AMA Ask A Trans Sex Worker (Almost) Anything

[hylite]

" They are just angry because the truth you speak contradicts the lie they live"

 

[Jen X]

Were most of your customers straight men bi or gay? Are you emotionally ok with it?

 

[Eligiu]

Were most of your customers straight men bi or gay? Are you emotionally ok with it?

I've answered this question in another comment and in my long ass reply to the guy who said he doesn't consider sex with a trans man gay I told him how I wouldn't fuck him either.

When I was dependent on drugs I accepted anyone who offered me money. This included men who viewed me as a woman type thing they could degrade and humiliate by targetting me as a trans person and demanding I do things like refer to myself as a girl when they fucked me or feminine terms, and they would also make sure that I understood they didn't see me as a male by making it incredibly clear that they were not gay or bi.

As an escort I only advertise on gay escorting websites or on the 'men for men' ads on the personals website I use. The men I book presently are exclusively gay or bisexual and I ask them before I book them how they identify to be sure. I am not dependent on the income from escorting like I was with sex work so I see who I want, when I want. And if it isn't acceptable to me, I simply won't do it.

Emotionally it was traumatic back in 2017 with the men who considered themselves straight (i say they considered themselves straight but the truth is if they fucked me they're gay as hell, don't tell them that) but it definitely contributed to the vicious cycle of drug use as I would use more heavily after a booking to try and not remember what I'd had to go through in order to get the money.

Now it's chill. The only thing I particularly care about is hoping I get a moderately attractive client which occasionally happens.

 

[Jen X]

@Eligiu Thank you . Sorry to hear of the trauma, i'm glad it's better for you now.

 

[Eligiu]

@Eligiu Thank you . Sorry to hear of the trauma, i'm glad it's better for you now.

Thanks. It was a pretty dark period of my life and the stuff I went through is one of the main reasons I don't allow myself to even have the ability to touch heroin again because that is what drove me to the sex work to begin with and I know it'll happen again if I give it the chance.

 

[moonyham]

Seems like you're a bit caught up in how you associate your penis with masculinity, instead of understanding that gender is something that you experience rather than what's between your legs.

There are plenty of men who agree with you, however there are many more who aren't that upright about measuring their manhood by virtue of a phallus, and don't see anything less than gay about having sex with me considering especially that I look like a cisgender man, with the minute exclusion of my junk. If you met me in person you would immediately gender me as male automatically, so I daresay you would find some level of cognitive dissonance regarding looking at me as a cis passing male, then saying sex with me is not gay.

The men who book me are gay, and many men to hook up with me on Grindr are also gay, including the neverending list of those who message me saying 'ive never hooked up with a trans guy before but I want to and I'm keen to try' who then come over, enjoy themselves a lot, and leave still firmly identifying as gay.

I wrote about this in another thread, explaining that some cisgender people find trans people flipping the genitals = masculinity/femininity on its head so threatening that they feel the need to try to misgender us in any way they can, but I assure you, your manhood is not in any way threatened by me not having a penis. You are a man, regardless of your genitals because genitals do not make someone's gender. You, surely, also feel like a man when you consider yourself as a person beyond just having a dick and balls. There is so much more to masculinity than having a phallic shaped body part dangling between your legs and if you can't understand that, you're really missing out man. Don't limit yourself like that.

So, did you have an actual question to ask which would contribute value to the thread, or did you just come in here to make a snide remark about how it isn't really gay to fuck a trans man and subtly misgender me in the process of doing so? Because it seems like your comment wasn't actually necessary at all, and just serves to be a thinly veiled insult towards me based on your own insecurities about your masculinity.

If you don't think it's gay to fuck me then that's totally fine. I am absolutely not going to fuck you, for that specific reason. I don't disrespect myself like that. Nor, actually, would any other trans man. Shockingly, we don't actually want to fuck men who view sex with us as straight. You're unappealing to our group as a whole. Someone would need to be the pinnacle of self loathing in order to subject themselves to that type of misery. In fact on my Grindr profile I literally have it written 'i do not hook up with men who consider themselves straight' interestingly, I had to write that after endless self proclaimed straight men wanted to hook up with me. No thanks.

So fear not my friend, you never have to worry about whether fucking a trans man will be straight or gay, because if you think it's straight and you tell them that, they will run in the opposite direction and you won't even need to spare a thought questioning whether you would need to be 'balls deep in man pussy' and consider yourself gay. It just won't ever happen. Not from me, not from another trans man. We prefer fucking men who respect our gender identities and are confident enough in their masculinity that that don't make their penis the sole defining trait of their manhood that they carry with them. I wouldn't waste more time considering this point my man, it's purely hypothetical for you and will forever remain so.

Tl;dr, low hanging fruit. Try again next time with a more original slight. This is the most average of attempted transphobia that I've come across recently, I would rate it a firm 0/10.

I mean bro, the fact that I actually had you questioning whether or not it *would* make you gay sort of means I win on default really, hey?

The sheer audacity from the cis thinking that trans people actually want to fuck them is stunning. Understand this, we are not desperate. We don't want to fuck all cis people, we certainly don't want to fuck you (and I wouldn't even if you paid me). I cannot believe someone would actually write 'i don't view sex with an ftm as gay' and then make the assumption they would ever in their lifetime be in a situation where they would be fucking an ftm lol. Like bro, you aren't doing us a favour by fucking us, none of us are grateful for your attention, we have plenty of sex with who we want, when we want. Why do cis people always think that trans people would automatically agree to have sex with them. It boggles the mind. I would sooner never have sex again than be in a situation where I fucked a man who considered sex with me straight, that's how unappealing it is to me. I'd rather just jerk myself of forever as an alternative. I can't believe you actually thought your comment was necessary or valuable. Oh, thank god you contributed a comment about how you view sex with ftm' people as straight because you can't seperate genitals from gender. In a thread titled ask me anything. This thread absolutely needed your important contribution to the discussion at hand, and now can progress smoothly since we've established that at least one person is vain enough to think he can insult trans men, then imagine himself hypothetically fucking one because trans people are just so lonely and miserable that we would agree to have sex with someone who refuses to acknowledge our identified gender just because. Pull the other one bro. Give me a break lol.

Go find another cis person to fuck and leave trans people out of your sexual thoughts, we don't even deserve to be thought about in that way. Stay in your exclusive penis only club, ill happily take the rest of the guys who have no such qualms about genitalia and don't expect me to fuck them just because they provided me with some attention. It's trite.

Wow, a lot of assumptions and ignorance towards me for just stating fucking pussy wouldn't feel gay to me. Didn't say anything about thinking it's bad or that being gay is bad.

I'm not judging I just found it interesting after reading the thread. You blow your own horn way too much though, it's pretty gross. You act like you are the highest level of desire or something lol.

Ya know, crazy shit like

"Like bro, you aren't doing us a favour by fucking us, none of us are grateful for your attention, we have plenty of sex with who we want, when we want. Why do cis people always think that trans people would automatically agree to have sex with them."

Like WHAT?! LOL. I don't want to fuck you. Where do you even get this idea? You are a prostitute, that automatically means zero chance you'd get to fuck *me*.

You sound like you simply hate 'cis people'. To write so much vitriol over a simple comment about how I would feel is insane.

 

[Eligiu]

Wow, a lot of assumptions and ignorance towards me for just stating fucking pussy wouldn't feel gay to me. Didn't say anything about thinking it's bad or that being gay is bad.

I'm not judging I just found it interesting after reading the thread. You blow your own horn way too much though, it's pretty gross. You act like you are the highest level of desire or something lol.

Ya know, crazy shit like

"Like bro, you aren't doing us a favour by fucking us, none of us are grateful for your attention, we have plenty of sex with who we want, when we want. Why do cis people always think that trans people would automatically agree to have sex with them."

Like WHAT?! LOL. I don't want to fuck you. Where do you even get this idea? You are a prostitute, that automatically means zero chance you'd get to fuck *me*.

You sound like you simply hate 'cis people'. To write so much vitriol over a simple comment about how I would feel is insane.

And he fell for it again, the trans person rejects the cis person who wrote that fucking an ftm was not gay then created a hypothetical scenario which would never exist of him being balls deep in mall pussy which implies he thinks that will ever happen, then gets informed that trans people don't want to fuck him and turns into a douchebag.

Your comment was unecessary. This is an ask me anything, not a comment your opinion on whether fucking a trans man is gay, feel free to take that opinion to any of the dozens of trans topics in CEPS where people blather on about how trans men having sex with men is straight. You'll be more welcome there. You just came into a question thread and made a pointless, unecessary remark about your own personal opinions about how sexuality between trans men and men is viewed when it wasn't asked for or requested. Nobody cares whether or not you think it's gay or whether you can call yourself gay when you're balls deep in vagina. They're here to ask questions about me.

It's so utterly predictable. You throw out a transphobic line which is so obvious anyone can see it, I respond with an appropriate level of respect considering you just came into my thread and misgendered me, now you're cracking the shits and waving around insults.

I don't think I'm the pinnale of desire. I'm simply pointing out that due to your transphobic views no trans man would fuck you so you never have to worry about being balls deep in vagina trying to call yourself gay like you pondered in your original question.

You responded exactly like every transphobe does when they pop out a snide remark and get thoroughly called out on it. I don't hate cis people, I've been nothing but respectful to each and every other cis person who commented on this thread asking me an interesting and thought provoking question instead of just keyboard smashing their useless personal opinion in when nobody wants to hear it. Congratulations, you don't think it's gay. Here is your magical award for being so brave as so state such an unpopular opinion in such a controversial way.

Buddy, my pal, my man. I already said I dont want to fuck you. You can't then say I don't get to fuck you. I already didn't fuck you hours ago.

'i wouldn't fuck you even if you paid me, I don't want to fuck a man who thinks having sex with me is gay, and misgenders me in doing so'

'well you're a prostitute, you don't get to fuck me!'

'i... Already said I didn't want to? Why are you trying to make it seem like you got there first?'

You can't tell someone who already said they don't want to fuck you that they can't fuck you. I don't want to fuck you. If you don't want to fuck me then even better.

Dunno why you're even in this thread when you're clearly transphobic and trying to bait me and also anti sex worker.

Got any more thought provoking and astute personal opinions to add to a thread dedicated to people asking a person that isn't you questions?

I don't hate cis people. Basically all my friends are cis because I find most trans people my own age insufferable. They aren't transphobic though. Can you see the difference?

Maybe consider that my response towards you compared to my response towards every other cis person in this thread is as result of what YOU said, not me hating cis people. Otherwise I would have gone off at them too. Nice try but.

Sweet attempt at trying to make it seem like I just hate all cis people when the reality is I just find you unlikable because you would have literally known as you types your pointless opinion that it wasn't bringing anything of value to the thread as you weren't able to even follow the simple basic premise of asking a question, and you decided (as a person who clearly holds transphobic opinions and dislikes sex workers) to enter into a thread you KNEW you had moral issues or disagreements about premises with specifically to say what you did.

And now you're pretending like you're the victim. Come off it dude. You knew exactly what you were doing. Why even come into the thread if you weren't going to ask a question when you hold those views if not to purely say something offensive.

 

[lonelyDude]

what was your dream job as a child ?

was it the same as the profession you have taken on ?

if they are different would you change paths now ?




when did you notice that you wanted to change gender ?

have you asked this of other trans gender people and if so what was there answer ?


have you been accepted by society can you tell us about this and how it has made you feel ?



most importantly can you give advice to young people wishing to go down this path ?

 

[lonelyDude]

Also thank you for doing this

personally I think any disrespect here given by one of the trans community after that bullshit that went on before is totally founded and to be honest it should be us apologising.

 

[hylite]

Also thank you for doing this

personally I think any disrespect here given by one of the trans community after that bullshit that went on before is totally founded and to be honest it should be us apologising.

That was nice.

 

[Eligiu]

Also thank you for doing this

personally I think any disrespect here given by one of the trans community after that bullshit that went on before is totally founded and to be honest it should be us apologising.

It is nice of you to apologise on behalf of your cis associate, but I assure you I don't hold any I'll will against the rest of you. I'm putting my contact lenses in now so I'll answer your questions you asked in a moment.

 

[Eligiu]

what was your dream job as a child ?

was it the same as the profession you have taken on ?

if they are different would you change paths now ?




when did you notice that you wanted to change gender ?

have you asked this of other trans gender people and if so what was there answer ?


have you been accepted by society can you tell us about this and how it has made you feel ?



most importantly can you give advice to young people wishing to go down this path ?

My dream job was to be an astronaut. In fact it still is, I just can't do maths or physics so it's impossible.

Not the same profession.

If I could be an astronaut and I suddenly didn't lack the ability to correctly recognise numbers I would definitely change. I would love to go to space.

I first had signs of gender dysphoria as a young child, my first memory I can recall is using a tube bath toy to pee into the toilet standing up like my brother when I was around 4. I screamed and cried when forced to wear dresses for family photos. My friends at school were exclusively boys and I played sports with them at lunch and recess. I played with the boys soccer teams throughout my childhood and teenage years. I used bandages to bind my chest when I was 12 before I even knew what binding was. It just goes on and on. When I was 18-19 I met another trans guy at NA and he disclosed that he was trans and suddenly my whole life made complete sense. In that moment I knew I had no choice but to transition.

Trans people are and aren't accepted by society. The cool people who are chill have no issues with us, the lame douchebags who think if I identify as a man with a vagina that somehow makes them less of a man because dearly me is their perfect phallic penis meaningless now? The glorious definition of their dominant manhood reduced to *sniff* a shaft and a ballsack? Yeah, transphobes are whack.

I don't advise any young person to get into sex work or escorting unless they really know what they're getting into. And definitely do not do it because you want to be able to spend more money on drugs. You will almost certainly regret it.

 

[Eligiu]

I mean you are talking to someone that for a longtime was surrounded by homosexuality. I was going clubbing in a gay club most weekends. I've hooked up with dudes. I love gays just as much as everyone else. But no, I wouldn't feel gay fucking pussy so I'm secretly a homophobe that hates his friends.

Also, you are the one that brought up fucking me. Lol. That's called a retort mate.

I don't sleep with prostitutes because I don't want to support it. I think it's an 'easy way out' for many girls and they are capable of much bigger and better things. I looked out for all my girls, I was loved by them. I don't think it's bad to be a prostitute I just think it takes the wind out of otherwise motivated woman(and men).

Wow you are really bad at this.

I didn't say you were homophobic at any stage. You brought up having gay friends.

I said you're transphobic because you impliedly misgendered me by saying sex with an ftm (aka me) isn't gay.

You also failed to consider the fact that many ftm people have had full gender affirmation surgery and therefore do not have a vagina, therefore proving your ignorance once again at making such a blanket statement. .

I brought up fucking you to prove the point (which you seen to keep astoundingly missing) that you won't ever have to wonder whether being balls deep in pussy makes you gay further than this purely hypothetical example because none of us will fuck you, therefore it matters not whether you think fucking an ftm is gay or not in regard to other people because the only thing that matters is whether THEY agree that it's gay. The only time it matters whether you think it's gay (which you don't) is in relation to you. Since we have established that because of your viewpoint that it is straight sex, your opinion becomes even more worthless and redundant. You can't make a generalised statement on the topic that might value add such as a widely held belief that fucking a trans man is gay/straight as I think you'd find it's probably around a 50/50 hit rate with that. So your opinion is purely regarding whether YOU think it's gay. You do not. Therefore no trans man will fuck you, ergo your opinion on whether sex with one of them is gay doesn't need to be verbalised as you're not relevant to any situation in which the actual scenario unfolds.

Your retort was apalling. I say I don't want to fuck you. You cannot get ahead of me by saying the same thing back, because it's already been written down hours before you said it. You can't then go well you can't fuck me because my obvious reply to that is 'no duh, dickwad, I said I didn't want to, weren't you listening earlier.'

You literally pulled the equivalent of a 5 year old fight where I said 'you're dumb' and you, because you couldn't think of anything original just stole my insult and rebranded it as 'well you're dumber' like did you put any effort in at all?

Seriously dude the reason I take issue with you and you alone is that you walked into my thread, posted a dumb irrelevant opinion about your own beliefs that no one gives a shit about (this just in, people hold differing opinions about whether sex with trans men is gay or straight and at no point were they invited to share this opinion in this thread because no one cares about what they have to say about how they would identity sex if THEY had it with a trans man, since they cannot speak for anyone else).

You LITERALLY put yourself in the position of being balls deep in vagina dude, that was you proverbially fucking a trans guy for the sake of your own arguement. Then when it didn't suit you anymore you discarded it to pretend I brought up us not wanting to fuck you for zero reason.

You view sex with me and other trans men the same way that the straight men who abused me, misgendered me while they fucked me, degraded me and humiliated me view it.

And you can't see why that is a problem?

 

[moonyham]

"I said you're transphobic because you impliedly misgendered me by saying sex with an ftm (aka me) isn't gay.

You also failed to consider the fact that many ftm people have had full gender affirmation surgery and therefore do not have a vagina, therefore proving your ignorance once again at making such a blanket statement. ."

Misgendered you? You have a vagina. I said nothing about gender. My penis inside of a vagina not feeling gay is nothing to do with your gender lol. Wtf.

And no I didn't fail to consider that. You presented yourself as ftm with a vagina so that's what my comment was referring to? You think I don't understand there are people who fully transition?

The rest of what you've written is just nonsense honestly. You apparently can speak for the entire Trans community.. You are the queen of Trans. Apparently. Yeah.. Whatever. I think you need to settle down on the hate for those that are different than you, personally.

 

[hylite]

Ohmy Lord have mercy what was the question !

 

[hylite]

There goes another perfectly informative thread !!

 

[hylite]

Wouldn't it be great if there was a dispute and questions and answers broke out.

I have one. What are sex workers favorite health food ?

Are they health food conscious for goodness sake !!

 

[Eligiu]

"I said you're transphobic because you impliedly misgendered me by saying sex with an ftm (aka me) isn't gay.

You also failed to consider the fact that many ftm people have had full gender affirmation surgery and therefore do not have a vagina, therefore proving your ignorance once again at making such a blanket statement. ."

Misgendered you? You have a vagina. I said nothing about gender. My penis inside of a vagina not feeling gay is nothing to do with your gender lol. Wtf.

And no I didn't fail to consider that. You presented yourself as ftm with a vagina so that's what my comment was referring to? You think I don't understand there are people who fully transition?

The rest of what you've written is just nonsense honestly. You apparently can speak for the entire Trans community.. You are the queen of Trans. Apparently. Yeah.. Whatever. I think you need to settle down on the hate for those that are different than you, personally.

You are just so dense.

You impliedly misgendered me by saying sex between a man and a ftm is straight, because straight sex is between a woman and a man. That was the misgendering.

I didn't present myself as anything. The most I've done is say that I didn't really do anal. You've said more about my genitals than I have, which again is pretty damn standard for a transphobe.

And then you misgendered me again by calling me a queen when you could have just as easily used the word king.

Like honestly man it's really low effort at this point you're just making yourself look bad. I'm kind of embarrassed that you keep arguing this point.

 

[Eligiu]

Wouldn't it be great if there was a dispute and questions and answers broke out.

I have one. What are sex workers favorite health food ?

Are they health food conscious for goodness sake !!

I usually make a smoothie in my Nutribullet either morning or night with mixed berries, frozen banana, peanut butter, maple syrup, soy milk, and cinnamon in it.

I'm not sure I would count that as a health food though.

 

[hylite]

I usually make a smoothie in my Nutribullet either morning or night with mixed berries, frozen banana, peanut butter, maple syrup, soy milk, and cinnamon in it.

I'm not sure I would count that as a health food though.

Awesome you !!

Couldn't be all that bad either