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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Venting Alcohol WD

Mate, I'm with you here. I'm sick of the shit myself.

I won't go into details but drinking vodka for breakfast can't be good.

How about we try to sack it off together? I recently did 15 days clear then got busted, which was a perfect excuse to get back on it.


Perhaps we could support each other?
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Sobered up . again. but its just that the people around me. my loving relatives. And my two kid's that live with my witch bitch that make it even more important i stay away from that poisonous fluid for ever.

The reason I have no contact with those last two is because my ex did two false accusation's. So actually she called the cop's and accused me of DUI and stalking.

I don't even have a car or driving license or stalked her. But I guess what she said way's more heavy then the truth. So I am officially not allowed to see my kid's without supervision. And labeled an alcoholic while she never even saw me tipsy. Sad but through.
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Damn bro, I'm really sorry about all that bs with your ex, that is some underhanded shit.

But good on you for sobering up again. Just keep stringing days together as you can.
 
I'm also here with you man. I'm so fucking tired of the fact that I can't cut alcohol out of my life. I keep trying, will be sober for a day or two, then drink again.

F.U.B.A.R. said:
How about we try to sack it off together? I recently did 15 days clear then got busted, which was a perfect excuse to get back on it.


Perhaps we could support each other?
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im totally down, we should start an alcohol support group

I honestly want to scream because I can't stop drinking and it's 80% of the reason I can't move on with my life


we are not alone
 
Negentropic said:
Hang in there man. I always dread going to the grocery store for this exact reason.

For me, it helps a lot if I mentally prepare myself for the triggers. Because if I don't, it's always those random sudden urges that get me.


u got this man, the cravings and triggers get so much less intense after 12-14 days
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The actual trigger was not even Ethanol or a reminder off. But a call from my ex.

So that is my first step I will take after i been through the first 2 weeks. Called th AA btw today.They use Zoom in the Pandemie.
In the meantime I just have to keep some distance fro the mother of my kid's without distancing myself even further from my kid's.

EMDR was suggested by my counselor, seemingly it does seem to work even though you are still in direct contact with the one that caused it.
 
cdin said:
... they're talking in your best interest. if you keep slamming your gaba systems w ethanol and benzos, you are going to put yourself in a position of having to be on 24/7 phenobarb. but you do you. PErsonally aggravating seizure disorders seems like the worst way to go.
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The AA thought it was ridiculous as did I. As only a fewe Alcoholic's can stick to just a few drink once in a while.

Not really a good medical approach is what I think
 
Negentropic said:
I'm also here with you man. I'm so fucking tired of the fact that I can't cut alcohol out of my life. I keep trying, will be sober for a day or two, then drink again.


im totally down, we should start an alcohol support group

I honestly want to scream because I can't stop drinking and it's 80% of the reason I can't move on with my life


we are not alone
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Some how a daily check up with alcohol seems necessary. So you can def put me on the list

I mean i had wy share in drug addiction's and alcohol top's em all. Horribel especially as the effects are way below any drug And its everywhere. The shop i buy it is closed 2 times a year, 2 januari drank a bottle vodka. I actually finished it.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
The actual trigger was not even Ethanol or a reminder off. But a call from my ex.
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I can relate man, sometimes I will go to the grocery store and not be triggered at all, buy my food go home, cook, be sober, sleep fine. Other times, it feels like I'm going to fucking die if I don't leave the store with beer.

alcohol triggers to me seem so much more irrational than other drugs, so unpredictable

so unpredictable... and for me... when they come on, it's like every fiber and circtuit in my brain tells me that I cannot continue this day without buying alcohol... It overrides every fucking part of my brain... no matter how much I hate alcohol

personally man, I don't know about you we both have different situations and lives, but I need help. I need to reach out and talk to someone. Maybe a shrink, maybe AA, whatever it doesnt fucking matter, I just know I need help and I need to GET HELP which means talking to people and actually asking for it

but yeah man

what I don't understand most is that I actually hate alcohol, it's a shit fucking drug... dad and grandad both alcoholics... i fucking HATE IT... but can't stop

..................BECAUSE ITS LEGAL........... WHY IS IT LEGAL
 
Negentropic said:
..................BECAUSE ITS LEGAL........... WHY IS IT LEGAL
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Its to easy to manufacture it by yourself but the trouble was that was no quality control , likewise for Cannabis until recently. So wrong distillation, with high Methanol content. Or fortified liquors. Maybe with white Spiritus, don't know if that is possible. But blindness was a known problem.

But what i mainly recognize in your story is the fact that in my and your's apparently. In taht time it seemed it was common to get drunk and smoke in the house, despite the fact that there where kid's in the room. Something that at least were i live is totally not done. Unacceptable.
 
saturday and I am still sober and tapering my Flunitrazolam. Last night was bizar I had nightmare's in which not only my ex played a part and all sorts of not so nice unknown people.

There were also two epileptic insults, in my dream, but i have no clue if they were real. Or just dreams meant for processing. The felt real only normally i am out during them.

Btw what seemed like a 2 day relapse was a four day, apperently I tapered before stopping. But the first two day's were bad. Like in one liter bad.
 
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emkee_reinvented said:
saturday and I am still sober and tapering my Flunitrazolam. Last night was bizar I had nightmare's in which not only my ex played a part and all sorts of not so nice unknown people.

There were also to insults but i have no clue if they were real or just dreams meant for processing. The felt real only normally i am out during them.

Btw what seemed like a 2 day relapse was a four day, apperently I tapered before stopping. But the first two day's were bad. Like in one liter bad.
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Good on you for staying sober man!!! That's great!
Yeah I have the most horrific nightmares when coming off benzos and alcohol, particularly benzos though. Like, extremely traumatising, graphic nightmares, and LOTS of sleep paralysis hallucinations as well. It's awful.

Keep it up though man, it only gets better and better with each day you stay sober <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Good on you for staying sober man!!! That's great!
Yeah I have the most horrific nightmares when coming off benzos and alcohol, particularly benzos though. Like, extremely traumatising, graphic nightmares, and LOTS of sleep paralysis hallucinations as well. It's awful.

Keep it up though man, it only gets better and better with each day you stay sober <3
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The Benzo's is another issue. As the time I am using them gets longer then was the original plan.

Clobazam is great btw. I feel nothing when I take it but it saved me from a insult I think. Its also very use full for tapering. In maximum 2 weeks I want nothing in my system except the med's for the Epilepsy. I am quitting cannabis to beforehand. Cause they gonna do a 24 hour EEG or ECG.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
The actual trigger was not even Ethanol or a reminder off. But a call from my ex.

So that is my first step I will take after i been through the first 2 weeks. Called th AA btw today.They use Zoom in the Pandemie.
In the meantime I just have to keep some distance fro the mother of my kid's without distancing myself even further from my kid's.

EMDR was suggested by my counselor, seemingly it does seem to work even though you are still in direct contact with the one that caused it.
Click to expand...
Yes, I am still abused to this day by the people who fucked me up, and EMDR has been a godsend.
 
cdin said:
... they're talking in your best interest. if you keep slamming your gaba systems w ethanol and benzos, you are going to put yourself in a position of having to be on 24/7 phenobarb. but you do you. PErsonally aggravating seizure disorders seems like the worst way to go.
Click to expand...
to be clear - I wasn't saying "yeah it's cool to have a couple drinks a week" ... you gotta understand, medical professionals usually try and meet people where they are at --- if they had said "OMG you need to be off all alcohol tomorrow, this is SO contraindicated with your epilepsy" it would probably have scared you or some folks off the process entirely. I was saying "they are making those comments to get you used to the fact that ANY (meaning any GABA related drugs outside of a regimen to really control the epilepsy) of that use is going to bite you in the ass in a big way" I'm fully w the AA folks, and what I was trying to say the whole time "You gotta get off these agents before you eff your seizure threshold so much you have to be on round the clock, extremely heavy neuroleptic meds (like daily phenobarbital)
 
cdin said:
to be clear - I wasn't saying "yeah it's cool to have a couple drinks a week" ... you gotta understand, medical professionals usually try and meet people where they are at --- if they had said "OMG you need to be off all alcohol tomorrow, this is SO contraindicated with your epilepsy" it would probably have scared you or some folks off the process entirely. I was saying "they are making those comments to get you used to the fact that ANY (meaning any GABA related drugs outside of a regimen to really control the epilepsy) of that use is going to bite you in the ass in a big way" I'm fully w the AA folks, and what I was trying to say the whole time "You gotta get off these agents before you eff your seizure threshold so much you have to be on round the clock, extremely heavy neuroleptic meds (like daily phenobarbital)
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My own decision this last time for quitting for good. Have not told anybody this.
The first 2 day's after my mini taper from that 4 day relapse.

These symptom's occurred, despite the Benzo's. You know the old people who can't keep their head still. They constantly bob/ shake their head's. It seems like they can't control it. I could stop it but it would start again after my attention was taken off it. That scared the shit out of me , like i passed a certain line. And it would be worse next time I would slip up.

So there is no way I can afford another relapse. Its gon now, the shaking, luckily or I would have sought medical attention. Day 9 of soberness has started for me after year's of relapses. Which is the longest I ever kept up.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
My own decision this last time for quitting for good. Have not told anybody this.
The first 2 day's after my mini taper from that 4 day relapse.

These symptom's occurred, despite the Benzo's. You know the old people who can't keep their head still. They constantly bob/ shake their head's. It seems like they can't control it. I could stop it but it would start again after my attention was taken off it. That scared the shit out of me , like i passed a certain line. And it would be worse next time I would slip up.

So there is no way I can afford another relapse. Its gon now, the shaking, luckily or I would have sought medical attention. Day 9 of soberness has started for me after year's of relapses. Which is the longest I ever kept up.
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Please please keep it up, it only gets easier from here. I have been through alcohol WDs so many hundreds of times and I truly would not wish it upon anyone. You've made it to 9 days, that is excellent!!!! Please don't give up now. Just take it one day at a time, and distract yourself whenever you feel any cravings. If you feel any cravings, just ride it out, and take it one moment at a time. Cravings WILL pass!! You just have to ride it out. Practice deep breathing and mindfulness exercises (there are loads of apps you can download on to your phone, my fave is called Mindful Attitude).
You've got this man, please stay sober <3
 
yes sir, keep it up. I think you are making such a positive decision. and yes -- you are correct, the shaking/movement symptoms only get worse with further abuse. This is what finally made me clean up - realizing how debilitated life would be with constant seizure and movement problems, how much it would suck to have to take daily massive phenobarbital to function.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Not very well according to the quitting, I had a relapse today .

But can't drink very much today as I am not accustomed to it anymore. So I keep it to the minimal.

Drum and bass helps, they are very anti drug miss usage.
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It's only a tiny slip up. Don't worry about it too much. Just focus on being sober again tomorrow, take it one day at a time <3
 
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