Day 5 - CT Fentanyl

[tokayeahok]

Just wanted to post as I wanted to have some sort of support or I guess merely just type out something. The wave has passed and I’m feeling way better mentally but the no sleep is killing me. Took 100mg of Benadryl with 600mg of gabapentin thinking the neurontin would offset the RLS but it failed, so taking a bath rn after being woken up from the worst dream.

I’m sure a lot of you can identify with having those super short ‘using’ dreams where you are using your drug of choice, during withdrawal. I had a dream I found a needle and did the whole process and woke up as soon as I pushed it in and it shot me straight up.

Anyways, hope everyone is well.

Xoxo

 

[cdin]

brave jump CT fentanyl. please keep us posted on how you are doing. do you have some comfort meds? do you have trusted loved ones who can be near if things go south? fentanyl wds seem to include some much harsher physical effects than a standard opioid CT,
either way - super proud of you, Post kick - good nutrition, exercise, therapeutic processeses and all that shit are extremely helpful. I hope you have that kind of support.

 

[kjob]

Can you get any memantine?what part of CT. are you in I'm in shelton

 

[tokayeahok]

brave jump CT fentanyl. please keep us posted on how you are doing. do you have some comfort meds? do you have trusted loved ones who can be near if things go south? fentanyl wds seem to include some much harsher physical effects than a standard opioid CT,
either way - super proud of you, Post kick - good nutrition, exercise, therapeutic processeses and all that shit are extremely helpful. I hope you have that kind of support.

Yeah mate cheers, doing well, just haven’t been sleeping the best. I’ve got a few gabby’s I use sparingly at night but last night I wasn’t able to get sleep so been up about 26 hours now. Doing good, just in a bubble bath listening to tunes & having some coffee. Waiting on the sun to rise to go sit outside & play guitar. Doing well, in high hopes just really would like some sleeeeeep. Surely the nicotine and coffee isn’t helping the RLS

 

[tokayeahok]

Can you get any memantine?what part of CT. are you in I'm in shelton

Have heard good things about it but no clue where to get that. I’m in SC! CT as in cold turkey!

 

[tokayeahok]

Plus I’d rather just ride the wave and witness the rebirth & feel through everything. If I had it my way I’d go to MAT and hop on methadone but that’s not a choice so staying cozy in bed is what I’m being best at!

Have heard good things about it but no clue where to get that. I’m in SC! CT as in cold turkey!

 

[PtahTek]

I’m in SC!

What up, homie?
Native to SC myself but moved a couple years ago to hell.
Seems like ya have a great attitude about all this WD and IME this may be the best weapon we have when battling addiction/dependence.
Keep it up you got this and congrats on kicking that shit.
Best to you and yours.
Peace

 

[tokayeahok]

No way! That’s wicked man! Ahaha in the upstate anywhere??

What up, homie?
Native to SC myself but moved a couple years ago to hell.
Seems like ya have a great attitude about all this WD and IME this may be the best weapon we have when battling addiction/dependence.
Keep it up you got this and congrats on kicking that shit.
Best to you and yours.
Peace

 

[PtahTek]

No way! That’s wicked man! Ahaha in the upstate anywhere??

Nailed it: PA of all places. lol
Its just burnt out and toxic in every way imaginable.
I did finally land a job as a direct care giver (elderly/disabled) and looking forward to working with the young as a mentor but the move here has been a major setback to my mental stability until a few months ago... starting to regain some footage after over two years of living in a literal shit hole (dumping raw suage and toxic waste in the rivers regularly.
Even made me start seeing a therapist ffs which is the only thing that has helped me out of mental anguish and self destructive behaviors.
How ya feeling with the WDs at the moment.
BTW: We moved from Columbia but I was born in Sumter.
What part of SC do you hail from?

 

[tokayeahok]

Nailed it: PA of all places. lol
Its just burnt out and toxic in every way imaginable.
I did finally land a job as a direct care giver (elderly/disabled) and looking forward to working with the young as a mentor but the move here has been a major setback to my mental stability until a few months ago... starting to regain some footage after over two years of living in a literal shit hole (dumping raw suage and toxic waste in the rivers regularly.
Even made me start seeing a therapist ffs which is the only thing that has helped me out of mental anguish and self destructive behaviors.
How ya feeling with the WDs at the moment.
BTW: We moved from Columbia but I was born in Sumter.
What part of SC do you hail from?

Greenwood! RIP

But heyo mate that’s wicked! Take a big hug from me! That’s incredible that you’re able to work with people like that - you are massively appreciated. I’ve thought of that career as I was a pharma major and then dropped out, but I love patient care.

Am doing okay, shouldn’t have had coffee today, as I haven’t slept but maybe 1hr total in the last 36 hours - so feel a bit yacked. Cheers for checking in on me!

 

[PtahTek]

shouldn’t have had coffee today

In my many WD experiences coffee is a no go in the extreme.
Now kratom on the other hand works for me perfectly and after dosing a couple grams am able to partake the coffee without the side effect of making me feel like bugging out.
Thank you for the compliment re: able to focus on others well being. I have found it very rewarding and my clients love me so far.
The only issue I see with working with the young is the possibility of them snapping out and pulling firearms or other deadly weapon (which can be anything within reach). This will not stop me from entering this field but it has come to mind. I feel I can de-escalate fairly well (and have) but wild-cards are in the deck always in my experiences.
On a side note; have you ever tried kratom? Not trying to throw off your resolve (which I find impressive) it's just a question.
Been to Greenwood a few times but it has been so long ago that I cannot remember why or what it was like.
Always my best,
J

 

[tokayeahok]

In my many WD experiences coffee is a no go in the extreme.
Now kratom on the other hand works for me perfectly and after dosing a couple grams am able to partake the coffee without the side effect of making me feel like bugging out.
Thank you for the compliment re: able to focus on others well being. I have found it very rewarding and my clients love me so far.
The only issue I see with working with the young is the possibility of them snapping out and pulling firearms or other deadly weapon (which can be anything within reach). This will not stop me from entering this field but it has come to mind. I feel I can de-escalate fairly well (and have) but wild-cards are in the deck always in my experiences.
On a side note; have you ever tried kratom? Not trying to throw off your resolve (which I find impressive) it's just a question.
Been to Greenwood a few times but it has been so long ago that I cannot remember why or what it was like.
Always my best,
J

Absolutely, love Kratom. I just actually am sorta house-ridden and don’t have a ride to the corner shop up the road to grab a bag. I like the white / green maeng da, especially in the morning. If I could though, i 100% would. I live very rurally in a log cabin, so it’s a 12m drive into town. Just smoked a little pot up at my neighbors, which is a good walk away(felt good to move around and get moving) and I hardly smoke since it usually just ends in me being existentially anxious and dreadful, but I actually feel a lot better mentally off of a few tokes and have American Gangster playing. It’s been a rough start to the day but feeling better every few hours. Some Kratom would do the trick though, honestly. Especially on these downward days when you’ve passed the ‘wave’. It never did much for me on the peak days (2-3), but always was a godsend on day 4 and up.

Yeah about your work, I understand. It’s a pretty harsh world out there & you gotta watch your back, m8

 

[tokayeahok]

Got 4 and 1/2 hours of sleep last night after 2 1/2 grueling days of only 20m of sleep. Incredibly thankful and enjoying a hot bubble bath this morning with some coffee. Listening to some tunes, gunna step out and lay in the grass, play some guitar and catch some sunlight.

Hope all is well, just checking in really. Also didn’t mean to use the eye roll emoji last post

 

[kjob]

if you got some sleep then I believe your on the other side, amazing! as for methadone thats my nightmare now and why I didn't get CT was cold turkey,it's a brain wrecker, but also why memantine is my only way out now, please don't ever give up your battle.

 

[tokayeahok]

if you got some sleep then I believe your on the other side, amazing! as for methadone thats my nightmare now and why I didn't get CT was cold turkey,it's a brain wrecker, but also why memantine is my only way out now, please don't ever give up your battle.

Will do mate! Isn’t my first rodeo I’m incredibly fatigued and sore but got the biggest intrinsic dopamine release when I woke up drooling on myself and the sun was coming up, knowing I got 4 hours. will hit one week today at 6pm EST

 

[PtahTek]

My bad for not replying sooner to this but it does sound as if you have kicked this shit to the curb.
Been busy and got lost in the forum somehow ( ) but will "watch" the thread now and follow your recovery as it is encouraging and a positive note in a world of craziness. Hahaha
Yes... quite encouraging.
Thanks for it, too.

 

[tokayeahok]

My bad for not replying sooner to this but it does sound as if you have kicked this shit to the curb.
Been busy and got lost in the forum somehow ( ) but will "watch" the thread now and follow your recovery as it is encouraging and a positive note in a world of craziness. Hahaha
Yes... quite encouraging.
Thanks for it, too.

Of course man! One hour away from hitting the ‘1 week’ mark! Actually just got back from driving to the corner shop in my mum’s car - got some cigarettes and about 10g of some somewhat decent Kratom to help motivate me a little. Been doing laundry earlier today, still loads of bubble baths, and dishes. Just still excited about the sleep I got last night

 

[PtahTek]

You da man!
Cheers, bro.

 

[tokayeahok]

Bless, man! Really appreciate your engagement and conversation. Don’t really do meetings or recovery-based activities so this site is my liquid gold, and has been since 2010 really appreciate all of you lads. Downed 6g of Kratom 30m ago and feel pretty lovely & energized from it. So, I feel blessed for the comfort. Maybe might help aid my sleep although I could only snag green maeng-da. How was your day?

 

[kjob]

I was also thinking of buying some kratom for the methadone CT but am really a novice as to what type ,but it looks like I can get every type/amount needed,it sounds like it helps WD at least somewhere in the first 30 days
so I am doing memantine,pregabilin,kratom clonidine,valium(10 - 5mg. pills only)suboxone 8mg tablets 50+ anyone thinks of anything I missed please say....Ken