LostWife is back again... Ugghhh

[n3ophy7e]

Thanks for the update hun, I'm really excited for you both. This is a fantastic outcome

 

[BananasAndOranges]

[Everyone's life and experiences are different, we are not here to judge. Please be more thoughtful with your comments in TDS, thanks - n3o]

 

[TriggerHappy]

^ sorry B&O, the fact that you're so defensive and angry, that the first sentence of your post contains a typo... well, seems like you're finding out what you must be blocking-- sub, 'done and adderall are frequently abused drugs. yes, they have their medical purposes, but they all cause plenty of suffering by creating addicts and perpetuating addiction. you have traded your H habit for a harder to kick 'done habit. i just read your thread and i have compassion for you. you clearly think that the answer lies in the perfect combo of meds... not so. the OP is advocating rehab and christianity, please stop heckling. *shakes head*

 

[User Name Here]

^ sorry B&O, the fact that you're so defensive and angry, that the first sentence of your post contains a typo... well, seems like you're finding out what you must be blocking-- sub, 'done and adderall are frequently abused drugs. yes, they have their medical purposes, but they all cause plenty of suffering by creating addicts and perpetuating addiction. you have traded your H habit for a harder to kick 'done habit. i just read your thread and i have compassion for you. you clearly think that the answer lies in the perfect combo of meds... not so. the OP is advocating rehab and christianity, please stop heckling. *shakes head*

Well said.

 

[unsettled]

I'd guess he is using a hell of a lot of Subs and or Adderall, only because when these drugs are used in therapeutic doses they are hardly worth stealing for, or sabotaging a marriage over. Although I really don't feel it's my place to say and I'm definitely not judging (I've got my own drug issues), I'm just guessing.

I remember at the height of my Adderall use I would drink a lot to balance out the effects of the Adderall and I know my judgement was compromised at times. It does seem like something is missing from the picture, but the important thing is that at least he admitted the Suboxone to you. Possibly he has a gambling addiction and/or an alcohol problem along with the subs? I guess it doesn't matter anymore, the important thing is that he is going to rehab. Subs can be pretty addictive on their own and hard to get off, but he could have gotten a prescription for them if he really felt he needed them. To me Subs are the least recreational opiate around, but recreational nonetheless.

I wish you guys the best.

LostWife, you might want to get some help too if you want your relationship to work. I've been in relationships where I was the addict fucking things up and vice versa. It's a confusing way to live to say the least and has caused me years of unnecessary suffering. It's only in hindsight that I can see how profoundly and adversely my own addictions and the addictions of one of my ex girlfriends in particular affected my relationships and life in general.

I do believe that as long as you guys truly love each other and are committed to doing the necessary work to repair your relationship that everything will work out. I'm glad things seem to be going in the right direction!

 

[Georgie25]

Suboxone CAN be abused. If you already have a tolerance before getting on suboxone or trying to get high from it, no shit you don't receive a high from it. But opiate intolerant people commonly IV, snort, etc subs all the time and I know people who get very high from it, to the point of nodding and high euphoria. I think Banana's post was highly ignorant on his part. Just because you don't understand it or the drug effects you in a different manner than her husband gives you no right to call her names and come in here with your bullshit. Grow up.

 

[LostWife]

I actually got a referral for a therapist, so i'm calling tomorrow to make the appointment.. I do need help, lots of it! I'm really struggling with anger and stuff towards him for lying to me for two years...

As I think I said earlier in the thread, he was on heroin and oxycontin and started using the suboxone to stopvthat stuff, but then he couldn't stop the suboxone. He wasn't getting it perscribed, from what I've read it can be very helpful for people that go to a good doctor that wants to help them with a taper or whatever, but he was buying them off of the street and snorting them, that is not the proper use.

On the plane ride to phoenix he admitted that on our honeymoon he was withdrawaling... No wonder it was a nightmare! I'm so glad he's starting to be honest and admit things, but it's just hard to hear that stuff... I definitely need someone to help me through this anger/hurt that I've been feeling...

I feel like I should just be like woo hoo! He's getting help, he's telling the truth! And I am, but at the same time I guess I'm human and will feel those not so positive feelings as well... Ughh... Does that make me a crappy person!? To have someone finally admit their wrong-doings and feel angry!? I go through spurts, where I can just be like ahh so happy for him, but then a cloud of gloom comes over me and I'm just like, man! How could someone do that to someone, especially their spouse, the person they "love the most"... Then I feel guilty for feeling those things and just try to burry them, so I'm not dealing with it in a healthy way I guess.. Hopefully this counselor will be able to teach me how to deal with all of these things!

It's a scary thing to have to think about when he comes home all of the stuff we have to deal with, and I feel bad for thinking like that too... I should be focusing on the here and now, the fact that he's in rehab, getting help, admitting his wrongs, but it is a reality!

Sorry I'm kinda venting here, just having a bad night I guess :-/

I guess ill find out when I meet with this woman how to deal with all of these things... I hope and pray that these feelings will pass soon!

 

[BananasAndOranges]

^ sorry B&O, the fact that you're so defensive and angry, that the first sentence of your post contains a typo... well, seems like you're finding out what you must be blocking-- sub, 'done and adderall are frequently abused drugs. yes, they have their medical purposes, but they all cause plenty of suffering by creating addicts and perpetuating addiction. you have traded your H habit for a harder to kick 'done habit. i just read your thread and i have compassion for you. you clearly think that the answer lies in the perfect combo of meds... not so. the OP is advocating rehab and christianity, please stop heckling. *shakes head*

I'm sorry for thinking a Christian rehab is dumb. [please refrain from name-calling - n3o] I hated heroin. I gave up an annoying lifestyle. I know you probably think its a lie but I could go down to 40mgs and be Fine. To me thats a lot better than 600 dollars a week on heroin.

 

[LostWife]

<snip>

It might seem dumb to post all these issues on here, but to me this is a safe place, a place where I can be fully honest and not worry about what people are going to say or how they'll treat me. I can be myself and be fully honest without worrying who they're gonna gossip to or them changning the story and spreading rumors.. Its a place where I feel like I can be "private" while getting things out and getting advice.. It might sound dumb, because they are strangers and they don't know me, but a lot of the advice here had been helpful. I've been encouraged and lifted up while in such a dark place of secrecy in my real life. Yeah, now this stuff is in the open with my family since I left him and now the whole world since he was plastered on the news, but while I couldn't be open with anyone, I didn't know where else to go to seek advice, and the few people I could talk to at home don't have a clue about drugs or how to deal with this type of situation.

You can think its all a made up story- have at it, but it is very real and the hardest time of my life.

As far ad the Christian / non Christian thing, I don't force my beliefs on anyone, and my husband wanted to go to a Christian rehab, if he didn't he could have went elsewhere. You can say I'm ignorant or whatever, I am, I didn't have a clue about any of these things these people have shared with me. As I said before I'm grateful for their help, advice, encouragement etc..

As i said, I feel safe here and I've learned a lot. It's nice to be able to share things without the judgment of people in real life.. Really nice...

 

[LostWife]

Oh, and idk what you mean by someone posting the same story and me saying it was my husband? My husband can hardly turn on a computer yet find this place create a username and password and type to people, lol... I dunno what your talking about?

 

[Georgie25]

I'm sorry for thinking a Christian rehab is dumb. What difference does it make if its Christian or not that whole idea seems stupid. I didn't trade addictions and you're equally as dumb for saying so. I hated heroin. I gave up an annoying lifestyle. I know you probably think its a lie but I could go down to 40mgs and be Fine. To me thats a lot better than 600 dollars a week on heroin. Stupid shit.

Do you think anything of what you said helps her in anyway what-so-ever? By calling her problems stupid what the fuck does that accomplish or help? All the posts you've made here are self serving and do not offer any support at all. Obviously you have a different problem then her husband, but why come into her thread and downplay his problems and say problems like yours are so much more hardcore and "not stupid"? Just cause something works for you or doesn't mean it is the same way for her husband.

FoundWife: I know you got a good head on your shoulders so you don't even need me to tell you this but some people just aren't helpful so just ignore what he said...his opinions on things is obviously more important than everyone else's in the world, right? And good luck once again to you and your husband through your roads to recovery! Do you plan on getting any sort of family treatment yourself?

 

[LostWife]

FoundWife: I know you got a good head on your shoulders so you don't even need me to tell you this but some people just aren't helpful so just ignore what he said...his opinions on things is obviously more important than everyone else's in the world, right? And good luck once again to you and your husband through your roads to recovery! Do you plan on getting any sort of family treatment yourself?

Yes! I got a referral to a therapist today. I'm going to call tomorrow and make an appointment.. I'm really excited.. I think it's gonna be really good for me. I Need to just spill my guts to someone about my whole life and start picking up the pieces... A couple people suggested going to alanon as well, but I looked online and it said it was for drinking... Does anyone know if its for drug abuse as well?

 

[Help me please]

As far ad the Christian / non Christian thing, I don't force my beliefs on anyone, and my husband wanted to go to a Christian rehab, if he didn't he could have went elsewhere. You can say I'm ignorant or whatever, I am, I didn't have a clue about any of these things these people have shared with me. As I said before I'm grateful for their help, advice, encouragement etc..

As i said, I feel safe here and I've learned a lot. It's nice to be able to share things without the judgment of people in real life.. Really nice...

Sweetie ignore people that don't have anything nice to say! I gotta ask though...he was plastered all over the news? Huh? Did you mean here on BL or the news? How did that happen?

 

[Georgie25]

Yes! I got a referral to a therapist today. I'm going to call tomorrow and make an appointment.. I'm really excited.. I think it's gonna be really good for me. I Need to just spill my guts to someone about my whole life and start picking up the pieces... A couple people suggested going to alanon as well, but I looked online and it said it was for drinking... Does anyone know if its for drug abuse as well?

That's great to hear your getting treatment for yourself. Not only will it help you recover from all this it'll also give your husband inspiration and hope and will overall form a better foundation for when he gets out of rehab.

The alanon place around my area does meetings for alcohol and drugs so I would think they all would. Perhaps give them a call and find out? Good luck!

 

[LostWife]

Sweetie ignore people that don't have anything nice to say! I gotta ask though...he was plastered all over the news? Huh? Did you mean here on BL or the news? How did that happen?

Yeah the news news.. like our dinky station.. Whatever... They associated him with something that he hasnt even been arrested for. So stupid.

 

[badandwicked]

If you value your anonimity & privacy LostWife, you should remove some of the info here. I typed your husbands name & your location into Google and the 1st result was the news story, which obviously includes your surname.

 

[BananasAndOranges]

( I suggest you take a good look at how you are talking to people. You ARE coming off rude, callous, inconsiderate and judgmental. None of this is allowed in TDS. Please reread the TDS Guidelines so we can avoid these sorts of derailments of good threads, and potentially damaging posts. Thanks. Ocean)

 

[LostWife]

If you value your anonimity & privacy LostWife, you should remove some of the info here. I typed your husbands name & your location into Google and the 1st result was the news story, which obviously includes your surname.

Oh, good point.. Didn't even think of that... But I think I got em all.. Looks like n3o helped out as well, thanks!

 

[telepathetic]

Gosh, everyone just lay off the guy. If he abuses amphetamines enough he'll want to quit on his own eventually. It doesn't seem like its affecting him too bad (if you say he still treats you like a queen-- thats what matters right?). Maybe get him to know he can tell you, don't try to monitor or control it, just so you know.
I think posting this in TDS might get a bit of bias'd answers. It's 100% not okay that hes hiding it from you, but as far as I can see he's just a bit bored of his life routine, do something with him, take a vacatoin, or
[please do not post unconstructive advice in threads like this - n3o]

@n3ophy7e do you still consider this abuse or can you retaract the warning

 

[telepathetic]

Do NOT listen to yourtman. I'm sure he's still in the love phase of using drugs. Drugs are still filling all the holes in his life and not creating any.

I imagine your husband has been so caught up in deceiving the people around him whilst using drugs that now that people are cluing into it and pulling him up on it he doesn't want to admit to himself that it's all falling apart. Give it some time - til he comes down hard and then he'll have some time to analyze himself and his life without the drugs to warp his perception. I have a friend who lies to me compulsively about all facets of his drug use and has done for a while now - he knows I can see through him but he still does it to avoid the conversations and confrontations that come with honesty in this area.

very true. only holes left. other than psychedelics but i dont have the gahones to even try.