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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Girlfriend in 6 year relationship just broke up with me after my cancer diagnosis and 6 month chemotherapy.

Sergeant Absent said:
I mean, what does one do when presented with one of the ultimate reasons to relapse? I couldn't stop myself it was utterly compulsive and I knew I wanted to do it. But 10 years dry and no pipe man ...10 Years! I hate myself but I couldn't control it
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You're not back to square one so try not to beat yourself up. You've come so far and all those years are worth so much!! Ten years. Amazing. You can do it again.
 
I get why people are calling the girl a cunt but......... BL has a policy of NOT insulting people....whether they are on here or not. We changed the rules that we can't call Trump a prick.....We can't call Putin a Russian asshole and we can't use insults to defame a person as it's just not nice. Whether they are a public figure or someone's wife or just some poor guy on the street.

We can talk about the fact that the OP had a relapse but we aren't going to blame it on the girlfriend and call her names. We reserve the dark side for serious and polite discussion and it was transferred from sex, love and relationships for just that reason. So we can support the OP's relapse and if he wants to blame it on his girlfriend that's fine. Just leave the insults and nasty names out please. Thanks.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
I get why people are calling the girl a cunt but......... BL has a policy of NOT insulting people....whether they are on here or not. We changed the rules that we can't call Trump a prick.....We can't call Putin a Russian asshole and we can't use insults to defame a person as it's just not nice. Whether they are a public figure or someone's wife or just some poor guy on the street.

We can talk about the fact that the OP had a relapse but we aren't going to blame it on the girlfriend and call her names. We reserve the dark side for serious and polite discussion and it was transferred from sex, love and relationships for just that reason. So we can support the OP's relapse and if he wants to blame it on his girlfriend that's fine. Just leave the insults and nasty names out please. Thanks.
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I didn't blame her by the way, I actually said I might of gone that way anyway. I'm not actually blaming any person or cancer or addiction. I take responsibility for the state I'm in now. I blame nothing or no-one.
 
I appreciate your point entirely, but unless I'm wrong...I've never actually blamed anyone, I just said the stereotypical circumstance to relapse presented itself to me and I couldn't control myself. I still blame nothing
 
Sergeant Absent said:
I appreciate your point entirely, but unless I'm wrong...I've never actually blamed anyone, I just said the stereotypical circumstance to relapse presented itself to me and I couldn't control myself. I still blame nothing
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It's all good. You're fine. Just wanted to get people to quit calling your GF a cunt on here because it's my job as I mod TDS. I hope you recover quickly and put the relapse and broken heart behind you.
 
Is that closure of the thread? I'm not saying that's good or bad I just want to know so I don't type into it...there's some really great people here, and I promise you I'm not just getting pissed and writing random shit to people
 
but if what's already's been said can't be built on then I agree, the focus of the kind people here bless them should move to the next person.
 
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i know people might of thought I was a lunatic just publicly putting my mobile number out but....I could't give a flying fuck, if anyone worries I will then become dependent on those callls and my meds being canged then Let me let you all know, i'm not here looking or instigating anything. Just saying.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
Is that closure of the thread? I'm not saying that's good or bad I just want to know so I don't type into it...there's some really great people here, and I promise you I'm not just getting pissed and writing random shit to people
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Of course it isn't closed. Only goal of mine was for people to stop posting insults.

Carry on and write whatever you choose. And people can reply how they choose. Just nicely is all I ask.
 
I think that you need some sleep. Have you run out of white yet? If so, don't get any more, and crash. Things will seem a lot worse when your head is scrambled from crack and lack of sleep.
You truly have been given an excuse to have a blip, but as others have said you're not back to square one.
Sleep, wake up, and try and reassess. Take care and much love, brother.
 
I thought I should at least kind of conclude this. I'm back home now, no pipe and no alcohol, and doing a benzo taper, which will leave me on everything my GP prescribes me which is Lyrica, Amytriptilyne, Tramadol and Citalopram. I've blocked the girl who left me. By the way, anyone who was curious if she left me because I relapsed on benzos....she already knew I was prescribed them in Lithuania so continued obtaining them here. She did not know I was ordering cocaine here and there, but she takes it herself sometimes so it wouldn't of been a factor. Her reason for leaving me was she wants to "live life now" and "if one of my (me) problems is solved then a second one will appear" she also said she didn't want a relationship but wanted to continue "dating" the new guy. Ah well, life goes on, I'm in London, you never know what's round the corner. I'm not being weird but do you lot ever meet up outside this forum? there's some pretty cool people on here, just wondering if you ever went for a coffee or a walk in the park etc, no stalking or leering or luring, just a straight meet and chat, sober.

Either way, a last big thanks from me to everyone who put a lot of thought into their messages when I was off my face in that hotel, they meant a lot and I honestly think it could have been worse had I not written to the forum.

Love <3 to all. I wish you all the best on your journeys too, I feel kind of selfish now that a 5 page thread was written over a girl leaving me.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
I thought I should at least kind of conclude this. I'm back home now, no pipe and no alcohol, and doing a benzo taper, which will leave me on everything my GP prescribes me which is Lyrica, Amytriptilyne, Tramadol and Citalopram. I've blocked the girl who left me. By the way, anyone who was curious if she left me because I relapsed on benzos....she already knew I was prescribed them in Lithuania so continued obtaining them here. She did not know I was ordering cocaine here and there, but she takes it herself sometimes so it wouldn't of been a factor. Her reason for leaving me was she wants to "live life now" and "if one of my (me) problems is solved then a second one will appear" she also said she didn't want a relationship but wanted to continue "dating" the new guy. Ah well, life goes on, I'm in London, you never know what's round the corner. I'm not being weird but do you lot ever meet up outside this forum? there's some pretty cool people on here, just wondering if you ever went for a coffee or a walk in the park etc, no stalking or leering or luring, just a straight meet and chat, sober.

Either way, a last big thanks from me to everyone who put a lot of thought into their messages when I was off my face in that hotel, they meant a lot and I honestly think it could have been worse had I not written to the forum.

Love <3 to all. I wish you all the best on your journeys too, I feel kind of selfish now that a 5 page thread was written over a girl leaving me.
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We are all here to help in the end. At least most of us. Other's it's a mixture of help and entertainment. And for some it's just entertainment 🤣 Like anything else its a gradient 🤷🏿‍♂️
 
I'm really glad you've picked yourself up mate! Dust yaself off and start all over again like that song goes.
If I was in London I'd be up for a pint but we would probably be bad influences on eachother with the white/banzos especially!

Please just keep ya chin up and pursue stuff you weren't able to in a relationship. That might have been part of what the drugs binge was about partially.

Take care 😙
 
Sergeant Absent said:
I thought I should at least kind of conclude this. I'm back home now, no pipe and no alcohol, and doing a benzo taper, which will leave me on everything my GP prescribes me which is Lyrica, Amytriptilyne, Tramadol and Citalopram. I've blocked the girl who left me. By the way, anyone who was curious if she left me because I relapsed on benzos....she already knew I was prescribed them in Lithuania so continued obtaining them here. She did not know I was ordering cocaine here and there, but she takes it herself sometimes so it wouldn't of been a factor. Her reason for leaving me was she wants to "live life now" and "if one of my (me) problems is solved then a second one will appear" she also said she didn't want a relationship but wanted to continue "dating" the new guy. Ah well, life goes on, I'm in London, you never know what's round the corner. I'm not being weird but do you lot ever meet up outside this forum? there's some pretty cool people on here, just wondering if you ever went for a coffee or a walk in the park etc, no stalking or leering or luring, just a straight meet and chat, sober.

Either way, a last big thanks from me to everyone who put a lot of thought into their messages when I was off my face in that hotel, they meant a lot and I honestly think it could have been worse had I not written to the forum.

Love <3 to all. I wish you all the best on your journeys too, I feel kind of selfish now that a 5 page thread was written over a girl leaving me.
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Don't feel selfish, that is what we are here for. If it took 5 pages to help you get back home and off the pipe/booze, then I'd say it was well worth it. FYI- any thread that reaches 250 pages will be locked and a new one started. So even then, the help would continue.

I don't know about you but I always relish being able to sleep in my own bed after being gone a while.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
So as above, and I had no idea it was coming. I've just relapsed on everything I gave up...even alcohol. I'm not blaming her, but I'm in big pain now, I'll admit it publicly I'm a 42 year old man with a massive history of drug and alcohol abuse, and my girlfriend leaving me has triggered a full on 72 hour blow out. I'd already relapsed on the benzos and the oxy's, but now we've got alcohol (10 years dry) and bone (10 years no pipe) involved. I'm scared a non- intentional OD is coming up. Im taking valium, pregabalin, oxycodone, alcholol, bone and citalopram, In a hotel, alone. Just needed to write it somewhere.
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Mister, I feel your pain, but please leave the alcohol out of it. Drinking on AD's (citalopram) can cause intense depression (especially when suffering a hangover). I'm also a 42 year old man. I still live at home, and I'm unemployed (I'm a much greater loser than anyone on this thread). I was in love with a German girl who promised to marry me so that my felony conviction would be waved by the German authorities, and I could attend school, for chemistry, for free! When I got out of prison on Feb 14 2014 (Valentines Day) she informed me that she was in love with my little brother, and now they have been together for 8 years. Best of luck.
 
Sergeant Absent said:
So as above, and I had no idea it was coming. I've just relapsed on everything I gave up...even alcohol. I'm not blaming her, but I'm in big pain now, I'll admit it publicly I'm a 42 year old man with a massive history of drug and alcohol abuse, and my girlfriend leaving me has triggered a full on 72 hour blow out. I'd already relapsed on the benzos and the oxy's, but now we've got alcohol (10 years dry) and bone (10 years no pipe) involved. I'm scared a non- intentional OD is coming up. Im taking valium, pregabalin, oxycodone, alcholol, bone and citalopram, In a hotel, alone. Just needed to write it somewhere.
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I am SO very sorry you’re going through something so horrible. I really want to reach out to you & let u know you’re more than welcome to message me if u ever need to talk or vent. Try to get some sleep if u can & try to leave the substances alone for the night. Sending love to you 💜💜💜
 
FartscontainCH4 said:
Mister, I feel your pain, but please leave the alcohol out of it. Drinking on AD's (citalopram) can cause intense depression (especially when suffering a hangover). I'm also a 42 year old man. I still live at home, and I'm unemployed (I'm a much greater loser than anyone on this thread). I was in love with a German girl who promised to marry me so that my felony conviction would be waved by the German authorities, and I could attend school, for chemistry, for free! When I got out of prison on Feb 14 2014 (Valentines Day) she informed me that she was in love with my little brother, and now they have been together for 8 years. Best of luck.
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Jesus man that's awful! Well, 42 and living at home and unemployed and now no girlfriend (at least in my case) we got in common, it certainly doesn't feel good my end. I was back here in London to recover from the chemo, then find a remote job that I could take back over to Lithuania with me. In my case she's obviously found something more secure and someone who has less of a language barrier (I personally thought it was ok for 6 years), she told me she wants to live life now and "might die tomorrow"....even though she recommended I go to my family to recover from chemo :unsure:. Anyway, yes the alcohol and pipe have gone but I'm trying to taper off benzos and thinking it's not the best time to do it, but there's never a good time to do it so...you know. Incidentally me and my now ex-girlfriend met on Valentines day, sounds like that date don't work too well for everyone.
 
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