Mental Health I'm lost because of coming legislation

[plumbus-nine]

Well, true speak. My life depends on research chemicals, I've tried almost all the prescription stuff and it all failed. I was a few days off any chemicals now and again in the deepest depressive hole since long time. I only wanted to die, facing all the bad stuff and decisions in the past, all the things, money and relations and chances I've lost and missed. This makes no sense, I need to continue and carry on, take what is possible right now and build up future but for this I am dependent on chemical aid. Dissociatives mostly, recently I found aMT to be similarly effective but my deal are dissociatives. Prescription ketamine is not available for me and even if it was, it wouldn't cut it because I don't get help from one dose a week, I need to be on the stuff all the time. On low, threshold dosages, like opioid substitution. That keeps me going.

But now legislation is against me. The Netherlands will do a blanket ban on research chemicals next year. My home country Switzerland already banned many years ago, I nearly went to prison for importing research chemicals. So I left this country, currently living in a place where they don't care about banning new psychoactives, they have more serious problems to solve here in Mexico. But this doesn't help me if I'm getting cut off any supply because of ban in the Netherlands.

So I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't have the funds to stock up for years and every stock will be finished eventually. Really, my life is at stake and I don't know what to do with my limited resources. I would love to attend studies in organic chemistry to synthesize my own, it would be legal here, but this needs time.

I can't believe that it come to this but it is how it is.
What do you guys think?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I think that NMDA antagonists aren't really meant to be taken all the time, small dose or not. It's not health food that way.

There are other options. What else have you tried? There must be around ten antidepressant mechanisms in medications. SSRIs, SNRIs, bupropion, MAOIs, mirtazapine, trazodone, augmentations (aripiprazole and company), tricyclics, quetiapine (for bipolar depression), mood stabilizers (mostly lamotrigine) with various mechanisms. And within classes, mechanisms also vary in nuance. They have stimulating SSRIs and more calm ones. They have an anxiolytic and a stimulating MAOI. Surely there must be something that can work out?

Do you regularly exercise and socialize? It may sound trite, but exercise really does work and we are very social creatures.

If I were you, I'd ask a bonafide psychiatrist. Tell them everything. That's why they're there!

Good luck.

 

[plumbus-nine]

Thanks for your reply. I didn't try MAOIs yet because they aren't available in the places where I lived and live, only moclobemide which was utterly useless. Parnate or Nardil would love to try them but no accessability. The SSRI and SNRIs are a failure, I'm taking 40mg fluoxetine just to keep the withdrawal at bay. Have been taking venlafaxine for years. Antipsychotics - tried a lot of them, antagonists, partial agonists, just make me feel blocked on my head, I need the dopamine system running freely to feel okay I guess. Pregabalin built up tolerance very quickly, I could take the 600mg or mot take them without any change Valproate nearly killed me, I lost good part of my hair and felt utterly sick on the end on 900mg/d. Lamotrigine didn't do anything really. Guess I'm one if the treatment resistant folks.

Ketamine, medically used, every few days a little might be worth a try but my tolerance to arylcyclohexylamines is too high for usual dosage regimens to work and here in Mexico it's not available.

I know that nmda antagonists aren't supposed to be used continuously, but I just know of nothing else which would work.

Yeah, I need to solve things on real life too, I have the problem of being a disabled person who gets money from social support for the basic needs, but this also cuts me off the usual social contacts and structure a work life gives you. I have been out off regular work life for too long, thus is taking its toll.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Good on you for realizing that!

Perhaps there is a traditional medicine herbalist in your vicinity that could help? Psychiatry isn't always the answer. Also, massage, yoga, acupuncture, and most of all meditation have really helped me along my journey.

Yeah lower amounts of D2 partials are actually supposed to be stimulating, if that applies. Lithium could be a good try, as it helps bipolar depression as well as ketamine can. Also, clozapine might be a good try. It's used for lots of treatment-resistant illnesses and isn't known as a dopamine blocker.

How about bupropion?

If it's that big of an issue, places that offer MAOIs can't be too far off, no? Might be worth the trip for your health.

Some of the tricyclics have quite a high NE:S ratio. Might be worth checking out.

I personally found solace in CBD, tulsi, ashwaghanda, and passionflower.

 

[Faust66]

what is your actual problem? you are addicted to opiates...? grow some fucking poppies. addicted to useless research chems? detox

Well, true speak. My life depends on research chemicals, I've tried almost all the prescription stuff and it all failed. I was a few days off any chemicals now and again in the deepest depressive hole since long time. I only wanted to die, facing all the bad stuff and decisions in the past, all the things, money and relations and chances I've lost and missed. This makes no sense, I need to continue and carry on, take what is possible right now and build up future but for this I am dependent on chemical aid. Dissociatives mostly, recently I found aMT to be similarly effective but my deal are dissociatives. Prescription ketamine is not available for me and even if it was, it wouldn't cut it because I don't get help from one dose a week, I need to be on the stuff all the time. On low, threshold dosages, like opioid substitution. That keeps me going.

But now legislation is against me. The Netherlands will do a blanket ban on research chemicals next year. My home country Switzerland already banned many years ago, I nearly went to prison for importing research chemicals. So I left this country, currently living in a place where they don't care about banning new psychoactives, they have more serious problems to solve here in Mexico. But this doesn't help me if I'm getting cut off any supply because of ban in the Netherlands.

So I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't have the funds to stock up for years and every stock will be finished eventually. Really, my life is at stake and I don't know what to do with my limited resources. I would love to attend studies in organic chemistry to synthesize my own, it would be legal here, but this needs time.

I can't believe that it come to this but it is how it is.
What do you guys think?

 

[plumbus-nine]

what is your actual problem? you are addicted to opiates...? grow some fucking poppies. addicted to useless research chems? detox

If it was just so easy - who of the users here has access to enough earth to grow a year's supply of poppies? And useless RCs, did you ever try MXE or one of the newer derivates? I agree that we don't need another cathinone but these dissociatives are fucking great, besides possessing proven, rapid and strong antidepressant qualities - at least in K, and if you tell me then just go for that - it's not the same, K is inferior in many aspects.

And while I indeed begin to see that part of it all was/is just another addiction, I will remain craving for dissociatives for a long time. Been through one year without and still same.

 

[Faust66]

If it was just so easy - who of the users here has access to enough earth to grow a year's supply of poppies? And useless RCs, did you ever try MXE or one of the newer derivates? I agree that we don't need another cathinone but these dissociatives are fucking great, besides possessing proven, rapid and strong antidepressant qualities - at least in K, and if you tell me then just go for that - it's not the same, K is inferior in many aspects.

And while I indeed begin to see that part of it all was/is just another addiction, I will remain craving for dissociatives for a long time. Been through one year without and still same.

bro how much land do you have there in mexico? if you have a lot in the city, look for a one acre plot somewhere. you can grow year round in mexico, and one acre can produce at least 3 to at most 9 kilos of opium per one acre. and one acre isn't even that big, it's a decent sized backyard.

 

[Faust66]

unless you have a big huge opiate tolerance, you shouldn't have a problem getting high on it at all. i had my doubts until i did more reading on it recently. if you must you can acetylate the opium with 'glacial' acetic acid 99% to make stronger opioids from the natural compounds. 6-mam and heroine are produced in the crude acetylation. cheers

If it was just so easy - who of the users here has access to enough earth to grow a year's supply of poppies? And useless RCs, did you ever try MXE or one of the newer derivates? I agree that we don't need another cathinone but these dissociatives are fucking great, besides possessing proven, rapid and strong antidepressant qualities - at least in K, and if you tell me then just go for that - it's not the same, K is inferior in many aspects.

And while I indeed begin to see that part of it all was/is just another addiction, I will remain craving for dissociatives for a long time. Been through one year without and still same.

 

[Faust66]

you can literally squeeze three crops out of the year. all you would need to worry about is some cartel asswipe trying to muscle in on your op, if it happened to be decent size. on one acre or even a half, i'm sure they would leave you alone. good luck tho buddy stay safe.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I'm not sure Plumbus-nine is a "bro"....

And where do you get off as a greelighter coming in here to be condescending to people?

All of your posts so far have been nothing but attacks and a condescending attitude towards people. Speaking to them as if they're idiots.
Are you here to help others or to just try and put them down?


I don't think plumbus-nine has the time or space to grow a shit ton of poppies and then try turning them into heroin.
Doesn't sound very practical in the immediate or the long run.

Although opioids (especially heroin) do make great antidepressants, provided you have a supply.


As some one who's been through all the psychiatric medicines & illicit medicines, I can empathize with plumbus & their resistance to getting any depression relief from these 'traditional' crap medicines.



Do they have DXM in Mexico plumbus? It's not exactly like K and isn't that healthy for you, but it may substitute for dissos on any given day that you feel you truly need one.
I know DXM is probably inferior to K, but it's all that comes to mind for me. Wish I could be of more help.

I recently did an easy CWE on DXM polisterex and was able to cap it and take that (rather than drink the nasty syrup). The DXM Polisterex is more mild but very long acting. Almost has an opiate-esque dreamy quality to it and less body load than DXM Hbr.

Mixing DXM with venlafaxine gave me convulsions in my legs once though. So I would not recommend it if you are on an SSRI/SNRI.

 

[Faust66]

g

I'm not sure Plumbus-nine is a "bro"....

And where do you get off as a greelighter coming in here to be condescending to people?

All of your posts so far have been nothing but attacks and a condescending attitude towards people. Speaking to them as if they're idiots.
Are you here to help others or to just try and put them down?


I don't think plumbus-nine has the time or space to grow a shit ton of poppies and then try turning them into heroin.
Doesn't sound very practical in the immediate or the long run.

Although opioids (especially heroin) do make great antidepressants, provided you have a supply.


As some one who's been through all the psychiatric medicines & illicit medicines, I can empathize with plumbus & their resistance to getting any depression relief from these 'traditional' crap medicines.



Do they have DXM in Mexico plumbus? It's not exactly like K and isn't that healthy for you, but it may substitute for dissos on any given day that you feel you truly need one.
I know DXM is probably inferior to K, but it's all that comes to mind for me. Wish I could be of more help.

I recently did an easy CWE on DXM polisterex and was able to cap it and take that (rather than drink the nasty syrup). The DXM Polisterex is more mild but very long acting. Almost has an opiate-esque dreamy quality to it and less body load than DXM Hbr.

Mixing DXM with venlafaxine gave me convulsions in my legs once though. So I would not recommend it if you are on an SSRI/SNRI.

growing poppies in mexico doesn't sound practical? i wonder what your idea of practical is? as for me being a "greenlighter"? haha i couldn't care less what weird ideas you have about message boards or internet advice, but when i see people with thousands on thousands of posts asking for simple ass advice, i feel qualified to chime in

 

[Faust66]

I'm not sure Plumbus-nine is a "bro"....

All of your posts so far have been nothing but attacks and a condescending attitude towards people. Speaking to them as if they're idiots.
Are you here to help others or to just try and put them down?

so i don't baby people like you might, i give it to them straight. it's the advice people need. nobody needs their ass kissed

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Simply speaking to people with respect is babying them, sure.


I'm glad you joined & gave us your 'qualified' advice that people should either detox or grow fields of poppies.


I've spoken personally to plumbus-nine and they were very kind & genuine. So of course I'm gonna chime in as well.
They're also highly intelligent, so I'm sure "detoxing" has already crossed their mind.
The problem is, detoxing doesn't solve the long term issue. Any of us can do that, some of us choose not to because we're fine living our lives using drugs.

It's like telling a diabetic they should just stop their insulin since they can't afford it. lol

If anything, I'm curious why dissos aren't so easily accessible in Mexico in the first place?

Don't drug users face enough stigmatization?

 

[Faust66]

all i'm saying is this: if he can't get his drugs in mexico he won't find them anywhere. you can't be addicted to chemicals that don't really exist. i disagree with the diabetic analogy. in this case, plumbus can only get healthier from abstaining from these insane drugs. buying drugs online is unsustainable and total waste of money when the dude lives in mexico.. the producer of all black tar h in the US.

 

[Faust66]

sorry "bro" there's a lot of suffering around Mexico right now, i don't have much sympathy for the people who went there for obscure online drugs. i grew up a couple hours from the border and it's a beautiful country, but people are turning it to shit rapidly, as with the rest of the world.

 

[G_Chem]

all i'm saying is this: if he can't get his drugs in mexico he won't find them anywhere. you can't be addicted to chemicals that don't really exist. i disagree with the diabetic analogy. in this case, plumbus can only get healthier from abstaining from these insane drugs. buying drugs online is unsustainable and total waste of money when the dude lives in mexico.. the producer of all black tar h in the US.

This is some of the dumbest shit I’ve heard in awhile, you just like to argue don’t you? Lol.

Yes, you can be addicted to chemicals “that don’t really exist” it’s called trying them and growing an addiction to them while they were around. Just because they no longer exist doesn’t mean someone can’t stil desire them.

Of course Plumbus just start using garbage BTH! The nastiest heroin in terms of purity there is! That’s way better than chemicals often lab tested to ensure purity..

-GC

 

[Faust66]

This is some of the dumbest shit I’ve heard in awhile, you just like to argue don’t you? Lol.

Yes, you can be addicted to chemicals “that don’t really exist” it’s called trying them and growing an addiction to them while they were around. Just because they no longer exist doesn’t mean someone can’t stil desire them.

Of course Plumbus just start using garbage BTH! The nastiest heroin in terms of purity there is! That’s way better than chemicals often lab tested to ensure purity..

-GC

garbage BTH, spoken like a true wannabe professional who's never done the shit. you want to talk about purity? east coast dope is trash. and no desiring a chemical high doesn't qualify as an addiction, in my book. stick to your lab tests buddy, some of us don't have all the money in the world

 

[plumbus-nine]

Well I thought as well it'd be easier to source drugs when I moved here but fact is, in Europe it's much easier (and from what I know in the states as well) because in current times the online supply is plenty while e.g. the DNMs I've checked list almost zero MX domestic offers and besides that I had enough trouble with the law, I want and need to stay legal, messing with police even when corrupt as a foreigner is a deal breaker specially as I've now gotten my visa despite police records in other country. Unfortunately but we still live in the dark age of War on Drugs(tm). Also I checked out opiates before, I even was in maintenance therapy for three years but all I got was a wrecked hormone balance and some additional kilos around the belly. While dissociatives tend to sustain their antidepressant effects so became opiates pure depressants to me, I guess this is due to the suppression of test in favor of prolactin, a bad activity psychopharms seem to have all in common. Extrapolating from how my libido behaved/s I'd say that dissociatives (while possibly suppressing themselves) act as indirect pro-hormones, it's just a speculation and might also be dopamine itself but on the other hand dopamine lowers prolactin so it's all connected.. well, long story short, I can't get drugs here currently, I'm also not the guy just babbling to strangers because of the very reasons why I turned to drugs initially (social anxiety and depression).

I'd love to try opium directly from the poppies but as an experiment, not to take it daily.

Found an offer for K but prohibitively expensive and it's inferior in many ways to MXE and analogues and the cartels vs. the RC people seem to be different folks,

Besides that, most of the research chemicals I've tried were much more pure and well-synthed than the street drugs I've seen, with the exception of meth possibly. MXE was no doubts way above 90% if not the stated 98-99% purity and dirt cheap given my non existant tolerance back then. One gram would last me more than a month, when now it'd be gone within a few days. This is the real downside of dissociatives, besides possible urotoxicity which I am thankfully not so susceptible to. The tolerance builds slowly but steadily and stays there forever, I made an one year break during which all remaining symptoms and a good deal of the cravings went away, but tolerance stayed almost the same and social anxiety which I already believed to be overcomed came back full force. All these nagging thoughts, unwillingness to socialize, together with a general tiredness - for which I'm still looking for a doc to prescribe me dexamphetamine or Vyvanse when I have legitimate ADD - so much about MX.

Yeah, I know it's addiction but what I've seen from other drugs is probably way worse than dissociatives as long as you have unlimited access to them. Just because they arer/were sold legally doesn't mean they were worthless or weak. Just think of mephedrone. or fentanyl analogues.

 

[RedRum OG]

garbage BTH, spoken like a true wannabe professional who's never done the shit. you want to talk about purity? east coast dope is trash. and no desiring a chemical high doesn't qualify as an addiction, in my book. stick to your lab tests buddy, some of us don't have all the money in the world

My man, you are deeply confused. Using glacial AA on poppy pod extract, and that's better than east coast dope... and avoiding lab tests. Is that really the advice you want to give?

Also, yes, desiring a drug that is fucking up your life is *exactly * the definition of addiction

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

What if the drug doesn't mess up your life....
But desiring a drug that helps you function & feel better.... Is that an addiction?
Just curious what people think of that scenario.

In some cases, it's prohibition & quality that causes people issues.
But then again for example, the person who can't stop crashing their cars cause they can't stop drinking would be a classic scenario of some one who's life is being fucked up by a drug.

I've been exactly where plumbus is at, except the drug that makes me feel better is diacetylmorphine.

However I find long acting opioids, like those commonly used in maintenance to end up making depression come back / or worse.
I assume because they build up and lose their effects eventually. Unlike shorter acting ones where every time you dose, you feel them.

There's even some speculation that chronic adminstration of buprenorphine can eventually start to block dopamine, rather than release it.


I did east coast rocks for years & they were great. I'm glad I never had to fuck with BTH.
Much easier to snort a bump than to have to take the time to burn something but that's just me.