• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

hows my non drinking buddies doing?

i am not doing so great. its still great in comparison to december but not so great in comparison to where i want to be.

drank the past 2 nights, friday was OK cos it wasn't completely excessive. last night was absolutely needless and didn't go well. it should be a reminder to me to not start drinking when i'm exhausted. it was nearly 8 when i bought booze, had i not drank i'd have got into bed maybe 9.30 and not had a massive pointless argument with my boyf that resulted in me slapping him and throwing a tape measure at him. that is not OK. i'm ashamed. he was being an arse but physical violence is NEVER merited.

we'd set the goal of not drinking at home last weekend. and then fucking drank at home both nights this weekend.

next weekend we're going out on friday and i have a muslim friend coming on saturday so that should make me less likely to be an idiot.

in the week i'm not missing booze at all, so that's good. do need to fix the weekends though.

i am trying to conceive, for the two weeks of the month where i might be pregnant, i should'nt be drinking at all. the other 2 weeks, which i'm in right now, its not so bad but will still be impacting my fertility, which i'm massively concerned about due to the long term amenorrhea i had (more than a decade) cos of my eating disorder, so i shouldn't be adding to it.
 
I'm having a hard time not drinking right now as well. I have no medications to bring me down a level, my brain is firing all cylinders, this ashwagandha crap did a number on my brain. The only thing that stops the brain zaps is alcohol, but then they're even worse in the morning obviously. Been teetering on psychosis for like 2 months now. Now I've started having brain zaps IN MY SLEEP which is fucked up.

I have an appointment at urgent care at 4pm hopefully they give me some thorazine to take home to get me thru another week of waiting to see a psychiatrist.

Even though I've had insurance for 5 days now, it took me this long to make an appointment, because I'm just silly like that sometimes.
 
how are people doing?

i'm kinda getting restless with not drinking. am still just playing video games and watching tv every evening. i'm not doing enough to actually improve my life, i've slightly upped my meditation practise but still failing to do it every day. i feel kinda apathetic and listless. like i'm energetic and in a good mood but still just sitting around watching tv. i did cook and do some chores after work. i really wanna get into playing my bass again after a long break bu it just feels like work.

i need to start making positive changes now i have mostly got rid of the main negative influence in my life.

also, i'm kinda full of shit. cos my boyf will be out tomorrow night so i'm planning to binge/purge and drink. like why? i already feel bad about it, i'll waste money, damage my health, and feel like shit after. so why can't i not do it?

@Negentropic how are you? have you had any help with the brain zaps? does sound very scary.
 
chinup said:
@Negentropic how are you? have you had any help with the brain zaps? does sound very scary.
Click to expand...
The brain zaps are changing and seemingly becoming less intense, which is good. However, I have now developed some very odd anxiety like sensation preventing sleep now. I can't stop bouncing my leg. It feels like the symptoms of major anxiety, but oddly there is no correlated anxiety, only the physical symptoms. Weird sensation I've never felt before. Kinda like that anxiety you get right after taking psychedelics, you aren't high yet, but this energy is inside your body causing a bit of restlessness.

I went to urgent care the other day simply to ask for antipsychotics, quickest way to get them, they denied me, treated me like some drug seeking junky, waste of time. I was absolutely furious about that. I was totally dismissed and told to go to the emergency room if I'm in psychosis. I can't fucking AFFORD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even with insurance would be hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

I'm waiting several more days of a psychiatry appointment.

praying anything doesn't bad happen... aka onset psychosis, it feels like I've been dangling on that cliff for 3-4 weeks now.

I've been drinking 3 days in a row... no bueno, but luckily not very heavy drinking, less than I usually do

ughhh, I just need to see a doctor and I will have less stress and be able to focus on sobriety
 
Negentropic said:
The brain zaps are changing and seemingly becoming less intense, which is good. However, I have now developed some very odd anxiety like sensation preventing sleep now. I can't stop bouncing my leg. It feels like the symptoms of major anxiety, but oddly there is no correlated anxiety, only the physical symptoms. Weird sensation I've never felt before. Kinda like that anxiety you get right after taking psychedelics, you aren't high yet, but this energy is inside your body causing a bit of restlessness.

I went to urgent care the other day simply to ask for antipsychotics, quickest way to get them, they denied me, treated me like some drug seeking junky, waste of time. I was absolutely furious about that. I was totally dismissed and told to go to the emergency room if I'm in psychosis. I can't fucking AFFORD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even with insurance would be hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

I'm waiting several more days of a psychiatry appointment.

praying anything doesn't bad happen... aka onset psychosis
Click to expand...
Have you tried any supplements yet?

A good mulitviatamin should be mandatory for any male who boozes a lot. Booze lowers testosterone in males, the opposite in females, with heavy use that can become problematic.

Vitamin-d & magnesium(take them combined or both at the same time) essential that one, zinc supplement too if you don't have a good multivitamin. It's winter should be anyways on the list.

I'd supplement with 5-htp or/and trimethylglicine as well see how you go. Maybe gaba all taken in the morning
 
Arnold said:
Have you tried any supplements yet?

A good mulitviatamin should be mandatory for any male who boozes a lot. Booze lowers testosterone in males, the opposite in females, with heavy use that can become problematic.

Vitamin-d & magnesium essential that one, zinc supplement too if you don't have a good multivitamin. It's winter should be anyways on the list.
Click to expand...
I do take them, yes. My diet is rather good and I'm also an avid runner and in overall good physical health.

Arnold said:
I'd supplement with 5-htp or/and trimethylglicine as well see how you go. Maybe gaba all taken in the morning
Click to expand...
5-HTP bad idea for me. I have damage to my serotonergic system. Taking it makes me hallucinate to varying degrees.

That's the thing, this isn't really alcohol related at all. Alcohol helps it. It's drug induced serotonergic damage.
 
Which drugs did you use to take?

What dosage of 5-htp makes you hallucinate?

The brain is a powerfull organ which can heal given time, you can help it on the right track.
 
Last edited:
Arnold said:
Have you tried any supplements yet?

A good mulitviatamin should be mandatory for any male who boozes a lot. Booze lowers testosterone in males, the opposite in females, with heavy use that can become problematic.

Vitamin-d & magnesium(take them combined or both at the same time) essential that one, zinc supplement too if you don't have a good multivitamin. It's winter should be anyways on the list.

I'd supplement with 5-htp or/and trimethylglicine as well see how you go. Maybe gaba all taken in the morning
Click to expand...
Also people who booze a lot have Thiamine deficiency. The B vitamin. I know I was extremely low in Thiamine when I was pouring vodka into me every day. Thank God I have absolutely no desire to drink that poison again. If I have 2 beers a week, thats about the extent of it now. And I actually enjoy it more now. Be well my friends 😊
 
Arnold said:
Which drugs did you use to take?
Click to expand...
The damage was done by extreme psychedelic use over a period of 5 months leading to a complete mental break and resulting damage. Mostly mushrooms, DMT, LSD and a few other exotic tryptamines and phenethylamines like LSA and suspected 2c-x (unknown, unlabeled chemical). Other non-psychedelics were heavily used as well and may have contributed.

Arnold said:
What dosage of 5-htp makes you hallucinate?
Click to expand...
any dose, almost all serotoninergic drugs give me adverse reactions now, even SSRIs make me hallucinate after 1 pill

Arnold said:
The brain is a powerfull organ which can heal given time, you can help it on the right track.
Click to expand...
Indeed! I have made a fabulous recovery so far, but recently resurgence in symptoms due to Ashwagandha

but again I eat quite healthy and live relatively healthy, it's not vitamin deficiency
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Negentropic said:
The damage was done by extreme psychedelic use over a period of 5 months leading to a complete mental break and resulting damage. Mostly mushrooms, DMT, LSD and a few other exotic tryptamines and phenethylamines like LSA and suspected 2c-x (unknown, unlabeled chemical). Other non-psychedelics were heavily used as well and may have contributed.


any dose, almost all serotoninergic drugs give me adverse reactions now, even SSRIs make me hallucinate after 1 pill


Indeed! I have made a fabulous recovery so far, but recently resurgence in symptoms due to Ashwagandha

but again I eat quite healthy and live relatively healthy, it's not vitamin deficiency
Click to expand...
Hopefully not having come across as teaching your granny how to suck eggs just checking. :)

You must have caned those drugs.
 
Ok, it's not cute anymore. I really cannot be drinking right now. Teetering on psychosis nearly pushed myself off the edge last night.

Stop It Neil Patrick Harris GIF
 
axe battler said:
@Negentropic are you still enjoying the kava? I got some recently and it was great. I could see it helping with booze cravings a lot. I've ran out of kava now but I have beers in the fridge and no urge to drink them. I did just take 4g of phenibut though...
Click to expand...
The store I was buying from sold out and I have been meaning to buy more but just can't afford it right now, unfortunately.

It absolutely does help alcohol cravings for sure
 
Negentropic said:
Anyone ever get sleep paralysis from their drinking? Mine is coming back, fuck my life.

@F.U.B.A.R. 🫂
Click to expand...

I've never had that as a result of booze thankfully. Sleep paralysis is horrible...


axe battler said:
Hey man @F.U.B.A.R. 8 days is pretty good man! Focus on that!
Click to expand...

Thanks mate. My personal best was 15 days and I felt fuckin great. But for some reason I don't appreciate feeling great. I always want (and need) to feel hammered...
 
i used to find alcohol euphoric, even just drinking on my own. less so now.

i'm still doing ok with the drinking, drank on friday but we were out, so it is allowed according to me and my boyfs rules. then on sunday i had 2 large cans, my boyf had said he wanted to buy beer at like 6 pm and i talked him down, but ever since he put that in my brain i'd had that niggle that i wanted to drink. so when at 8.30 he announced he was gonna get some beers, i thought fuck it, at least by delaying it 2.5 hours there was less scope for getting really wasted. i'd resisted on saturday when i'd been out with a friend who doesn't drink, and got back to him having a few cans.

he did seem to understand when i explained to him how triggering it is when he suggests to drink or does drnk. i know its my responsibility though, so not sure what to do. just need to get more used to not drinking even if he insists that he will.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top