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For an end of the line, hopeless drug addict - is prison the only realistic option for long term rehabilitation?

OpiateKiller

OpiateKiller

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
2,370
I've lost all hop. I used to be able to raw dog cold turkey drug habits like Oxycodone, methadone, fentanyl heroin,,,

Nothing could hold me back,

Now I can;t even go 3 days without trenbolone and testosterone in my system, I can;t get an honest 30+ days clean ... I can't do any of it.

So honestly qurstion for those who did a long prison Bid, Is this my only chance?

I'm so fuckng angry and Prison has been the only safe place for me to not have a way out. No gabapentin, no lyrica, no benzos, no fentanyl ,no cocaine...

I'm honestly considering committing a vey serious crime and hoping to land somewhere between 3.5-7 years in prison.

I think it's the only way I have even a fighting chance at rehabilitation ... I need that disciple I need to humble myself before it's too fuckin late for me.
 
Lysosomalstorage said:
You will find just as many drugs in prison and almost no reason to stop if your only friends end up being addicts. Going to prison to detox is a really bad ide
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i Have lost all sensibility . I don;t care abouy more about anything.

if Big bugga wants to take my ass in the shower, ;mme ba ccool for a few days, thence Once able to source a deadly weapon in the middle of chow hall I;m gona poke that motherfuker so many fucking times in the eyes, ears, kneck, heart, even cut his dick off if I have time

I'm all out of patince man the only thng that ever kept drugs out of me was valley jail.
 
OpiateKiller said:
i Have lost all sensibility . I don;t care abouy more about anything.

if Big bugga wants to take my ass in the shower, ;mme ba ccool for a few days, thence Once able to source a deadly weapon in the middle of chow hall I;m gona poke that motherfuker so many fucking times in the eyes, ears, kneck, heart, even cut his dick off if I have time

I'm all out of patince man the only thng that ever kept drugs out of me was valley jail.
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Why don't you relocate and cut off all ties with people you know who do drugs
 
Prison would be the last place I would think you want to be if you just want to quit using. You aren't giving treatment a chance. 30 days isn't gonna cut it.

You need a treatment place that has a one year commitment in a part of the world where you don't know anyone.

You have to totally unplug yourself from your present reality and pretend that you are just a baby being born into the world where you have to learn everything.

You have to call and find a place right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. You have to say fuck this I;m done with all this horseshit and I am going to try one more time to get my act together.

30 to 90 days is nothin'. That's not long enough to turn your life around. Give it 1 year in a treatment facility and you just might surprise yourself.

And do it before you fail your UA and get violated because even though you don't think klonopin will show up......it absolutely will. Klonopin and diazepam both make the benzo light up on the panel like a firecracker. Believe me, I know.

Please do yourself a favor and make the call. You know that this is coming from a place of caring from me. You've known me long enough to know that I wouldnt say this unless I thought it was true. I want to see you posting good things a year from now.....not read that you are in prison or that you killed yourself.
 
Nurse Ratched said:
Prison would be the last place I would think you want to be if you just want to quit using. You aren't giving treatment a chance. 30 days isn't gonna cut it.

You need a treatment place that has a one year commitment in a part of the world where you don't know anyone.

You have to totally unplug yourself from your present reality and pretend that you are just a baby being born into the world where you have to learn everything.

You have to call and find a place right now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. You have to say fuck this I;m done with all this horseshit and I am going to try one more time to get my act together.

30 to 90 days is nothin'. That's not long enough to turn your life around. Give it 1 year in a treatment facility and you just might surprise yourself.

And do it before you fail your UA and get violated because even though you don't think klonopin will show up......it absolutely will. Klonopin and diazepam both make the benzo light up on the panel like a firecracker. Believe me, I know.

Please do yourself a favor and make the call. You know that this is coming from a place of caring from me. You've known me long enough to know that I wouldnt say this unless I thought it was true. I want to see you posting good things a year from now.....not read that you are in prison or that you killed yourself.
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While I agree completely prison isn’t the right place, I’m always amazed at how someone could even afford a year at a place. Even with insurance I ended up paying an arm and a leg for a week at a facility one time, then I see these people that have done it 7-8times and begin to see the money game around it all. In the US at least, rehabs are outrageous.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
While I agree completely prison isn’t the right place, I’m always amazed at how someone could even afford a year at a place. Even with insurance I ended up paying an arm and a leg for a week at a facility one time, then I see these people that have done it 7-8times and begin to see the money game around it all. In the US at least, rehabs are outrageous.

-GC
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I agree about the cost. Ten years ago most people didn't have many options but in todays climate there is all sorts of funding for people that REALLY want to get clean and have a life. Most people aren't aware of the abundant services and financial help that is being offered now.

Where there's a will, there's a way is my motto. If I walked into a Health and Human Services office and told them I would commit to a year if they could find me a place and help with the funding I'm pretty sure that they could make it work somehow.

But we have to really want it. We have to commit to our goals. We have to say fuck this shit I want to live and have a life and get married and have kids and get a job and grow old. If that's not what we want then we stay using. And stay miserable.
 
OpiateKiller said:
i wannt o flroida
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Yeah... may be worse than prison and where ya at now regarding drugs availability ime. ;)
Regardless of where a person decides to get clean (prison, rehab, home etc), it will not last if the detoxee isn't ready. Whatever it is inside us that clicks when we decide to do something and follow through with it has to be the foundation of successfully accomplishing anything.
Just my take, bro. It was the realization that I was taking down the one I love, cherish and live for that gave me the "spark" to commit. Once the reason(s) for quitting or gaining control is/are in place the deed isn't such a mountain.
Dude I wish there were some magic words to put down for ya. It would be nice to see posts in a free and happy-ish style from you. The torment that is obvious in these communications are heart wrenching as I know they are real.
I wish you the best and hope to see you in a better place at some point. NOT PRISON! :oops:
One
 
OpiateKiller said:
I don’t want anything but to find the nearest child molester ....................
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Although they may deserve this they will become the victim (and garnish favor) and you the felon with all the dressings that go with it.
What has triggered all this, bro?
The last part was removed as I see the post is now gone and didn't want to endanger anyones freedoms.
 
OpiateKiller said:
I've lost all hop. I used to be able to raw dog cold turkey drug habits like Oxycodone, methadone, fentanyl heroin,,,

Nothing could hold me back,

Now I can;t even go 3 days without trenbolone and testosterone in my system, I can;t get an honest 30+ days clean ... I can't do any of it.

So honestly qurstion for those who did a long prison Bid, Is this my only chance?

I'm so fuckng angry and Prison has been the only safe place for me to not have a way out. No gabapentin, no lyrica, no benzos, no fentanyl ,no cocaine...

I'm honestly considering committing a vey serious crime and hoping to land somewhere between 3.5-7 years in prison.

I think it's the only way I have even a fighting chance at rehabilitation ... I need that disciple I need to humble myself before it's too fuckin late for me.
Click to expand...
I'm in a similar situation mate I was doing quite good a few months ago but now my tolerance is fucked again smoking like 2 grams a day.. Not had any today been in bed for most of it except to go chemist
 
I dont know a whole lot about steroids and to educate myself a bit I read thru some of the threads in the sports & image enhancing forum. I believe I read the once you start fucking with test you will need do it forever or otherwise live with a hormonal imbalance...is that accurate? If it is accurate, maybe to stay clean you can discuss that problem with a doctor and get on something that is prescribed to you to manage that problem and start treating it as a medical condition...my take is that using test causes long term physical and psychological health issues. Maybe if you remove that element of sourcing and also instability it could help you?

You matter. You are worth it. You just have to figure out how to believe that!

I think nurse ratchet has the right idea...a treatment center for a year...fuck it maybe even 18 months...thats how long it took for me tonsleep a solid 8 hours thru the night the first time I got clean.

I live in Florida and I do love it and would never move back to a cold state again. Im originally from NJ. Seasonal defective disorder really fucks with me.
 
I think Australian prisons are more compassionate towards drug addicts doing time than the US. In Aussie prisons most new inmates spend a week or two in the hospital ward doped up on valium just lying around in bed detoxing. I think prisoners call it the chill wing

With the cost of treatment in American the OP should book a ticket to Sydney Australia and once in Oz walk into a suburban pokies pub (Slot machines) with a baseball bat and bash the fuck out of all the poker machines/slot machines. If he punches the bouncer a couple of times he's guaranteed treatment.

Sure he's also guaranteed to get deported but meh heroin is 4 times the price in Australia than the States
 
OpiateKiller said:
I've lost all hop. I used to be able to raw dog cold turkey drug habits like Oxycodone, methadone, fentanyl heroin,,,

Nothing could hold me back,

Now I can;t even go 3 days without trenbolone and testosterone in my system, I can;t get an honest 30+ days clean ... I can't do any of it.

So honestly qurstion for those who did a long prison Bid, Is this my only chance?

I'm so fuckng angry and Prison has been the only safe place for me to not have a way out. No gabapentin, no lyrica, no benzos, no fentanyl ,no cocaine...

I'm honestly considering committing a vey serious crime and hoping to land somewhere between 3.5-7 years in prison.

I think it's the only way I have even a fighting chance at rehabilitation ... I need that disciple I need to humble myself before it's too fuckin late for me.
Click to expand...
I think that being dropped off in the middle of the wilderness can bring you spiritual enlightenment, with sufficient food and teaching you survival skills. With the toxicity of society it will color your "recovery". Once you are back in society, you can fall into the same patterns though.
 
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