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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I don’t get you youngsters being paranoid about how much time you spend on here. What’s the harm? I’m gonna go meta and say it’s only a problem if you make it a problem... you could just be chill and do you. Nobody should be worried about their image on here either- we’re all effed up and say and do stupid crap on the regular, it’s not just yous. We’re an accepting lot aren’t we? We seem to know when someone is experiencing something that is effing up their judgment and put it down to that- if you’re gonna be on a forum with junkies you have to expect stupid, drunk, high, manic, depressive, anxious, paranoid, delusional etc. posts. It’s all good. We’re all human (trash).
 
Sirena Oscura said:
I don’t get you youngsters being paranoid about how much time you spend on here. What’s the harm? I’m gonna go meta and say it’s only a problem if you make it a problem... you could just be chill and do you. Nobody should be worried about their image on here either- we’re all effed up and say and do stupid crap on the regular, it’s not just yous. We’re an accepting lot aren’t we? We seem to know when someone is experiencing something that is effing up their judgment and put it down to that- if you’re gonna be on a forum with junkies you have to expect stupid, drunk, high, manic, depressive, anxious, paranoid, delusional etc. posts. It’s all good. We’re all human (trash).
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Sirena Oscura said:
I don’t get you youngsters being paranoid about how much time you spend on here. What’s the harm? I’m gonna go meta and say it’s only a problem if you make it a problem... you could just be chill and do you. Nobody should be worried about their image on here either- we’re all effed up and say and do stupid crap on the regular, it’s not just yous. We’re an accepting lot aren’t we? We seem to know when someone is experiencing something that is effing up their judgment and put it down to that- if you’re gonna be on a forum with junkies you have to expect stupid, drunk, high, manic, depressive, anxious, paranoid, delusional etc. posts. It’s all good. We’re all human (trash).
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true...
but if they dont have a bellybutton
could be a clone
 
Sirena Oscura said:
I don’t get you youngsters being paranoid about how much time you spend on here. What’s the harm? I’m gonna go meta and say it’s only a problem if you make it a problem... you could just be chill and do you. Nobody should be worried about their image on here either- we’re all effed up and say and do stupid crap on the regular, it’s not just yous. We’re an accepting lot aren’t we? We seem to know when someone is experiencing something that is effing up their judgment and put it down to that- if you’re gonna be on a forum with junkies you have to expect stupid, drunk, high, manic, depressive, anxious, paranoid, delusional etc. posts. It’s all good. We’re all human (trash).
Click to expand...
could easily be probloematic if it devours so much time that people don't attend properly to irl issues, no?

there are plenty of scenario's where internet useage can be unhealthy and/or problematic - people often need less screentime in general
 
I dunno man, I’m not one to talk, procrastinating IRL shit is a constant with me. If it’s not this it’s something else. The forum isn’t the problem, it’s the mind and procrastination.
 
schizopath said:
Yeah, yeah. This is maybe the tenth time my narcissistic streak has gotten hold of me. Bluelight is my first social media and its also my biggest fix at this point. There is no other way.
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you didn't do nuffin WRONG. what.
 
schizopath said:
Exactly, double negative is positive. I also said if I ever cause drama again I ll be quitting and my real life aint close to the point of what it should be at 26.
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i love the way you articulate anyway. you are harvard stanford articulate. yes, bb.
 
and Netflix worthy
b2YMnQh.jpg
 
I slept / cried the whole day yesterday. I managed to use Mindfulness techniques and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy tricks to remember that’s it’s largely stim withdrawal after a big bender. However, it’s clear I’ve got unresolved trauma or unhappiness aplenty to fuel this level of emotional disregulation.

I know my psychiatrist will load me up on soul destroying antipsychotics if I go to him. And I’m sure I’ve told my counsellors and psychologists everything there is to tell.

It all seems rooted in loneliness and an inability to connect meaningfully with people over longer periods of time. I just can’t sustain connections with people and don’t understand why. Even within my own family.

Parts of BL help but then the other triggery parts help bring me all undone all over again.

I’m fucked. Doomed and too tired to think about some new potential strategy to improve my life. I made half a century and achieved quite a bit. Maybe that’s as good as it gets.
 
Atelier3 said:
I slept / cried the whole day yesterday. I managed to use Mindfulness techniques and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy tricks to remember that’s it’s largely stim withdrawal after a big bender. However, it’s clear I’ve got unresolved trauma or unhappiness aplenty to fuel this level of emotional disregulation.

I know my psychiatrist will load me up on soul destroying antipsychotics if I go to him. And I’m sure I’ve told my counsellors and psychologists everything there is to tell.

It all seems rooted in loneliness and an inability to connect meaningfully with people over longer periods of time. I just can’t sustain connections with people and don’t understand why. Even within my own family.

Parts of BL help but then the other triggery parts help bring me all undone all over again.

I’m fucked. Doomed and too tired to think about some new potential strategy to improve my life. I made half a century and achieved quite a bit. Maybe that’s as good as it gets.
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Dude we're very similar im several regards.

That's why i initially PMed you, way back.

I won't knock meds, because they work for me, but some things just need to be addressed right up front.

Like loneliness.

You're not fucked man we're constantly adapting and potentially improving.
 
Hylight said:
at least you CAN post. what kind of phone app. do you use almighty one ?

before you step, with all due respect !

i can barely post but you have the majic power.

And please schizopath, don't be so modest.
no pun intended. I am trying to be appropriate in a serious thread. I just try so hard and still want to.
You are always a friend and in my heart too. And always will be. Please try not to leave if you want.
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madness00 said:
Dude we're very similar im several regards.

That's why i initially PMed you, way back.

I won't knock meds, because they work for me, but some things just need to be addressed right up front.

Like loneliness.

You're not fucked man we're constantly adapting and potentially improving.
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Thanks man - I often think about how bad you wanted that meth when you were on probation and then nixed it when you finally had the chance to do what you want.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
could easily be probloematic if it devours so much time that people don't attend properly to irl issues, no?

there are plenty of scenario's where internet useage can be unhealthy and/or problematic - people often need less screentime in general
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Bluelight Was my life. Literally. It Was my stage and my safety net. But IT NEEDED to end in ruins. I Cant unsee my gender and sexuality anymore. NEDM NEDM
 
Update: The new stuff I sent in was so good that he's still in custody! They were only 2 hours from letting him go when they got the new evidence. This is starting to feel like a movie plot lol. Trial might be in january. All the ups and downs is exhausting. PTSD is getting worse. Hopefully soon it will all be over.
 
I’m starting to have constantly ruminating obsessive kind of thinking again. The kind where I second guess all my previous life choices and make lists of all the people who ended up as collateral damage when my mania has exploded over the years. This is the mindset my Psych put me on Abilify for. I would not be here today if I’d stayed on that stuff and not totally wigged out a year ago.
 
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