Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

[Jabberwocky]

Well that was quite the little 3 day bender... Basically drunk the whole time, which I usually don't do. Starting to feel a bit dependent again.

My glutamate is on fire. At least vomiting gave me some endorphins.

I need to get this under control. Now.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well that was quite the little 3 day bender... Basically drunk the whole time, which I usually don't do. Starting to feel a bit dependent again.

My glutamate is on fire. At least vomiting gave me some endorphins.

I need to get this under control. Now.

Alcoholism is no joke.

I used to think NA was more for me, and downplayed alcoholic struggles, but it's so readily available, deadly, gets you out of your mind like the rest of them.

Take care of yourself. Clear headedness is such a blessing..

They say don't drink as an addict, but I had a beer with my girlfriend last night. Stopped at one. She offered me hers and I poured it down the drain.

What do you like to do in your free time, snafu? Is there anything you used to enjoy that you've put on the back burner? Anything you want to try?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I need to get this under control. Now.

me fucking too. i wish i knew how.

i'm so tired cos i drank last night and ruined my sleep. i have a driving lesson in just over 2 hours and we will be going into third gear (don't fucking laugh!!) for the first time this attempt at getting a licence. i'm fucking scared cos of how tired i am and how much my head hurts. i take drink driving really seriously but i don't know why me last night didn't also realise how much hungover driving would compromise me.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Heh, I remember taking driving lessons when I was younger, I was nervous so I got high beforehand and was literally falling asleep while driving with this guy next to me in the car. Somehow I still passed..

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do OK

 

[Jabberwocky]

What do you like to do in your free time, snafu?

I don't even know anymore, man

All my old hobbies I don't seem to do anymore, ruined by drugs and alcohol. I get triggered if I attempt to do them, and they aren't fun sober anymore.

Need some new ones.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Do you like to write? Like anything from feelings to bars to professional emails?

 

[Jabberwocky]

me fucking too. i wish i knew how.

i'm so tired cos i drank last night and ruined my sleep. i have a driving lesson in just over 2 hours and we will be going into third gear (don't fucking laugh!!) for the first time this attempt at getting a licence. i'm fucking scared cos of how tired i am and how much my head hurts. i take drink driving really seriously but i don't know why me last night didn't also realise how much hungover driving would compromise me.

I got about 3 hours sleep last night on 2 beers through the day, but managed to load a little MJ in my post walk cigarette this morning. Still working on a solid bowel movement. Had some intense cravings yesterday that were sanguine and felt really good. But it's so touch and go I can't tell what hurts where sometimes. I'm going to head out for a 6 pack of Coors light once the shops open. No spirits today as its a weekday and I'll work on using the same principles with my cannabis use.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

me fucking too. i wish i knew how.

i'm so tired cos i drank last night and ruined my sleep. i have a driving lesson in just over 2 hours and we will be going into third gear (don't fucking laugh!!) for the first time this attempt at getting a licence. i'm fucking scared cos of how tired i am and how much my head hurts. i take drink driving really seriously but i don't know why me last night didn't also realise how much hungover driving would compromise me.

Good luck. Grab a shower, drink extra caffeine, take some otc painkiller, eat something and go in there with confidence. You'll be okay and breeze right through it.

Have you and snafu ever discussed why you want to drink every night. Is it past trauma? Are you missing something in your daily life? Job stress ? Maybe just like the feeling alcohol gives you and you really don't have any issues? I mean I suppose some people drink because the just like the warm fuzzies they get from it.

What do you guys ( you and @Snafu in the Void ) feel like when you DON"T drink. Are you anxious? Depressed? Worried? And then because of those feelings you drink?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I don't even know anymore, man

All my old hobbies I don't seem to do anymore, ruined by drugs and alcohol. I get triggered if I attempt to do them, and they aren't fun sober anymore.

Need some new ones.

You never can tell, maybe start up slowly with one the old ones, take baby steps, and see how it goes. We're always here for you snafu.

I'm getting in my Sherman Tank right now to go to 7-11 to get my Coors light, you know, in case I get into an argument with the cashier whether its 5:59 or 6:00 am.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Good luck. Grab a shower, drink extra caffeine, take some otc painkiller, eat something and go in there with confidence. You'll be okay and breeze right through it.

pretty much exactly my plan.

Have you and snafu ever discussed why you want to drink every night. Is it past trauma? Are you missing something in your daily life? Job stress ? Maybe just like the feeling alcohol gives you and you really don't have any issues? I mean I suppose some people drink because the just like the warm fuzzies they get from it.

What do you guys ( you and @Snafu in the Void ) feel like when you DON"T drink. Are you anxious? Depressed? Worried? And then because of those feelings you drink?

good question. sometimes i feel fine, don't have a single craving. sometimes i have cravings and get through. sometimes i never intended not to drink. sometimes, like last night, i really intended not to but ended up doing it. i even wrote a fucking list of things to do that weren't drinking. and then did the list. but then i got to the end of it and was like 'well i guess now i'll drink.'

part of what had thrown me yesterday was concern for my boyf. he was crying when he woke up yesterday cos he had to do an induction at work for someone who got a job he really should have got, and that would have been a promotion for him. he is horrendously undervalued and underpaid and this was an unbelievable kick in the teeth. i tried to text him some encouragement in the day and got no response, then he didn't come home when i expected, was like an hour and a half late and still hadn't messaged me and didn't answer when i tried to call. i'm not blaming him, but the day started off shit and then just didn't improve.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Have you and snafu ever discussed why you want to drink every night. Is it past trauma?

What do you guys ( you and @Snafu in the Void ) feel like when you DON"T drink. Are you anxious? Depressed? Worried? And then because of those feelings you drink?

Other than saying "anxiety", which is certainly true but a bit of a cop out, I drink because I cant face my life. There are more complexities but that's the main reason.

When I don't drink a deep depression sets in and I lack the motivation or ability to enjoy anything in life. When I'm not working I will often just lay in bed doing nothing, and you can only do that for so long before going crazy... which pushes me back to alcohol.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

pretty much exactly my plan.


good question. sometimes i feel fine, don't have a single craving. sometimes i have cravings and get through. sometimes i never intended not to drink. sometimes, like last night, i really intended not to but ended up doing it. i even wrote a fucking list of things to do that weren't drinking. and then did the list. but then i got to the end of it and was like 'well i guess now i'll drink.'

part of what had thrown me yesterday was concern for my boyf. he was crying when he woke up yesterday cos he had to do an induction at work for someone who got a job he really should have got, and that would have been a promotion for him. he is horrendously undervalued and underpaid and this was an unbelievable kick in the teeth. i tried to text him some encouragement in the day and got no response, then he didn't come home when i expected, was like an hour and a half late and still hadn't messaged me and didn't answer when i tried to call. i'm not blaming him, but the day started off shit and then just didn't improve.

Yeah, that kind of stress during the day certainly doesn't help make the decision easier to not drink after the day is done. It's almost like a reprieve in that I got through that so I can relax and reward myself. Sorry your bf isn't recognized like he should be.

I quit drinking over 10 years ago because it was just causing me too many problems. Felt like shit the next day, was missing work due to hangovers, would drink and drive ( Thank God i never hurt anyone ) and other stuff that just wasn't good. You and snaffie seem to at least control the drinking to a point where it's not affecting your job or other peoples safety. I do miss it every now and then ( especially after mowing the lawn i would always crack a cold beer ) except the one turned into 6 and i was off and running. Or when I am at a BBQ and everyone is having a cold one. I think go ahead girl, have one. But then I can't because just one dosen't cut it. After the first one, I can't ( or wn't ) stop. I've always had an all or nothing personality. I need to have more so I just can't have any at all.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Other than saying "anxiety", which is certainly true but a bit of a cop out, I drink because I cant face my life. There are more complexities but that's the main reason.

When I don't drink a deep depression sets in and I lack the motivation or ability to enjoy anything in life. When I'm not working I will often just lay in bed doing nothing, and you can only do that for so long before going crazy... which pushes me back to alcohol.

Does " I can't face my life" mean the life you currently have? I mean are things to the point where you see no improvement in anything? So you drink because you think that changing your life is impossible?

 

[Jabberwocky]

So you drink because you think that changing your life is impossible?

Yes. I know it's not true, but the weaker part of me believes it might be.

This has been going on so long it almost feels inevitable.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You and snaffie seem to at least control the drinking to a point where it's not affecting your job or other peoples safety

yeah, getting away with it to a certain extent- like i've been shit at work today (clue, i'm on the clock right now) but still done my meetings and will have something to show for the day.

i need to get to a place of acceptance about complete abstinence. i wanted it all of last year then somehow convinced myself i didn't need that. but it would be so much less complicated.

well done for stopping entirely.

@Snafu in the Void totally get the feeling inevitable. sometimes i think the time i was doing complete abstinence was some weird blip.but its not. its a very convincing argument because it truly takes our power away. but we do have power.

anyway, i'm gonna try and do an hour and a half of honest work before my driving lesson. so tell me off if you see me back here in 10 mins!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

I need to not pity myself so much. It's not productive.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Yes. I know it's not true, but the weaker part of me believes it might be.

This has been going on so long it almost feels inevitable.

If you could do one think differently than you did yesterday what would it be, And you can't use " not drink " as an answer.

In other words, did you eat well today? Take a shower? Do your dishes? Get some fresh air? Take a run?

Name one thing you want to do today that you didn't do yesterday.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well unfortunately today is simply recovering from the last 3. I'm pretty wiped out. Can't even think straight. But I'll come up with some stuff for tomorrow.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Other than saying "anxiety", which is certainly true but a bit of a cop out, I drink because I cant face my life. There are more complexities but that's the main reason.

When I don't drink a deep depression sets in and I lack the motivation or ability to enjoy anything in life. When I'm not working I will often just lay in bed doing nothing, and you can only do that for so long before going crazy... which pushes me back to alcohol.

Dude your telling my story, stop it! You're young snaf, it will come, trust the process.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I need to not pity myself so much. It's not productive.

Or you could get real serious about your self pity and get about as depressed and anxious as you possibly can, and the jerk off. It works wonders on anxiety and depression if timed right with follow through. So have a reproductive movement at least once a day!