Ten years on drugs starting at 15. Sobriety in my teens was horrible, depression, anxiety, lack of motivation. So I stayed faded on anything as much as possible. Started with alcohol and weed, dxm,
Then later speed, x, acid, coke, mushrooms,
Then in my 20s opioids everyday for pain, then benzos every day for anxiety.
And for a short period of time I found Ballance. I was working 70 hours a week and wholesaling weed, hydrocodone, Xanax after hours. Slowly my life and health started going down hill.
At 25 I thought about killing myself a few times a week. The back pain was the worst its ever been at this time. I used the strongest pills for just a few hours of relief. My insides were inflamed. My attitude was bitter and sad. Worst part of my life.
On August 8, 2016 I had yet another mental breakdown and threw roughly 4k worth of pills, coke, and weed off my balcony into a creek. Quit my job and lost everything. Although I was determined to find sober me one time before I died.
That day was the first day of my long awaited detox , and recovery. Coming off of opioids and benzos at the same time, alone cold turkey is in itself a life changing event. Every second of every day was miserable for about 5 days. Then at 10 days it was still horrible but not as bad.
The pain was - intense, I don't even like to remember it. I cried and screemed a lot. Emotional responses to everything. Dealers started to call and check on me. I had a good friend reach out to them to say I was in police custody, so they wouldn't bother me anymore.
Took about a year of sober living to bring me back physically and another 2 years to get me 100% back emotionally.
Sever years clean at this point. Happy , in love, finally comfortable. Honestly, no one can tell I ever used drugs before. I'm like a regular joe. I'm even getting all my teeth fixed.
It was a huge long road to get to this point. Cold turkey worked for me mainly because it was my only option at the time. I was able to wall myself off from everyone and everything for about a year. That's what saved my life. Some of my family members and some of my best friends however ended up going down the medication route.
There's still on Suboxone 4 years later. If it were me, I'd just stop everything for about a year. I know methadone and Suboxone are healthier options than using illicit street drugs but there's still addictive substances and that's still affects your quality of life.
I was not trying to make this a huge essay it's just I start talking about my experiences and it all comes flooding back. I can only tell you what I would do in my own situation. It's your life take it back