Fresh out of jail

[Gilnet]

Hello all I’m not new to bluelight but I forgot my password to my email n all that. But I’ve just been released from Rapphanock regional jail and I had a big bad 11 month dope/meth etc relapse and ended up in jail for a few months I detoxed in jail it was terrible I was hallucinating for a few days ended up getting my eye socket broke by a scumbag and other fun covid related schananagins… so I’m clean and on probation for a couple of years and my girlfriend of 17yrs is a die hard tweaker and is just doging me every chance she gets, trying to get money from my family and cheating I think yeah why not right idk… I’m not from va and we have a house together I’m just feeling lost and betrayed by this I’m not even sure where I’m going to live (my sister is spending the week with me and got us a hotel) my long time girl is in the same mindset I was in when I got popped and the last I talked to her she and her die hard old lady friend made up some bullshit and laughed at me… so I got to move on I guess……. But has anyone else been through this kind of thing if so I need pointers or something..

 

[MassAveMayor]

How did u get ur eye socket busted? And this happened while in withdrawal? Dude I know what a broken heart feels like but I’d take that one on the chin (no pun intended) you WILL use if you’re around her. And who the fuckkk wants to be around a tweaker when you’re dead ass sober. Fuck that bro. Do you, and if you feel like you’re going to jump out of your skin talk to ur sister she’s obviously got your back… try to hit some meetings if you can. Anything is better than jail.. well except for being around a tweaked when ur sober lol goodluck buddy. Stay safe and get a support system— also I’m on the east coast so all “dope” is fentanyl..was the shit you were doing fent or like black tar? Stay free and away from that girl

 

[Gilnet]

How did u get ur eye socket busted? And this happened while in withdrawal? Dude I know what a broken heart feels like but I’d take that one on the chin (no pun intended) you WILL use if you’re around her. And who the fuckkk wants to be around a tweaker when you’re dead ass sober. Fuck that bro. Do you, and if you feel like you’re going to jump out of your skin talk to ur sister she’s obviously got your back… try to hit some meetings if you can. Anything is better than jail.. well except for being around a tweaked when ur sober lol goodluck buddy. Stay safe and get a support system— also I’m on the east coast so all “dope” is fentanyl..was the shit you were doing fent or like black tar? Stay free and away from that girlI got snuck with a food tray after a fi

I was still really weak, and not sleeping and I got into a fight with my cellmate over food and he waited till the co’s were at the door and he snuck me with one of those thick food trays. Thanks for the advice I’m going to look into meetings tomorrow. It’s just tough to let go when your going through it. I was getting straight dope in my area then graduated to good ole bmore caps smoking/iv both up n down I’ve detoxed from dope but a few times but never with meth I still ain’t right but I’m going to stick with it covid + jail = fuck

 

[Jabberwocky]

I am not new to bluelight either... Look, @Gilnet i don't have much to add to what @MassAveMayor already wrote.

Your situation is very fragile now. I would say that your situation is outright dangerous. You have used drugs in a problematic way. Congratulations for detoxing of course, but you are prone to addiction(s). Your woman is using, you are doing your best to stay clean... I dunno, if she is cheating and everything... Is she even worthy of you to begin with?

Is it difficult for you to be alone? Like spend time all alone and make time go by somehow? Or does that increase the possibility of a relapse? Maybe you could spend some more time with your sister, she seems to care. We here on bluelight, we care, and we don't want you to end up back using and then to jail.

I wish strength to you.

 

[Coffeeshroom]

Hey there @Gilnet and I can relate to some if not most of what you went and are still going through.

I to say this but a choice needs to be made whether you want to stay clean and with that it means cutting out the people that is just gonna make you travel down the same road and it might just turned out worse this time. So i would really take the time to think long and hard what or who you really need in your live to prosper and not fallback into old habits and such.

I really wish you the best and feel free to ask any more questions or pm me if you want to talk directly.

Regards
CoffeeShroom

 

[Gilnet]

I am not new to bluelight either... Look, @Gilnet i don't have much to add to what @MassAveMayor already wrote.

Your situation is very fragile now. I would say that your situation is outright dangerous. You have used drugs in a problematic way. Congratulations for detoxing of course, but you are prone to addiction(s). Your woman is using, you are doing your best to stay clean... I dunno, if she is cheating and everything... Is she even worthy of you to begin with?

Is it difficult for you to be alone? Like spend time all alone and make time go by somehow? Or does that increase the possibility of a relapse? Maybe you could spend some more time with your sister, she seems to care. We here on bluelight, we care, and we don't want you to end up back using and then to jail.

I wish strength to you.

Thanks for the reply, did someone fart? Lol, I'm good at being alone up to a point once I get bored I start looking for something to do and end up meeting the wrong people mostly. My sister is going to be going home on Saturday and I'll be on my own but I hope to find some meetings that I can get to but everything is complicated and as if now my girlfriend is too busy to give me a rides but I can get a restricted but Idk how long it'll take too get it... I do have a appointment with my grief/ptsd councilor and maybe I can get into a program. The biggest thing is that I really miss my girl we have 15yrs together and she doesn't put me down every time we talk but she lies to me a lot and has started fighting with my family and is trying to get them to hate me by telling in me for really old mistakes I/we made so again idk but I'll see here today finally and go from there

 

[MassAveMayor]

Thanks for the reply, did someone fart? Lol, I'm good at being alone up to a point once I get bored I start looking for something to do and end up meeting the wrong people mostly. My sister is going to be going home on Saturday and I'll be on my own but I hope to find some meetings that I can get to but everything is complicated and as if now my girlfriend is too busy to give me a rides but I can get a restricted but Idk how long it'll take too get it... I do have a appointment with my grief/ptsd councilor and maybe I can get into a program. The biggest thing is that I really miss my girl we have 15yrs together and she doesn't put me down every time we talk but she lies to me a lot and has started fighting with my family and is trying to get them to hate me by telling in me for really old mistakes I/we made so again idk but I'll see here today finally and go from there

Dude I literally know ho hard it is to leave a girl who you really love. Granted I’ve never had a 15 year relationship because im only 24 Lol so I can only imagine. My situation was different and I’m not in your shoes..but I would bet money that she doesn’t care so much about ur sobriety, we’ll atleast won’t care if you’re locked up again. Mabye she would care but she’s struggling pretty hard sounds like. Please please talk to your sister about rides. You guys can figure it out. 1 WRONG CHOICE AND BACK IN JAIL. I don’t want to see that happen. Please talk to ur sister and if you hit meetings I guarantee someone will give u rides if you’re serious about going. Doesn’t have to be everyday but I feel for you man. stop and think bbefore making any Decision! GL buddy keep us posted

 

[Gilnet]

Thanks again the advice I ended up going home and everything is good with her she really held down the house paid the mortgage and is on a similar path now either way we're getting along and we didn't even talk about using. It was a huge relief I told her I need to be independent and get the help I need and she's supportive. I got to sleep in my own bed it was great....

 

[Ketamania]

Hello all I’m not new to bluelight but I forgot my password to my email n all that. But I’ve just been released from Rapphanock regional jail and I had a big bad 11 month dope/meth etc relapse and ended up in jail for a few months I detoxed in jail it was terrible I was hallucinating for a few days ended up getting my eye socket broke by a scumbag and other fun covid related schananagins… so I’m clean and on probation for a couple of years and my girlfriend of 17yrs is a die hard tweaker and is just doging me every chance she gets, trying to get money from my family and cheating I think yeah why not right idk… I’m not from va and we have a house together I’m just feeling lost and betrayed by this I’m not even sure where I’m going to live (my sister is spending the week with me and got us a hotel) my long time girl is in the same mindset I was in when I got popped and the last I talked to her she and her die hard old lady friend made up some bullshit and laughed at me… so I got to move on I guess……. But has anyone else been through this kind of thing if so I need pointers or something..

I’m so glad you’re out. I personally don’t know what it’s like to go to jail or prison. But my mom was sentenced with like four or five Felonies and one of them included first-degree murder of my dad, so she is in prison for life (it was like all on the news and stuff it’s crazy). It happened all in 2013. I think she got beat up by some girls at first, but now they leave her alone because she got breast cancer badly pretty quick and now it’s bone cancer and now they think they have to amputate her leg. I feel so bad for her. Do you have any tips on what I can do to help her?

I am still working on getting a job again so I can’t send her money for the little food shop or care packages yet (none of the rest of my family supports her or writes her at all). I suppose I could write her more. It’s just an awful situation.

They say there was another person involved in the murder of my dad, and I’m not sure if it was actually her or the other person who did it, but I believe that every person deserves love and that that’s a basic human right and the rest of my family isn’t giving her that so it’s up to me.