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What’s the point

Damn buddy, that is a lot to go through and I'm really sorry you're feeling like people don't care or people don't like you. Bluelight is home to a lot of fucked up people, but the thing is we all (for the most part), leave the judgement at the door and try to have love for one another.

To me it sounds like you're going through some serious depression, have you tried antidepressants other than Wellbutrin? Your depression might be helped by different medicines.

I will reiterate what everyone else said, and say that you can't blame yourself for your parents behavior.

Seek out a therapist if you don't have one man. You have gone through a lot, and might find some benefit with it. It sucks to see you hurting like this, and I for one don't have anything against you, so I hope you don't think that I do.
 
Nah I’m not taking antidepressants or psychs. I’ll figure a way to be happy even if it’s off Bluelight
deficiT said:
Damn buddy, that is a lot to go through and I'm really sorry you're feeling like people don't care or people don't like you. Bluelight is home to a lot of fucked up people, but the thing is we all (for the most part), leave the judgement at the door and try to have love for one another.

To me it sounds like you're going through some serious depression, have you tried antidepressants other than Wellbutrin? Your depression might be helped by different medicines.

I will reiterate what everyone else said, and say that you can't blame yourself for your parents behavior.

Seek out a therapist if you don't have one man. You have gone through a lot, and might find some benefit with it. It sucks to see you hurting like this, and I for one don't have anything against you, so I hope you don't think that I do.
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I won't quote too many Bible verses, but a recurring theme is that difficult times are meant to shape the saved. One of the more apt verses:

Romans 5:3: And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

We see this with Job, recurring in Judges (to force repentence), Lazarus the begger, Jesus himself, etc. Although it really sucks to experience and sounds like you've been dealt a difficult hand.

Also having problems and knowing you're flawed is in many ways beneficial. It makes it easier to see the need for the Lord as opposed to people who think they are "pretty good people" and have no faith. It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2:17).

FuneralFather said:
Because what good that comes from me is Christ driven. Funeral Father is a POS and because it is part my responsibility.
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Yep, that's definitely part of it but also make sure not to beat yourself up too much. Even the apostles regularly sinned, questioned their own moral state, and were rebuked often.

I always found the story of when Jesus hands the bread (sop) to Judas somewhat funny and encouraging (John 13). He explicitly says that whoever He hands the bread to is a devil who will betray Him -- then gives it to Judas. The other apostles though are worried that it's actually them He's talking about, completely ignoring the obvious. They were that concerned about their sinfulness they missed the obvious meaning. If even the apostles had that level of doubt it's expected that every Christian will struggle.

Good luck in your walk through life, and definitely feel free to DM if you ever want to chat Bible stuff.
 
quaalMan said:
I won't quote too many Bible verses, but a recurring theme is that difficult times are meant to shape the saved. One of the more apt verses:

Romans 5:3: And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

We see this with Job, recurring in Judges (to force repentence), Lazarus the begger, Jesus himself, etc. Although it really sucks to experience and sounds like you've been dealt a difficult hand.

Also having problems and knowing you're flawed is in many ways beneficial. It makes it easier to see the need for the Lord as opposed to people who think they are "pretty good people" and have no faith. It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2:17).



Yep, that's definitely part of it but also make sure not to beat yourself up too much. Even the apostles regularly sinned, questioned their own moral state, and were rebuked often.

I always found the story of when Jesus hands the bread (sop) to Judas somewhat funny and encouraging (John 13). He explicitly says that whoever He hands the bread to is a devil who will betray Him -- then gives it to Judas. The other apostles though are worried that it's actually them He's talking about, completely ignoring the obvious. They were that concerned about their sinfulness they missed the obvious meaning. If even the apostles had that level of doubt it's expected that every Christian will struggle.

Good luck in your walk through life, and definitely feel free to DM if you ever want to chat Bible stuff.
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Love to just dm me on way to work on car today so I can leave without breaking promises
 
Dear FuneralFather,
I don’t post much but your posts really moved me. Just remember this: God forgives you for everything, no matter what. If you can’t forgive yourself then you are saying you are more powerful than God. Jesus is in everyone and you are valued and loved. Please DM me if you ever need to talk. I’m an older woman who fights depression and anxiety everyday. But my faith always gets me through.👍🏻🙏🏻🥰
 
Phantasia said:
Dear FuneralFather,
I don’t post much but your posts really moved me. Just remember this: God forgives you for everything, no matter what. If you can’t forgive yourself then you are saying you are more powerful than God. Jesus is in everyone and you are valued and loved. Please DM me if you ever need to talk. I’m an older woman who fights depression and anxiety everyday. But my faith always gets me through.👍🏻🙏🏻🥰
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Why. I’m a POS. Why extend grace to that. I am no where near more powerful then God. But I understand that if I do something so many times I’m not sorry I just don’t wanna be punished. God don’t owe me forgiveness just because he sent His son to save my soul. And he definitely don’t like who I am right now. That’s for sure.
 
Phantasia said:
Dear FuneralFather,
I don’t post much but your posts really moved me. Just remember this: God forgives you for everything, no matter what. If you can’t forgive yourself then you are saying you are more powerful than God. Jesus is in everyone and you are valued and loved. Please DM me if you ever need to talk. I’m an older woman who fights depression and anxiety everyday. But my faith always gets me through.👍🏻🙏🏻🥰
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But I’ll dm cause we all need a friend
 
FuneralFather said:
Why. I’m a POS. Why extend grace to that. I am no where near more powerful then God. But I understand that if I do something so many times I’m not sorry I just don’t wanna be punished. God don’t owe me forgiveness just because he sent His son to save my soul. And he definitely don’t like who I am right now. That’s for sure.
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Stop right there mister! You. Are. Not. A. POS. I promise, ask for forgiveness with all your heart and you will be free! Free from sin! What a great gift, and it’s free! We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. But we all have many positives. For some reason humans like to focus on the negative. Do me a favor: can you post one thing you like about yourself? It can even be something like, “I have great eyebrows”. Just one positive thing please
 
Phantasia said:
Stop right there mister! You. Are. Not. A. POS. I promise, ask for forgiveness with all your heart and you will be free! Free from sin! What a great gift, and it’s free! We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. But we all have many positives. For some reason humans like to focus on the negative. Do me a favor: can you post one thing you like about yourself? It can even be something like, “I have great eyebrows”. Just one positive thing please
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I’m sorry I can’t find anything and I’m not even trying to reduce what you are doing for me but I can’t.
 
That’s okay! Maybe something will pop into your mind later. Is the weather decent where you live? Can you walk, bike or run outside? I plan on doing a 15 mile run soon and it makes me feel amazing.
 
Phantasia said:
That’s okay! Maybe something will pop into your mind later. Is the weather decent where you live? Can you walk, bike or run outside? I plan on doing a 15 mile run soon and it makes me feel amazing.
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15 miles! Wow no i am going to work out and do some push ups. Wet outside and I’m dealing with a breakup and move I’m still living with ex, I’m waiting for some legal documents but things keep going south Everytime I pray to God to reveal so it’s best I keep on with what I feel is His plan even though where He is putting me don’t look much brighter even though it’s called the sunshine state
 
Sigh, I wish I could do push-ups. I’ve been really hesitant to go back to the gym but I got to get the upper body work going again. Working out with a mask has stopped me from going.
Breakups suck but just be polite and avoid her as much as possible. One day you’ll look back on this time and laugh. It will be so nice when you are free.
 
Phantasia said:
Sigh, I wish I could do push-ups. I’ve been really hesitant to go back to the gym but I got to get the upper body work going again. Working out with a mask has stopped me from going.
Breakups suck but just be polite and avoid her as much as possible. One day you’ll look back on this time and laugh. It will be so nice when you are free.
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Yeah I hope to remain of good faith cause it’s a long drive and that’s a lotta time off my phone with only one thing to think about. But it’s Gods calling. He’s blessed me with a newer car to make it there, a new state where I can use what I’ve learned here to pick better friends. I just worry cause it’s totally not my home these mountains are I’m not a beach boy i don’t think
 
You can be both a mountain boy and a beach boy. Take trips to the mountains. In July I plan on going to Telescope Peak in Death Valley and climbing that MF in record time.
 
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