Boring is okay. I prefer it even though I hate it. It leaves room for a better tomorrow. We are just a rollercoaster ride of neurotransmitters, always fighting to keep the balance of feel-goods with the feel-bads in order. Us drug addicts, we have always had a bit more 'balls' than the crowd that always played it safe and chose to never try. We like the Big rollercoasters. The really big ones. We take big risks. The ride can be traumatic sometimes and people have been known to fall right off, naturally. Some sustain life-long injuries. Others complete the ride and ride it again, and again, and again, and despite their hair being blown back every time, they come back down to reality and are ready for more...
But everyone runs out of energy at some point. Everyone has to come down and take a break, and feel absolute misery because we want to ride the coaster 24/7.
I am like you now. I opt for the ferris wheel. A bit safer, slower paced, still keeps me alive though and keeps me from self-sabotage. Depriving our brains of what it wants can be more dangerous sometimes than keeping it satisfied in smaller doses more frequently.
