Oxyonthemind87
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2021
- Messages
- 41
Hi all I am new member to this site I’ll call myself Allen as my alias, thank you for allowing me to be part of the community. although this site always given me great info I can never find anywhere else I have never commented and I felt like it was time!
Quick background. I’m a full blow oxy addict who also is in a suboxone outpatient program. I had been doing really well with the subs but covid-19 and losing my job, new house, wife etc just got too stressful.
My tolerance for oxy is obviously not what it once was 4 years ago when I met my dealer for the first time, but I still just love it. I do a thing where I go on binges. I’ll do up to 8-9 30mg oxys a day along with my Valium I’m prescribed and recently added 30mg ir adderall to the mix just to dull the stress and the adderall gives me some euphoria , I used to just need 3 oxys to get that euphoric feeling without needing other meds to help get there. I usually pick up 30 30mg oxys, 15-20 extra stronger 10mg Valium and 5 addies. That’s like my 4-5 day thing and around $1200, plus my drive time to Oakland from the north bay which is 2 hours plus round trip . The price now for legit oxys is insane. I’m paying 40 dollars per at times before stuff tightened up I was paying 22 per and obviously it’s not sustainable. Worst is NOBODY in my family, even my wife know I’m on suboxone in the first place or that I have this nasty habit on the side. I hold down a job, am pretty good at acting normal like all is good but it gets so EXHAUSTING just pretending I’m all good. I’ll sometimes get in bad moods etc from knowing I’m about to run out of oxy and I need to start the process of slowly getting on subs and then going back down. it’s just inevitable someone will find out.. this is the first time I HAVE EVER been able to write this to people so that feels good, but I guess I’m just looking to start a discussion and see if others might be in similar situations or can commiserate?
Quick background. I’m a full blow oxy addict who also is in a suboxone outpatient program. I had been doing really well with the subs but covid-19 and losing my job, new house, wife etc just got too stressful.
My tolerance for oxy is obviously not what it once was 4 years ago when I met my dealer for the first time, but I still just love it. I do a thing where I go on binges. I’ll do up to 8-9 30mg oxys a day along with my Valium I’m prescribed and recently added 30mg ir adderall to the mix just to dull the stress and the adderall gives me some euphoria , I used to just need 3 oxys to get that euphoric feeling without needing other meds to help get there. I usually pick up 30 30mg oxys, 15-20 extra stronger 10mg Valium and 5 addies. That’s like my 4-5 day thing and around $1200, plus my drive time to Oakland from the north bay which is 2 hours plus round trip . The price now for legit oxys is insane. I’m paying 40 dollars per at times before stuff tightened up I was paying 22 per and obviously it’s not sustainable. Worst is NOBODY in my family, even my wife know I’m on suboxone in the first place or that I have this nasty habit on the side. I hold down a job, am pretty good at acting normal like all is good but it gets so EXHAUSTING just pretending I’m all good. I’ll sometimes get in bad moods etc from knowing I’m about to run out of oxy and I need to start the process of slowly getting on subs and then going back down. it’s just inevitable someone will find out.. this is the first time I HAVE EVER been able to write this to people so that feels good, but I guess I’m just looking to start a discussion and see if others might be in similar situations or can commiserate?