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Why do women judge their own looks?

dictionary.cambridge.org

overconfident

1. having or showing too much confidence: 2. having or showing too much…
dictionary.cambridge.org dictionary.cambridge.org

I've known lots of vain and arrogant people who are super confident. Not insecure. Super confident. Too confident. Annoyingly so. Up their own bum bums.
 
But I'm talking about from a sociological viewpoint, not some vague definition. I've known and spent time with insecure women who were superficially confident but insecure on the inside. Would you call them overconfident? I'd say that you were using the wrong terminology, to say the least =)

I say kids are shy because they haven't learned everything yet. Adults are reserved because they've learned how to react socially, so that they can use minimal energy to interact with others. That's all I was saying. I wasn't arguing whether some of them can be insecure or not

Hope that helps
 
It doesn't help. You're splitting hairs. I'm not fond of pedantic arguments. It's pretty easy to read between the lines and see what I mean rather than pulling out the dictionary... but, as far as the pedantry goes, you're wrong.

Gormur said:
Over-confident = insecure. They're self-absorbed and not confident or secure in the least.
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Over confident people are not confident in the least?

That makes no sense.

I'd say that you are using the wrong terminology.
 
It seems that ‘confidence’ or ‘over-confidence’ is an objectively manifest or observable behaviour. You look at someone and because of how they present themselves and you evaluate them to be confident or over-confident accordingly. However, the root cause of that behaviour could be personality or psychological traits that are diametrically opposed. In one person it could be straight out narcissism but in other it could be compensation for extreme anxiety.

I know that I teach tutorials the same super-confident way whether I know the material or not. However, in the latter case it’s a cover for extreme anxiety. In the former, it’s because I think I’m a genius in my field.

Everything is contextual
 
People definitely compensate for lack of confidence by acting super confident, but that's an act. I was referring to people who have an undeserved level of confidence in their looks/abilities. As @Atelier3 said, sometimes this is an act. Sometimes they're not super-confident, they're just pretending to be. When it's an act, that's not over-confidence. It is the illusion of over-confidence.

If you blow smoke up people's ass enough, they will develop a distorted perspective of themselves... That is what I mean by over-confident. Again, this is just pedantry.

Gormur said:
I also think shy is the wrong word to use for women. Women aren't shy like men are. Arguably and in my opinion, both men and women can be reserved. Children tend to be shy though
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I still have no idea what this means. I said I like shy women. Your response is: women aren't shy, but men are; men aren't shy, but children are? I'm done with this back-and-forth. I like shy women. They exist. I like them. This is totally pointless and we're getting off topic.

@Gormur, you said earlier in the thread that you'd never say anything about a woman's appearance... or something like that. I don't get that either. I see a lot of men lie to women and I don't like the implication. Are they not emotionally stable enough to handle the truth?

I don't like gender stereotypes. Treating people according to their race/sex is problematic. "Women aren't shy like men are," falls into this category also.

As usual, I disagree with your perspective. Let's move on.
 
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Atelier3 said:
It seems that ‘confidence’ or ‘over-confidence’ is an objectively manifest or observable behaviour. You look at someone and because of how they present themselves and you evaluate them to be confident or over-confident accordingly. However, the root cause of that behaviour could be personality or psychological traits that are diametrically opposed. In one person it could be straight out narcissism but in other it could be compensation for extreme anxiety.

I know that I teach tutorials the same super-confident way whether I know the material or not. However, in the latter case it’s a cover for extreme anxiety. In the former, it’s because I think I’m a genius in my field.

Everything is contextual
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Exactly. I'm not sure what I said that was unclear but thanks for explaining it clearly, @Atelier3 Now I wonder if the OP will return to tell us what's going on. I want to know if he and this woman were actually dating or just texting
 
Jesus wept, I go off an a b binge & all hell let's loose, good thing I'm wide awake to whip you lot back into shape!!!!

Anyway we had a huge blowout as her BPD did my fackin head in, we made up though & I seduced her with Townes Van Zandt records (See how it's done @mal3volent)

Meant to be meeting up in a couple of weeks in Birmingham (not the hillbilly part of the USA btw) & I'm quite excited tbh, not got laid in some time to say the least.
 
Ah. He's back. He lives! 🤣


Zopiclone bandit said:
I'm quite excited tbh, not got laid in some time to say the least.
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I see we have the makings of a long lasting and loving relationship in the making! :unsure: ❤️ 🤣


I've so badly wanted to get involved on this thread but somehow have managed to restrain myself. But this has to be one of the more PC and WOKE aware threads that I've come across in a very long time (topping CEPS and that's saying something). I've seen some tap dancing in my life but some of the shit here takes the cake.

Anyway. Have fun. :)
 
dalpat077 said:
Ah. He's back. He lives! 🤣



I see we have the makings of a long lasting and loving relationship in the making! :unsure: ❤️ 🤣


I've so badly wanted to get involved on this thread but somehow have managed to restrain myself. But this has to be one of the more PC and WOKE aware threads that I've come across in a very long time (topping CEPS and that's saying something). I've seen some tap dancing in my life but some of the shit here takes the cake.

Anyway. Have fun. :)
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Erm......yeah I'm alive.
Do I know you my friend?
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
Erm......yeah I'm alive.
Do I know you my friend?
Click to expand...
Well you've given me shit once or twice over the past year or so! Dunno if that counts as knowing me? 🤣

I do follow your antics though. :) You're quite the celebrity around these parts (but I'm sure you know that). :)
 
dalpat077 said:
But this has to be one of the more PC and WOKE aware threads that I've come across in a very long time (topping CEPS and that's saying something). I've seen some tap dancing in my life but some of the shit here takes the cake.
Click to expand...

Welcome to the new kinder gentler Sex, Love, and Relationships forum where all the emphasis is on the love baby!
 
Atelier3 said:
Welcome to the new kinder gentler Sex, Love, and Relationships forum where all the emphasis is on the love baby!
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Funny you should mention this. When I saw the "welcome your two new mods" post, a little while ago, for this particular forum I thought "this is gonna be good" and "what a combination"! ❤️ :) 🤣
 
dalpat077 said:
Well you've given me shit once or twice over the past year or so! Dunno if that counts as knowing me? 🤣

I do follow your antics though. :) You're quite the celebrity around these parts (but I'm sure you know that). :)
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Celebrity huh, I'm touched my friend. Now you gonna be a Pete556 alt account OR my long lost Roma gypsy brother my gut says.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
I live in the land of plastic surgery where wealth is the only ticket necessary to access all the surgeries one needs to make themselves “feel” beautiful. In Southern CA, looks and specifically obtaining a tiny waist, while having a big ass, big boobs and long legs, is the goal of most white women, and catching one of these girls is the goal of many men.

It’s interesting that many black women don’t seem to stress about extra weight, likely because their man tells them they look good as they are. I’ve also seen this amongst some Pacific Islanders (Tongans especially) that I’ve known during/since my time on an outrigger canoe team.

My sister and my mom have both had tons of plastic surgery. My mom dated a plastic surgeon for years and were it not for my young age during the years they dated, I, too would have likely had work done.
My sister’s implants feel like immobile half rock orbs when you hug her. Her eyes don’t emote very symmetrically due to a facelift from a few years ago. She even had surgery to have prettier legs.

My mom was like Joan Rivers and if she were alive to see me now, there’d be a list of things she’d like me to have fixed surgically.
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I know women who have had breast implants, plastic surgery, face lifts-like the intense one where I think the jaw is broken and reset and the face is made flat-is this still even done?, botox, nose jobs, etc. it does not look good on them, and all of the work and makeup, filler, high SPF sunscreens, etc. in the world does not get rid of their aging from decades of drinking, smoking tobacco, using uppers/downers and other drugs, eating disorders, and spending as much time as they can tanning in the sun on the beach.

Why do those ladies in and around L.A. want fat asses? I thought being thin or having an ass that is muscular but not fat was desired?



 
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Because men judge them every day.
Males are very visual, so that's what we focus on when it comes to women. Eyes, face, lips, tits, we need something to start wanting the woman, and it's usually some detail about her body. I mean we can all talk about choosing a partner for their character, bla bla bla, but if we don't find her attractive in some way, we can't have sex.

Males judge females wherever they go, and it's easy to be guilty of that, because your body does it all by itself. It's like an instinctive reaction to see if her hips are broad enough to bare children, and if her breasts are big enough to give enough milk. You need to watch and control your eyes in order to not look at a woman's body, that's just how it is (unless you have a serious lack of testosterone)

Women caught on to that, ofc. Being objectified for over 2 millenia
 
December Flower said:
Because men judge them every day.
Males are very visual, so that's what we focus on when it comes to women. Eyes, face, lips, tits, we need something to start wanting the woman, and it's usually some detail about her body. I mean we can all talk about choosing a partner for their character, bla bla bla, but if we don't find her attractive in some way, we can't have sex.

Males judge females wherever they go, and it's easy to be guilty of that, because your body does it all by itself. It's like an instinctive reaction to see if her hips are broad enough to bare children, and if her breasts are big enough to give enough milk. You need to watch and control your eyes in order to not look at a woman's body, that's just how it is (unless you have a serious lack of testosterone)

Women caught on to that, ofc. Being objectified for over 2 millenia
Click to expand...
Hah! I am male and I get objectified by bisexual and gay men. It has been happening for decades starting when I was super young, and when I was a teen I knew what it was. I ignore most of it or just basically tell most of them no thanks as it happens in public places and I am not there to find sexual partners, people to date, etc. Or when it would happen in LGB/gay bars and dance clubs I was polite and took it as a compliment but I did not like this desperation as back when I still drank alcohol and used drugs and went to bars, pubs, and clubs 99% of the time I was there just to hang out with friends and get super drunk and not hook up, find someone to date, etc.

A lipstick friend that is hyper-effeminate and a part time drag queen likes wearing slutty visible underclothes like thongs, jockstraps, g-strings, etc. under his preppie clothes and has NO SHAME about being totally and completely passiv/bottom and in his words he once told me, 'I love to take on the feminine role in bed sexually with a man, and in a partnership/marriage as I would be the relationship partner that is domestic, cooks, cleans the home, etc. while the other man works.'

 
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