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Mental Health Overcoming low self esteem

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Blankenstein

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
410
Not sure if this topic has been discussed before. I kind of used the search function/didn’t really…

In my seemingly never ending quest for not being a fuck up I have come to the realisation that low self esteem plays a major role in where I am and how I got here.

does anybody have any pearls of wisdom as to how they have dealt with low self esteem?
 
Hey..i totally got you hear..i felt very low for a long time. I had to take a step back and ask why, why the hell am i feeling like this..i come to a conclusion that it was down to me, yes the obvious you say.well i was carrying around burden..taking in what negative things people say to me..i decided fuck this for party and dropped it all..went walks day by day and each day dropped the burdens..took i deep breath of air and replaced all the crap with what little good things and thoughts i had left..was hard but first recognise whats bringing me down was the the start..good luck on your quest. Hope this helps a little.
 
Toxic 1 said:
Hey..i totally got you hear..i felt very low for a long time. I had to take a step back and ask why, why the hell am i feeling like this..i come to a conclusion that it was down to me, yes the obvious you say.well i was carrying around burden..taking in what negative things people say to me..i decided fuck this for party and dropped it all..went walks day by day and each day dropped the burdens..took i deep breath of air and replaced all the crap with what little good things and thoughts i had left..was hard but first recognise whats bringing me down was the the start..good luck on your quest. Hope this helps a little.
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Thanks man I really appreciate your response.

I totally relate to what you said about taking on board negative things people say.

I’m now in my 30’s and need to figure out what I’m doing with my life. I often come up with ideas/plans as to what I want to do, but if someone says one negative thing or puts a bit of doubt in my mind I pull back and just double down with using drugs and feeling like I’m not capable of achieving whatever i wanted to do/achieve.

🤷‍♂️ I gotta figure out how to get over that sort of thing so thought I’d ask the question on here.

thanks man I really appreciate your input.
 
If ya come up with an awesome idea, give it a go and fuck whatever anyone says. Chances are you will succeed in the undertaking and each "success" will reinforce the opposite of "what's the use it aint gonna work anyway".
Push pass the doubts on the smallest of issues and before ya know it, ya on yer way to being the next president of the US. Well, please don't get that big-headed it may turn orange and pop like an over-ripe pumpkin. lol

But seriously... others will always try to keep ya down with disparagement, doubts and shit like "never gonna happen". It can and does happen for those who let the dead bury the dead. :)
 
Yeh
6am-64-14m said:
If ya come up with an awesome idea, give it a go and fuck whatever anyone says. Chances are you will succeed in the undertaking and each "success" will reinforce the opposite of "what's the use it aint gonna work anyway".
Push pass the doubts on the smallest of issues and before ya know it, ya on yer way to being the next president of the US. Well, please don't get that big-headed it may turn orange and pop like an over-ripe pumpkin. lol

But seriously... others will always try to keep ya down with disparagement, doubts and shit like "never gonna happen". It can and does happen for those who let the dead bury the dead. :)
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Yeh I know man. Just gotta take the plunge. I spose so many years of ingrained thinking and habits are hard to get past, but yeh I agree with you.

I listen to a British podcast sometimes called “mentally yours” a podcast about mental health. Listened to an episode today where the host interviewed 2 dudes who have written books on happiness and were just talking about happiness and life. One thing they said is “fail” is an acronym for “first attempt in learning” as long as you learn and grow from a failure that’s all that matters. Guess that kind of relates to this. Was an interesting podcast anyway.
 
Blankenstein said:
fail
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It is my credo that failing is a part of succeeding. If i am not willing to fail... chances are overcoming is less an option.
I have learned more from my mistakes and failures than accomplisnents. It teaches me a thing or three from considering how it failed.
Whats the old saying? Never know til ya try....
Was told as a child that I would never amount to anything but in the same breath; ya can do anything ya put yer mind to. What a bunch os shit, man. lol
Was also told by moms that she didnt like the way i walked, talked or my ways. Dunnily enough... others seem to see me as the opposite and it took me forever to realize that she just hated herself.
This isnt a poor pitiful me post: It is a fuck those who would tear us down and tey to lord over us through our debasements. Fuck em.
What in life would help your outlook on this self-doubt if you were to accomplish? Who would you LOVE to prove to be an idiot if it meant raising esteem just a bit?
 
Think about this for a minute: you are a completely unique and distinct being. Never before in all of time has there been a "you" and when you're gone, your present self as incarnated in this life will never exist again. All of your experiences are yours and will never happen again for anyone else. You are 100% original. And, you could have just as easily not existed at all. But the universe decided someone like YOU should be alive. How can you assign a value on that?
 
Something else to ponder: Do we even have a self? If I ask you, "who are you?", how will you answer me? You'll tell me your name, your gender, your job, etc. but these are all roles you've been assigned and taught to identify with. Where is your self? Isn't it just an idea? Another concept?

When we were babies, before we learned language, there was only awareness. There was no "I" because that requires conceptual thinking. Isn't that what we really are?
 
6am-64-14m said:
...please don't get that big-headed it may turn orange and pop like an over-ripe pumpkin.
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This is actually a great point because he was a great example of just how far you can go on self confidence, even when it's not deserved.
 
Thank you everyone for your responses. I felt a little silly for posting this thread so hadn’t checked on it for a few days, but you have all given me a lot of food for thought.

I was drinking a lot and using prescription pills in the lead up to posting this thread. I was 8 days of everything up until today and feeling a lot better mentally. Though I did have some tramadol and Valium tonight…

It’s amazing how stopping using substances and exercising and improve my mental health and improve my self worth/esteem.

As I mentioned in the recovery thread I feel less depressed and sharper since stopping. Obviously my self esteem issues won’t be fixed over night, but using isn’t going to help.

and yeh thank you to everyone who took the time and posted. I really appreciate all of you. 🙏
 
WhitePlaster said:
Fake it till you make it. If you force yourself to have better self-esteem by keeping clean, dressing nice and treating yourself like you would your best friend, you will get the hang of it eventually. After you do, you will notice that a lot of people around you have the same issue...
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Yeh it’s amazing how even the little things start to improve when I’m not using or drinking. I actually make my bed, keep my room in order and don’t eat/drink sugary things. All these little things
Do make me feel better about my self.
 
Lovecraft said:
Think about this for a minute: you are a completely unique and distinct being. Never before in all of time has there been a "you" and when you're gone, your present self as incarnated in this life will never exist again. All of your experiences are yours and will never happen again for anyone else. You are 100% original. And, you could have just as easily not existed at all. But the universe decided someone like YOU should be alive. How can you assign a value on that?
Click to expand...
Yeh and I guess the older I get I feel life is passing me by and I only have one shot at it so I have to just say fuck it and go for it and not worry about what others say or what I think they say about me.
 
Try to make a routine of the things that help your feel good.

For example, I try to do three things every day. Shower, brush my teeth, and go for a walk. Less than 30 minutes a day, and I can do it sober or high, but it's something I can do that helps me feel better.
 
assclass said:
Try to make a routine of the things that help your feel good.

For example, I try to do three things every day. Shower, brush my teeth, and go for a walk. Less than 30 minutes a day, and I can do it sober or high, but it's something I can do that helps me feel better.
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Yeh for sure. Been waking up super early for work, making my bed, cleaning my room, working, gym and then even reading, started and finished reading a book while at work. Just little things, but hopefully the less I procrastinate and look after my self my self esteem will start picking.

fake it til I make as someone above suggested.
 
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