AMA Ask A Trans Sex Worker (Almost) Anything

[arrall]

what in the everloving fuck even is 'pansexual'. Unless you're taking the word literally, in which case it means 'would fuck absolutely anything'.

What happened to just saying you're bi. There's 2 basic sexes, therefore there's only 3 possible sexual orientations, straight, gay or bi. If you can be attracted to both males and females then you're bi, period. But everyone has to be extra spicy these days and needs all kinds of special labels.

You may or may not be willing to consider a transsexual partner, but if you do consider it, that doesn't require some invented extra sexuality. Pansexual is a wholly unnecessary term. Bisexual covers transsexuals. As far as I can gather calling yourself 'pan' translates as 'I sleep with men and women and also THE TRANS because I'm so nice and open-minded'. Thus putting trans men and women into a seperate category which is kind of insulting. I've never once come across a single person using the pansexual label who wasn't insufferably narcissistic and doing it purely to virtue-signal how morally superior they were to us 'mere' bisexuals.

idk man, let people identify however they want. Not sure why you are so upset over me mentioning the term 'pansexual'.
Pansexual people generally tell me that it means that gender and biological sex is more irrelevant to them with partners.
Bisexual people seem to prefer overtly masculine or feminine partners, while pansexual people tend to be a lot more open to non binary partners who do not fit into gender roles as much. Nothing wrong with either, people just have their varying preferences.
At least that's my interpretation of it.

 

[Eligiu]

have biological females requested your services?

No, but I only advertise on a gay escort website for men. Women in general don't want to hire escorts as much as men do so the business is less lucrative. As much as I'd prefer cis female clients I'd rather make more money.

It would surprise me if the answer was yes. A straight woman is gonna want cock and a gay woman is gonna want, well, another actual WOMAN.

The answer is no but as stated that's because I advertise on a website for gay male escorts. Every one of my past partners has been a cis straight woman, so the assumption that straight women want dick isn't entirely true.

 

[Eligiu]

idk man, let people identify however they want. Not sure why you are so upset over me mentioning the term 'pansexual'.
Pansexual people generally tell me that it means that gender and biological sex is more irrelevant to them with partners.
Bisexual people seem to prefer overtly masculine or feminine partners, while pansexual people tend to be a lot more open to non binary partners who do not fit into gender roles as much. Nothing wrong with either, people just have their varying preferences.
At least that's my interpretation of it.

This is my experience with it as well. Plenty of bisexual people exclude trans people from their dating pool or pool of sexual partners. Pansexual people tend to not view genitals as important and will date or fuck whoever takes their fancy at the time.

They obviously also will happily accept non binary people as both sexual and romantic partners.

I suppose that does make me pansexual, although I wouldn't sleep with another trans man due to dysphoria. I could possibly date one but I'd rather date a trans woman. I tend to tell people I'm bisexual out of ease as many people don't know what being pansexual is but it would be the most appropriate term to describe me.

It isn't virtue signalling that you're better than trans people if bisexual people still exclude them as partners. It's signalling that you, on the other hand, will include them.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

1) How did you go about finding clients when you first began?

2) How real is the threat of violence, or, how often does it happen?

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

As @arrall has said, while bisexual people are attracted to both men and women (whether or not that includes trans individuals), people who identify as pansexual tend not to care about sex or gender, or are attracted to all sexes and genders, so that would also include transmen and transwomen (which bisexual people may or may not be attracted to), intersex people, non-binary and gender-fluid people, etc*


*anyone who identifies as bi or pan and disagrees with this, please feel free to correct me.

 

[yubacity]

sorruy guys for that rambling message will write in morning what i wanted to knoe

 

[Eligiu]

1) How did you go about finding clients when you first began?

2) How real is the threat of violence, or, how often does it happen?

1) the woman who was my first real hard drug dealer was a long term sex worker and advised I put ads up in the Craigslist personals section advertising myself. I would then pick the person who offered me the highest price for what I was willing to accept. Then I would give them an address near a bus stop close to my house to pick me up from and if they weren't A grade cunts they would drop me off home. If not, I sometimes asked my dealers to pick me up and drop me home after I copped off them as I'd usually buy a decent amount and they tended to like me due to me never asking for tick or credit, being a reliable and on time customer, and always having the cash for it. If they couldn't I would ask my friend and old housemate to come pick me up and attempt to not reveal what I had been doing, though he often managed to guess. The better clients I would give my phone number to so they could contact me regularly. The bad ones I would write down their email address and or phone number if I had it so I knew never to see them again. I eventually had a handful of regular not awful but not great clients plus one offs here and there.

2) Almost always as a rule they pushed the envelope on the terms we agreed to. As a rule I wasn't super into anal at the time due in part to some trauma and most of the time we agreed to not doing anal but they would always end up demanding it anyway. Some of them would give up when it became obvious that it just wasn't going to happen, others didn't let that stop them. There was always a sense of trepidation I had when entering a clients house because I knew that I could easily die there that night and no one would know for maybe weeks. That feeling never went away until I got into higher class escorting where sometimes I escort medical professionals, lawyers, and the like. So the threat of violence was very real, because additionally many of the men I saw back then had some pretty specific demands of me like me referring to myself in very gross and sexual derogatory misgendering ways (off the top of my head I would say the worst thing someone demanded I call myself was 'daddies little cumslut' and I sort of refused to do it because we didn't agree to that but he slapped me fairly hard then started choking me until I said I'd do it) and if I didn't do it they would generally slap, punch or choke me until I relented. Initially I kept refusing because I refused to degrade myself like that but one night my ex housemate picked me up (obviously the client wasn't nice enough to drive me the 10km back home in the rain) and he didn't get a good look at me in the car because it was so dark and I looked away while the interior light was on but when we got home once I was inside he could very easily see me starting to get a black eye and my lip was split, so that resulted in a pretty tense discussion between us about my nighttime Activites. Another aspect of this level of violence was because of quite obviously being a junky (I'd sometimes be in clear withdrawal during the booking) because they would see my trackmarks and bruises the moment I took my shirt off because I wasn't great at shooting up. One of them actually told me after assaulting me during the booking that he wouldn't let me shower and clean myself up or give me a lift home because he wanted people to see I was a 'faggot junky whore' or something similar and that was a shared sentiment amongst these types of men. When they pay you as low as $50 an hour, they don't view you as a person, you're an object to them for their wants and needs and your wants and needs aren't relevant. So a lot of them mistreated me due to wanting to inflict more suffering on me due to my circumstances, because I wasn't in a position to say no (unlike other people would). Some men would also demand I allow them to not use protection (which you would think is sheer stupidity on their part because if I say yes to them, who else would I have said yes to?) Often after they would ask I would just go 'look I really prefer to wear protection but if you're not going to give me a choice there's nothing much I can do, but just so you know the reason that I'm here is so that I have enough money to buy the drugs I'm going to inject when I get home' then pull my shirt off and let them see the trackmarks and watch them quickly get a condom out. The handful of times that didn't work (again Jesus, stupidity) I had to go to the sexual health clinic the following morning for the free morning after pill (couldn't afford it for $30 at the chemist and wanted to avoid the awkward questions about why a man would be buying that) and the clinic prioritises certain groups who are at higher risk and as a transgender, gay sex worker who injects drugs that shoots me to basically getting seen the second I walk in the door, perks of the lifestyle I suppose - it's my one benefit I have over the cisgender heterosexual people who have to wait 2+ hours to be seen. Possibly the only time we have the advantage lol. But yeah clinic, pill, PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis for HIV cause I'm not stupid, if they fuck me without a condom they'll fuck anyone without one) and a panel of tests. Then back for more tests one or two weeks later. Eventually I got put on PrEP (Pre Exposure Prophylaxis) after I'd come in for PEP around 6 times in as many months and the clinic doctor told me it would be better to just take that instead and sort of pressured me into it for my own good.

So yeah, those are the threats of violence I experienced and the outcomes and results of the violence. Rape (as in coercive sex we don't consent to), physical assault, I'm not sure what I'd term the lack of protection forced under duress but there's probably a term for it.

The men I escort for now are nothing like that. They ask for permission before touching me at all, during any sexual activity they ask for consent, if I change my mind they accept that and they always make sure I can have a shower, freshen up, and have a ride home if I haven't driven there myself which I usually do.

So per my definition of sex work, risk of violence is very high. A friend of mine who was an ex street sex worker has a very similar story to mine minus the trans part. Very abusive men.

As an escort, especially a higher class one, once you have an established client base your risk of harm is very low. Basically I will do a couple of 'incall' (my house) sessions with the client before agreeing to an 'outcall' (their house) or overnight session with them and when I do I have my sex worker friend checking in on me throughout the session and over to the next day until I've left the premises if I stay overnight because we look after eachother like that.

That was a very long post but you asked some interesting questions which I had a lot to talk about and I'm admittedly still a bit stimmed from last night so you get a novel. My replies tomorrow will probably be much shorter as I'll be busy most of the day.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

1) the woman who was my first real hard drug dealer was a long term sex worker and advised I put ads up in the Craigslist personals section advertising myself. I would then pick the person who offered me the highest price for what I was willing to accept. Then I would give them an address near a bus stop close to my house to pick me up from and if they weren't A grade cunts they would drop me off home. If not, I sometimes asked my dealers to pick me up and drop me home after I copped off them as I'd usually buy a decent amount and they tended to like me due to me never asking for tick or credit, being a reliable and on time customer, and always having the cash for it. If they couldn't I would ask my friend and old housemate to come pick me up and attempt to not reveal what I had been doing, though he often managed to guess. The better clients I would give my phone number to so they could contact me regularly. The bad ones I would write down their email address and or phone number if I had it so I knew never to see them again. I eventually had a handful of regular not awful but not great clients plus one offs here and there.

2) Almost always as a rule they pushed the envelope on the terms we agreed to. As a rule I wasn't super into anal at the time due in part to some trauma and most of the time we agreed to not doing anal but they would always end up demanding it anyway. Some of them would give up when it became obvious that it just wasn't going to happen, others didn't let that stop them. There was always a sense of trepidation I had when entering a clients house because I knew that I could easily die there that night and no one would know for maybe weeks. That feeling never went away until I got into higher class escorting where sometimes I escort medical professionals, lawyers, and the like. So the threat of violence was very real, because additionally many of the men I saw back then had some pretty specific demands of me like me referring to myself in very gross and sexual derogatory misgendering ways (off the top of my head I would say the worst thing someone demanded I call myself was 'daddies little cumslut' and I sort of refused to do it because we didn't agree to that but he slapped me fairly hard then started choking me until I said I'd do it) and if I didn't do it they would generally slap, punch or choke me until I relented. Initially I kept refusing because I refused to degrade myself like that but one night my ex housemate picked me up (obviously the client wasn't nice enough to drive me the 10km back home in the rain) and he didn't get a good look at me in the car because it was so dark and I looked away while the interior light was on but when we got home once I was inside he could very easily see me starting to get a black eye and my lip was split, so that resulted in a pretty tense discussion between us about my nighttime Activites. Another aspect of this level of violence was because of quite obviously being a junky (I'd sometimes be in clear withdrawal during the booking) because they would see my trackmarks and bruises the moment I took my shirt off because I wasn't great at shooting up. One of them actually told me after assaulting me during the booking that he wouldn't let me shower and clean myself up or give me a lift home because he wanted people to see I was a 'faggot junky whore' or something similar and that was a shared sentiment amongst these types of men. When they pay you as low as $50 an hour, they don't view you as a person, you're an object to them for their wants and needs and your wants and needs aren't relevant. So a lot of them mistreated me due to wanting to inflict more suffering on me due to my circumstances, because I wasn't in a position to say no (unlike other people would). Some men would also demand I allow them to not use protection (which you would think is sheer stupidity on their part because if I say yes to them, who else would I have said yes to?) Often after they would ask I would just go 'look I really prefer to wear protection but if you're not going to give me a choice there's nothing much I can do, but just so you know the reason that I'm here is so that I have enough money to buy the drugs I'm going to inject when I get home' then pull my shirt off and let them see the trackmarks and watch them quickly get a condom out. The handful of times that didn't work (again Jesus, stupidity) I had to go to the sexual health clinic the following morning for the free morning after pill (couldn't afford it for $30 at the chemist and wanted to avoid the awkward questions about why a man would be buying that) and the clinic prioritises certain groups who are at higher risk and as a transgender, gay sex worker who injects drugs that shoots me to basically getting seen the second I walk in the door, perks of the lifestyle I suppose - it's my one benefit I have over the cisgender heterosexual people who have to wait 2+ hours to be seen. Possibly the only time we have the advantage lol. But yeah clinic, pill, PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis for HIV cause I'm not stupid, if they fuck me without a condom they'll fuck anyone without one) and a panel of tests. Then back for more tests one or two weeks later. Eventually I got put on PrEP (Pre Exposure Prophylaxis) after I'd come in for PEP around 6 times in as many months and the clinic doctor told me it would be better to just take that instead and sort of pressured me into it for my own good.

So yeah, those are the threats of violence I experienced and the outcomes and results of the violence. Rape (as in coercive sex we don't consent to), physical assault, I'm not sure what I'd term the lack of protection forced under duress but there's probably a term for it.

The men I escort for now are nothing like that. They ask for permission before touching me at all, during any sexual activity they ask for consent, if I change my mind they accept that and they always make sure I can have a shower, freshen up, and have a ride home if I haven't driven there myself which I usually do.

So per my definition of sex work, risk of violence is very high. A friend of mine who was an ex street sex worker has a very similar story to mine minus the trans part. Very abusive men.

As an escort, especially a higher class one, once you have an established client base your risk of harm is very low. Basically I will do a couple of 'incall' (my house) sessions with the client before agreeing to an 'outcall' (their house) or overnight session with them and when I do I have my sex worker friend checking in on me throughout the session and over to the next day until I've left the premises if I stay overnight because we look after eachother like that.

That was a very long post but you asked some interesting questions which I had a lot to talk about and I'm admittedly still a bit stimmed from last night so you get a novel. My replies tomorrow will probably be much shorter as I'll be busy most of the day.

Thank you for the honest and thorough reply!

I'm sorry for some of those awful experiences!

I've seriously considered the same line of work (partially for money for drugs and partially just for the money), but starting off on the low end (which I'd assume you have to do?) is very scary.

I'll give this the longer, proper reply it deserves later, I just want to think for a bit.

 

[Eligiu]

Thank you for the honest and thorough reply!

I'm sorry for some of those awful experiences!

I've seriously considered the same line of work (partially for money for drugs and partially just for the money), but starting off on the low end (which I'd assume you have to do?) is very scary.

I'll give this the longer, proper reply it deserves later, I just want to think for a bit.

I'm generally pretty open with my sex work experiences, it is kind of amusing to me being a sex worker and an almost admitted lawyer in a country and state where sex work isn't fully legal, but an old friend of mine who used to make very apt observations of me once said I was the very definition of a walking contradiction and I can understand where the sentiment comes from, when things like those two conflicting jobs are taken into account.

It's also funny because with my actual proper legal job I also have clients so I have to always specify which work I'm talking about when I mention a client otherwise people sometimes get a bit lost.

To be honest, I would be remiss not to give you a strong warning against starting up sex work (specifically on the lower end) for drugs. I got into sex work due to life circumstances. I didn't start out with Craigslist, my first ever sex work experience was when I was begging outside a Hungry Jack's (Australian Burger King, don't ask me why the name is different idk) and a man offered to buy me dinner because he wanted to help but didn't give money to homeless people in case they spent it on drugs. I told him I did often take drugs but I was actually just really hungry as I hadn't eaten for 3 days (I also didn't have my student payments so I was surviving off money from a gold bar I sold, grants from the University, and payments I made from housesitting - house-sitting can actually be far more lucrative than lower end sex work if you can nail the right people and I'd just done a gig in this mansion up in some rich suburb for a month and gotten like $1000 from it plus a warm place to sleep and a cute dog to take for a daily walk and look after. I really suggest looking into this instead and searching for people who need particularly pet sitters if you can handle the responsibility of keeping someone's cat or dog alive for a couple of weeks. My parents sometimes go away for 1-3 months and they pay a woman $3000 to take care of their cats while they're gone. Seriously, it's better money with none of the associated risks and you can get some sweet gigs) so I really just wanted food. He took me to a Chinese place and I think I had a whole container of honey chicken then I asked whether he could give me some extra money for a prescription I needed and explained I was on hormones so I couldn't miss my dose. This made him very interested (big mistake telling him imo) and he said he would pay for it for me when we left the restaurant at the nearby chemist if I went home and had sex with him. I reluctantly agreed because for me I didn't really have a choice. Not being on welfare meant the testosterone was $45 instead of $6. I could have begged the money if it had been the lower price and would have spent the money I begged on the medication and gone without food another day. But I didn't get that option because the most I ever begged in a night was maybe $20 before being turfed away from there.

We walked back to his car and drove to his place and he offered me a place to sleep that night and a ride back to the city the next morning too which I accepted as I was sleeping under bridges with my stuff stored at a friend's place at the time until I could crash with another friend in a week or so. When we got there we did what he was paying for but it was particularly unpleasant as he made me take my binder off (which was a huge cause of dysphoria for me as I have never ever enjoyed seeing nor having people see or touch my chest until I had surgery, now I'm fine with it) and he was very into that. Plus I was stone cold sober for the whole time.

A week or so later I went to my GP for my injection and he asked about my ongoing weight loss by questioning when the last time I ate was. I said 3-4 days and he asked how I got the money for the hormones. I refused to answer. I felt so disgusted in myself for doing what I did and I wanted to get high even more than I previously did because of how I felt. I've never actually told my GP about the sex work I did back then, nor the escorting but I am considering telling him as that day he gave me money from his own pocket for food which meant I wouldn't go out and do sex work again now that I knew a fast and simple way of making more money than I could begging. I did restrain myself initially though as I was concerned it would create a vicious cycle.

It eventually did. When I needed to do sex work, I needed drugs to tolerate the sex work itself, so I'd spend money I had budgeted for something else (usually food) on meth or codeine or actually most commonly DXM as it's a Dissociative and it helped me get through the sessions because of the trauma. So then I would do the session and be so traumatised because I managed to get so unlucky the clients I would see would quite literally recreate my childhood trauma through sexual inappropriateness and non consensual activities plus misgendering that when I got home with my drugs I was often more miserable because I didn't have enough to overdose and kill myself. I would have if I'd been 'lucky' enough at the time to have ever made enough money but I never charged nor got offered enough. So then my drug use would also escalate in periods I was doing sex work (usually most frequently this was when I managed to get access to heroin which was unusual in my city cause it's basically just all meth here) and I'd do so much I'd be practically useless for a week until the source got inevitably busted because the cops here sniff out heroin in an instant. I also did it for more meth, when my tolerance increased. So you see I find myself warning you strongly against starting this for the exact reason you find yourself thinking about it. Sex work for drugs always ends in misery. One of the reasons escorting for me now is fine even with the sex is because I never spend the money on drugs nor use drugs to get through the session.

Sex work for drugs teaches you whole new ways to hate yourself and every fibre of your being when you're stuck in that cycle. It's not glamourous, it's not fun, and it's not cool (not that I think you think it's any of those things. I think the fact that you asked such smart questions of a prior sex worker prior to engaging in it yourself indicates your intelligence). But you become the very definition of a junky whore/crack whore and these men will know when they meet you if you don't do it right how desperate you are for that money and that is their invitation to push the limit as far as it will go and many of them just won't take no for an answer.

If you are set on going forward with this however in the interest of harm reduction I will provide you with the advice I got off a non binary drag queen escort who I routinely hook up with who I met on Grindr a few years ago. Search for a reputable internet agency that allows you to pay a fee to advertise your services. Usually they advertise you 'spending time' together and that 'what you choose to do with your time is between two consenting adults'. It usually will ask you to input information about your body, and you'll need to provide some photos. I keep my face cropped out of pictures to be as discreet as possible and I'm not entirely pleased that my very identifiable tattoos are visible but it's the best I can do. You can use websites like Locanto but they're more for street and lower level sex work. Find a website and pay the fee for service. Then browse the list of available escorts in your area and take note of their prices. Check their profile for their body type information and make a fair judgement about your level of attractiveness compared to the other profiles and set your price just below, just above, or to match according to where you rate yourself against them. Try to be fair on yourself. If you've been told many times that you are indeed attractive (which I have from men on Grindr, fellow sex workers, older gay men who were upset that I was trans because if only I had a penis then we could fuck, the women I've dated, and clients, then don't sell yourself short like I initially did. Charge what you're worth. As a very dear friend of mine who has been working in the industry a long time told me when I discussed my prices with her, the men who won't pay you don't want as your clients. They're the type of men who would pay an underage streetwalker for sex in a public bathroom and throw a $20 note on the ground as payment. The men who want it enough will pay whatever price you name. Guaranteed. It will take you a while to build up a client base but it will happen. When I raised my prices I lost a bunch of clients and I'm still struggling getting them back because it's 'quiet season' here in the industry at the moment. But come spring they will start spending their money again.

ALWAYS use protection, including for blowjobs. This is for their safety just as much as yours and a good client will accept and be grateful for that. Don't accept more money for discarding the condom. It isn't worth it.

Start taking PrEP. I don't know what gender you are but both men and women and everyone else can get a PrEP prescription especially if they're at higher risk for HIV which you will be as a sex worker who uses drugs. It will bring you peace of mind if something does go wrong.

Have a friend who is monitoring you whenever you do a call. As in they check in when they client arrives and you tell them how long the booking is and they check in when they leave. It's how you stay safe. Even make it clear to the client that you are expecting a phone call from someone after the booking by saying as much.

Don't agree to do things you don't actually want to do. Some dude wanted me to shower naked with him so he could 'soap up my genitals' and my dry sardonic humour kicked in (same guy I ended up bullying who I mentioned in the original comment) so I informed him that soap and vagina doesn't mix and you're only supposed to use plain water. He was so dumb. But point being my shower in my old apartment ran cold after less than 10 min so it was in and out. It was also very small so the most he would be doing would be watching me shower. I also really just dislike showering in general and don't do it more than necessary. Plus I have zero desire to shower with another person. I said no. Couldn't pay me to do it. I'm just not interested. It's more pleasant when the activities are something you at least somewhat enjoy.

So yeah that's my advice. If you want to talk more about your decision feel free to DM me or reach me on discord if you're on there.

 

[assclass]

Not strictly about sex work but do you have a portrayal of a trans man in media that you like? (I know there is not a great deal to choose from) or equally a portrayal of sex work that you think speaks to the truth of it?

Boys Don't Cry

​

 

[Eligiu]

Boys Don't Cry

​

Wow, you like that movie? There's other portrayals of trans men which don't end in corrective rape lol. What a weird movie to enjoy.

 

[Cantigo]

Were your clients mostly men, or did women also request services often?

 

[Eligiu]

Were your clients mostly men, or did women also request services often?

Exclusively men for both sex work and escorting. Woman as a general rule are far less interested in hiring sex workers or escort partners for an evening date. When women hire erotic workers, they usually hire male strippers for special events and I, unfortunately, due to my spectacular laziness and decidedly final unwillingness to resign myself to a lifetime of dry chicken and salad and water do not have washboard abs or a stunning male physique. I am slim, but I'm not a model in the body department.

I've applied for modelling in terms of me doing it clothed, and I was knocked back for height. They only hire models that are over six foot in my city, all the major agencies at least. I even tried to convince them to hire me for special diversity points by having a trans male model on their agency page to no avail. Too short by a mere 4 inches. And I'm not even short for a trans man, I'm really tall. We have no hope in cisgender modelling.

 

[moonyham]

I find this kind of interesting. I wouldn't consider it gay to fuck a ftm. It's still pussy.

I don't think I could convince myself I'm being gay while I'm balls deep in vagina ya know.

 

[hylite]

What is something you would like to share with us as far as your personal beliefs that are close to your heart (if that isn't too nonspecific) you know, to get to know you even better or a something just short and sweet if ya want ?? Your astrology sign ? Are you a people person, do you like to socialize a lot and interested in what others do think ? I just found this an opportunity for sharing and thank you for being you !

 

[Eligiu]

I find this kind of interesting. I wouldn't consider it gay to fuck a ftm. It's still pussy.

I don't think I could convince myself I'm being gay while I'm balls deep in vagina ya know.

Seems like you're a bit caught up in how you associate your penis with masculinity, instead of understanding that gender is something that you experience rather than what's between your legs.

There are plenty of men who agree with you, however there are many more who aren't that upright about measuring their manhood by virtue of a phallus, and don't see anything less than gay about having sex with me considering especially that I look like a cisgender man, with the minute exclusion of my junk. If you met me in person you would immediately gender me as male automatically, so I daresay you would find some level of cognitive dissonance regarding looking at me as a cis passing male, then saying sex with me is not gay.

The men who book me are gay, and many men to hook up with me on Grindr are also gay, including the neverending list of those who message me saying 'ive never hooked up with a trans guy before but I want to and I'm keen to try' who then come over, enjoy themselves a lot, and leave still firmly identifying as gay.

I wrote about this in another thread, explaining that some cisgender people find trans people flipping the genitals = masculinity/femininity on its head so threatening that they feel the need to try to misgender us in any way they can, but I assure you, your manhood is not in any way threatened by me not having a penis. You are a man, regardless of your genitals because genitals do not make someone's gender. You, surely, also feel like a man when you consider yourself as a person beyond just having a dick and balls. There is so much more to masculinity than having a phallic shaped body part dangling between your legs and if you can't understand that, you're really missing out man. Don't limit yourself like that.

So, did you have an actual question to ask which would contribute value to the thread, or did you just come in here to make a snide remark about how it isn't really gay to fuck a trans man and subtly misgender me in the process of doing so? Because it seems like your comment wasn't actually necessary at all, and just serves to be a thinly veiled insult towards me based on your own insecurities about your masculinity.

If you don't think it's gay to fuck me then that's totally fine. I am absolutely not going to fuck you, for that specific reason. I don't disrespect myself like that. Nor, actually, would any other trans man. Shockingly, we don't actually want to fuck men who view sex with us as straight. You're unappealing to our group as a whole. Someone would need to be the pinnacle of self loathing in order to subject themselves to that type of misery. In fact on my Grindr profile I literally have it written 'i do not hook up with men who consider themselves straight' interestingly, I had to write that after endless self proclaimed straight men wanted to hook up with me. No thanks.

So fear not my friend, you never have to worry about whether fucking a trans man will be straight or gay, because if you think it's straight and you tell them that, they will run in the opposite direction and you won't even need to spare a thought questioning whether you would need to be 'balls deep in man pussy' and consider yourself gay. It just won't ever happen. Not from me, not from another trans man. We prefer fucking men who respect our gender identities and are confident enough in their masculinity that that don't make their penis the sole defining trait of their manhood that they carry with them. I wouldn't waste more time considering this point my man, it's purely hypothetical for you and will forever remain so.

Tl;dr, low hanging fruit. Try again next time with a more original slight. This is the most average of attempted transphobia that I've come across recently, I would rate it a firm 0/10.

I mean bro, the fact that I actually had you questioning whether or not it *would* make you gay sort of means I win on default really, hey?

The sheer audacity from the cis thinking that trans people actually want to fuck them is stunning. Understand this, we are not desperate. We don't want to fuck all cis people, we certainly don't want to fuck you (and I wouldn't even if you paid me). I cannot believe someone would actually write 'i don't view sex with an ftm as gay' and then make the assumption they would ever in their lifetime be in a situation where they would be fucking an ftm lol. Like bro, you aren't doing us a favour by fucking us, none of us are grateful for your attention, we have plenty of sex with who we want, when we want. Why do cis people always think that trans people would automatically agree to have sex with them. It boggles the mind. I would sooner never have sex again than be in a situation where I fucked a man who considered sex with me straight, that's how unappealing it is to me. I'd rather just jerk myself of forever as an alternative. I can't believe you actually thought your comment was necessary or valuable. Oh, thank god you contributed a comment about how you view sex with ftm' people as straight because you can't seperate genitals from gender. In a thread titled ask me anything. This thread absolutely needed your important contribution to the discussion at hand, and now can progress smoothly since we've established that at least one person is vain enough to think he can insult trans men, then imagine himself hypothetically fucking one because trans people are just so lonely and miserable that we would agree to have sex with someone who refuses to acknowledge our identified gender just because. Pull the other one bro. Give me a break lol.

Go find another cis person to fuck and leave trans people out of your sexual thoughts, we don't even deserve to be thought about in that way. Stay in your exclusive penis only club, ill happily take the rest of the guys who have no such qualms about genitalia and don't expect me to fuck them just because they provided me with some attention. It's trite.

 

[Eligiu]

What is something you would like to share with us as far as your personal beliefs that are close to your heart (if that isn't too nonspecific) you know, to get to know you even better or a something just short and sweet if ya want ?? Your astrology sign ? Are you a people person, do you like to socialize a lot and interested in what others do think ? I just found this an opportunity for sharing and thank you for being you !

I'm a Scorpio, which apparently is supposed to mean I'm intense in love of something absurd like that. I'm actually just really awkward and don't succeed well at romance. I like spending time with close friends, especially one on one and doing a shared activity like playing a videogame or something, or geocaching. I don't socialise heaps, I'm very autistic so I find it extremely draining being around big groups of people at social gatherings. I'm social online and over private messaging. I suppose I somewhat care about certain things that people think, like my credibility and my integrity, and my honesty, my good hearted nature and my desire to help people as much as possible. But I don't spare much though to people who hold negative opinions of me. As far as I'm concerned if I live rent free in their head then I'm the winner.

 

[hylite]

WOW ! So many Scorpio's. Thank you for your reply !

 

[Eligiu]

WOW ! So many Scorpio's. Thank you for your reply !

You're very welcome. Thank you for asking me such chill and nice questions which were different from most of the stuff I've been asked here and usually get asked by people when I disclose being an escort. It was nice to talk about something different for a change.

 

[hylite]

You're very welcome. Thank you for asking me such chill and nice questions which were different from most of the stuff I've been asked here and usually get asked by people when I disclose being an escort. It was nice to talk about something different for a change.

Yes, I have been reading slowly and comprehensively. Thanks for opportunities. And for this as well.
And most of all for sharing.