Hopeless Why can't I get my work done

[thegreenhand]

This semester has been so rough for me. All of my classes are online and I'm really struggling to keep up - in fact I'm already about 1-2 weeks behind. I have a midterm coming up in a couple hours that I know basically nothing for and two more later this week. I feel like I'm sinking and sinking and the more I reach for the surface the quicker the waves pull me down. I can't even tell myself the ole "You gave it your best shot" because, honestly I haven't. I've procrastinated so god damn much this past month. Waking up and logging onto zoom and online learning modules all day made things feel like they weren't even real. And why would i give effort into something that's not real.

But they are real and it's only now hitting me in full force that I've been lazy and made such poor decisions. I question everyday whether I even wanna keep going. I just want it to stop so i can breathe.

 

[deficiT]

@thegreenhand I'm sorry. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. One task at a time. Don't beat yourself up too much, sometimes the motivation just doesn't come. Many other cliches to drop but I guess they're true.

I've been trying to get back into community college the past couple months and have virtually given up (literally totaled my car otw to the placement test), and everything just feels broken and useless online, as the computer system virtually pooped on me during my rescheduled time. Now I'm sharing a car w/ my wife and battling insurance, banks, and state governments just to get my money through to get a new ride. So I'm gearing up to just do simple shit the rest of my life and hope for the best, maybe some satisfaction will come from that eventually, idk but I'm feeling a little hopeless too at times, even on my birthday.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[thegreenhand]

Thanks brotha, happy birthday

Im sorry to hear your situation is tough too. I hope you can finish school eventually. It sucks absolute ass but it is so god damn fulfilling when you're in the groove. Cliches exist because they're true I suppose. No point in looking back

 

[mokele]

This semester has been so rough for me. All of my classes are online and I'm really struggling to keep up - in fact I'm already about 1-2 weeks behind. I have a midterm coming up in a couple hours that I know basically nothing for and two more later this week. I feel like I'm sinking and sinking and the more I reach for the surface the quicker the waves pull me down. I can't even tell myself the ole "You gave it your best shot" because, honestly I haven't. I've procrastinated so god damn much this past month. Waking up and logging onto zoom and online learning modules all day made things feel like they weren't even real. And why would i give effort into something that's not real.

But they are real and it's only now hitting me in full force that I've been lazy and made such poor decisions. I question everyday whether I even wanna keep going. I just want it to stop so i can breathe.

PROCASTINATION (sp?) ! MY LIFELONG DEMON!!!

 

[mokele]

@thegreenhand I'm sorry. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. One task at a time. Don't beat yourself up too much, sometimes the motivation just doesn't come. Many other cliches to drop but I guess they're true.

I've been trying to get back into community college the past couple months and have virtually given up (literally totaled my car otw to the placement test), and everything just feels broken and useless online, as the computer system virtually pooped on me during my rescheduled time. Now I'm sharing a car w/ my wife and battling insurance, banks, and state governments just to get my money through to get a new ride. So I'm gearing up to just do simple shit the rest of my life and hope for the best, maybe some satisfaction will come from that eventually, idk but I'm feeling a little hopeless too at times, even on my birthday.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY deficiT

 

[thegreenhand]

PROCASTINATION (sp?) ! MY LIFELONG DEMON!!!

has anyone ever beat it?

 

[sdxyln]

I cannot get into one. Boohoo.

 

[thegreenhand]

I am having a hard time with school as well...

Like sometimes I feel so fucking stupid for having to read again and again to understand the material.

yup it feels like everyone else just gets it. i think everyone probably feels this but no one will talk about it. that imposter syndrome is reeeal

 

[Joey]

I had a similar experience, I wasn’t doing my best starting school online either last month, and I wound up dropping my term, leave of absence until January. My reasoning was a little more than plain old procrastination, I attempted a detox and could barely stay awake let alone focus on school. I saw myself falling behind too much too fast. I fucked it up. I failed to stay clean too.

Maybe you could do something similar, take some time off I mean to recollect and try again. Ask for a semester off, take the time to try to get your head together to start over. It sounds like you may be in over your head to the point of not being able to catch up anyway right.

Is there anything about the online system that really gets to you or is there something you do that’s distracting you while you’re supposed to be focusing on school? How’s the balance in your life in general? A lot of us are pretty well on the brink of some crisis or another these days, not an easy time for anyone.

I had to postpone it for awhile. Might not be a bad idea to explore that option, whatever you’re going through.

 

[thegreenhand]

I had a similar experience, I wasn’t doing my best starting school online either last month, and I wound up dropping my term, leave of absence until January. My reasoning was a little more than plain old procrastination, I attempted a detox and could barely stay awake let alone focus on school. I saw myself falling behind too much too fast. I fucked it up. I failed to stay clean too.

Maybe you could do something similar, take some time off I mean to recollect and try again. Ask for a semester off, take the time to try to get your head together to start over. It sounds like you may be in over your head to the point of not being able to catch up anyway right.

Is there anything about the online system that really gets to you or is there something you do that’s distracting you while you’re supposed to be focusing on school? How’s the balance in your life in general? A lot of us are pretty well on the brink of some crisis or another these days, not an easy time for anyone.

I had to postpone it for awhile. Might not be a bad idea to explore that option, whatever you’re going through.

Hey man glad to hear you found what you needed.

Unfortunately I don’t think I’d be eligible for my scholarship anymore if I took time off but who knows maybe they have COVID exceptions. The online certainly doesn’t help but I don’t think it’s just that. Everything just feels... unfulfilling. Like normally I do genuinely enjoy learning. Busy work sucks but I do love the feeling of putting ideas together. But not anymore. It’s like nothing connects. It feels so meaningless. I’ve been working a lot of hours at work which does make for me being short on time always, but honestly interacting with my coworkers is one of the only fulfilling things I have left. That and triathlon training, which feels rather meaningless too with nowhere to race anytime soon