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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Ever doubt your own sanity?

Snafu in the Void said:
I never question my total sanity, but very often when I have hallucinations I question my brain's ability to function properly.

I've never had true delusions, but I still question random sounds I hear.... "was that a real sound??". That's mostly just anxiety from past psychosis.
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I would like to be able to tell apart delusions from intuition.
 
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psychopaths arent actually insane though. People with anti-social personality disorder know right from wrong they just don't care and unlike you or me really don't think about the consequences.

i was told years ago that if you think your going insane that means your not. This has proved to be true as i though i was completely sane when i was psychotic
 
It was my second psychosis on withdrawals (overall third one), totally wasted on booze (as everytime, it seems like it just trashes my logical reasoning), when I messaged my friend, did all defence mechanisms and manipulation attempts, straight out told being pissed off because no one is going to believe me, but this is serious now, I am not delusional or anything, and [your regular paranoid psychosis bullshit].
Friend didn't really agree with me, so I was basically just "Fuck it, whatever, I don't know, I don't just understand anything anymore".
I don't really remember that but I was really surprised of this half-lucid moment next day as I scrolled through messages like post-drunk detective I was. Second psychosis, which I have memories of, was just totally incoherent rambling. No sense, no insight at all.
 
strangeaeon said:
i've had thoughts about murder lately. lately meaning every day since i can remember. i don't think that makes me a very sane person.
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This happens to normal people. Doesn't mean you're losing it necessarily, just means you ought to check in with yourself, and weigh the pro's and con's of doing something like that. Might be best to talk to a therapist or some kind of counselor if you're truly starting to doubt your own sanity.
 
On a daily , my family has a history of mental illness so i have that but i just considered my mental whackiness to decades of substance abuse…..
 
strangeaeon said:
I think dreams are trying to tell us stuff even if we dont like it haha i rarely not hate every dream i have, but what if you try to decypher it and find something really cool? I have lucid dreams since i was a kid where i can do whatever i want in them, the only ones i dont like is when i dream that my father is Satan. It sucks because i am a christian and i love my father haha i would hate to know that he was actually Satan.
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Yeah, I'm also christian on paper but morally i try to be better person cause all those fanatics around me, not all but some are ironically cliche-bad persons.wtf?
I don't know about satan, it's funny now how all those Tv-shows shape minds about good and evil in younger people, like Lucifer are funny and Sandman is for kids.
But for now all this is fairy tale to me and metaphoric and allegoric!
I had strangest dreams before, f.e. mirtazapine is antidepp which made me dream like strangest dreams.
Like I said this now is still affecting my awake life, just this morning I had to 2hrs clean my ears from wax, cause I remember only that I was in oil standing and my friend was trying to save me, and he was deeper and I was trying to tell him that I'm in just like knees and he needs help not me- but I couldn't say to him anything cause my mouth were shut and I then realized that if I just lay down in oil and wave him he will think that I need help and I will help him.
So I layed and oil got to my ears and started ringing loud!
So I woke up and saw wax on my pillow and I sometimes produce extra cerumen in ears!
It was strange how physical and emotional were connected.
 
ĐmantuNJofra said:
was strange how physical and emotional were connected.
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Definitely. Thats so cool.
When I was staying at my mum's I fell asleep on the couch in a really deep sleep because had covid, the windows were shut and stuff but I started dreaming that I was in the garden gardening. When I woke up I went in to the garden and the gardener was there she wasn't using the lawnmower so I didn't even hear her from where I was sleeping but must have sensed she was there somehow.
 
deficiT said:
This happens to normal people. Doesn't mean you're losing it necessarily, just means you ought to check in with yourself, and weigh the pro's and con's of doing something like that. Might be best to talk to a therapist or some kind of counselor if you're truly starting to doubt your own sanity.
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If there were no consequences, i would have done it already, more than once. The only time i was content with a psychiatrist was when i met one with who i felt ok talking about things im embarassed about, etc
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
It was my second psychosis on withdrawals (overall third one), totally wasted on booze (as everytime, it seems like it just trashes my logical reasoning), when I messaged my friend, did all defence mechanisms and manipulation attempts, straight out told being pissed off because no one is going to believe me, but this is serious now, I am not delusional or anything, and [your regular paranoid psychosis bullshit].
Friend didn't really agree with me, so I was basically just "Fuck it, whatever, I don't know, I don't just understand anything anymore".
I don't really remember that but I was really surprised of this half-lucid moment next day as I scrolled through messages like post-drunk detective I was. Second psychosis, which I have memories of, was just totally incoherent rambling. No sense, no insight at all.
Click to expand...
I have learned to not use the phone or talk with anyone if im having a psychotic episode because i will obviously say the wackiest shit and i never know what people will do with that information haha
 
strangeaeon said:
I have learned to not use the phone or talk with anyone if im having a psychotic episode because i will obviously say the wackiest shit and i never know what people will do with that information haha
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I at times can lose a great deal of control,.seemingly lose all control, over my behavior and even worse over the things that come out of my mouth, it actually been quite a while by now since this presented for the last time...

Most.of the time.however I posess a build in back.up system over which I also have no control however which seems - by itself, seemingly fully automatic, is able to limit the possible really unaceptable outbursts to an absolute minimum.

All by all, its easily tolerable the way mind seem to have an actual mind of its own...
 
strangeaeon said:
The day i learned about Biometrix and stuff like that, i became psychotic, i was also searching for listening devices inside doors and lamps in my apartment but i dont think that counts as crazy because those are things that actually happen and it's normal wanting to avoid them
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I was going to say no until I read the part where you talk about how you spend your free time. I definitely consume too much content that does not reflect well upon me, so now it's a yes...
 
ownstrength said:
I was going to say no until I read the part where you talk about how you spend your free time. I definitely consume too much content that does not reflect well upon me, so now it's a yes...
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Lmfao, i dont do it often at all, but even the few times a month that i do, i get very self conscious...
 
Antiprosynthesis said:
I at times can lose a great deal of control,.seemingly lose all control, over my behavior and even worse over the things that come out of my mouth, it actually been quite a while by now since this presented for the last time...

Most.of the time.however I posess a build in back.up system over which I also have no control however which seems - by itself, seemingly fully automatic, is able to limit the possible really unaceptable outbursts to an absolute minimum.

All by all, its easily tolerable the way mind seem to have an actual mind of its own...
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That sounds very inconvenient, tbh. Happens to me when i *do heroin.
*Did
 
paranoid android said:
Oddly enough i find morphine helps my ptsd alot as well as anxiety so it kinda keeps me in touch with reality
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Until recently the only morphine I’ve ever done was what you get with pod tea and although the pod tea gets me nodding all day I find the pharmacy stuff much more relaxing with that “ everything’s gonna be OK “ feeling no matter how stressful the situation is,it’s a pain med with a benzo feeling all rolled in one…..
 
Just a little pinprick said:
Until recently the only morphine I’ve ever done was what you get with pod tea and although the pod tea gets me nodding all day I find the pharmacy stuff much more relaxing with that “ everything’s gonna be OK “ feeling no matter how stressful the situation is,it’s a pain med with a benzo feeling all rolled in one…..
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Never had the pod stuff I had psychosis in the psych ward so anything that keeps me in contact with reality is good lol I didnt get high the whole time i had cotards syndrome and thought i was dead. So drugs just make me feel more alive i guess As soon as the first dose of anti-psychotic i had kicked in i was smoking a joint a half hour later lol
 
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