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Hopeless I can't take it anymore

Mizotlangval

Mizotlangval

Bluelighter
Joined
May 17, 2018
Messages
97
Location
N.E India
I just took 120mg of diazepam.I do nott have a high tolerance to benzos.But the reason I'm doing this I couldn't get my pregabalin .ànd H.I relapsed for a around 2 .weeks. my last H dose was yesterday but I couldn't get anymore as the dealer was busted .I really wish the benzos knock me out .at least for today..fuck LD fuck covid.i somethimea think ios suicide but I'm.not suicidal..I just need my fix so bad
 
Damn.... How long have you been off H? You said you only relapsed for 2 weeks. Has it been a while you've been clean?
 
n3ophy7e said:
How are you feeling today Mizotlangval?
Click to expand...
Im doing fine atm.Yesterday I bought 2 mg bupenorphine in the street.I also bought 20x2mg loperamide. I still have around 1mg bupeI wish I could get more bupe because I need to lay down some tracks (im a musician) .I had to bang the buoe, I k ow it goes against harm reduction And I only got 1mg left.
I maybe able to get some lorazepam but benzo makes my fingers freeze and I'm unable to play the guitar..Im not expecting a full blown withdrawal even cold turkey,but I have to work (record guitar over some tracks)
 
deficiT said:
Damn.... How long have you been off H? You said you only relapsed for 2 weeks. Has it been a while you've been clean?
Click to expand...
ive been on and off..H and bupeb, since Jan this year..I don't have major physical wd symtoms now but I have some works to do (improvise a guitar part over a song) and my gf broke up with me when she heard I'm using bupe to wean off my H w.d ...She haa been very supportive while I was sick but she was mad af when I relapse .But tbh it was only bupe and I needed it to be able to work..I shouldn't have told her about the bupe...
 
I couldn't play a damn thing while I was on the 120mg of diazepam.bad mistake...I wish I can get at least 2 mg buoe today ,so that I can finish my project.
I could probably toughened it out using only benzos but I have to play and couldn't play a riff on benzos .
that's the problem
 
Sounds like you're doing as good as can be expected, and it's great you've got something to keep you distracted (music). Keep it up dude.
 
Fuck it, i decided to postpone my project . I'll be able to get some bupe on Monday.The benzo still fucks up my playing .Bad idea.. I wonder if loperamide can relief this cold chills
 
Mizotlangval said:
I just took 120mg of diazepam.I do nott have a high tolerance to benzos.But the reason I'm doing this I couldn't get my pregabalin .ànd H.I relapsed for a around 2 .weeks. my last H dose was yesterday but I couldn't get anymore as the dealer was busted .I really wish the benzos knock me out .at least for today..fuck LD fuck covid.i somethimea think ios suicide but I'm.not suicidal..I just need my fix so bad
Click to expand...
There is help out there my guy. Don't know anything about India. But just hang in there. If you ever want to talk, Bluelight has a discord server where you are welcome to join and speak with others if you just need to vent.
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