Any Bluelighters out there that regret not having children? Are any of you glad you did (or didn't)? I would be interested in how you came to your decisions.
Really interesting discussion. It's such a personal decision - or potentially not a decision, as it's not just through 'carelessness' that people can find themselves starting a family.
We have two kids. I had them at ages 35 and 39. Husband and I met when I was 24 and we married at 27. We talked about having kids (later, when we were more ready, emotionally/psychologically) and agreed that this was the goal but that we would also be flexible and reassess it later. And that in the end, if one of us changed our minds later, we would still be committed to living together and being a partnership (without kids). What we didn't know, was that all that time we'd been using contraception, we probably didn't need to be, because when we got off the pill, no luck
Tried to conceive for over 3 years, began to prepare for IVF... then got some acupuncture and ended up conceiving naturally, no IVF, phew (as that's a harder road!).
Before kids, husband and I used to go to gigs a lot, clubbing, festivals, etc. Very big and fun weekends were had, around our jobs and study commitments. Having babies (as the woman carrying them) meant no intoxicants for a long time. Breastfeeding meant no drugs! It was a big change, but one thing I noticed was that the body takes care of some of this stuff - and that the high from birthing and breastfeeding that you get naturally is pretty amazing. Oxytocyn!!!
I think the difference between 1 child and 2+ children is a big decision, too. It has absolutely meant more work and more delaying of our own desires for life, but neither of us regret having both 1 then 2 kids. We are, however, committed to no further children, and knowing that every milestone the smaller one reaches is the last time we have to do that, is nice. E.g. we need to toilet train the youngest and there will be a sweet sense of 'good riddance to nappies etc.' when that's done because... no more babies.
Being a parent has taught me a lot. Patience. Selflessness. Having to put off your own needs to meet needs of others. But not forever. Realising you still need to make time to look after yourself, somehow, creatively, so that you can be a good person and parent. You know, they say you should put on your own mask before helping others put on their mask. So, without the kids, I would have undoubtedly pursued more of my own goals, I would have done my research, published more papers, probably would have been a professor or close to it by now. But instead I've got these amazing little people in my life, and they've helped me learn some balance.
And as others have said, just the pure joy of small children can be intoxicating. Even if in the next moment they can be infuriating!
And finally, some folks here have said that they don't want to pass on their genes, that they have propensity for addiction or for health problems. But none of us have perfect genes. And you never really know what your children will inherit. We had kids knowing that I have a genetic connective tissue condition and it turns out both the kids have it too, but it is manageable (they won't be sports stars though!). We also didn't know any of this before the kids were born, but we now know that we have autism in the family and at least one of my kids is autistic. We are a neurodivergent family and we have no regrets about that. Again it's about how can the world accommodate different kinds of people with different bodies and different minds and differing abilities. And this is the kind of world we want, one with diversity of people, not just all the same with 'perfect' genetics. IMHO.
I really feel for those (and anyone reading) that don't have a choice 
