.

I was reading this book that was explaining things with the nervous system & different parts of the brain & so many things can trigger memories, ptsd, anxiety, flashbacks ect…. like a smell, a noise, sound, song ect. Sometimes it’s easy to see what it is & other times it’s hard to tell.

Anyways, I hope I made any sense, I’m super sleep deprived & didn’t mean to ramble. It just made me think of that when you were saying you didn’t know what triggered or brought on what you’re experiencing
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Hey, sorry to hear what you're going through. I've had kind of a crazy year myself. I totalled one car last December and another one in March. Now I haven't driven in 7 months because I'm afraid to, and even riding with someone freaks me out. I definitely have a touch of PTSD.

I think that my Klonopin usage contributed to my car crashes (and a couple of clumsy incidents around the house) so I stopped taking it back in June, but now my anxiety is through the roof.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make this all about me. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. You've got friends here who care about you.

Hugs,
Dreamflyer
 
Dreamflyer said:
Hey, sorry to hear what you're going through. I've had kind of a crazy year myself. I totalled one car last December and another one in March. Now I haven't driven in 7 months because I'm afraid to, and even riding with someone freaks me out. I definitely have a touch of PTSD.

I think that my Klonopin usage contributed to my car crashes (and a couple of clumsy incidents around the house) so I stopped taking it back in June, but now my anxiety is through the roof.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make this all about me. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. You've got friends here who care about you.

Hugs,
Dreamflyer
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Thank you so much, that was really nice of you. Same to you Dreamflyer :)
Sending you many blessings & a hug 💜
 
What is this, I went grocery shopping too. I hate this time of year. November is a bad month for me too, my mom and sister both died in November years ago.
My dad died in August so now I have been stuck dealing with everything alone. I actually just got the mail and the Federal government sent a sixth notice about some stupid census of college grads they sent it some in some big ass envelope. They need to talk to each other. Maybe I need to tell every government agency my dad is dead. At least I can't drink anymore. He left me with a mess to clean up, I have found out that I am not the loner, I thought I was. Trying to be good with my pills. They are all I look forward to. Gotta talk to my doctor Wednesday. Don't know what to say, anti depressants never helped, but I am off morphine. I just don't know if I can cope without Valium or oxycodone. My body hurts and anxiety is killing me. I told him I wanted off everything, but now I have changed my mind. Hope he is sympathetic. The reality of having no living siblings, parents or grandparents and no close family anywhere near where I live has hit me. I have a horrible mess to clean and organize and nothing motivates me. Sorry to go like this, it has been a bad and painful day. The realization of my dad's death has hit me, and I can't drink and I just can't seem to smoke pot and edibles never worked, even the good ones. Well I hope who ever reads this is doing better than me.
.I hate this my pills kicked in and for a little while I will be happy, and then reality.

.
 
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Jnowhere said:
What is this, I went grocery shopping too. I hate this time of year. November is a bad month for me too, my mom and sister both died in November years ago.
My dad died in August so now I have been stuck dealing with everything alone. I actually just got the mail and the Federal government sent a sixth notice about some stupid census of college grads they sent it some in some big ass envelope. They need to talk to each other. Maybe I need to tell every government agency my dad is dead. At least I can't drink anymore. He left me with a mess to clean up, I have found out that I am not the loner, I thought I was. Trying to be good with my pills. They are all I look forward to. Gotta talk to my doctor Wednesday. Don't know what to say, anti depressants never helped, but I am off morphine. I just don't know if I can cope without Valium or oxycodone. My body hurts and anxiety is killing me. I told him I wanted off everything, but now I have changed my mind. Hope he is sympathetic. The reality of having no living siblings, parents or grandparents and no close family anywhere near where I live has hit me. I have a horrible mess to clean and organize and nothing motivates me. Sorry to go like this, it has been a bad and painful day. The realization of my dad's death has hit me, and I can't drink and I just can't seem to smoke pot and edibles never worked, even the good ones. Well I hope who ever reads this is doing better than me.
.I hate this my pills kicked in and for a little while I will be happy, and then reality.

.
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You’re not alone here Jnowhere, be so gentle with yourself
I will lite a candle for you 💜
 
Jnowhere said:
What is this, I went grocery shopping too. I hate this time of year. November is a bad month for me too, my mom and sister both died in November years ago.
My dad died in August so now I have been stuck dealing with everything alone. I actually just got the mail and the Federal government sent a sixth notice about some stupid census of college grads they sent it some in some big ass envelope. They need to talk to each other. Maybe I need to tell every government agency my dad is dead. At least I can't drink anymore. He left me with a mess to clean up, I have found out that I am not the loner, I thought I was. Trying to be good with my pills. They are all I look forward to. Gotta talk to my doctor Wednesday. Don't know what to say, anti depressants never helped, but I am off morphine. I just don't know if I can cope without Valium or oxycodone. My body hurts and anxiety is killing me. I told him I wanted off everything, but now I have changed my mind. Hope he is sympathetic. The reality of having no living siblings, parents or grandparents and no close family anywhere near where I live has hit me. I have a horrible mess to clean and organize and nothing motivates me. Sorry to go like this, it has been a bad and painful day. The realization of my dad's death has hit me, and I can't drink and I just can't seem to smoke pot and edibles never worked, even the good ones. Well I hope who ever reads this is doing better than me.
.I hate this my pills kicked in and for a little while I will be happy, and then reality.

.
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Just stay safe and choose wisely. Say prayers and ask for love in your heart. Pray to meditate and stay strong.

Try to clear your thoughts and just focus on the feeling that you want help with. Keep asking and focus on this over and over.

Ask for relaxation and comfort for what you are going through and what you need to do and the help to fall asleep to get a proper rest that you need.

Try to meditate and repeat over and over. You don't have to speak it, just feel what need. Need, not want but, need. Focus on what you need over and over in a prayer to clear your head and to get to rest properly.

Feel a comfort of a spirit going through that will help you with what you need. Don't give up and eventually you will know that spirit will be there with strength for you to help you feel a calm with your intense focus and energy that needs this concentration until you are deep into another frequency of floating in the universe.

A sleepy time. Know that you will be alright. Eventually. Because you will.

Ask, feel, look and seek and you will find. You can and will. Please try to focus because there are so many distractions. I don't know how you are going to be alright but ask to find that love and comfort that will be out there and that you will feel for you to keep going on.

Ask and keep asking until that spirit of wanting to can be strong inside of you. It's exhausting to focus over and over on your sincere request and eventually you will drift into a different type of waves when you try with your efforts to rest and you will wake up feeling calm from resting as much as possible from sleep. And from some sleep every time you want to rest and try to calm.

Keep asking in your thoughts with your heart. Keep asking in a meditative type of state to be calm and restful within.

Try to focus on health and comfort and strength and the support that you need. Focus on the good things that you want to stay healthy and rested and calm with. Peacefulness.

And be thankful for all of the good and everything that is positive that you have been left with, and as well, to build on that strength.

You are going through hard times right now. Keep searching to get through this so that you can. I am so sorry that you are feeling bad right now, and rightfully so.

Keep praying so that you can feel better. Use every bit of energy that you have left to do this. And to get some rest that you need to have. Then sleep or keep praying and not begging but do keep that understanding of what you want. Need from the heart and that strength will build around you.

I know you will if you want to. Need health, warmth, comfort not greed. Survival has nothing to do with affluence. It's health comfort and getting that strength from the happiness in your heart from all of the good that can be all that is you in this world despite everything else that isn't.

You can defeat this all. Even if it is always a constant struggle. You will be fine and can be better if you just meditate and ask for what you feel deep down and what hurts the most. So you can heal from what is hurting. So you will, and you will overcome to get through it all.

It might feel weird at first. You might cry a lot. Don't cry too often. Don't feel sorry for yourself just make it count. You can. Try to smile real quick. Use your real energy for what is really important and important to you. For your higher power and all you do have to be thankful for. Even if you don't have much left there can and will be more. But from what is in your heart that is a kind of love from deep inside from that extra shine built on love. Good love. Real love that is pure. From the heart. It's all that we have and you will see there will be more.

But you will get used to it. Asking for the strength, help and the good rest that you need. And smiles. The body will get stronger when you sleep and repair and try to clear and to understand everything that you are going through all at once. Like and affliction. But one that you can feel that power to change from it. And that there will be that power to feel . . . and so that you can feel that it is really here. Pray. Stay calm. And be sincere. Your higher power can be with you here.

Take care. Be nice, Friend. ❤️‍🔥
 
Thank for the kind words, luckily my pills have kicked in. Thank God I was able to find two double a batteries. My heater in my house stopped working, the batteries on the controller died, it is 42 degrees Fahrenheit( for the non Americans) how did it get this cold in early October in the Detroit suburbs. I guess I will have to keep my promise to my only friend, an old black dude who was friends with my dad and go to church, even though I want to crawl back into bed and lay there miserable. Insomnia has hit me again, I wonder if my doctor will give me some barbiturates( just kidding, I swear they will not give them to anyone, I can dream can't I, oh that's right If I can't sleep how can I dream. I did fall asleep in church last 2 weeks. Seriously, I did and no one bothered me. It is wrong, but it was rather funny waking up to a near empty church. Maybe I should halt my personal ban on caffeine.
Any recommendations on any sleeping pills that, 1: will work and 2: are not above schedule 4( in America, I know they use different scheduling in other countries). I get restless leg syndrome and I have bad knees. Which makes sleep a challenge, to say the least. At least I have a pure cashmere overcoat, wow cashmere is warm. Anyways, I got sick of pot just before summer and have to force myself to eat, my liver wasn't the only thing that over 2 decades of alcohol abuse messed up, My pancreas is still giving me trouble. Well if it stays cold, no more mowing, just leaves, that sucks worse. Oh, well hope everybody is having a better weekend than me.
 
Jnowhere said:
Thank for the kind words, luckily my pills have kicked in. Thank God I was able to find two double a batteries. My heater in my house stopped working, the batteries on the controller died, it is 42 degrees Fahrenheit( for the non Americans) how did it get this cold in early October in the Detroit suburbs. I guess I will have to keep my promise to my only friend, an old black dude who was friends with my dad and go to church, even though I want to crawl back into bed and lay there miserable. Insomnia has hit me again, I wonder if my doctor will give me some barbiturates( just kidding, I swear they will not give them to anyone, I can dream can't I, oh that's right If I can't sleep how can I dream. I did fall asleep in church last 2 weeks. Seriously, I did and no one bothered me. It is wrong, but it was rather funny waking up to a near empty church. Maybe I should halt my personal ban on caffeine.
Any recommendations on any sleeping pills that, 1: will work and 2: are not above schedule 4( in America, I know they use different scheduling in other countries). I get restless leg syndrome and I have bad knees. Which makes sleep a challenge, to say the least. At least I have a pure cashmere overcoat, wow cashmere is warm. Anyways, I got sick of pot just before summer and have to force myself to eat, my liver wasn't the only thing that over 2 decades of alcohol abuse messed up, My pancreas is still giving me trouble. Well if it stays cold, no more mowing, just leaves, that sucks worse. Oh, well hope everybody is having a better weekend than me.
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You're very kind too. Wow, that's a lot to be going through there right now. Prayers.

Hold on. Keep being good. And stay stronger than your pills. Keep working through it all.

And I hope the winter isn't too cold for you. The snow is fun to walk around in when it's shining in the sun.

Seriously, it's nice out in the fresh air when you can. Life gets better when you work to stay stronger too.

You have to work through it all. You do. You have to work at it and keep going. Sometimes it takes much more
than a few days. A new way to keep going and doing things better. And try to figure a lot along the way.

Try to be as healthy as possible and be careful on the pill intake. I hope that you are able to find help with your
medical issue. It seems like a priority to try to fix your pancreas right now. Please don't let your health decline.

You are going to have to fight it more than ever right now. You need to be as healthy as possible. You need to
use medicine wisely now and not have it as your main focus so that you can focus on other things too.

I am sure that you realize this right now when things keep getting tougher. And please do be careful with the medicine.

The alcohol did a lot of damage too. It's a lot but I am sure that you can pull yourself out of this situation to get better
and feel better too. You can do this and stay safe. How nice it is that you have such an inspiring friend too.

Thanks for sharing about yourself with us and it is so very nice that you have such an inspiring friend. Through all
that is bad you are doing amazing good too !! When we all get to a certain point we can realize that we can make
things better too. Keep a smile up when ever you can and say Hi to your amazing friend.

Wow good luck. I hope you do all that you need to be able to do. I really hope that you do. That's so much to
carry around. I hope that you are going to be fine through this all ? Take care of your pancreas too.
Anyway it is good to have a friend to help you to feel better too. Nice !

Omg. Get Better !!!! Stay well. Keep up the good work and focus. It seems like a good time to make confusing times
unconfusing. It always can be. You seem like you are doing really well so far. And take care of your pancreas. Wow.
That's extremely important. You seem to be doing it all so well to make everything as best as you can do.

What an inspiring spirit you have for everything you have been through. Sweet. Now just keep going. You seem to
be alright but just have to work through what has now all happened to you. Be alright then okay ? And just keep
doing what you need to do. I am glad that you found good company, yes . . and that you have a nice friend too.

Notice how I said too so many times. Lol's and you have a nice friend times 2. You already have a friend and we
are trying for the best that we can do. Awesome posting always too. And it's nice that we try to help each other how we do.

You are going to be fine because you can. Just don't let too many pills take that away from you. Take every little thing and make it
alright. And keep doing all that you can. I hope that you read all of this and do feel better !!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it will make you tired
and you will get some sleep. Maybe reading a book can make you sleep better than way too many pills. Don't depend on an
excess of pills when you can find better things to do. You are doing great . . . . keep it going with it all.

Be alright, please ? Take care, and ask for miracles.

And best ever to you. From kiely. :)
awe. We sure aren't alone when we reach out.

Prayers.
 
I wake up with a hangover, but I don't suffer with it. I don't resign myself to it. I don't regret. I own it.

This is what I do with hangovers, now. I lean into them. I feel them. I learn from them. I don't fight.

Last night I had a couple of grams of mushrooms and about four tabs of acid, plus 5 beers (or so?) and most of a bottle of Sambuca.

I wake up with a hangover, but I wake up with God.

God is everything. The hangover is nothing.

Bring it on.

I'm tired of punishing myself.
 
Somebody deleted a post of mine in the recovery thread?
Not 100% sure what I posted, but I have a general idea.

I'm not trying to hurt anyone.
This is part of my recovery.

I can go to work now with a lightning hangover and feel no negativity because I don't allow any in.

You always invite suffering.
 
Well... I've got a bad habit I want to quit. I smoke two packs of cigars a day. I just don't know how to stop smoking because I like it so much, but I know it's bad for my health. Got any ideas on how to stop smoking ?
 
Thanks for the kind words, Kiely. It truly means alot to me. I am trying stay on track and I really appreciate the kind words and advice more than you probably will ever know. I would also really like to thank AngelsandFairiesareforreal for her kindness
To MedicinalUser247 the one idea I have is to smoke one less per week, till you don't smoke anymore. Or if it is like what darvocet21 said try one less every month. Speaking of Darvocet, I remember taking it in college for headaches. They banned it for some reason, in America at least. I liked it so did a close relative of mine. It was only schedule 4, I thought. Oh well. Anyone know why? I am only talking about it for medical and medicinal reasons, it wasn't a party drug at all. To Frog Dreams, be carefully acid rots your brain, and watch out if those hangovers, turn into the shakes in the morning, that is when the real troubles start. I was a young man once who drank alot and could deal with hangovers and one day it happened; I got the shakes and withdrawals. It was easy in college for me, I could go home to my apartment and have a 40 or a several strong beers and to my next class I went. But drinking on a job, that is even worse. Don't let that happen, I don't want you to end up like I did. Remember the hangovers only get worse the older you get. Careful you don't want to kill your liver and your brain. I am not trying to be a kill joy, but consider moderation, it saves brain cells and money.
 
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darvocet21 said:
When you say cigars do you mean the little cigarillos that come 3-5 in a pack?
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those with all aroma types?
yoo they still sell them outhere in EU

from 1EUR pre pretzel 19 now is 3! lol

and they literally have 0 tobacco just a incense stick that apparently doesn't scissor your will.

Just get a coffee warm.. and some real tobacco from kent, kent bought all
 
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