Want to blow my brains out!

[wudbutcher]

@ Wudbutcher
Off topic, i'd rather hear OP tell some more about why.....!!!
I dont catch your drift.

Never mind, just a compliment on your story. I’m lost like last years Easter Eggs lmao.

 

[JimmyJamesJim]

Me thinks that a subconscious desire not to die is the reason to advertise it.

I am genuinely curious about whether or not you read all the sentences I communicated with, not just the one that you attempted to apply snark to. However, I do love snarky banter.

".....subconscious desire not to die is the reason to advertise it." The desire COMES from the subconscious, if you're alluding to the uncontrollable variety, because you cannot have a "subconscious desire not to die". You can, however, have a desire to live, and if you do, then, as I asked in my original, "who are you taking the life of?". Since you work in this arena, I'm sure you'll consider the fact that when someone says that they want to blow their brains out isn't always in pain, nor a "dark place". "Pain is the touchstone of growth"

 

[wudbutcher]

Don’t mind this cat, already filed this to the idiot box imhop

 

[wudbutcher]

Unless.... methinks this is Flower. Starting over as Jimmmy James Jim

 

[JimmyJamesJim]

Don’t mind this cat, already filed this to the idiot box imhop

Agreed, don't mind the cat that always smiles a little more when he reads words from people that LOVE the fact that their monitor doubles as a shield. The things little guys say that they'd never say face to face. You "cats" are adorable. And that list??? OMG......you're somethin special.

 

[December Flower]

@JimmyJamesJim No reason to take it lightly, ever. I read your post and you brought it to a case of "if" the user is really suicidal. You can never assume there's an "if". It's just experience. Once you underestimate depression, it might be too late fast

edit: Also, sorry but no subconsciousness ever is suicidal. The subconsciousness is like a ridiculously fast-running program that has the task of keeping you alive. You can not perceive your subconsciousness, not in "thoughts". The fact alone that they're called "suicidal THOUGHTS" means they can't stem from the subconsciousness, but from surface thoughts/feelings.

 

[December Flower]

Don’t mind this cat, already filed this to the idiot box imhop

Stop the presses
Call the fire brigade
A therapist that wants to help people

And you despise me for that, and keep harrassing me, that's your choice.
Honestly: I wanted to help you in your own thread. I gave only a bunch of information, you could have just skipped and said "knew that already"
Who would give a fuck? But NO you got to make SUCH a drama out of it that I wanted to HELP you - HOW please tell me HOW could I?! I'm a monster.

edit: I've already helped a bunch of people here with different infos, and I'm not going to stop because your ego is out of whack, or because you're going to hound my posts from now on.

 

[birdup.snaildown]

You can always maul someone so bad you get some time. Kinda my style. Each time I did time I came out clean and strong.

That's got to be the worst advice I've ever seen. Please don't severely injure people for any reason. If you need to go to jail, steal a car or something.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

Stealing a car? That is class 3 felony here and I believe its no longer probational here. Meaning he will see the inside of a prison. Not get help. And having a grand theft auto on your record is really going to be good.

Walking up to someone and knocking them the fuck out (someone you don't like) isn't going to get you any real time. A few weeks at most. But it will get you a case, and into the system. And then can get free anger management, along with all kinds of treatment.

Some people on here are just fucking retarded. Yeah, this guy is suicidal and turning him into a felon is the answer LOL.

 

[birdup.snaildown]

Stealing a car? That is class 3 felony here and I believe its no longer probational here. Meaning he will see the inside of a prison. Not get help. And having a grand theft auto on your record is really going to be good.

Walking up to someone and knocking them the fuck out (someone you don't like) isn't going to get you any real time. A few weeks at most. But it will get you a case, and into the system. And then can get free anger management, along with all kinds of treatment.

Some people on here are just fucking retarded. Yeah, this guy is suicidal and turning him into a felon is the answer LOL.

Wow. Just wow. I'm not familiar with US prison sentences. For the record, I don't think people should steal cars or "maul people" so badly they get locked away, but at least if you steal a car or commit some other offense you aren't hurting someone.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

But you are a thief. And you will never get a job again.

Nobody cares what you think. You are from NZ. Irrelevant

 

[birdup.snaildown]

But, we've got lots of sheep!

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

But literally if someone is suicidal there is something churning away at them so bad they want to hurt themselves. Getting hammered and into a brawl is probably the best cure. Then he will sit in jail for a few days or weeks (depending how crazy he got). Get help, treatment, evaluated, etc. Its unlikely you would even get a case. More so mental help.

 

[birdup.snaildown]

I'm going to assume at this point that you're not a psychiatrist.

 

[Zephyn]

When people cry for help and attention... It's cause they need it.

In my case, due to a particularly toxic polyamorous situation, where i played some part but was not solely responsible for the situation and traumatized myself, most of my community was convinced my pleas for help near suicide were attempts to manipulate. I was shunned, and made two failed suicide attempts. I've learned to keep my pain inside and to myself. Tough when it feels like everyone wants you to die. Takes immense strength. Maybe I'll post here next time.


To the OP: unless you are facing impending torture like life in prison, there are so many opportunities ahead of you. You can be a completely different person with new circumstances in just a few years. If your addictions are making you feel worse, as mine did, try to stop the hard drugs and if you can get into a dual diagnosis rehab. If you are in the USA and If you have no private insurance, you can always move to a new state to "fake" (in this case if you actually move its not fake or fraud) a life qualifying event and sign up for an insurance policy that would cover the rehab for pretty cheap under Obama care, maybe $200 bucks, and in certain states such as Florida there are "angel of mercy" laws that prevent them from collecting any deductible no matter how large, and also prevent them from contacting the credit bureau and billing you with debt. Some of them are HR based and non-12 step and don't force total abstinence down your throat through some religious program, and the dual diagnosis facilities tend to addrrss root issues, self forgiveness,, and trauma,, rather than treating you ad an addict. If you are from Europe, its probably much easier. Otherwise, im not sure what advice to give other than to taper off drugs and maybe go on a month long camping trip. As someone who struggles with suicidal ideation, drugs make it much worse. A therapist can help you forgive yourself. I can recommend trying some ketamine to get out of your funk. 2005 was a long time ago, and if you are reflecting on your mistakes you are obviously a good human that we need here on earth, most of these fuckere have no conscious whatsoever SOBER, don't let your decisions on powerful toxic hard drugs determine your worth as a person. Feel free to PM me.

Also, seriously try ketamine. Its not overhyped. It will help.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

I'm going to assume at this point that you're not a psychiatrist.

Of course I'm not a psychiatrist. But do know the best way to get help. It's called going manic on the state. You will get help that night.

 

[wudbutcher]

Best way to get help is to be a productive member of society with a job with benefits and go thru the system. How many times do you save a non swimmer who keeps jumping back in?
Sonic, one of the symptoms of addiction is terminal uniqueness. I’ve read some of your posts, seem very compassionate and helpful. If God can forgive others, as you’ve stated, then can forgive you. And does, on the daily. Accept that your inner voice is biased and oppressive towards your happiness, for whatever reason. Why doesnt matter. Brain is just another vital organ; science hasn’t yet figured out how to transplant or re build yet.
It serves you, doesn’t define you. Isn’t you. So you fed the wrong wolf for a while, gonna take time to starve him out. Get up, do the right thing, then the next, as they present themselves. Good feelings will come, albeit slowly. We tend to only appreciate what’s earned, squander or abuse the easy.
Breathe

 

[Zephyn]

Of course I'm not a psychiatrist. But do know the best way to get help. It's called going manic on the state. You will get help that night.

You mean flipping out in an ER ? Sure you will be locked up and prevented from harming yourself, and it might save you from a snow storm or blizzard, but they really won't help. They will give you some unhelpful drugs and discharge you to the door 72 hours later, with very very little to (usually) no therapy.. Depending on where you at, some help a *little* bit more.

 

[AutoTripper]

That's got to be the worst advice I've ever seen. Please don't severely injure people for any reason. If you need to go to jail, steal a car or something.

Or buy a thousand trips and walk backwards and forewards in front of the Poluce Station for days just....holding them openly in your hand.