High, I’m Gigi 💙

[Gigi.lexii]

Hii everyone! I’m Gigi. I’m 28 and from Canada. I’m a part-time Psyc student and passionate about music. ❤
I’ve looked for a community like this for a few reasons:

I finished ~7 months of Suboxone and promptly relapsed on Xanax and H. (I was always more into oxy&morph, but they’re more scarce here than ever.)

During recovery, I cut ties with almost every friend I had, as basically everyone I knew used drugs. Now I’m pretty alone, and Covid doesn’t help, and I’m using anyways. So that was dumb.

Lastly, I found out my boyfriend never actually recovered 8 months ago. He hid using H (etc) the whole time, and I’m really struggling with fearing for him... and just... being so distant from him.

Basically, I’ve had nobody to talk to about anything drug related. I’m hoping a community like this can help me feel less alone lol.. as lame and pathetic as that honestly sounds.

Sorry for the long first post! Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for taking me in, Bluelight

 

[bongdong]

Hello Gigi, welcome.
It can be really grim and lonely in the "drug-closet" indeed, and it's totally unnecessary. As far as i know, there never was and is a completely sober culture, so judging yourself or get stigmatized by others (for whatever reasons) is just nasty. Don't think you'll have to face that here on BL though, so ..good news. On the other hand, changing your environment that promotes use when you actually want to kick a drug habit is not the worst idea, i think. What kind of music do you like?

Have a good one.

 

[Slater Says]

Tough situation. I never really struggled with opiates but I can certainly understand the difficulty in getting clean. Been through more than a couple recovery attempts and programs.

From what I can see opiates are very hard to get off and stay off. (Oops, rereading this I guess you can say that about many things including alcohol which can also kill you I better stop talking now.)

Wish you the best lots of folks been through the battle with them here who might be able to offer more than I can. This is a harm reduction community so it's not lame that you want to talk to people you can relate to as harmful use isn't encouraged as far as I'm aware. (Doh, rereading that I was trying to make you feel better but my logic slipped and I started going off on a tangent plus I can't make anyone feel better if I can't help myself plus I feel super lame with this username choice I was in very stupid mood and want to change it but cannot.)

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hii everyone! I’m Gigi. I’m 28 and from Canada. I’m a part-time Psyc student and passionate about music. ❤
I’ve looked for a community like this for a few reasons:

I finished ~7 months of Suboxone and promptly relapsed on Xanax and H. (I was always more into oxy&morph, but they’re more scarce here than ever.)

During recovery, I cut ties with almost every friend I had, as basically everyone I knew used drugs. Now I’m pretty alone, and Covid doesn’t help, and I’m using anyways. So that was dumb.

Lastly, I found out my boyfriend never actually recovered 8 months ago. He hid using H (etc) the whole time, and I’m really struggling with fearing for him... and just... being so distant from him.

Basically, I’ve had nobody to talk to about anything drug related. I’m hoping a community like this can help me feel less alone lol.. as lame and pathetic as that honestly sounds.

Sorry for the long first post! Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for taking me in, Bluelight

Good morning @Gigi.lexii

Not lame nor pathetic to want the company.

Welcome to Bluelight!

 

[Ds]

Hi @Gigi.lexii
Welcome to Bluelight

 

[Gigi.lexii]

Hello Gigi, welcome.
It can be really grim and lonely in the "drug-closet" indeed, and it's totally unnecessary. As far as i know, there never was and is a completely sober culture, so judging yourself or get stigmatized by others (for whatever reasons) is just nasty. Don't think you'll have to face that here on BL though, so ..good news. On the other hand, changing your environment that promotes use when you actually want to kick a drug habit is not the worst idea, i think. What kind of music do you like?

Have a good one.

Hii, thank you for your post I fully agree about the “drug-closet”, and the harshness of being judged/stigmatized. I’m so grateful for what I’m seeing on BL already, and for your kindness

I really love indie/alternative, classic rock... with a special place for hip hop lol! Music makes me feel so much better. What about you, what kind do you like?

 

[Gigi.lexii]

Tough situation. I never really struggled with opiates but I can certainly understand the difficulty in getting clean. Been through more than a couple recovery attempts and programs.

From what I can see opiates are very hard to get off and stay off. (Oops, rereading this I guess you can say that about many things including alcohol which can also kill you I better stop talking now.)

Wish you the best lots of folks been through the battle with them here who might be able to offer more than I can. This is a harm reduction community so it's not lame that you want to talk to people you can relate to as harmful use isn't encouraged as far as I'm aware. (Doh, rereading that I was trying to make you feel better but my logic slipped and I started going off on a tangent plus I can't make anyone feel better if I can't help myself plus I feel super lame with this username choice I was in very stupid mood and want to change it but cannot.)

Hey! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles with recovery. It’s such a hard thing, so props to you for doing the programs!

I was at an eating disorder program last year and relapsed after that - not an “addiction” thing, but: recovery from anything is HARD and we still deserve to acknowledge our work, regardless of ups and downs

It really means a lot to me that you took the time to reply and show support. It’s definitely a time in my life I’ve been needing it, and I appreciate you telling me it’s not lame (likewise don’t feel lame about your username man, I’m sorry you can’t change it but I don’t think it seems bad).

 

[Gigi.lexii]

I love that name, I love Canada. Gigi reminds me of the movie. Psych major here too . Classical pianist as well. Wow we have alot in common.

WOOH! Wow classical piano, that’s crazy talent, I could never. I play trumpet, but I’m certainly not classically trained

Yay Psych! Man I love it! It took me ages to get back to school. I’m just in my first year and it’s gonna be slow-moving, but I absolutely looooove psychology.

 

[Gigi.lexii]

Good morning @Gigi.lexii

Not lame nor pathetic to want the company.

Welcome to Bluelight!

Thank you for your reply, and thank you so much for reassuring me that it’s not lame or pathetic!! Really appreciate all the lovely warmth and support here already!!

...

PS: soooo sorry for all the posts here guys - just realized there is a multi quote option, and haven’t quite figured that one out yet lmao. Maybe it’ll be easier on the laptop, but I’ll get it sorted lol. Sorry to be spammy
Thanks again for all the love

 

[bongdong]

Hey

I really love indie/alternative, classic rock... with a special place for hip hop lol! Music makes me feel so much better. What about you, what kind do you like?

That's cool, good for you. It depends, i'm pretty open in that regard. Was a bit of a closed-minded metalhead when young (but it was also a coping mechanism back then), yet wondered on and explore/enjoy all kinds of stuff now. Since i got accustomed to some silence, i like and sometimes prefer that as well.

Cheers 🌨 ❄ (..it's already freakin' snowing here.)

 

[Random-dude-from-internet]

Hii everyone! I’m Gigi. I’m 28 and from Canada. I’m a part-time Psyc student and passionate about music. ❤
I’ve looked for a community like this for a few reasons:

I finished ~7 months of Suboxone and promptly relapsed on Xanax and H. (I was always more into oxy&morph, but they’re more scarce here than ever.)

During recovery, I cut ties with almost every friend I had, as basically everyone I knew used drugs. Now I’m pretty alone, and Covid doesn’t help, and I’m using anyways. So that was dumb.

Lastly, I found out my boyfriend never actually recovered 8 months ago. He hid using H (etc) the whole time, and I’m really struggling with fearing for him... and just... being so distant from him.

Basically, I’ve had nobody to talk to about anything drug related. I’m hoping a community like this can help me feel less alone lol.. as lame and pathetic as that honestly sounds.

Sorry for the long first post! Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for taking me in, Bluelight

Hi @Gigi.lexii !

I never been hooked on the heavier stuff, (I guess it's newer to late to try? ) but you sound like a nice person, Im newly divorced (male 40ish) and also divorced from most of my friends, because I changed country a few times, and I put most of my social energy into the bloody marriage, and because many of my friends where just fair weather friends anyway, easy come easy go, I wasn't much better myself...

Good thing Im still friends with my x-wife so I can use her as a character reference for future marriages...

I never had a heroin addicted partner, but I had liers, cheaters, stalkers, etc...

Im super bored now, and freaking Covid-19 is turning me into a involuntary monk...