Thought's on the death are very common to me. Sometimes I find death preferable. I am most of the time afraid of living a life filled with pain and social norms that I don't fit in. All the atrocities that I have witnessed (war), corruption and generally "what it means to be a normal person this days"...it all makes me welcome death. If there is something after, ok, if not, ok again cause there will be no I to experience it. I believe I would work more ambitiously towards the body dissolution if I didn't make obligations to life that outweigh my desire for escape, for ending. I have brought another human being into this world and am responsible for not creating deep wounds in him. So till his 25 yo (I see that as a cut off age for human being fully maturing physically) Iwill "choose life". Or so I have chosen, you never know, I could be killed by car or have heart attack tomorrow.
All in all, the way it seems, all atoms in "my body" came from some star. When the dissolution comes in the process all "my atoms" will return to some star. It seems that black (w)holle is inevitable, but there is The Great Who Knows?
If the case is that this is some non sense banging blind energy about with no free will, death is something "I" (wait who?) welcome. No more pain. No more looking at injustice and being unable to rectify it. No more meaningless responsibilities...
If the case that "I" survive in any shape or form "I" welcome the change of that form. I also somehow crave the dissolution...and the changes accompanying it. You could say that I am a sort of believer in that case.
The search for "who/what am/is this "I" have lead me to consider a death the great friend in resolving that obsessive search.
So yeah, I think about it.