That's encouraging for me, too!
Guys, having my sex drive back is amazing. I was missing it, bad. Turns out, so was my girlfriend. I thought it was just that she didn't have one, either.
Good stuff... I took DOC a few days ago while
@arrall was visiting, and we went river hiking. At the end, I took us deep into the forest, into the scrub, to try to bypass the last bit because I felt that climbing the big waterfall was irresponsible for a beginner... I began to lose hope of finding the "unofficial" path that I've found up the side before, I thought I went too far up the ridge. I was finally able to get through to call my girlfriend (very patchy service), and she fucking found us, like a boss. After we were back out, I realized how much of a load off it was... I was feeling like I had made a huge mistake and done something massively irresponsible by giving a young guy I just met a powerful psychedelic and bringing him to a really dangerous place and then leading him into the wilderness. I shed a few tears of relief. So did she, because she was trying to call me for an hour and almost called search and rescue, because we were an hour and a half late.
Then the whole way home while she drove us, she was just being awesome, telling stories, handling everything. And all weekend, she was just great, she was a fantastic hostess, and even though she didn't feel too good, she made every effort to be engaging and sweet to our guest, and me. The evening after the river hike, I was cooking dinner, and I was hit with a wave of a combination of gratitude and regret... gratitude because I honestly fell in love with her all over again that day, and regret and guilt because the past year or so, I have not been a very good partner. I've basically been fantasizing about breaking up with her, and refusing to sleep in the same bed as her, and being quite cold a lot of the time. I don't think I've said "I love you" in... I'm not even sure how long.
So I started just sobbing, tears covering my face and shaking, and she asked me if the onion I was cutting was really so bad, and I said no, and explained how I was feeling. I said she must have noticed I was being grouchy and unhappy... she said well, maybe just a little. I'm sure she was being nice.
Well anyway, I kept randomly crying all night, but it was so good. Since then I've made sure to tell her I love her every day. I can't even express how glad I am about starting on testosterone. My test and estrogen were both significantly too low, and it felt like my vital force was missing, except for playing music for live audiences, I just felt flat lined and dull and pissy, all the time. Just increasing my test levels is making me feel like my spark is back, it's amazing. I had no idea I was so negatively affected.
let's stay that way
I do miss the fuzzy headed, sleepy morning copulation but that's basically just one particular sexual context that is off the books out of a myriad others that have opened up.