Long time lurker

[TheKidd]

Hello all! I I’ve lurked on here off and on through out the years, my drug of choice is 100% heroin via IV use, but I’ve been clean for a little over 6 months thanks to a methadone clinic, I’m working on changing that though. I’ve done practically all the better known street drugs out there besides PCP, as well as a fair amount of RCs (more then I’m probably even aware of lol) back in my party drug “phase” in high school.

 

[darvocet21]

Hello all! I I’ve lurked on here off and on through out the years, my drug of choice is 100% heroin via IV use, but I’ve been clean for a little over 6 months thanks to a methadone clinic, I’m working on changing that though. I’ve done practically all the better known street drugs out there besides PCP, as well as a fair amount of RCs (more then I’m probably even aware of lol) back in my party drug “phase” in high school.

No that's not the password. But guess what: there is no password. And you certainly don't need to take drugs to be accepted here. Come on in you want something to drink? I can already tell you're completely bonkers so I know I'm going to like you

Now that you're inside we only have one rule. It's simple. You come and you go as you please. But no more lurking. In fact we don't use that word. No going back to being a voyeur

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Hello all!

Hey!
Not a lot just watching the sun rise what hemisphere ya in? lol jk
Welcome and see ya have made a few posts in other subs so will just kinda exit stage left.
Hope to run across ya somewhere else I kinda get lost I may ask ya which way, OK? lolo
Peace

 

[darvocet21]

You'll find no truer friend than 6 a.m. he's generous and warm and kind which is why no one has the heart to tell him the truth about this place. I mean why should we when he clearly inhabits a fantasy world of his own including the fact that he's somehow back on Earth. Even claims to have had a skateboarding accident. I had to ask ident they were apparently a form of rebellious individualism. Not to mention dangerous... especially on concrete steps

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

he clearly inhabits a fantasy world of his own

Thank you
crying of course haha
on another note
Is it mine? Ya bring up a very good point. What the fuck is what I am soooo fuckin confused sometimes. Thoughtfull comment and very humbling
Always

 

[TheKidd]

I’m from Wisconsin but I moved to Missouri to help myself get clean, and being that I’m ridiculously shy it’s hard for me to socialize with people in real life, and I knew this forum had a recovery section which is where I’ll probably spend most of my time. I figure some social interaction even online is better then nothing right. Thank you both for welcoming me!!! @6am-64-14m @darvocet21

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I’ll probably spend most of my time. I figure some social interaction even online is better then nothing right.

Yeah plz stay with us for a bit as this place has help heal many but many have passed as well.
BL (its people) were a big part of regaining sanity years ago and still today. I do in fact on "social" on BL as I just dont trust social media or anything else for that matter.... everything is supect and must be analyzed, criticized and hypothesized.
So where ya at with recovery? I may have missed it I always miss something. drug of choice and are ya on something now?
1

shy it’s hard for me to socialize with people in real life,

I am the opposite of shy but still do not care to socialized with those I walk around.
I get it.
Have some fun and if nothing else spending time here can put off some urges in my experience. If we can put one off for even a minute that is moving ahead, imo.
1

 

[TheKidd]

Heroin is my drug of choice, but like 99% of heroin afflicts I started on pills at the age of 14, then graduate to heroin shortly after graduating high school. I’ve been clean something like 6 months (I don’t keep track of the exact date) since I’m in a methadone program, but I just found out that with methadone you’re sick for months sometimes so now I’m in the process of tapering off of methadone to go on suboxone, and then I plan to taper off of suboxone after a few months since from my understanding it’s not as crazy as methadone withdrawals are. I’m upset with myself I didn’t just man up and not use when I moved here I had more then enough money saved up I could have been fine having to wait a week or so until I’m through the worst of the WDs from heroin and could have started working again. But I’m only shy around people I don’t know, and in person, once I get to know you in real life, and when I’m talking to people online I don’t shut up lol.

 

[darvocet21]

A lot of people on here have a lot of first hand experience to offer. Even me from time to time however I don't have any with long term use of Suboxone. However if the dose of methadone is not sufficient then some people move away from it however there's an adjustment period to reach "stabilization" in narcotic replacement therapy. My own took several years due to stubbornness mainly. Finally I went up to a dose that would hold me which was 120 mg. If that sounds like a lot well it did to me too, but it was what I needed which was to stop the obsessive compulsive thinking and behavior.

 

[TheKidd]

I’ve been at 70 mgs for a few months now and was good until yesterday was the first day I actively set out looking for someone I could cop from, I didn’t luckily, but I’m tapering down so I can make the switch which has me a little nervous. I’m also making the switch because I’m spending $600 a month to be in this stupid methadone clinic which is killing me financially, where as suboxone I can get it free with funding, and my insurance should cover it, if not all at least most of it once the state funding runs out.

 

[darvocet21]

I love this place so much. The one place where I feel we're All in it together

 

[TheKidd]

Yeah it’s insanely easy for me to come up with any little excuse to use, and like I said I know a geographical change doesn’t fix anything, but so far the one time I’ve been ready to go out and use it gave me enough time to actually think about shit while I was out looking around for something and to change my mind.

 

[dragonix]

Howdy pahtna

 

[darvocet21]

Yeah it’s insanely easy for me to come up with any little excuse to use, and like I said I know a geographical change doesn’t fix anything, but so far the one time I’ve been ready to go out and use it gave me enough time to actually think about shit while I was out looking around for something and to change my mind.

I’ve been at 70 mgs for a few months now and was good until yesterday was the first day I actively set out looking for someone I could cop from, I didn’t luckily, but I’m tapering down so I can make the switch which has me a little nervous. I’m also making the switch because I’m spending $600 a month to be in this stupid methadone clinic which is killing me financially, where as suboxone I can get it free with funding, and my insurance should cover it, if not all at least most of it once the state funding runs out.

Sounds like the state is channeling people into Suboxone use. $600 is outrageous for methadone I just don't get it. What state, if you don't want to reveal just give us the part of the country that it's in. Whatever you feel comfortable with. I've done the zombie shuffle through streets where I couldn't even get a bum to approach me let alone somebody selling something I might want to buy.

No one selling anything here

We joke around from time to time but typically don't start in so fast.

Sometimes I have this idea that I've planned out in advance something with somebody which I haven't and that's where you came in with all your earnestness and self-flagellation ... and I'm very good at recruiting somebody for something which is when I decided 6 a.m. would be the perfect foil as a couple of inmates welcoming the latest batch of hapless "settlers" deposited by Bluelight Mining Corporation Survey Team's newly expanded operations in the asteroid belt or maybe Saturns moons I don't think we quite got that far with you but the story about the fall down the concrete steps in Earth's gravity is real. I just was hoping 6 a.m. would catch on and play up being clueless with the rest of it. I mean what are friends for?

Although did you notice he did mention the AI was supplying him with pretty good excuses and it never does for me.

 

[TheKidd]

Sounds like the state is channeling people into Suboxone use. $600 is outrageous for methadone I just don't get it. What state, if you don't want to reveal just give us the part of the country that it's in. Whatever you feel comfortable with. I've done the zombie shuffle through streets where I couldn't even get a bum to approach me let alone somebody selling something I might want to buy.

I moved to Missouri about 6 months ago it’s only $80 a week if I’m not working, but even at this job I took right away when I first got here for $15 a hour for something to just get some money coming in I was paying $150 a week, I’d hate to see what it’d cost once I get this other job as a fork lift operator since it pays a good bit more. And I’ve tried suboxone before but couldn’t really get over that nasty citrusy taste dissolving under my tongue. But to save that much money I’ll get over it lol.

 

[darvocet21]

I moved to Missouri about 6 months ago it’s only $80 a week if I’m not working, but even at this job I took right away when I first got here for $15 a hour for something to just get some money coming in I was paying $150 a week, I’d hate to see what it’d cost once I get this other job as a fork lift operator since it pays a good bit more. And I’ve tried suboxone before but couldn’t really get over that nasty citrusy taste dissolving under my tongue. But to save that much money I’ll get over it lol.

Missouri penalizing people for working which is a major component recovery from opioid use disorder, second only to family and friends who are supportive and loving. It's a disgrace. Throw the bums out!

 

[darvocet21]

It's also effectively a subsidy of the pharmaceutical industry. Methadone I don't know what it costs to make I'd guess pennies per dose. Suboxone even though off-patent now is still build highly to insurance if you're not paying for it and if you are expect to pay $80-100 for a 14-day supply

Very cynical

 

[TheKidd]

Missouri penalizing people for working which is a major component recovery from opioid use disorder, second only to family and friends who are supportive and loving. It's a disgrace. Throw the bums out!

Yeah its insane, I’m barely scraping by because of how much I’m having to pay lucky for me I’m able to work up to 16 hours of overtime a week if I want, otherwise I’d never be able to support myself, and my daughter paying $600 a month for methadone when I was only making $15 an hour if I wasn’t able to work overtime like this. Also lucky that I can get a 2 bedroom apartment for $550 a month down here, but working overtime like this every week just to barely scrape by is TERRIBLE for my mental health.

 

[darvocet21]

That is amazing. A two-bedroom apartment where I live you'd expect to pay 4-5x that amount. I don't live in Beverly Hills or Santa Monica either but in a solidly working-class neighborhood mostly of one story single family homes and big apartment buildings on the larger Streets.

That's really nice to hear that you're a father I never would have guessed it.

My default is picturing new bluelighters as 17 yrs. old

 

[darvocet21]

Most methadone clinics are subsidized. A lot of them are tax-exempt nonprofit organizations. Who's pocketing methadone cash?

Wasn't there an opioid epidemic I heard something about it in the news I know that Obama Trump Biden have all talked about it.

If you want to know the priorities of government with respect to citizens' health, especially those with histories of substance abuse, of the type of substance that's on track to cause a hundred thousand premature deaths, $600/month says everything. More than you spend on your housing. Probably more than you spend on food.