Chapter II: The Abyss is Eternal !

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Captain.Heroin said:
Kind of upset because of stupid shitty things, small hurdles and people in general.

how are you? <3
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Aw man im sorry to hear that. I hope everything gets resolved. Stupid shitty things can take a lot of energy. And people in general are assholes <3

Im doing ok. Kinda drunk which is nice for a change. Police hearing regarding an abusive ex on friday. It's like the 6'th hearing. At least he's arrested now so that good!
 
One time i was going to save a meme or something on bl and I did it the wrong way and all the pictures of the page got saved, including your profile pic @Captain.Heroin , my husband was convinced I was watching gay porn he was so mad lol
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Aw man im sorry to hear that. I hope everything gets resolved. Stupid shitty things can take a lot of energy. And people in general are assholes <3

Im doing ok. Kinda drunk which is nice for a change. Police hearing regarding an abusive ex on friday. It's like the 6'th hearing. At least he's arrested now so that good!
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I hope you are in a safe situation and have people who really appreciate you in your life <3 :)

My relationship is going really well so that's something :D
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I hope you are in a safe situation and have people who really appreciate you in your life <3 :)

My relationship is going really well so that's something :D
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Yeeeah my family supports me and stuff but I don't really have any irl friends to talk to. Trying to get some contact through some forums now though! And I always got bluelight. I would fucking implode without being able to spill my emotions on here lol.

Im glad your relationship is going well! Btw, From what I've readd you smoke quite much? Do you have any tips on keeping your tolerance low?
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Yeeeah my family supports me and stuff but I don't really have any irl friends to talk to. Trying to get some contact through some forums now though! And I always got bluelight. I would fucking implode without being able to spill my emotions on here lol.

Im glad your relationship is going well! Btw, From what I've readd you smoke quite much? Do you have any tips on keeping your tolerance low?
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It can be hard with the pandemic.

Just do what you love. If you're a painter, find other people to do that with. If you are a writer like me, find other people to do that with. You can start small like finding a neighborhood friend just to go on nightly walks.

What do you like to do? :)
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Im glad your relationship is going well! Btw, From what I've readd you smoke quite much? Do you have any tips on keeping your tolerance low?
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Oh, god... I wish.

If you get sick with covid or the flu, that's a perfect time to take a break and it'll be easier because you're like struggling to breathe as it is.

That's like my only tolerance break right there. If you can do a voluntary one, do that, it's awesome. I totally can't.

The guy I'm seeing he'll take 1/5th of a size of a hit I will.. and is like... SO fucked up, like obviously behaviorally changed. And I'm like... damn can I borrow your brain bro?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
It can be hard with the pandemic.

Just do what you love. If you're a painter, find other people to do that with. If you are a writer like me, find other people to do that with. You can start small like finding a neighborhood friend just to go on nightly walks.

What do you like to do? :)
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I can't really just find new friends though, my husband is incedibly jealous. I would love to find new friends that wanna go on raves, listen to the same musicc as me an such, but it's just not an option right now and that sucks. I could have such a different life right now if I just take the steps to get there..

Aww okay sorry about the tolerance thingy. I can't really keep of it at all lol. It's just the economic situation keeping me at 0.6 grams a day. I have a haaard fucking time just not smoking after 6 pm lol. Only time I get a tolerance break is if im flat out broke lol. it's quite silly actually, I can have like ALL THE DRUGS, mdma, speed, benso whatever, and I still wont be happy bc I dont have fucking weed. If that aint addicted I dont know what is lol
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
I can't really just find new friends though, my husband is incedibly jealous. I would love to find new friends that wanna go on raves, listen to the same musicc as me an such, but it's just not an option right now and that sucks. I could have such a different life right now if I just take the steps to get there..

Aww okay sorry about the tolerance thingy. I can't really keep of it at all lol. It's just the economic situation keeping me at 0.6 grams a day. I have a haaard fucking time just not smoking after 6 pm lol. Only time I get a tolerance break is if im flat out broke lol. it's quite silly actually, I can have like ALL THE DRUGS, mdma, speed, benso whatever, and I still wont be happy bc I dont have fucking weed. If that aint addicted I dont know what is lol
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I'm so thankful I can use right now, if I was running out/low all the time I'd be miserable.

I think 0.3 to 0.5 grams a day isn't bad, that's a few good dabs. I'm probably right around your level.

Some people take 0.5 to 1 gram dabs... I wouldn't do that to myself lol
 
Im like aways on the brink of running out lol. Keeps my tolerance "low" though so im kinda glad tbh.

Captain.Heroin said:
That really isn't a good trait to have. Does he have any friends?

I'm not trying to put anyone down but it's an unhealthy trait to have.
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Nah not any close ones atleast. Yeah it takes a lot of energy. Especially since I have an abusive ex. A lot of jealous things he do remind me of that which makes my ptsd go crazy
 
My ex-wife was jealous to the point of not wanting me to do anything with anyone else. God I shudder to think how I used to try to justify that behavior. It's incredibly controlling and unfair and unhealthy. Really bad in a partner.

You should be able to do you! If you're with someone who tries to stop you from expressing yourself and making connections with new people, that's fucked up and you shouldn't stand for it.
 
Xorkoth said:
God I shudder to think how I used to try to justify that behavior.
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Putting up with it implies you can't control yourself or need someone to prevent you from doing things that are otherwise considered cheating.

And it's like, who wants someone who needs to be watched 24/7 anyways?

The whole psychological mindset is a mark of someone who is beyond repair.

Jealous people will go psychotic and convince themselves you are unfaithful even if you aren't. It's best to avoid these types.

Find someone who is more into themselves than into you.
 
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