Nurse Ratched
Bluelight Crew
Cool post and enlightening. I'm actually doing quite well in my life. Finally. Better late than never I suppose. I was , no question, addicted to pharm opioids from my 20's to my 50's. I was prescribed some for an injury in the 80's and I instantly knew I was in trouble. Anxiety and depression melted away and I was finally able to breathe easier and go on with all my adulting duties. But.....since I never had legit pain I couldn't get them prescribed. So i bought from friends, stole from friends and family ( just their pills not any other possessions ) and tried to con Dr.s all the time to hook me up. A few fell for it....most didn't. I was unquestionably addicted ( more mentally than physically) Only reason I escaped dependence as I couldn't source enough. Money or availability kept me from a constant supply. But I thought about them daily. Was obsessed with pain pills. Thought they were the only medicine in the whole world that could make me feel like a complete human being.Hi @Pumpkin2021,
Interesting question, thanks for raising it. You identify as having an addiction but then also question if you are? In this online-forum context, It would be up to you to decide if your use is making your life unmanageable. It's a really difficult question to answer without more details. It would depend on how you define being 'addicted' or having an 'addiction' or what type of model you prescribe to.
Personally, I wouldn't ever ask for a diagnosis from an online forum, but as a thought experiment, I'll give some input.
In the offline world, if you would want to be diagnosed then you would need to consult a trained clinician. If they used the Classification of Diseases (ICD)-9 and ICD-10, then it might be difficult as they don't differentiate between 'dependence' and 'addiction' or 'just liking'. If the clinician were to use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5th edition (DSM-5), then you wouldn't find out if you're 'addicted' but rather how severe your substance use disorder is because a clinician would diagnose the severity or how much of a problem it is based on how many of the 11 symptoms are identified.
Many possibilities, but I do hope you are able to cope in the meantime.
After many years of stupid decisions, legal problems, several rock bottoms, and several outpatient therapies I finally decided to buckle up, quit all of it and live my life the way I always wanted too. Damn shame I was also a senior citizen by this time, but hey, like I said better late than never. But the anxiety and depression was still there so now I'm like okay now what do I do. AD's weren't enough and neither was weed. They both actually made me feel worse. I heard about kratom and decided to give it a whirl. It helped, I stayed away from pills, restructured my life, and I can honestly say I got a second chance. But I suppose I am still addicted to a substance that has the power to ease my anxiety and depression and have justified it as being better than being addicted to the lifestyle and behaviors that I was practicing.
And by the way, welcome to Bluelight.