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Serious Do y’all ever consider the possibility that we, as drug users, may have brought death upon ourselves earlier than otherwise?

xtcgrrrl

xtcgrrrl

Bluelight Crew
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So I saw my doctor yesterday and he said the C word. Imma take it with a grain of salt, naturally, cuz I don’t trust doctors these days and anyway there’s a lot of steps to rule stuff like this out. He might’ve just said that to get me to move my butt on this cuz he’s been asking me to check this out for about 2 years now and I didn’t (hey I was busy ok?!)

But anyway it got me thinking, we all know that consuming large quantities of drugs (sometimes even just moderate amounts, YMMV) can cause health issues down the road and potentially shorten your life. I’ve always been of the mindset that I’d rather have a FUN life but shorter than a boring one but longer. But when you’re getting up there in years, that’s not so easy to say anymore, cuz you recognize that maybe there’s fewer years ahead of you than behind you now? And now you have so much more to lose. And I’m highly doubtful that an afterlife exists. I always used to joke about being cyrogenically frozen, but who am I kidding?! I can’t even buy a car, lol. I’m broke af. And we don’t even know if that would work in the first place…

Idk where I’m going with this. I guess I’m just asking if y’all ever stopped to think about the fact that we’re trading time for…what? Fun? Escapism? Momentary relief of pain/anxiety?
 
I think using drugs has prolonged my life by offering different perspectibes.
It is noy allways dark and recent curbing off drug use may prolong my interests in real answrs (which will not let me rest).
Seems most of these deniers of drug users die quicker... just my.opinion.
 
xtcgrrrl said:
So I saw my doctor yesterday and he said the C word. Imma take it with a grain of salt, naturally, cuz I don’t trust doctors these days and anyway there’s a lot of steps to rule stuff like this out. He might’ve just said that to get me to move my butt on this cuz he’s been asking me to check this out for about 2 years now and I didn’t (hey I was busy ok?!)

But anyway it got me thinking, we all know that consuming large quantities of drugs (sometimes even just moderate amounts, YMMV) can cause health issues down the road and potentially shorten your life. I’ve always been of the mindset that I’d rather have a FUN life but shorter than a boring one but longer. But when you’re getting up there in years, that’s not so easy to say anymore, cuz you recognize that maybe there’s fewer years ahead of you than behind you now? And now you have so much more to lose. And I’m highly doubtful that an afterlife exists. I always used to joke about being cyrogenically frozen, but who am I kidding?! I can’t even buy a car, lol. I’m broke af. And we don’t even know if that would work in the first place…

Idk where I’m going with this. I guess I’m just asking if y’all ever stopped to think about the fact that we’re trading time for…what? Fun? Escapism? Momentary relief of pain/anxiety?
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I'm sorry to hear this. I am sure you have many more rounds of testing to go through before anything is confirmed or a prognosis is given.

When my sister in law's mother was diagnosed with the C word, she was given options of treatment and I believe it was chemo that they said would extend her life a while but it wouldn't last forever. When she was in remission she took the opportunity to travel around and check off things on her bucket list, I guess to do all the things she missed out on being a working stiff and a mother. She eventually came down with leukemia, which I think might be a long term side effect of chemo (or maybe radiation, I don't remember). But she lived long enough to see parts of the country and world that she had never considered before. She also got to see her grandkids be born, which I'm sure was even better.

I know you don't have much money but I would maybe start planning things to make the most of whatever amount of time I had left. Who knows? You may still have a long life ahead of you but at least when the time does come, you will be able to say you had no regrets.

Like Hunter Thompson said: Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Much love <3
 
Thanks. I was super anxious and upset about this initially; then I decided to put it into perspective. Even IF, supposing, it IS cancer, and I DO die from it, none of that would happen right away. I would still have years and years. I just want to see my kids grown and happy. And I would probably still get to do that. So, I decided not to worry about it if it’s not happening RIGHT NOW. Am I CURRENTLY dying from cancer?? No. And there’s a lot of what-ifs and suppositions in the above statement. It very well may not be that at all (although if it isn’t, we’ll have to figure out why my lymph nodes on the left side have been swollen for over 2 years, and my doctor didn’t seem to think there were ANY good answers to that. Also, medical mysteries suck!)

So anyway - I’m gonna continue with my fun plans for this weekend, for one: I get to see the love of my life, and we’ll go see a Smashing Pumpkins concert, and also probably take some fun drugs, lol. But your advice is very astute. I’ve been mindful that perhaps it’s time to stop “living in the moment” and plan for the future for a while now. I’m not very good at that, but I’ve been trying. Inasmuch as a person who requires the government medical insurance can, I’ve been trying to save a bit (you can’t be worth more than 2k from all sources or lose Medicaid. Which is a fucking stupid rule. But I’ve been hiding a bit here and there. I just opened at Roth IRA, so that’s something.)

Thanks, the support here is amazing and I truly appreciate it. ❤️
 
xtcgrrrl said:
Thanks. I was super anxious and upset about this initially; then I decided to put it into perspective. Even IF, supposing, it IS cancer, and I DO die from it, none of that would happen right away. I would still have years and years. I just want to see my kids grown and happy. And I would probably still get to do that. So, I decided not to worry about it if it’s not happening RIGHT NOW. Am I CURRENTLY dying from cancer?? No. And there’s a lot of what-ifs and suppositions in the above statement. It very well may not be that at all (although if it isn’t, we’ll have to figure out why my lymph nodes on the left side have been swollen for over 2 years, and my doctor didn’t seem to think there were ANY good answers to that. Also, medical mysteries suck!)

So anyway - I’m gonna continue with my fun plans for this weekend, for one: I get to see the love of my life, and we’ll go see a Smashing Pumpkins concert, and also probably take some fun drugs, lol. But your advice is very astute. I’ve been mindful that perhaps it’s time to stop “living in the moment” and plan for the future for a while now. I’m not very good at that, but I’ve been trying. Inasmuch as a person who requires the government medical insurance can, I’ve been trying to save a bit (you can’t be worth more than 2k from all sources or lose Medicaid. Which is a fucking stupid rule. But I’ve been hiding a bit here and there. I just opened at Roth IRA, so that’s something.)

Thanks, the support here is amazing and I truly appreciate it. ❤️
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Sounds like you have your head screwed on straight about all this. Have fun at the concert!

I feel you about the government assistance. I was on SSDI Disability for 6 years and know what its like to not be able to save more than $2k in addition to not being allowed to earn more than ~$1k per month from a job. Please be careful with the Roth IRA because it is attached to your Social Security number and therefore is at a high risk of being found out by the SSA. I would consider dealing with cash only if you go above and beyond the $2k or find someone you can trust and invest under their name. Of course the latter is risky because of the slim chance you may lose access to your investment for whatever reason.
 
xtcgrrrl said:
So I saw my doctor yesterday and he said the C word. Imma take it with a grain of salt, naturally, cuz I don’t trust doctors these days and anyway there’s a lot of steps to rule stuff like this out. He might’ve just said that to get me to move my butt on this cuz he’s been asking me to check this out for about 2 years now and I didn’t (hey I was busy ok?!)

But anyway it got me thinking, we all know that consuming large quantities of drugs (sometimes even just moderate amounts, YMMV) can cause health issues down the road and potentially shorten your life. I’ve always been of the mindset that I’d rather have a FUN life but shorter than a boring one but longer. But when you’re getting up there in years, that’s not so easy to say anymore, cuz you recognize that maybe there’s fewer years ahead of you than behind you now? And now you have so much more to lose. And I’m highly doubtful that an afterlife exists. I always used to joke about being cyrogenically frozen, but who am I kidding?! I can’t even buy a car, lol. I’m broke af. And we don’t even know if that would work in the first place…

Idk where I’m going with this. I guess I’m just asking if y’all ever stopped to think about the fact that we’re trading time for…what? Fun? Escapism? Momentary relief of pain/anxiety?
Click to expand...
Hey XTC, I know that this is an old thread but I was wondering how you're doing. Every time that I even take a drink or smoke a cigarette, I worry about ruining my health (not to mention all the coke, speed, DXM, etc.). My grandfather died of liver cirrhosis in his 60's and all he ever drank was beer. Now that I'm in my 50's, I'm trying to take better care of myself.

Did you ever get to see that Smashing Pumpkins concert? They're one of my all-time favorite bands, and their "Adore" album was my soundtrack to the spring of 1998!

Dreamflyer :)
 
I sure did shortened my lifespan with drugs and I don’t worry about that, especially since I already have some other factors that do/will likely shorten my lifespan more than drugs.

What I wouldn't like to experience is drug induced dementia and similar things lowering life quality. I still have time to fight against such outcome but I’ve definitely done a lot of this and that that’s likened to this and that...still I don’t worry much about that, just have some drastic ideas in case if it ever comes to that.
 
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