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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Yeah, anxiety is the root, but what's the cause of long-term anxiety? I've noticed my memory is much better when waking up or falling asleep. I guess it's some rapid neuron firing causing overstimula overlapping my memory recall...
There could be a couple specific causes there. For example regarding the breathing pattern theory above, ecstasy abuse could result in anxiety with breathing pattern disturbances, then those breathing pattern disturbances lead to issues with neck muscles that could perpetuate symptoms by causing physical issues with cranial nerves/arteries. The physical issues could still have a chance of getting better with time or resolving with your average cardio/workout/mindfulness routine, but they could also be self-reinforcing. Anxiety definitely begets anxiety as is.

Also^ short term memory is consolidated into long term memory during sleep, some research has shown people remember things better when they learn them right before sleep
 
All my tingling feelings and dumb face was due to anxiety cause it’s gone. Went away after starting sertraline. I was worried about damaged nerves, but that wasn’t the case.
Did it sound anything like respiratory alkalosis from hyperventilation/anxiety breathing? A very common problem with anxiety breathing, antidepressants seem to help with the anxiety and disordered breathing. Keep that in mind if you ever come off of antidepressant and have a resurgence, hope you're doing well
 
I've heard a lot of similar reports of chronic musculoskeletal problems and neurological/neuropathic pains, and not just brain zaps.
Disclaimer - not everyone's symptoms may have such a physical/musculoskeletal cause as mentioned below, but its worth investigating with the guidance of a healthcare professional for those of you experiencing many physical symptoms.

Some neck muscles are activated with "anxiety breathing". These are known as accessory muscles of respiration, and these neck muscles (such as the SCM and scalenes) can cause all sorts of symptoms. This seems to be due to these neck muscles interactions with nerve plexuses and arteries around the neck/cranium. A meditation technique like vipassana (a form of mindfulness using the breath as an anchor) is particularly helpful for those with anxiety, and may help reset the unhelpful breathing patterns.

Anxiety breathing can also cause respiratory alkalosis, an acute symptom of panic breathing. A primary symptom of which is tingling, typically starting in the face and progressing further.

In your case with arm symptoms and other physical pains, see Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, which a couple of us have had. I would definitely check it out, but try not to self-diagnose. TOS is primarily a hand/arm condition, but various symptoms affecting the head can be present.

TOS is difficult to diagnose and many doctors are not familiar with it, and unfortunately if somebody goes to a doctor with these "psychiatric" symptoms also present, many valid physical musculoskeletal issues can be ignored or waived away as many doctors would think that we are crazy. TOS's ability to cause neurological/psychiatric symptoms is still not clear. It has been shown with brain bloodflow imaging studies that the neck muscles involved in TOS can compress certain arteries that supply the brain with blood, and I would bet that chronic compression/irritation of the subclavian artery could affect the brain as well. Personally, my psychiatric symptoms got better as I treated the physical illness. There are certainly many reasons why treating physical illness will improve mental health though, and as a general guideline everyone should aim to be in better physical shape.

There are many ways to treat TOS, and I have had neck injections and surgery as well. That surgeon, a regional TOS expert (MD+PhD), has a theory that the scalene muscles primarily cause the head symptoms where they attach up into the back of the scalp. There are many cranial nerves there (see occipital neuralgia).

The brain zaps (also frequent in SSRI withdrawal, in people who have never taken ecstasy) are known to be an issue with cranial nerves rather than the brain itself, and the cranial nerves run all sorts of weird routes through the head/neck. The cranial nerves and cranial arteries both express serotonin receptors. See the condition occipital neuralgia again, known for causing visual disturbances similar to HPPD and migraine. Lidocaine injections can be helpful for occipital neuralgia. As yet another example, an ophthalmologist told me many years ago that many of these visual disturbances are caused by an artery spasming in the back of the head. Anyways, there can be many physical causes to strange symptoms that might appear at first glance to have a chemical/cellular cause.

In the case of someone with TOS, the goal would be to stretch/release the muscles and tissues that need to be stretched, and to strengthen the muscles that need to be strong so that they can hold proper posture. Correction of bad posture (especially forward head posture) is extremely important no matter who you are. I have no doubt that many of you are hunched over as hell as you read this.

Physical therapy is where I would start. They can be very helpful in accurately diagnosing and treating musculoskeletal/neuropathic pains. As you progress along with physical therapy, I'd be happy to offer some pointers and share my experiences with it. I did multiple stints of physical therapy, about a year for 2-3 times a week, and in that time I recovered the use of my hands. Which I lost the use of for about 2 years. Fun times.

Hang in there everybody,
CY
Cotcha how was your withrawal from risoeridone?
 
Cotcha how was your withrawal from risoeridone?
I had rebound effects after being stabilized on 2mg a couple months. Restlessness and insomnia, although I can have problems with those two if the dose gets too high as well. Its important to come up with a tapering plan with a doctor if you intend to come off a medication. Coming off cold turkey is a really bad idea.
 
I had rebound effects after being stabilized on 2mg a couple months. Restlessness and insomnia, although I can have problems with those two if the dose gets too high as well. Its important to come up with a tapering plan with a doctor if you intend to come off a medication. Coming off cold turkey is a really bad idea.
I widrawed from zyprexa and im in hell right now i need to move constantly plus symptoms of my ltc still dont decrease after 21 month
I was at 70% with zyprexa
It seems like all drugs working serotonine receptors effects me badly when im widrawing from it . How was your agitation cotcha ? You panick attack after stoping risperidone?
 
I widrawed from zyprexa and im in hell right now i need to move constantly plus symptoms of my ltc still dont decrease after 21 month
I was at 70% with zyprexa
It seems like all drugs working serotonine receptors effects me badly when im widrawing from it . How was your agitation cotcha ? You panick attack after stoping risperidone?
The movement issues are thought to be due to anti-psychotics effects on dopamine receptors. When an anti-psychotic blocks dopamine receptors long term, they upregulate and sensitize, particularly in movement related areas of the brain. When you come off of an antipsychotic, there is rebound activity and it takes a while for those receptors to desensitize and calm back down. Just to clarify, this effect happens in people who are given drugs that only block dopamine receptors. I personally got the same withdrawal symptoms after withdrawing from anti-psychotics that selectively affect dopamine receptors.

I had rebound everything after stopping Risperidone. I should've tapered a lot slower, especially because I get restless legs syndrome as is (I've had that since I was a kid). I think the first week of it was the worst for me, after being stabilized on 2mg for about 6 months.

Hang in there. The movement issues get better and better with time. It can take a while for the drug to completely come out of your system. There have definitely been times where I've withdrawn off of a drug too quickly and have needed to go back onto a light dose and then taper that. That's something you should talk to a doctor about if you're in a crisis.

CY
 
The movement issues are thought to be due to anti-psychotics effects on dopamine receptors. When an anti-psychotic blocks dopamine receptors long term, they upregulate and sensitize, particularly in movement related areas of the brain. When you come off of an antipsychotic, there is rebound activity and it takes a while for those receptors to desensitize and calm back down. Just to clarify, this effect happens in people who are given drugs that only block dopamine receptors. I personally got the same withdrawal symptoms after withdrawing from anti-psychotics that selectively affect dopamine receptors.

I had rebound everything after stopping Risperidone. I should've tapered a lot slower, especially because I get restless legs syndrome as is (I've had that since I was a kid). I think the first week of it was the worst for me, after being stabilized on 2mg for about 6 months.

Hang in there. The movement issues get better and better with time. It can take a while for the drug to completely come out of your system. There have definitely been times where I've withdrawn off of a drug too quickly and have needed to go back onto a light dose and then taper that. That's something you should talk to a doctor about if you're in a crisis.

CY
I cant thank you enought for your symphatie you are an agel
 
Hi everyone,

I could really use some reassurance as I think I’ve ruined my life with this substance. I’m a 40 year old male, 6 foot-170 pounds. No history with depression or anxiety and not on any medications. Did MDMA with a mental health therapist as a way to find more compassion for myself back in February 2020. The session went great...pure MDMA straight from the chemist. Dose was 135mg with 80mg booster ab hour and 1/2 later. I took supplements all throughout session and had no come down whatsoever.

5 weeks ago I decided to do another session with this therapist and did everything exactly the same way except I forgot to drink electrolytes and only drank water. The session was ok, but I’ve had an awful comedown. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the booster and that’s where it all changed. I had a small panic attack after I took it because I went against my intuition. I calmed down and I ended rolling much harder than the first time, but it was not as calm and enjoyable as my initial experience. Since then I’ve had a constant headache for five straight weeks along with disorientation, lightheadedness, weird vision, brain fog, fatigue, trouble concentrating, and sensitivity to vibrations like heavy bass in music. I never get headaches ever and this has been relentless.

Nothing has helped. I’ve been taking Total Human stacked supplements from Onnit and I’ve tried Advil and Tylenol, but nothing works. I eat well and work out. Five straight weeks of a pressure headache around my temple, eyes, and neck. I just feel off mentally and cognitively...I was feeling so good before that second session.

Since I don’t have a primary doctor I took myself to the ER and they ran a CT scan and did some bloodwork and everything was completely fine. I’m going to go get an MRI, but I imagine that will be fine as well from what I’ve read from this support board.

Has anyone had a similar experience recovering from the symptoms I have described? I’m terrified this won’t go away..it’s been 5 weeks with no improvement whatsoever. I appreciate all your advice in advance. Thank you.
 
did your HPPD fully resolve?
Its 90% better, but I can tell you that I don't mind whatever visuals are left, and more visuals wouldn't really bother me. The depersonalization aspect of HPPD seems to be what makes it actually distressful for most people.
 
I had a small panic attack after I took it because I went against my intuition. I calmed down and I ended rolling much harder than the first time, but it was not as calm and enjoyable as my initial experience. Since then I’ve had a constant headache for five straight weeks along with disorientation, lightheadedness, weird vision, brain fog, fatigue, trouble concentrating, and sensitivity to vibrations like heavy bass in music. I never get headaches ever and this has been relentless.

Nothing has helped. I’ve been taking Total Human stacked supplements from Onnit and I’ve tried Advil and Tylenol, but nothing works. I eat well and work out. Five straight weeks of a pressure headache around my temple, eyes, and neck. I just feel off mentally and cognitively...I was feeling so good before that second session.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occipital_neuralgia

Many of people's symptoms seem to be intertwined with the cranial nerves and cerebral (brain) bloodflow. You should definitely find a head pain/migraine specialist for starters. If I were in your shoes, I would primarily be looking for a neurologist that specializes in migraine. If they are not interested in coordinating eg lidocaine injections into the back of the head/neck/occipital region then they might be willing to throw any number of migraine medications at you while searching for occipital lidocaine injections, and believe me there are tons of different classes to try.

The cranial nerves project onto arteries and wrap around them, releasing all sorts of vasoactive substances and receiving pain related information from them. Arteries express serotonin receptors, and cranial nerves do as well. Some of LSD's beneficial effects for clusterheadache sufferers is thought to be related to the expression of 5-HT2A receptors on arteries and cranial nerves, although I certainly do not recommend trying LSD at this time.

What has the MDMA-therapist said regarding these symptoms? I would not be surprised if they are in cover-their-ass mode. I want to see MDMA assisted psychotherapy progress just as much as the next hippie, but if there are adverse reactions then we should be able to embrace those as part of the risk to benefit ratio like any other medicine. Feel better soon and feel free to let me know if you'd like to private message regarding the MDMA-therapist, I can tell you right now that we in the community don't want some crackpot therapist (no offense to them) in their garden ruining the progress that has been made in psychedelic science (MDMA's FDA trials). Some adverse effects of medications are not noticed until post-marketing surveillance, when there is a much larger patient population to gather from. During phase III trials, even with a 1000 patient active arm, side effects and adverse reactions can be missed.

CY
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occipital_neuralgia

Some adverse effects of medications are not noticed until post-marketing surveillance, when there is a much larger patient population to gather from. During phase III trials, even with a 1000 patient active arm, side effects and adverse reactions can be missed.

CY

Not only are they missed, they are actively suppressed and lobbied against by the manufacturers to the FDA.
 
Unfortunately, you guys are all guessing and there's no proof that it's the cranial nerves or any other nerves. This guessing will go on forever unless we get the government body to start doing studies on this issue or find a way to get larger studies involved. Basically - real funding and studies rather than guesswork.

I reached out to a few guys to work together on this, but you guys just disapear. It seems you guys are just afraid to face the reality.

Most of you guys are saying you're 90%+ better, but it seems no one is saying 100%. Everyone is saying 99%, 90%, 95%, etc. Where is the 100%?

Look, only way we'll get this resolved is if we come together and start looking to solve this on a larger scale. This guessing at Carnial nerve, this nerve, that nerve, is not helping/working. Every post from beginning of this thread, you put these theories together there are maybe 300+ theories/self diagnosis. Almost everything in medical book.

Just my thoughts.

Most people that are also diagnosing and trying to give advice to others haven't even figured their own issue out yet.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occipital_neuralgia

Many of people's symptoms seem to be intertwined with the cranial nerves and cerebral (brain) bloodflow. You should definitely find a head pain/migraine specialist for starters. If I were in your shoes, I would primarily be looking for a neurologist that specializes in migraine. If they are not interested in coordinating eg lidocaine injections into the back of the head/neck/occipital region then they might be willing to throw any number of migraine medications at you while searching for occipital lidocaine injections, and believe me there are tons of different classes to try.

The cranial nerves project onto arteries and wrap around them, releasing all sorts of vasoactive substances and receiving pain related information from them. Arteries express serotonin receptors, and cranial nerves do as well. Some of LSD's beneficial effects for clusterheadache sufferers is thought to be related to the expression of 5-HT2A receptors on arteries and cranial nerves, although I certainly do not recommend trying LSD at this time.

What has the MDMA-therapist said regarding these symptoms? I would not be surprised if they are in cover-their-ass mode. I want to see MDMA assisted psychotherapy progress just as much as the next hippie, but if there are adverse reactions then we should be able to embrace those as part of the risk to benefit ratio like any other medicine. Feel better soon and feel free to let me know if you'd like to private message regarding the MDMA-therapist, I can tell you right now that we in the community don't want some crackpot therapist (no offense to them) in their garden ruining the progress that has been made in psychedelic science (MDMA's FDA trials). Some adverse effects of medications are not noticed until post-marketing surveillance, when there is a much larger patient population to gather from. During phase III trials, even with a 1000 patient active arm, side effects and adverse reactions can be missed.

CY
I appreciate the advice and I’m looking for a neurologist at the moment. The therapist says it’s highly unlikely this was caused by the MDMA. She said the symptoms I’m having are typically from people who abuse the drug heavily and not at the dose that I took. However after doing some research it seems like the dose that I took is much more than what is recommend for therapeutic use by MAPS.
 
Most of you guys are saying you're 90%+ better, but it seems no one is saying 100%. Everyone is saying 99%, 90%, 95%, etc. Where is the 100%?

Look, only way we'll get this resolved is if we come together and start looking to solve this on a larger scale. This guessing at Carnial nerve, this nerve, that nerve, is not helping/working. Every post from beginning of this thread, you put these theories together there are maybe 300+ theories/self diagnosis. Almost everything in medical book.
Some people seem to be really concerned with returning to exactly the way they were - I can tell you that I am happier than I was before I ever started taking heroic doses of MDMA/ecstasy and bath salts, but I suppose I couldn't say that I've returned to 100% of my former self. I definitely wouldn't want to now.

Part of the issue with the different theories (as someone who has been trying to sort this out with my friends group who was having issues before I ever found these forums) is that there are so many different syndromes. My friends with 1000+ lifetime pills of MDMA (E-tards) already have relevant literature and studies, but the one-off dose syndromes seem to be different. I highly doubt that there will be one cause or one finding. Some people will say that 100% of these cases are anxiety, including HPPD. The best I have been able to do is separate out a few common syndromes, and some of these syndromes are not specific to MDMA/ecstasy.

If there was ever to be a formal investigation outside of a case study of one subject, it could be helpful to have roughly categorized that subject into one of the common syndromes. Not to turn this into a personal defense of my varying hypotheses, but many of them are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and different pathological causes could also lead to the same syndromes. There are many people who take ecstasy, and unfortunately many people who develop neuropsychiatric/health conditions. Eventually the intersection of those two will occur.

You can email psychiatrists and neuroscientists if you like, but neuroimaging or Genome Wide Association Studies could be very expensive, and that would probably be the limiting factor. Unless one of us has rather deep pockets and wants to fund some controversial research. If someone wanted to fund some neuroimaging studies, that is something that could be coordinated cross center, or people could be flown out to the particular site.
 
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I appreciate the advice and I’m looking for a neurologist at the moment. The therapist says it’s highly unlikely this was caused by the MDMA. She said the symptoms I’m having are typically from people who abuse the drug heavily and not at the dose that I took. However after doing some research it seems like the dose that I took is much more than what is recommend for therapeutic use by MAPS.
It is slightly higher than what they are using in FDA trials for MDMA but not appreciably higher in my personal opinion. While they should be using lower doses, I wouldn't worry about it in your case. Millions of people have taken 200+mg in a night of polydrug abuse and have come away without appreciable side effects

Many people precipitate a condition above a symptomatic threshold with drugs, but I am not sure that this is something you would've developed had you never taken MDMA. That it may have been precipitated by the MDMA may not be relevant however, some people prefer to just focus on symptomatic treatment and ignore the original cause. You could show up to a migraine specialty clinic and they may never even need to know about the drug exposure in order to find you good treatments
 
Cotcha im trying to pm but its impossible
There is a message » oops we have a probleme «
May you box if full
 
I have a fucking pressure around my right side of my belly . Some of the other on this forum complain having it in head but me its around the liver its been 21 month now when i took alprazolam it calms down
 
Hi everyone,

I could really use some reassurance as I think I’ve ruined my life with this substance. I’m a 40 year old male, 6 foot-170 pounds. No history with depression or anxiety and not on any medications. Did MDMA with a mental health therapist as a way to find more compassion for myself back in February 2020. The session went great...pure MDMA straight from the chemist. Dose was 135mg with 80mg booster ab hour and 1/2 later. I took supplements all throughout session and had no come down whatsoever.

5 weeks ago I decided to do another session with this therapist and did everything exactly the same way except I forgot to drink electrolytes and only drank water. The session was ok, but I’ve had an awful comedown. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the booster and that’s where it all changed. I had a small panic attack after I took it because I went against my intuition. I calmed down and I ended rolling much harder than the first time, but it was not as calm and enjoyable as my initial experience. Since then I’ve had a constant headache for five straight weeks along with disorientation, lightheadedness, weird vision, brain fog, fatigue, trouble concentrating, and sensitivity to vibrations like heavy bass in music. I never get headaches ever and this has been relentless.

Nothing has helped. I’ve been taking Total Human stacked supplements from Onnit and I’ve tried Advil and Tylenol, but nothing works. I eat well and work out. Five straight weeks of a pressure headache around my temple, eyes, and neck. I just feel off mentally and cognitively...I was feeling so good before that second session.

Since I don’t have a primary doctor I took myself to the ER and they ran a CT scan and did some bloodwork and everything was completely fine. I’m going to go get an MRI, but I imagine that will be fine as well from what I’ve read from this support board.

Has anyone had a similar experience recovering from the symptoms I have described? I’m terrified this won’t go away..it’s been 5 weeks with no improvement whatsoever. I appreciate all your advice in advance. Thank you.

I think you're in it for the long haul. I've only done 100mg once and I have cognitive issues, brain fog, trouble concentrating, too. I'm on my 14th month. The good news is that I'm getting better. Hopefully completely normal very soon.
 
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