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Mental Health Emotional torment

So I was extremely drunk again last night sorry. He is still suicidal every morning after crashing and says he's gonna throw himself in front of traffic, hits himself etc because he still owes money (65now). The 40 I gave him he spent twenty on white and gave the other twenty to the guy he owes. That's me out of pocket again for no good reason. I have a vague memory of him punching me really fucking hard on the side of my temple as well and it's still sore today. Man my life is a mess. Suppose just need to go with it atm as not strong enough just now to do anything about it.
 
You should find a way. A way right now to leave this situation. This is not healthy for you.
Or helping him actually.

You will be fine. And save up some energy to be healthy and just go. Away to a better environment and for a better life. It will feel so much better to feel healthy and much better instead.

Okay. Just try to be as strong as possible to change ! And to feel better. ☺
If it is always this way for you it might just be difficult to understand. Change can be so much better. Learning to be healthy can do that for you.

There might be a point and time in your life where you just aren't going to want to be around this or like this anymore. <3

Be free. Be you. Be healthier and happier and be that change !! You are a bigger stronger person than that. ☄
 
Yeah totally. It's a disaster for both of us. Thing is it wasn't always this way, there was happier times. But I think he has an undiagnosed mental health disorder that
needs treated but I am not a doctor, and no matter how many times I try encouraging him to seek help, even phoning to book him a phone appointment, he just won't do it.
Frustrating to say the least. And when I try to arrange for him to go to his own place even for a break he says he will just kill himself and hopes I will be happy then. Yep it's fucked.
 
Not strong enough, she says. I bet ya can whoop his ass if ya wanted. I mean, those with the "bully" mentality rarely know what to do when someone strikes back. I have seen it many times and experienced it more than a few times. They do not have to lern how to fisty-cuffs as they learn to mentally beat someone down before they start with the physical abuse.
Can't tell ya what to do or how to feel... we all know this, right? I get that you love this guy. Love is not as fragile as some would think or expect. It definitely endures through some very "troublesome" times. Eventually, being malnourished, hungry and in need of "life"; "love" will seek out nourishment and find it in many places we did not/do not expect it.
See if ya can squirrel away a little cash once in a while: Having a /toe-hold (however minute) gives us a little self-confidence to see a shift in our reality or situation while we are here. I think there is a place of "happiness" for everyone but do not know what that is... so get busy and figure out what will be your "spot"? Again, from experience, if we can see ourselves somewhere it is not impossible to find a way to get there. Some places take more effort to reach than others but may "pay-off" a little more.
And the risks... cannot forget that aspect, right? Is it worth the effort? Sorry if it has been posted but are there any chirrens around? Are the yours (maternally, adopted or "found")? Any base of support? BL is and has been a valuable asset in providing insights, options and a sense of a support-base (HQ? haha) being "on call" 24 hours a day. Not promoting - I don't think - just giving a perspective and thoughts on my experiences with loving/living the life of malnourished "love".
Love
 
6am-64-14m said:
Not strong enough, she says. I bet ya can whoop his ass if ya wanted. I mean, those with the "bully" mentality rarely know what to do when someone strikes back. I have seen it many times and experienced it more than a few times. They do not have to lern how to fisty-cuffs as they learn to mentally beat someone down before they start with the physical abuse.
Can't tell ya what to do or how to feel... we all know this, right? I get that you love this guy. Love is not as fragile as some would think or expect. It definitely endures through some very "troublesome" times. Eventually, being malnourished, hungry and in need of "life"; "love" will seek out nourishment and find it in many places we did not/do not expect it.
See if ya can squirrel away a little cash once in a while: Having a /toe-hold (however minute) gives us a little self-confidence to see a shift in our reality or situation while we are here. I think there is a place of "happiness" for everyone but do not know what that is... so get busy and figure out what will be your "spot"? Again, from experience, if we can see ourselves somewhere it is not impossible to find a way to get there. Some places take more effort to reach than others but may "pay-off" a little more.
And the risks... cannot forget that aspect, right? Is it worth the effort? Sorry if it has been posted but are there any chirrens around? Are the yours (maternally, adopted or "found")? Any base of support? BL is and has been a valuable asset in providing insights, options and a sense of a support-base (HQ? haha) being "on call" 24 hours a day. Not promoting - I don't think - just giving a perspective and thoughts on my experiences with loving/living the life of malnourished "love".
Love
Click to expand...

Yeah I have slapped him before back and I could technically arrange a doing but if I would hate myself more, be filled with regret and feel worse and I don't want to hurt him as I love him just wish he felt the same.
I have problems myself which I'm dealing with for years now experienced some trauma as a kid (not as bad as some though thankfully) and I am an alcoholic. I got off it last year but began slowly slipping back in to old habits and by the time covid hit that was me drinking again heavily. I get dt's but I am getting my assessment for my detox next week! Which is both positive but quite scary amongst the mess, I just know that no matter how hard it gets I'll try my best not to go back, planning on replacing it with walking loads whenever I have cravings to regain some fitness and health and make edibles. Thankfully there are no kids involved here in this mess thank god.
 
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