thotsnprayers
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2021
- Messages
- 9
Hey, hey.
Hi.
My brain isn’t very functional right now as I’m on a forced oxy taper, but I’ll try to remember as much as I can. Thank you for your patience.
I’ve known about BL for years, used it as a harm reduction resource. I created this account specifically to get support during my forced taper as I feel like shit. I’m in so much rebound pain I can’t see straight. I’ll take the WDs any day over this rebound pain.
My first introduction to drugs was the wonderful world of benzos. It was the 90’s and Drs would shove them at you like candy. Good times. My first ones were Xanax (lots of Xanax) and Ativan, then klonopin and temazepam. Restoril sex is amazing.
then I started having an affair with a man who introduced me to cocaine, ecstasy, other stuff I don’t remember, and we’d take pressed benzos and vicodin to come down off of whatever we had taken. All this time his wife was in in-patient rehab for booze. After a few panic attacks I abandoned the blow. The ecstasy was too much to handle for my brain chemistry. Got rid of cocaine-man and all his cocaine.
I developed an eating disorder and turned to adderall, Armodafinil and Ritalin to control my appetite. Then some years later I came down with severe chronic pain and was medicated with all kinds of opiates. Last year I spent 9 months on bupe in a chronic pain MAT program, but the bupe made me really depressed so I went back to Dr. Oxy. Now I’m being cut off from my script and forced weaned. Part of me feels like this is what’s best for my health, because my brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be. But going through this sucks balls; if you have any tips I’m all ears and very thankful
(except for weed and kratom, they make me too anxious. No weed. No Kratom). I do have a secret thrill that I’ll be able to dive into my benzos just for funsies again, once the oxy is out of the way.
My comfort meds are Clonidine, Baclofen, Cyclobenzaprine, Gabapentin, Ambien, and a few types of benzos like Xanax and Ativan. I also have a bunch of tramadol if I can’t take it anymore. Most nights are spent awake in pain from the spastic muscles. I can only take a small amount of Clonidine because it lowers my blood pressure too much, and I get super dizzy.
Wanna hear a true story. Happened to me a few months ago. The pharmacy I’ve been using for years fucked up and put someone else’s script in with my own pill bottles. 30 pills of temazapam Yeah baby I won the fuckin lottery
couldn’t believe it. I mean, I don’t even have an active benzo script there. My husband (non-user who has no clue what I just scored) says oh just bring them back. I’m like fuck no they’ll destroy them because they blew the chain of custody, I’ll just flush them down the toilet myself (acting all high and mighty) 
of course I didn’t do that I’m not crazy... They’re in my stash, waiting for when I get off opiates lmao (otoh they may come in handy if the crazy insomnia persists)
I’m a nice person, I really am. Typing all of this out made me wig out a bit. If you made it all the way down here, hey
I like you 
Hi.
My brain isn’t very functional right now as I’m on a forced oxy taper, but I’ll try to remember as much as I can. Thank you for your patience.
I’ve known about BL for years, used it as a harm reduction resource. I created this account specifically to get support during my forced taper as I feel like shit. I’m in so much rebound pain I can’t see straight. I’ll take the WDs any day over this rebound pain.
My first introduction to drugs was the wonderful world of benzos. It was the 90’s and Drs would shove them at you like candy. Good times. My first ones were Xanax (lots of Xanax) and Ativan, then klonopin and temazepam. Restoril sex is amazing.
then I started having an affair with a man who introduced me to cocaine, ecstasy, other stuff I don’t remember, and we’d take pressed benzos and vicodin to come down off of whatever we had taken. All this time his wife was in in-patient rehab for booze. After a few panic attacks I abandoned the blow. The ecstasy was too much to handle for my brain chemistry. Got rid of cocaine-man and all his cocaine.
I developed an eating disorder and turned to adderall, Armodafinil and Ritalin to control my appetite. Then some years later I came down with severe chronic pain and was medicated with all kinds of opiates. Last year I spent 9 months on bupe in a chronic pain MAT program, but the bupe made me really depressed so I went back to Dr. Oxy. Now I’m being cut off from my script and forced weaned. Part of me feels like this is what’s best for my health, because my brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be. But going through this sucks balls; if you have any tips I’m all ears and very thankful
(except for weed and kratom, they make me too anxious. No weed. No Kratom). I do have a secret thrill that I’ll be able to dive into my benzos just for funsies again, once the oxy is out of the way.My comfort meds are Clonidine, Baclofen, Cyclobenzaprine, Gabapentin, Ambien, and a few types of benzos like Xanax and Ativan. I also have a bunch of tramadol if I can’t take it anymore. Most nights are spent awake in pain from the spastic muscles. I can only take a small amount of Clonidine because it lowers my blood pressure too much, and I get super dizzy.
Wanna hear a true story. Happened to me a few months ago. The pharmacy I’ve been using for years fucked up and put someone else’s script in with my own pill bottles. 30 pills of temazapam Yeah baby I won the fuckin lottery
couldn’t believe it. I mean, I don’t even have an active benzo script there. My husband (non-user who has no clue what I just scored) says oh just bring them back. I’m like fuck no they’ll destroy them because they blew the chain of custody, I’ll just flush them down the toilet myself (acting all high and mighty) of course I didn’t do that I’m not crazy... They’re in my stash, waiting for when I get off opiates lmao (otoh they may come in handy if the crazy insomnia persists)I’m a nice person, I really am. Typing all of this out made me wig out a bit. If you made it all the way down here, hey
I like you 
even my asshat pain management Dr. had no clue, I suspect he thought I was trying to get a higher dose of opioids to get high which is stupid bc opioids don’t do it for me at all, I don’t get high from them all I get is pain relief 
in any case, he decided for me so I’m now weaning off the oxy which was my final goal, it’s just happening faster than I wanted (I wanted to do it once I was fully recovered from my surgery but he doesn’t give a shit, he just wants to get rid of all my PCP Dr’s patients)